by Terra Wolf
“Yeah, but this is Mountain Creek,” I laughed. “Everyone knows everyone.”
“Apparently not,” Willa shrugged.
I watched while she got out her notebook and popped the top off a pen. She wrote the date in the top right-hand corner of the paper and titled the page “Bio 101 Notes – Day 1.”
I smiled to myself while I watched her meticulous writing. She was careful to keep her handwriting neat. Her “y” was curled slightly in a girly way and I couldn’t help but think it was adorable.
“You really are a nerd, huh?” I teased. She looked at me with wide eyes and I gestured toward her notebook.
“I guess,” she said. “I just want to do well.”
I felt slightly chagrined at my teasing when her earnest and completely innocent gaze met mine. My attempt at flirting had obviously fallen flat. Willa had only just sat down and already, she was throwing me off my game. She seemed completely oblivious to my efforts. A rarity for me.
I wasn’t usually so awkward with the opposite sex. I was that guy who always knew what to say to get them eating out of my hand. And to get them in my bed.
Willa looked back down and her hair fell over her face again.
I wondered at the strange urge to push it behind her ear. Her hand, tipped with delicate looking fingers, smoothed the wayward strands back into place. It was an absentminded action, I could tell.
She began drawing in the corner of one page of her notebook. She seemed to forget I was in the room with her.
Another rarity for me. I never had to work this hard to keep a girl’s attention on me before.
I didn’t think too hard on why I wanted her attention on me.
“So,” I said, trying something different. I leaned a little closer to her and let the teasing tone fall out of my voice in favor of a more straightforward one. “Why Biology?”
“Huh?” Willa asked, looking up at me, confirming my suspicion that my presence wasn’t affecting her in the least.
Her grey eyes shone from behind her glasses and I couldn’t believe I had never noticed her before.
“Why did you choose Biology for your major?” I tried again.
Willa shrugged and looked back down at her notebook.
She clearly wasn’t interested in having a conversation with me. I watched her for a few seconds, waiting for her to speak, but she didn’t. She doodled in her notebook, completely unaware that I was still sitting beside her.
“I’m glad we got here early,” I said as more students starting filing in. I waved and high-fived a few of the guys I knew from high school. “We wouldn’t have this lab table if we were late.”
“True,” Willa nodded. “I would hate to sit in the back.”
“Didn’t you say you always sat in the back in high school?” I asked
“I did,” Willa said. “But this is college. It’s different, so I have to be different.”
That was all the explanation she gave. She put down her pen when the professor walked in, her full attention focused on him instantly.
I admired her focus, but I was daunted by her lack of interest in me. Willa sat down beside me immediately, but after fifteen minutes of flirting – if my fumbling attempt could be called that - she barely glanced in my direction. I guess I wasn’t her type. Damn.
The professor launched into the syllabus quickly. His teaching assistant handed them around while he explained each section briefly.
“I’m a stickler for punctuality,” he warned. “So, if you’re late to class, don’t bother showing up at all. I won’t let you in. And remember, all assignments are due on the date the syllabus states. If you’re worried, then have them completed a few days ahead of time. That way, if an emergency arises, you already have the work done.”
I listened with raised eyebrows. Was he serious? He wouldn’t allow late assignments?
I exhaled slowly and glanced at Willa to see what she thought. She stared at the professor with wide eyes and scribbled down notes while he spoke. She meant what she said, she was going to take this class seriously.
I knew if I was going to be successful in my pre-med classes I had to get my act together. Shameless flirting and letting myself get distracted during class wouldn’t get me into med school. This professor meant business, but so did I. I wasn’t going to let my perfect academic record slip through my fingers just when it was finally beginning to mean something.
Being a doctor was my dream. There was no other option for me. I would ace my premed classes and get into a great medical school.
As I listened to the professor finish explaining the syllabus, I made a vow to myself that I would really try. I would put aside my attraction for Willa and focus during every single class.
With a determined nod that only I noticed, I pulled out my own notebook and grabbed a pen from my backpack. The professor was about to start the real lesson of the day and I didn’t want to miss a single word.
By the end of the hour, I had two pieces of paper completely filled with notes. He spoke fast and my hand ached, but in a good way.
When we were dismissed, I packed up my stuff slowly and glanced over at Willa. She tossed her notebook into her bag and put the top back on her pen. She still hadn’t looked at me since before class.
Despite my internal promise to remain focused, I couldn’t help but think about Willa throughout the lesson. I did my best to put her out of my mind but when the air conditioning kicked on and blew the scent of Willa’s perfume my way I knew I was a goner. She smelled amazing and the way the cool air rustled her shoulder length hair made my whole body tense. My bear was interested, I was in trouble.
She was beautiful.
I really couldn’t believe I hadn’t noticed her before.
“That was a good first class,” I said lamely.
I smiled at Willa when she looked at me.
She just nodded and smiled back politely.
“Yeah,” she said. “I thought it was interesting.”
Willa stood up and made her way toward the door. I hurried after her, falling in step beside her when we reached the hallway.
“So,” I said. “I was thinking that since we’re already sitting together, we could be study partners. I have a feeling this class is going to be a killer so we’ll both need the extra help.”
Willa looked at me for a second before she looked away again. It seemed like she was thinking about my offer.
I couldn’t tell if I had insulted her by implying she might need help, but it was the truth. That professor wasn’t fucking around. It would be easier on both of us if we had someone around to help us study.
Plus, I just wanted an excuse to see her outside of class. I knew I wasn’t going to get anywhere in the confines of that lab.
“Sure,” Willa said with a shrug. “Whatever.”
With that, she hurried off to her next class. I watched her disappear with a smile.
She wasn’t interested in me yet, but by the end of the semester, she would be.
***
I sat on my mom’s porch holding my acceptance letter and remembering that day.
The first time I saw Willa seemed so insignificant at the time. She was just a cute girl in my biology class. I was attracted to her and determined to get to know her better.
At that point, I had never met a girl who didn’t want to date me. Willa threw me completely off my game and I liked her more for it.
That entire semester flew by in a blur. Willa and I studied together almost every day and we both ended up acing that stupid Bio 101 class. We set the curve on almost every test. We slowly became friends and when the final grades came out, I suggested we go out to celebrate. That was the night things shifted between us.
I had always wanted more with Willa, but that was the night she finally saw something worthwhile in me.
I smiled to myself as the memory washed over me. It had been years since I had last seen Willa, but I could still picture her face clearly in my mind. I was sure she was just a
s beautiful as ever.
Sitting there, holding my future in my hands, I wondered what she was doing. I imagined what her life was like now. Did she look the same? Where had her life taken her? Was she still in Mountain Creek? Had she moved somewhere far away? Was her life everything she always wished it would be?
Did she still think of me like I still thought of her?
Three
Willa
“Liam!” I yelled. “Hurry up, sweetie! Mommy’s going to be late!”
I ran around my apartment, grabbing my things and quickly throwing Liam’s backpack together.
He was moving slower than ever that morning and I knew I was going to be late for class. It was my first day of medical school and I couldn’t afford to miss a thing.
When Liam’s backpack was packed, I grabbed his lunch from the fridge and threw it inside. I zipped up the backpack and ran to Liam’s room.
Liam was sitting on his bed with his shoes on his feet. He had one foot tucked underneath him and the other poised on the ground. He held the shoelaces in his hands, trying desperately to tie them properly. I smiled and sunk to my knees.
“Here,” I said. “Let me help you.”
“No!” Liam said, jerking his foot away from me. “I can do it!”
His face was set in the stubborn lines I was encountering more and more frequently lately.
I swallowed a sigh.
“Honey,” I said patiently. “Mommy can’t be late for class today, okay? We have to go. You can tie your shoes tomorrow.”
“But…” he began, but I cut him off with a look. That look was more powerful than any of the protests he could throw my way. He knew that look meant I wasn’t having any of it.
He settled down with a pout.
I grabbed his foot and gently pulled it to me. I tied his shoe and then grabbed the other foot. When he was finally ready to go, he jumped to his feet and I wrapped his backpack around his shoulders.
“Come on,” I said. We hurried into the living room and I picked up my bag. With Liam’s hand in mine, we ran outside to the parking lot.
I buckled Liam in his car seat and jumped inside. Firing up the engine, I threw the car in reverse and sped out of my parking spot.
When I finally reached the highway, I checked the clock and groaned. I only had twenty minutes to get to class and I still had to drop Liam off at the campus daycare.
It was only my first day and I was already off to a horrible start.
We reached campus and I pulled up to the daycare. I jumped out and grabbed Liam from the backseat. I grunted as I picked him up but didn’t stop.
He protested while I carried him inside, but I only had five minutes to get to class and I didn’t have time for him to walk.
“Have a great day,” I said, a little breathless from the walk-run action I just did.
I kissed Liam’s forehead and pushed him toward the classroom. He waved at me and disappeared inside.
I didn’t waste another minute. I flew back outside and hurried toward my car.
Speeding across campus, I pulled up to the science building right as class began. I hated being late, but I couldn’t miss class. When I reached the classroom, I peered through the window and saw that the professor had already started the lesson. I groaned and closed my eyes. Interrupting class wasn’t the way to make a good first impression.
With a deep breath, I pushed open the door slowly. I tried to make as little noise as possible. I stepped inside and pulled the door softly closed behind me. The click was still loud, but only a few people turned around.
I hurried to the first empty seat I could find. It was in the back row, but I didn’t care. I was just glad I made it before class ended.
Someone in my row handed me a syllabus and I mouthed a silent “thank you.” She nodded and turned her attention back to the front of the room. I read through the syllabus at lightning speed. It all seemed pretty standard, nothing out of the ordinary. Once I was sure I understood, I tucked it in my bag and pulled out my notebook. With my pen in hand, I focused on the professor.
In reality, I probably didn’t miss anything important. By the time I started taking notes, the professor had only just begun the lesson. Still, I felt like a failure already.
Here I was on my first day of medical school at UConn and I was already behind. I shook my head to myself and scribbled furiously.
The students on either side of me took notes quickly as well. I looked around and smiled.
Everyone in the room was intensely focused on the professor’s words. This was the kind of classroom I wanted to be a part of. There were only about twenty students, but we were all there for the same reason: to become doctors. Our goal wasn’t just to get a degree and then forget everything we learned. We wanted to help people, to save lives. Everything we learned now would help us for the rest of our careers.
Now that I had arrived and class was underway, I let myself relax and enjoy the moment.
While I continued to take notes, I grinned widely. I couldn’t believe I was here. I made it to medical school. It took me years, but I did it.
I felt a wave of pride wash over me and my smile grew. If anyone looked at me, they would have thought I was crazy, but they didn’t know everything I went through to get to that moment.
After spending four years raising a son, I never imagined I would have the chance to study medicine. I put my dreams on hold and focused solely on Liam for so long that I almost forgot I was a real person.
My name was “Mom” and my job description was everything that went along with that name. Who cared that I once had dreams of my own? It didn’t matter anymore, not when my son needed new clothes or food to eat.
For four years, I worked nonstop to support Liam. I did the best I could, but I let myself go in the process. It had been years since I so much as cracked open a book. When my brother suggested I go back to school, I thought he was insane.
“I don’t have time,” I had told him.
There were too many things for me to juggle as it was being a single mom.
What would I do with Liam? How could I be both a full-time mom and a med student?
To me, the answer was simple: I couldn’t.
My brother didn’t let up though. When James got an idea in his mind, he ran with it. For months, he pressured me into applying. When I finally did, I never thought I would be accepted. I only sent in the application to shut James up.
Getting my acceptance letter felt like a dream. It felt like I was living someone else’s life. Even with the piece of paper in my hands, I couldn’t believe it was happening. I still wasn’t sure I could go.
After countless conversations with James, I decided to try.
We celebrated Liam’s fourth birthday and a week later, here I was, in my first class of medical school.
I was still grinning like an idiot when I turned over the first page of my notebook. I wished I had a computer to take notes on, I could already tell that my hand was going to be exhausted by the end of class. I stretched my hand and continued writing.
As the professor spoke, my mind had less chances to drift. The content became more complicated and I didn’t want to miss a single word. I made a mental note to bring a recorder to my all my classes this year. These lessons were too important, I couldn’t risk making a mistake.
I had sacrificed so much to just be in medical school. It was Liam’s last year before he started kindergarten and I had been looking forward to spending time with him. Now, I would see him less and less. This year would fly by and he would be in school in no time. The idea brought tears to my eyes, but I knew I was doing the right thing.
Liam deserved a mom who chased her dreams. Not one who sat around and lived a mediocre life. I had to teach him how to fight for things. I had to show what was truly important in life.
So far, I thought I had done a good job raising him. He was a sweet, polite little boy. All his daycare teachers loved him. His uncle James was his best friend and my f
riends adored him.
Still, I wanted more for him than a cramped one-bedroom apartment. I wanted to give him everything.
As class continued, I glanced around the room again. I couldn’t stare at my notebook any longer. My eyes were beginning to water. I squeezed them closed and looked around me. It was a short break, but it was long enough to take in the faces of my fellow students. There were so few of us that I knew I would learn everyone’s name by the end of the month. We would be in all the same classes and labs. Our clinical would be together. At the end of these four years, I imagined we would all be like family.
When my eyes fell on a familiar face, I almost fell out of my chair.
I felt my body go weak and my heart begin to race. I blinked hard, sure I was seeing things. When I looked back at him, I knew I wasn’t mistaken.
It was Rowan.
Rowan Johnson was sitting three rows in front of me with his eyes locked on the professor. I could only see the side of his face, but it was enough. I would know him anywhere.
Rowan’s sandy blonde hair was shorter than I remembered. It no longer covered his face, but it was still long enough that he had to toss it out of his eyes every few minutes. The curve of his nose and the set of his chin looked so familiar it made my heart ache. The scratch on his face, from when he and another player changed on the football field and got into it. I remembered watching from the stands. It was why they always had a ref who could change too, settle the boys down once they weren’t boys anymore.
I couldn’t believe my eyes. Class was almost over, but I had completely lost where I was. My notes lay forgotten in front of me and I couldn’t hear a word the professor said.
My ears were ringing and my pulse was still picking up speed. Shit.
I watched Rowan closely, wondering why he was there. The last thing I knew about Rowan Johnson was that he was stationed overseas.
I didn’t even know he was back home. I wondered how long he had been back in Mountain Creek, if he was staying with his mom, if he was out of the military for good, and a thousand other things.