“If you don’t mind me interrupting,” Ismay began, “I would advise that everyone who can find a lifeboat seat should take one whilst they have the opportunity.” Ismay said, his voice raspy and hoarse. Eliana wondered if he was used to rigorous exercise; he must have been helping more passengers than she had witnessed. She’d noticed him fretting, and even when he’d been scolded – rather harshly, Eliana noted, though she doubted it was the young, handsome officer’s fault – he’d continued helping. He’d moved further down, assisting a different officer, one Eliana found to be decidedly unpleasant. He wasn’t handsome as the young officer had been, and he had seemingly no interest helping any of the men, including young boys. Eliana had felt her heart tug more than once as she watched as families were separated, with fathers making tearful goodbyes, making note of the lifeboat their wives and children had entered, so they could find them again later.
“Mr Ismay has a valid point,” Albert shouted, and Eliana could tell he liked the idea he’d be able to tell people of his conversation with Bruce Ismay in the morning. Even Eliana found it distasteful how much her father enjoyed name-dropping. Name-dropping was something vulgar, something that the Americans would do. Eliana had noticed how many Americans seemed familiar with each other; yet they also appeared readily easy to gossip behind each other’s backs. Americans did not seem to understand the terms of fealty, Eliana noted.
Though, if she were fair and true, neither did her father.
“Please, I would be ever so grateful if you would all get in,” Ismay murmured, and one of the officers shot him a glare. “Women and children first, of course,” Ismay added, though Eliana could hear the reluctance in his voice. She couldn’t deny the idiocy of refusing to allow men to board, when so many were willing, and so many women were unwilling. Plus, one of the other gentlemen was angry about children boarding, which was dastardly and cruel. Yes, Eliana mused, she would definitely write a strongly worded letter. The Vanderbilts likely had a connection with the New York Times, which she’d heard was reputable.
“Do you really think it’s necessary, Mr Ismay?” Eleonora asked him breathlessly. Eliana noticed her mother’s eyes were a darker blue than usual, and her pupils dilated; she had observed that her mother had talked a lot of Ismay throughout the voyage, but she was behaving like a child with a schoolgirl crush. Her cheeks were lightly flushed, despite the fact that they’d mostly been a pale, ashen colour as she worried where Cecilia was. “Wouldn’t it be better to stay here, in the safety of the ship? We can barely see many of the lifeboats already, it’s so terribly dark.”
Ismay’s brown eyes studied Eleonora’s beautiful face for a moment; Eliana tried to catch what he wasn’t saying. If she didn’t know better, she would think it was attraction – not a first for her mother – but she knew it wasn’t. She knew when a man had yearning in his eyes, and whatever Ismay was feeling, it wasn’t a desire for her mother. “I do, Lady Gresham. I believe it’s imperative that we all treat this as if the ship might, for a terrifying moment, sink. I believe it’s vital we fill every lifeboat as much as possible, do you not agree? It’s for us to set a standard and make the process so much simpler and easier as we board the other classes, then the crew.” Eliana noticed that Ismay’s smile did not quite reach his kind brown eyes; she wondered how many times he’d repeated the same speech tonight.
Why is he so rehearsed? she wondered. Surely he doesn’t think any harm could come to his ship? Technology had moved civilisation into an age where death could be defied. An iceberg would not harm a ship that was as tall as any building man had made.
“Oh, yes, I do agree,” Eleonora added, appearing calmed by Ismay’s presence. “Eliana, you and the children in first. As well with you, Georgiana. I will join you shortly; I must find Cecilia. I cannot board until I know she’s safe with me, but I will not have you staying behind. You heard what Mr Ismay said.”
“Mama, no!” cried Eliana, for the first time afraid. “I need you.” Panic filled Eliana’s lungs as she tried to catch her breath, but the icy air froze her chest, causing her to cough and hack. George put his arm around her, and Eliana gazed up into his eyes. Despite the pain and hurt Eliana had caused George, he was always by her side, no matter.
That was who George was. Eliana bit her lip, looking away; she didn’t deserve George’s kindness, nor his forgiveness. Eliana reconciled with God that, by morning, she would plead with George, saying she was a darn fool, and that George was the only man she’d ever loved, and the only man she would ever be able to love. Once George understood how much he meant to Eliana, she would explain that she had not meant to hurt him; just that there were certain expectations of people within her class, and it bothered her that Georgie and Celia hadn’t always abided by them. She loathed that her younger sisters seemed to earn a free pass, regardless of their behaviour, when she never had.
“I know, dearest, but I fear for Cecilia’s safety. We shan’t be parted long, and you’ll have Georgie by your side.”
“She’s likely nearby, and you know it! She might already have boarded a lifeboat, for all we know! Mama, please.”
Eleonora shook her head, her lips pulled tight. “Georgiana is perfectly able to assist you with the little ones, and Nanny and the maids are with you, as well. Nanny has extra blankets. It will be fine. Wilson will care for you all, won’t you, Wilson?” Eliana noticed that Wilson’s face was paler that usual, though she bore a look of irritation, not one of fear.
“I do think, Lady Eleonora, that it would be best if you all boarded,” Ismay interrupted, his voice once again soothing her mother. Eliana narrowed her eyes; she didn’t care for the way her mother responded to Ismay, especially when her father was present. Had everyone in her family lost their minds? And why wasn’t her father objecting? He’d been behaving peculiarly since his conversation, almost an hour passed, with Mr Andrews. At the time, Albert had reassured his family that the situation was under control, and that they’d best board the lifeboats while the situation was sorted.
Eliana knew that was true; but what had Andrews said to her father to pacify him so? He was behaving as if his soul had left his body, and only a human shell of a former man now existed. If the night wasn’t already so bizarre, with shouts and screams, an officer brandishing a pistol, and the flares lighting up the night sky, Eliana would be pleased that another man managed to put her father in place for possibly the first time in his life.
Tonight, however, Eliana wished everything could be just as it needed to be. Anxiety squeezed at her heart; she could not, and would not, leave her children alone on a ship that had a large list, that was beginning to appear as if it would roll over.
“Mama, please, I need you. I’m with child. I need you.”
Eleonora’s voice caught, producing a gurgling sound, and Eliana knew she’d convinced her mother. Eliana did not know why she deemed it necessary to have her mother by her side, but it was. She did not think she could face the open ocean without her mother’s hand by her side. For a moment, Eliana looked up at the stars – they were shining more brightly than she’d ever seen – to give her a moment to compose, blinking back warm teas. She watched as another distress rocket fired into the air, white sparks glistening down the Titanic’s hull.
“Okay,” Eleonora relented. “Albert, Celia –”
“I will stay, Mama,” Georgiana interrupted. “I’ll search for Cecilia; we’ll board a boat together. It will not take us very long, and Eliana is in a delicate state. She needs you. We shan’t be long, I promise you.”
Eleonora looked into Georgiana’s eyes, grabbing her daughter’s hands. Eliana wondered why everyone was making such a big deal about finding Celia. It wasn’t as if any harm would come to her. Why did her mother need to stay? Or Georgie? “Promise me you won’t leave the ship until you find your sister.”
“No!” cried William. “Georgie needs to get into a lifeboat! It’s not safe for her to stay. Lady Gresham, please don’t ask this of my wife.”
&
nbsp; “Eleonora, I beg of you, heed William. Do not make Georgiana keep this promise. Georgie, as your father, I forbid you to search for Celia.”
“I promise, Mama,” Georgiana swore, ignoring her husband and Albert.
“I don’t think that’s wise,” Mr Ismay interrupted. Eliana wondered if he was secretly American; he seemed to like putting his nose where it did not belong. No wonder the handsome young officer had yelled at him so; he was positively irksome. “I think it’s best if you all take a seat now – surely your husbands can find the other girl?” He looked pleadingly between the men.
“I agree with Mr Ismay,” William said, grasping Georgiana’s hands tightly. “Please, Georgie. Rescind your mother’s promise, and take mine: Please, get in the lifeboat.”
“You certainly will rescind your promise. Stop with this nonsense, Georgiana,” Albert snapped. “For once in William’s life, he’s right. Eleonora, do not ask Georgiana to stay behind. William, George and I shall search for her. In any case, it’s likely Eliana’s right, and she may have even already boarded a vessel herself. Plenty of lifeboats have left; we have no way of being sure if she’s already boarded one.”
Eliana watched the discussion between her family, before realising that her sister’s hands were likely frozen. She hadn’t brought gloves with her, and Eliana wondered what her sister’s fingers most feel like. Georgiana kept wringing her hands, rubbing them together, and occasionally blowing on them. Despite Eliana’s thick leather gloves, she could scarcely feel her fingers. She was glad she’d ordered Nanny to bring extra blankets – which were now wrapped around Master Albert and her little Primrose, who were huddled together, befuddled looks plastered upon their faces. “Georgie, my love, you know how much I love you, don’t you?” Georgiana nodded, latching onto her husband. Eliana envied how free her sister behaved; she wished she could be the same, instead of cold and reserved, around George. “When we said our vows, I knew you’d never obey me. I never expected you to. How could I? It’s not who you are. I would be destroying your very soul if I tried to do such a thing. You know that, right?” Georgiana nodded, tears silently streaming down her face. “I’m asking you now, Georgie, this one time, to obey me. Please, my darling, get in the lifeboat. I’ll search for Celia. I swear, I will find her, and force her to board if it’s the last thing I do. But I need you to get into the lifeboat.”
“We need to lower the lifeboat! Any women and children that want to board, must do so now!” the officer shouted. Eliana could tell by the man’s gruff tone he was sick of the drawn-out goodbyes. Perhaps he felt them silly; after all, it wasn’t goodbye. They’d all see each other soon. Hopefully before dawn, Eliana thought.
Eliana helped the Nanny and the maids take Primrose and Master Albert. Her stomach lurched at the gap between the lifeboat and the ship. It would be almost too easy to fall through the difference to the ocean below; it was nearly a metre-wide gap. Eliana, with the help of Mr Ismay (at least he had some gentlemanly qualities; the officers, when grabbing women, were often rough, lifting them in the air and all but throwing them into the small wooden boat), climbed into the Lifeboat 13. She felt uneasy immediately; it was if she’d stepped off of solid land onto something light and unfamiliar. The raft swayed lightly in the davits, as if it threatened to drop. Eliana’s stomach lurched; she did not care for the creaking.
“Georgie, please, promise me,” Eleonora sobbed. “I want to know the pair of you are safe. Together.”
“Mama, please –”
“Georgie, please get in the lifeboat. Be with your mother and sister. I will find Celia; I swear to you.”
“Eleonora, I’m begging of you, do not ask this of Georgiana.”
“Mama –”
As Eleonora was half moving toward the lifeboat, the officer grabbed her, placing her in the raft, before she could raise an objection.
“Anyone else?”
George moved forward quickly, though the officer denied him, and for the first time, Eliana didn’t feel George’s behaviour was cowardly. She realised, more than anything, she wanted George by her side, just as much as she wanted her mother. George was her entire world, and her world often ceased to function without him. Eliana glared at the officer, but he was looking at Georgiana, who was the only other woman present in the near vicinity. Many of the first-class passengers hadn’t left the lounge or gymnasium yet – wise, as a ship would arrive to save them before any real harm could come to the Titanic. Georgiana was focused on William, and waved the officer off, ignoring him.
“William, I –” Eliana heard her sister begin, but she was interrupted.
“Lower away!” he called to the other officers, annoyed by Georgiana’s ambivalence.
“Wait!” William cried. “Georgiana – She hasn’t boarded yet!”
But the lifeboat was already moving jerkily to the bottom of the ocean floor, leaving Georgiana behind.
Chapter Forty-Two
Monday, April 15th, 1912
Hazel
Several of the Gresham servants, including Nellie, had already boarded the lifeboats. They’d been sent first, with a lot of the Gresham’s family money and jewels “for safekeeping”. Hazel didn’t understand; no one in the entire party believed the ship was sinking, and there was nothing she could conjure that would sink a liner. She didn’t know why anyone would think that such a ship would sink, even if she could feel the tilt on the boat deck. Hazel knew that the White Star Line’s service was impeccable. She’d heard Albert repeatedly boast of the fact that only two lives had been lost in several years, and he thought them to be crew or steerage (similar in Albert’s mind, unless the crewman happened to be an officer or the Captain). He’d spoken fondly of how Jack Binns had saved everyone on the Republic; the Marconi operating system had been able to call to nearby vessels, with all the passengers able to transfer safely. And, she’d heard Albert say, that had been in 1909; three years had passed since then, and the Titanic’s Marconi system was even superior to her sister ship’s.
Hazel was also aware this was information Albert had only learned once boarding the Titanic – likely over a dinner conversation where he found himself with the ship’s Captain or someone of his ilk. Though Albert would likely believe anyone after enough brandies and cigars; for a man so punctilious, he sure was gullible.
Hazel, however, was to accompany Lady Eleonora and Lady Eliana, who were preparing to board a lifeboat. They hadn’t found Lady Cecilia yet; she wondered why Lady Cecilia’s family were so obtuse. Did they not really consider than she had run off, to be with Mr Henry Hamilton? Albert looked pale, however, and was kinder than usual, leaving Hazel with a wretched feeling in her gut. Albert wasn’t a man known for kindness, and in her years as a servant for the Greshams, something she seldom witnessed. She knew he’d spoken with both Mr Ismay and Mr Andrews at some point, and she wasn’t sure if the conversation he had was satisfactory. Perhaps Mr Ismay had informed him that the damages would cause a significant delay, making their planned arrival in New York on Wednesday impossible. If Albert had to force Lady Cecilia to remain a prisoner in her own room for longer than a few more nights, he might be worried that she would truly defy him. Hazel knew that he firmly believed that once docked, and after Lady Cecilia became acquainted with the Vanderbilt boy, she would return the lad’s affections. She wondered if Albert understood anything about love; for all Hazel knew, the boy didn’t care for Lady Cecilia. Though, she had heard through Her Lady that the boy, Thomas, had bought a puppy for the Gresham family’s arrival. Apparently, Lady Cecilia had written him, speaking of her unhappiness, and Thomas has resolved to ensure that her arrival in New York was pleasant in every possible way.
She couldn’t deny there was sincerity behind the boy’s purchase. Too often had Hazel watched as Albert bought Her Lady furs and jewels whenever he had misbehaved, or raised a voice or hand to her, which she pretended to love, but Hazel, being Her Lady’s maid, knew differently. She knew Her Lady craved affection and missed being desired.<
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Hazel watched as Mr Ismay helped several of the passengers into their seats. He worked with a desperate fever, as if wanted the lifeboats filled as much as possible; yet the officers did not appear to share his concern, frequently turning away passengers, even when no one else was around. The officers kept talking about fearing “over-loading” the small wooden vessels, and Mr Ismay looked on helplessly as several of the lifeboats departed half-full, arguing that they had been tested, and he was going to find Mr Andrews to confirm.
It seemed wasteful, Hazel thought. Why couldn’t they stay in their rooms while the ship carried out its repairs? She’d seen more than one passenger declare that was what they were going to do. She imagined plenty of passengers still sleeping in their beds, having sensibly ignored the steward’s rousing call. Hazel only wished it could be the same for her.
“I don’t want to leave without Celia,” Lady Eleonora kept crying, though Hazel didn’t understand why she was so upset. It wasn’t as if she was never going to see her daughter again. The wealthy are prone to hysterics, even my Lady, thought Hazel. They flirted with drama; they welcomed it into their lives, while screaming they never had, just to have something to gossip about during one of their many dinners. Women weren’t oft given the opportunity to do much else; it wasn’t a surprise to her that they destroyed their lives in order to feel alive. The performance that was surrounding the Titanic’s maiden voyage would already grace tomorrow’s newspapers, and plenty of first-class passengers would rush their servants to the Chief Purser in the morning, ready to place their messages with them, where they would be delivered, via chute, to the Marconi room, regaling what they had seen and what they hadn’t.
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