by J. Minter
Liesel groaned. “Oh, dahling, you’re not shallow. You just need better PR.”
Arno looked unsure of his footing for a minute, and then he put his hand on Liesel’s mini-butt and pulled her in for one last kiss.
“Come on,” she said, pushing him away, but just enough to make her point. “Let me do this for you. Like rehab your image for you. All this worrying over being shallow really is not worth your time.”
Arno shrugged. “I don’t know … ”
“Yes, you do,” Liesel said, fixing him in her gaze. She knew that when their eyes met it had all the weight of fate, so she wasn’t surprised at all when Arno gave her a little shrug of acquiescence.
“Okay,” he said. “Let’s see what you can do.”
Liesel was laughing when she finally pulled him out of the closet and back toward her parents, who by now were probably sitting in the formal dining room and onto glasses of red wine. She didn’t even care if she and Arno did have to go on a triple date with their parents, she was just glad she didn’t have to hear Arno throwing around words like “shallow” and “deep” anymore.
“My parents are all excited to meet yours,” Liesel said as they headed down the hall, hand in hand. “You know, they want to talk art deals.”
“That’s so shallow,” Arno said.
“Okay, you know what?” Liesel said, clutching Arno’s hand and wheeling him back to face her. “If I am going to represent you, then I insist that you not use that word anymore.”
“But—”
Liesel leaned in, rested her forehead on Arno’s, and gave him the look again.
“Okay,” he said. “You’re the boss. Now, can we just get this whole dinner thing over with?”
“Yes,” Liesel said. “But one more thing? Those clothes. I’m going to have some samples sent to your place tomorrow, see if we can’t get you back to that stylish stud I used to know … ”
a little pr multitasking from our very own liesel reid
from: [email protected]
to: [email protected]
subject: RE: RE: Leland Brinker
Vink, you’re amazing. We love Leland, and I just think it’s perfect that he’s going to be at the Candy sweet sixteen. But now that I’ve seen how much you can deliver for me, I’m going to need to call in a favor. You remember Arno Wildenburger, who New York magazine named Hottest Private-School Boy this year? He ended up looking sort of callow in that whole thing, and I’m going to be doing a little work on him image-wise. So I know you represent Eddie Turro of the Glories, and that they’re playing shows at the Bowery Ballroom this week. Any chance we could get a nice little photo-op, with Arno and Eddie hanging backstage? It should look like they’re talking about poetry or song lyrics. Tell me you’re going to make it happen. Ciao, Lies
from: [email protected]
to: [email protected]
subject: you got it
… but this time you owe me big-time, Liesel. Turns out Eddie’s last album got panned by New York, so he’s down to help Arno in any way he can. He wants Arno to come hang pre-show, and perform a song with him onstage. Do you love me OR WHAT? Be prepared to reciprocate, and make sure this Arno guy knows the words to Eddie’s hit “Sally Seeking Solace.” He absolutely has to be there by eight, and make sure he looks good, all right? I’ll have the backstage pass delivered to DDR tomorrow. And tell DeeDee that she owes me lunch.
sent wirelessly via Blackberry
a message to flan’s eighth-grade class
from: [email protected]
to: undisclosed recipients
subject: Friday night at Candy
So by now you have all surely heard the buzz about this new hot club Candy, which is by and for people just like you—wild and crazy people who can’t and don’t care about getting into those tired old 21-and-over clubs!!! But you lucky people are on the list, because your friend Flan Flood is the big special sweet sixteen birthday girl of Candy’s opening night, and she insisted you be on it. So take advantage of it, bunnies! And tell all your friends. They can come for a mere $30. Well worth it, in my opinion, considering the star power (Leland Brinker! Shhhhh!). So spread the word, and be there in your finest.
Your friend, the princess of buzz,
Liesel Reid
even starlets have rocky love lives sometimes
SBB came home from a long day of shopping in which she had been photographed twice—that she knew of—and threw herself down on the Grobarts’ worn black leather couch. “I’m finished!” she screamed, and waited for David’s parents, Hilary and Sam, to come running into the living room from their respective offices.
It didn’t take them long. Hilary came rushing in and put her arms around SBB and said, “What’s wrong, dear heart?”
She was wearing a long belted cardigan and slacks, and she felt all sweatery and soft, just like SBB had always imagined a real mom would. “I couldn’t stop myself,” she said between sobs. “I had to go to Saks. And then as I was leaving I saw a paparazzi up on the mezzanine and he was shooting pictures of me.”
“No,” Hilary said. “No wonder you’re in such a state. That must have felt like a very real violation.”
“It did.” Sara-Beth hiccuped. She saw Sam Grobart appear in the doorway with a look of deep concern on his face. He took a step onto the old Persian rug and crossed his arms. She noticed that he was wearing one pair of glasses on his head and one on a chain around his neck. “But now Ric is going to fire me! Because I signed a piece of paper promising that I wouldn’t be photographed going out until after the movie was shot and now they’re going to tell me I can’t do the movie and then my career will be over and … and… they tricked me!”
“That’s absurd,” Sam said. “You’re going to be a big star. You’re not disposable. There’s only one of you in the whole world. I’m sure they will understand.”
“That’s right,” Hilary said.
“But how do you know that?” SBB wailed.
“Because I know you,” Hilary said, taking SBB’s small face between her hands and giving her a serious look.
SBB sniffled, and then she batted her eyes and let a smile break out on her face. “You really think they’re still going to let me be a star?”
“Of course they are,” Sam said. “I’ll put in a call myself, and explain that you were merely researching the role.”
“That’s true,” SBB said, realizing that, in fact, she had been researching a role. Several times she had imagined stealing things from the racks at Saks, and her character in the new movie was a former Soviet assassin. SBB looked around the living room, which felt very green and peaceful because of all the house plants the Grobarts kept, and realized that going to Saks and thinking about shoplifting had been crucial to her developing understanding of the criminal mind.
“You have to start thinking of this as a positive change in your life,” Hilary said, nodding along with herself. “Although we know that change is always painful.”
“Yes, this is a serious role, and your ability to land a serious role should give you incredible confidence,” Sam put in. “Though it also means giving up the comfort of your old role, your old… persona, if you will.”
“And what this is really about is you, learning about yourself, what you’re capable of…,” Hilary said, gesturing, her voice rolling as gentle as honey. SBB could feel her spirits rising along with Hilary’s and Sam’s tones.
“About you shining. Because, believe it or not, being a star and having a healthy psyche are not mutually exclusive.”
“That’s right. So all this anxiety about what it means to be in New York before you go on this trip of artistic realization, we just need to banish it. Tell it poof, be gone.” Hilary’s eyes glistened as she gave SBB a long, hopeful look. SBB had seen that look before, and she basically walked around craving it all the time. “Whatever needs to happen for you to be okay before Gdańsk, we’ll make sure that happens.”
SBB beamed up at the Grobart
s, who were like her adoptive parents and personal gurus rolled into one person. Two people, whatever. She felt like the whole apartment, with its comfortable chairs and exotic wall hangings, was giving her a hug. “Thank you, guys,” SBB said, wiping the last bit of moisture from her left eye.
That was when David walked through the door. He was holding a basketball under one arm, and his face was all exercised looking, and he had that adorable look of doofy confusion on his face that he always got when he came home to the happy surprise of the whole family together. His full lips hung open. SBB rushed over, wrapped her slender arms around his middle, and kissed him on the chest. “Guess what?”
“What?” David said.
“We’re going to Europe early!”
“Wait—huh?” Hilary said.
SBB turned and smiled at Hilary. “I just think that’s the best way to do away with the anxiety of being in New York—to leave New York this instant. Just drive to the airport right now and take off! Besides, they just get me in Europe.” Sara-Beth turned to David and clapped excitedly. “Isn’t this great?”
David looked like he had been hypnotized. He stood there, in his sweat-stained T-shirt and basketball shorts, and said nothing for a long moment. Then the basketball fell to the floor. He didn’t seem to notice it, and after another long silence, he said, very slowly, “I… don’t… know… if… I… want to.”
“What?!” Hilary and SBB said at once.
“Kiddo, what are you talking about?” Sam said.
“David, this is a tremendous opportunity,” Hilary said. “For you, too. How many kids can put ‘role in Ric Rodrickson flick’ on their college apps?”
“Do you mean you don’t want to go to Europe tonight?” SBB said, her voice rising to an anxious pitch. She really couldn’t even deal with this right now. “Or do you mean you don’t want to go… at all?”
“Everybody, everybody,” Sam said, waving his hands, “we all need to calm down. I’m calling an emergency family therapy session. Now.” They all went dutifully to the couches and sat down. “Does anyone need anything? Water? Coffee? No? Okay. David, you’ve clearly upset Sara-Beth. Would you like an opportunity to explain yourself?”
David closed his eyes and scratched the bare skin behind his ear. “I’m sorry,” he said slowly, “I didn’t mean to upset you.”
“That’s okay,” SBB whispered. “It’s just that I don’t know why you wouldn’t want to go to Gdańsk with me.”
“It’s not that I don’t want to go to Gdańsk with you. I just… ” David looked up at his parents helplessly, like he was searching for an answer. They gave him hard stares. “Look, I just want to be a normal guy. I’m not sure running off to Gdańsk is me, you know what I mean?”
SBB threw her face into her hands and whimpered. Hilary rubbed Sara-Beth’s back and removed the pencil that had been holding up her pile of dark curls. She pointed it at David and said, “No, mister, I don’t think I do know what you mean.”
“Um.” David shook his head, like he was trying to shake off a bad prophecy. “Okay, here’s an example. There’s this party on Friday night that I wouldn’t be able to go to if I went to Gdańsk. I mean, if I went early, like you’re saying.”
“What party could possibly be more important than my first serious job as a real actress?” SBB gasped, turning toward Sam and Hilary for support. “Do you not believe in me?”
“She has a point,” Sam said.
“Well, I mean it’s just an example. And of course I believe in you! But I think Flan is expecting you to go to this party, too. Her sweet sixteen? Remember, this Friday?”
“Oh… right,” SBB said, her features coming together unpleasantly. She looked like another tantrum was hovering, but after a moment she threw up her hands and said, “Okay, I guess it’s not the best idea to fly to Europe tonight.”
Sam made a show of sniffing the air. “Is that sweet compromise I smell?” he said.
“Dad,” David said sharply. He couldn’t even bring himself to look at his father after that joke.
“Yeah,” said SBB, “it’s fine. We can go on Saturday, just like before. I’m sorry, David, that I made such a big scene about my little anxieties.”
“Awww…,” Hilary said. She clasped her hands together and pressed them against her cheek. “So, we’re all okay, then? And David, I want to say that we totally support your desire for … normalness.”
“That’s right,” Sam said.
“Oh, me too!” Sara-Beth said. “David, not only do I support your normal side, I love you for it. Now come on, I want to see if this suit I bought you for Gdańsk fits.” Sara-Beth slapped her forehead. “Silly me! I mean, if this suit I bought you for Flan’s party fits.”
sbb is only good with her own secrets
“Hey, it’s Flan, I miss you already, so leave me a message!”
“Flan! It’s Sara-Beth. Guess what. Liesel just called me and she said that she got Leland Brinker for Friday night. Leland’s coming to your party! Are you psyched or what? Kiss!”
“Hey, it’s Flan, I miss you already, so leave me a message!”
“Flan, it’s Liesel. I hear Sara-Beth spilled the beans on a very special indie star who will be attending your party, but oh well. It’s still exciting. Listen, would you call me when you can? We’ve got some details to iron out, cutie-pie. Ciao, ciao.”
liv tries to be sly
Liv had taken to always wearing sunglasses, even indoors, just like her new pal Sara-Beth Benny. She was wearing them now as she strode through the aisles of Bloomingdale’s, and it was actually really helping her do what she was trying to do. Which was pretend to look at clothes in the BCBG section for potential Friday night outfits, while in fact keeping an eye on Flan.
Because Flan was not only her best friend from elementary school, but also the little sister of Liv’s secret lover, Patch. If Flan found out that Liv had kissed Patch’s friend David, then her whole golden couple dream would be out the window like that.
So Liv watched as Flan had yet another phone conversation with Liesel about the big birthday bash, and tried to listen in. She was listening to hear any hint that maybe Flan knew more than she was letting on about the whole kissing David accident, or whether she knew any little thing about Patch’s plan to take things slow. After all, was it really possible that Patch had confessed nothing of these momentous events to his little sister, that he had asked her for no advice? She seemed so clueless about the whole Liv and Patch thing in general that it was hard to know what was an act and what wasn’t.
Flan flipped her phone shut and came bounding back over toward Liv. “One word,” she said, pulling her hair up to ponytail height and opening her blue eyes wide. “Elephants.”
Liv scrunched her nose. “Elephants? Isn’t that sort of… inhumane?”
Flan rolled her eyes and let her hair fall down. “Noooo. It’s a baby elephant. The most spoiled baby elephant in all the world, probably. And Liesel said DeeDee Rakoff is paying an arm and a leg, so I’m sure it’s well taken care of.”
“DeeDee Rakoff is paying for it?”
“Well the firm, whatever… ” Flan shrugged. “Anyway, did you find anything?”
“Not really,” Liv said, pushing her sunglasses up her nose and taking a long strand of artificially sun-touched hair and twirling it. “But I’m sure the dress for you is here. Somewhere.”
“It’s gotta be,” Flan said, exhaling and then wondering how to bring up her Jonathan suspicions. They both started moving down the aisle, pushing hangers back rapid-fire. After a few minutes without finding anything, Flan looked up, fixed Liv in her stare, and said, “So, I talked to Jonathan yesterday night … ”
“Oh, goodie,” Liv said without thinking. She paused to look at a turquoise dress with a belted waist. Then she thought of something. “Wait, he called to talk to you, right?”
Liv looked up, and she and Flan appraised each other awkwardly. Flan took a breath and then said, “No, actually. He was looking for y
ou. I was supposed to tell you last night, but I guess I forgot somehow. Maybe ’cuz it seemed so… strange.”
“Well, what did he say he wanted?” Liv’s mind was racing with all the things Jonathan and she might have discussed, who they might have told, and what the consequences of all these combinations were.
“He didn’t,” Flan said sharply. They advanced down the row of dresses.
“Huh, that’s funny…” Liv studied Flan’s face, which didn’t look like it could conceal anything, and then decided that Jonathan really hadn’t told her anything unusual. She nodded in agreement with herself. “You know what I bet? I bet he wanted to talk to you, and then when he heard your voice he got all bashful-like and then he made up something about wanting to talk to me.”
“You think?” Flan looked dubious, but she didn’t look suspicious anymore, which was good.
“Definitely. I’ve never talked to Jonathan in my life. What else could it be?”
“Maybe…,” Flan said, narrowing her eyes like she was trying to see a kernel of truth out on the horizon. Liv didn’t seem to be involved with Jonathan, but then she certainly seemed to be trying to throw Flan off some trail. That whole bashful thing was total and utter BS.
Liv twisted her hair and moved forward. “So… Jonathan didn’t say anything about David?”
“David?!” Flan almost jumped, so surprised was she to hear his name in this conversation. He was the only one of her brother’s friends who had a real girlfriend, not to mention a girlfriend who was in a whole different league. She wondered if David could possibly be the older guy in question, and then decided there was just no way. “No … Why in the world would he mention David?”
Flan watched Liv smile broadly, and knew immediately that she was concealing something. And it pretty much had to have something to do with Jonathan.