"You are going to find very few ladies here who are near your age and marriageable."
"There is you."
She gave him a look of impatience. "I am close to your age, but not marriageable to you, as you well know."
"Quite right. I forget myself when you look so lovely."
She blushed, and he wondered if that, too, was part of the game. If she could call her blood to the surface on command. He despised that he questioned every aspect of her behavior this evening. Above all else, he wanted honesty between them. He understood that there couldn't be love, but there could be affection, honesty, friendship.
"What's wrong?" she asked quietly.
He shook his head, then decided he couldn't expect her to be honest if he wasn't the same. "I would rather you not play games with me. Play them with your duke, but not with me."
"I've forgotten how not to play them."
"Then perhaps I shall educate you as you educate me."
The music drifted into silence, and he released a weary sigh, wishing the night would come to a hasty end. "Who is next?"
"Lady Alice."
"I danced with Lady Alice before I danced with you."
"No, you danced with Lady Anne."
Her memory astounded him. "I assume you'll see that I make it to Lady Alice's side without tripping over my own feet."
"Of course."
She guided him through the crowd, smiling at people she passed, offering a whisper here, a touch on the arm there. She was truly in her element, the gracious hostess at a ball for which she wasn't hostess. How in the world could she not see that she'd already garnered the respect that she thought she lacked? And damn it all if her smiles didn't seem genuinely offered to everyone except him.
She loved the attention, blossomed in it, and was so good at giving it back. And to his immense surprise, she seemed to give to everyone. Oh, he noticed an extra pat on the arm to a gentleman whose clothing seemed to be made of finer cloth than most, but she didn't seem to distinguish between persons based on appearance.
She stopped, touching a gentleman on the shoulder. Arch didn't much like the way the man looked down at Camilla, as though he could envision running his finger along her decolletage.
"Lord Winburrow," she said quietly, "Lady Jane Myerson has yet to take to the floor, and Lord Sachse is not on her dance card until the eighth dance. As you are such a highly regarded gentleman, I thought I should make you aware of her circumstance so you might take it upon yourself to spare her the embarrassment of sitting in the corner for so long without a dance partner."
"It is kind of you to bring her sad state to my attention, but I believe I shall sit this one out."
"As your mistress will be dancing with her husband, I believe it would do you well to be occupied with another lady before others notice on whom your attention seems to linger."
Lord Winburrow blushed scarlet and looked as though his cravat had suddenly transformed into a hangman's noose.
"I appreciate your counsel. I shall seek out Lady Jane immediately."
Arch watched the man scamper away. "You approve of his affair?" he asked quietly.
"It is not my place to judge. You will find that some women are very open about their lovers, even having them as escorts rather than their husbands. His mistress is not to that point."
He shook his head. "I don't understand the aristocracy. I suppose I should add to my requirements a woman who will not take a lover."
She peered up at him, smiling softly. "I believe you will keep any woman from straying."
"You surprised me by offering a kindness to Lady Jane Myerson after her scandalous lack of gloves."
She lifted a delicate shoulder. "Just because she isn't right for you doesn't mean she isn't perfect for someone else." Her smile blossomed into one of genuine joy. "And here is Lady Alice."
Arch remembered her now, being introduced to her as he'd signed her dance card. She was indeed pretty. Her blond hair was so pale as almost to match the shade of the pearls dotting her white gown, which made the deep green of her eyes more noticeable. Her features were flawless, her smile genuine and one of warmth.
"Lord Sachse."
Her voice was that of a nightingale.
"Lady Alice."
"I must admit I've been looking forward to our dance. The countess speaks so highly of you."
"She can speak no more highly of me than I do of her." He thought he was presenting himself as an absolute buffoon. He'd attended several balls and never crossed paths with the elegant and poised lady before him.
"I daresay that this is fortunate timing indeed, as I was about to go searching for my next dance partner."
The voice was gruff but kind, and when Arch looked at the man whom he was certain was the Duke of Kingsbridge, he knew he shouldn't have taken an immediate dislike to him, because there was nothing about him deserving of that attitude. But he couldn't seem to help himself. He disliked everything about him.
He had thick side whiskers and a heavy mustache, both white to such an extent that Arch couldn't determine what the original color might have been. Not that it was important. His eyes matched his daughter's, as did his smile and his warmth. Perhaps what Arch didn't like was that the duke seemed unaware that anyone other than he and Camilla was in the room, and when he extended his arm and Camilla placed her hand on it, it seemed she was of the same opinion.
"My lord?"
He snapped his attention to Lady Alice, who was waiting expectantly for him to give attention to her. He offered her his arm. "Shall we?"
As he escorted her to the dance area, he realized that she was extremely comfortable with her surroundings, at ease. Her smile as he took her into his arms encompassed her entire face. She seemed forthright, and he thought she'd never have secrets, would never be a mystery to unravel. She provided the openness and honesty he sought, and he wondered why he didn't find the notion more alluring.
As they twirled around the dance floor, she was as feathery as a cloud on a summer day, her eyes sparkling, her smile sublime. He thought that of all the ladies he'd danced with this evening, save one, she held the most promise.
"I'm rather pleased to see my father take such an interest in Lady Sachse," she said. "He's been widowed for nearly two years now, and he does get lonely."
"I understand he has an heir."
She laughed lightly. "Three as a matter of fact. My brothers are off on amazing adventures, while I'm left here to search for a husband. It seems rather unfair to me, as I should like very much to be on an adventure."
"Where would you like to go?" he asked.
"I'm not sure. Africa perhaps. Or Egypt. Or America. But my father is old-fashioned and believes that a woman shouldn't be interested in much beyond hearth and home."
"I suppose then that will be his attitude toward his next wife."
"If he does indeed take a wife. I certainly shan't push him toward that resolution, although a companion would be nice. And I rather like Lady Sachse."
"It seems a good many people do."
"She can be most discreet if a lady finds herself in trouble. I value that sort of loyalty."
Well, now, wasn't that interesting? "I didn't realize ladies confided in her."
"On all manner of things I'm sure."
He wanted to ask if she'd feel the same way if Camilla became her stepmother. Out of the corner of his eye, he caught sight of Camilla dancing with the duke. She looked stunningly beautiful.
"She's very lovely."
He jerked his gaze back to Lady Alice. "My apologies. I'm a bit distracted this evening. I'm under the impression that tonight is my last opportunity to assess the available ladies."
"A good many are already spoken for."
"So I've been told. If I may be so bold as to say, I'm surprised that you're not."
She wrinkled her nose. "I've not been looking seriously. My father is quite put out with me."
"He didn't give that impression."
"He
hasn't much of a temper, but he is threatening to cut back my allowance if I don't take the husband hunt seriously next Season. But I'd rather hunt in Africa."
"For a husband?"
She laughed. "No, for a lion. Although I must confess that I find a good many of these gentlemen to be most stuffy. Perhaps I should look for a husband in Africa."
The music stopped, and for only the second time this evening, he was sorry to see it happen.
"Thank you, my lord. I enjoyed the dance very much."
"I believe I'm to escort you back to your father."
Her smile seemed one of sorrow mixed with pity. "To my aunt. While you weren't looking, my father and his dance partner slipped out through the side doors."
He felt as though a fist had been driven into his gut. How in God's name did these people always manage to give the impression that nothing mattered? He feared his face revealed every emotion swarming through him.
"To your aunt then."
And since he couldn't remember with whom he was to dance next, he would have to go in search of Camilla.
The Duke of Kingsbridge had lived for half a century, was considerably younger than her husband had been, in attitude more than years.
"I miss the old girl," he said, as they walked through the garden, he with his hands behind his back, Camilla with her hands folded in front of her.
"She wouldn't want you to mourn forever, Your Grace," she responded kindly.
As it had turned out the tune had been his wife's favorite, and he'd become melancholy after a bit. Camilla could hardly blame him. His wife had been an exceedingly kind woman.
"I had no intention of falling in love with her when I married her," he said gruffly. "Give me an heir and a spare, and we'll both go on our way." He chuckled low. "Best-laid plans and all that."
Gas lighting throughout the garden cast a glow around them and a few other couples who'd come out for some air—and a bit more. She tried to overlook the stolen kisses that she caught sight of here and there. Most were chaste, a quick brushing of the lips, nothing at all like the kisses that Archie had bestowed upon her. The mere thought of them still had the power to ignite a fire low in her belly.
"So what of you and this new Earl of Sachse?" Kingsbridge asked.
Her stomach tightened, and she feared she'd been unable to mask her thoughts. "What of us?"
"Come, come, girl, you've had an old husband. You should have a young one."
"Sachse needs an heir, Your Grace."
"Bit of a nuisance that."
"I thought he and Lady Alice made a very nice-looking couple."
"My Alice cares more for adventure than marriage."
"She is almost twenty, Your Grace. Time for her to find a husband."
"I'll not force her to marry." He came to a stop at the end of the path and faced her. "What is it that you want, Lady Sachse?"
"I want him to be happy. I want him to have in his marriage what you had in yours."
"And you think Alice is the one?"
"I think it quite possible."
"But here we are at the end of the Season. I'll not rush her into a decision, nor will I seek to influence it. If the man wishes to take her hand in marriage, he'll have to do all the convincing himself. And I'll warn you now, she's not easily convinced of anything. Takes after her mother in that regard."
"It seems the only solution is to allow the earl and your daughter to have more time together. Perhaps you'll consider joining us at Sachse Hall for a while."
He angled his head thoughtfully. "I will consider it. But tell me true. Is he the only one you seek to make a match for?"
She gave him her warmest smile. "Not entirely, no."
His deep laugher rumbled through the garden. "It has been too long since I've played these flirtatious games. I've nearly forgotten how."
"Excuse me."
Alarm fissured through her as she recognized Archie's voice. She quickly turned, trying to mask her impatience. He couldn't have timed his arrival any worse if his watch were broken. And why in the world wasn't he flirting with Lady Alice?
"Sachse," Kingsbridge said, "come to make sure I'm not taking advantage of the lovely widow?"
"Actually, Camilla was helping me to keep track of my dance partners. I can't remember who is next."
"Then I'll leave you two to figure it out." He took her hand, winked, and placed a kiss on her gloved fingertips. "I shall keep your plans in mind."
He walked away, and she waited until he was out of earshot to hiss, "I was making great progress."
"That was quite evident to everyone."
"Whatever do you mean by that?"
"You looked absolutely besotted while you were dancing."
"I did not."
"You did so."
"I like him, Archie. I like him very much. He's much kinder than Lucien was, and his wife adored him."
"I didn't think there was love among the aristocracy."
"There is some." She released a deep sigh at this absurd conversation. "Lady Sylvia Giles, Lady Emily Cooper-Smythe, Lady Priscilla Norwood."
"Pardon?"
"Your next three dance partners. You might wish to memorize the names."
"I've probably missed my opportunity to dance with Lady Sylvia. I shall send her flowers and an apology tomorrow."
He sounded so beaten that her heart went out to him. "It's not that important. It's only a dance."
"I thought everything at these functions was important."
"In a way they are, but it's your first Season, you'll be forgiven. I'll see to it."
"You have an amazing amount of influence."
"Not as much as I'd like." Reaching up, she straightened his cravat and patted his lapels. "Now, we'd best get back before the duke thinks we're up to no good and decides you wouldn't be a good match for his daughter."
"Is that what you were discussing? His daughter and me?"
"I invited them to come to Sachse Hall." She lifted her gaze to his. "We'll discuss it all later. You mustn't keep Lady Emily Cooper-Smythe waiting."
She tried to make light of it when the truth was that she didn't care if he kept them all waiting. How could she find him a suitable wife when her heart wasn't truly in the task?
She began walking, and he fell into step beside her.
"I've not noticed the Duke and Duchess of Harrington here," he said.
"Yesterday, they left on their wedding trip. To Italy. I informed Rhys that I'd heard warmer climes aid with fertility."
"Where in the world did you hear that?" he asked, clearly astounded.
"I made inquiries," she admitted. She'd asked midwives and doctors and anyone she could think of if there was anything she could do to get herself with child. "I was quite desperate. I spent time with ladies who were with child because I'd been told that would increase my chances of finding myself with child." She glanced over at him, wondering why she was willing to admit to him what she'd never told another soul. "I even kept a pearl beneath my pillow."
"Why?"
She shrugged. "An old wives' tale that promised to increase fertility."
"I don't understand how a pearl—"
"You have to understand that I desperately wanted a child. I was willing to do anything. I would have hanged myself upside down if someone had told me it would make a difference."
"Yet nothing worked."
"Not for me." She glanced over at him. "But others seemed to have success."
"Perhaps you worried about getting with child overly much."
"I don't see that it would make any difference how much I worried."
"When I was a student, and I was preparing to take an examination, it seemed that the more I worried over it, no matter how much I studied, I did miserably on the examination. But when I wasn't so keen on doing well, I somehow managed to do exactly that. I did well. It was as though when I worried I fought against myself and caused the very thing I feared would happen."
"I fail to see that your si
tuation was anything like mine. The mind cannot control the body, for goodness' sakes. If you have a cut on your hand and worry over it healing, it doesn't not heal."
"I suppose not."
"I have reconciled myself to the fact that I shan't have children." She smiled over at him. "But I may be on my way to having a duke."
To her surprise, he reached over, took her hand, and carried it to his lips. She wondered why she could feel the heat of his mouth seeping through her glove to touch her skin when she'd not been able to feel the duke's.
"I want you to be happy, Camilla."
"I wish the same for you."
"Then we are of a like mind." He grinned. "I believe Lady Emily Cooper-Smythe is next on my list of dance partners."
"Indeed she is. You remembered."
His smile diminished, his gaze darkened. "I also remember that my last dance is with you. I'll not give it up, not tonight. So don't consider offering it to your duke. I'll not step aside."
He released her hand and walked into the ballroom, and all she could think was that for tonight, she didn't want him to give it up.
* * *
Chapter 8
As a general rule she loved the glitter and glamour of balls. She loved dancing, she loved steering gossip away from those she liked, yet never turned it toward those she didn't. Enemies were not something that a woman in her position could afford to have.
But tonight she was having a devil of a time not becoming melancholy. And she had no one other than herself to blame. She'd danced only a few of the dances, preferring to watch the revelers from a distance, to observe Archie with the various ladies so she might determine who seemed to complement him the best.
It had been pure torture. To watch various smiles play across his face, and to realize that after a Season of escorting him about London she'd unwittingly come to know the language of his smiles. Each one was true, not a single one false, and yet each managed to convey something a little different.
The smallest smile was kindly given, almost tolerant, a bit of interest in his dance partner, but she wasn't one who excited him. The smiles grew from there. Only with her now, during the final dance, did he smile with everything within him, as though at night's end, he found himself with the one woman with whom he truly wished to dance.
As an Earl Desires Page 8