by Wilder, L
“Yes! Can I light it?” he asked. “I’ll be real careful.”
“Yeah, you can light it, but we’ll need to get the charcoal set up first,” I told him as I started towards the back porch. Once we were outside, I handed him the large bag of charcoal and guided him over to the grill. “You’ll need to pour it out slow, so they don’t get away from you. Then, we’ve got to stack them up kinda like a pyramid.”
“I can do that,” he said proudly as he lifted the bag, pouring the charcoal out onto the grate. Once he emptied the bag, he reached in and started to organize each of the little squares, trying to create a perfect pyramid. It took some time, but I let him get it done the way he wanted before I handed him the barbeque lighter. He pushed the button several times before it finally lit, then he eased it down to the charcoal, smiling wide when the fire took hold. “I did it,” he said proudly.
“Yep. You did good, Bud.”
“Can I help you cook the burgers, too?” he asked, flicking his wrists at his sides as he lifted up on his tiptoes.
“Absolutely,” I smiled. When we walked back into the kitchen, Wren was leaning into the refrigerator looking for something to munch on, and Wyatt wasted no time letting her know what he’d been up to. “I got to light the grill, and Griff said I could help make the burgers!”
“That’s awesome. Do you need any help? I could make a salad,” she offered.
“We’ve got this,” I told her, kissing her lightly on the lips as I eased her to the side and closed the refrigerator. She placed her hands on her very round belly and gave me a small pout. “Let the men tend to their business.”
“Yeah, Mom. We’ve got this,” Wyatt mocked.
“Well, I’ll just leave my boys to it then,” she smiled and waddled towards the living room.
Wyatt followed me back out to the porch and listened intently as I showed him how to grill the burgers. While the meat sizzled under the heat of the fire, we both sat quietly in our rocking chairs lost in our own thoughts. I looked over to him and couldn’t believe how surreal it all felt. There was a time when I never would have dreamed that my life could turn out like this. I was scared to even imagine that I could have a family and a life that I actually enjoyed living. I’d spent so much time just trying to survive, never thinking that I would have people in my life that actually cared about me, much less a pregnant wife and a son that I adored. My life was good.
“I think they’re ready,” Wyatt said, pulling me from my thoughts.
“Let’s get them off then,” I told him and headed for the grill. Excitement rolled off him as he used the spatula to take the meat off all by himself. When he was done, he proudly took the tray of burgers and placed it on the table. Then, he raced over to the counter to get our drinks, while I brought the fries over. Once everything was set, he shouted, “Mom!! It’s ready!”
“Griffin, can you come here a minute,” she called.
I stuck my head into the living room and found her standing there with her hands cradling her stomach while she stared down at the floor. I took a step forward, quickly noticing the pool of water at her feet. “Wren? What’s going on?”
She looked up at me and tried to remain calm as she said, “My water just broke.”
“Your water did what?” I was prepared for this moment. Did everything I could think of to make sure I knew what to expect, but the minute I realized she was in labor, my mind drew a blank.
“It just means the amniotic sac broke, remember? We read about it in that book Mom gave you. She’s in labor,” Wyatt interrupted. “The baby is coming. Right, Momma?”
“That’s right, buddy. In a few hours, you’ll get to meet your new sister,” she explained. How the hell could she be standing there seeming so fucking composed? The woman was in labor, the baby was coming, and she was standing there talking all calm and shit like there was nothing to it. I’d always been the one that was in control, prepared for anything, but at that moment, I felt like someone had stripped me of all my power, and I was helpless to do anything about it.
“Oh… and we need to call your grandparents and tell them to meet us at the hospital,” Wren explained.
“I’ll do it,” Wyatt told her as he headed to get his phone. Just before he left the room, he looked over to me and said, “Don’t forget to go get Momma’s bag and put it in the car.”
“Where’s the bag? Did you get everything packed?” I asked with panic.
Wren looked at me and with a soft voice said, “Come here.”
When I walked over to her, she placed her hands on my face and said, “In a few hours, you are going to be a daddy. You’re going to hold your precious, little girl in your arms, and the wait will be over. We’ll finally get to meet our daughter. I need you to take a deep breath and help me change out of these wet clothes, so we can go to the hospital.”
“And the bag?”
“Honey, you put it in the car days ago. Remember?” she teased.
“I did?”
When she nodded, I took her hand and helped her to the bedroom. As soon as she was changed, we all headed to the car. Even though I was a nervous wreck, Wren remained calm the entire way to the hospital. Wyatt sat in the backseat, spouting off facts about the delivery that I really didn’t need to hear. Wren rested her hand on my shoulder and whispered, “Breathe.”
After hours of watching Wren struggle through the pains of labor, our beautiful daughter was born. With Wyatt standing by my side, I held my Mia close to my chest, looking at her with complete awe. I felt as if my heart might burst inside my chest as I stared down at her. She had a full head of brown hair and little blue eyes like her brother. She was perfect, just like her mother had promised.
“It just keeps getting better. How is that possible?” I asked Wren.
“I don’t know, but it’s just going to keep getting better,” Wren whispered. “Trust me.”
Acknowledgements
Followed by a short excerpt of Maverick
I am extremely blessed to have such an incredible mother. Every day, she is there supporting me and encouraging me to be the best that I can be. I wouldn’t know what to do without her. Thank you, Mom. You make my life better just by being in it.
I would also like to give a huge thank you to my PA, Amanda Faulkner. She’s truly unbelievable! Posts, teasers, blogs…. It never ends. Thank you so much, Amanda!! Your help means the world to me. If you are in the need of a great PA or a great blog to follow, be sure to check out her links located under the title page.
Marci Ponce, you are an amazing editor and friend. Not only do you listen to me vent when my life gets hectic, (and I get down in the swamps) you still manage to keep me on track with my writing. I truly wouldn’t know what to do without you. You push me to be the best I can be and accept nothing less with each and every book. Your entire family has shown true dedication to the series, and it has meant so very much to me. Thank you so much for always being there and sharing your talent with me. I love ya, chick!
Danielle Deraney Palumbo, you’ve done it again! Even though your life has been extremely hectic, you still took the time to give me feedback on Stitch and help make it even better. I can’t tell you how much your help has meant to me. Thank you so much for everything you do, including kind words of support. You are amazing!
I would also like to thank all of my readers. I have loved all of your comments and posts. It means so much to me to hear that you have enjoyed reading one of my books. You have all been so supportive, and your comments always leave a smile on my face. When my life gets a little crazy, your kind words have given me the encouragement I’ve needed to continue on. Thank you Leah Joslin for being there to make me smile and encourage me when things get hectic. It has meant such much to me. You rock!
My Wilder’s Women Street Rocks!!! Thank you all for your support. It means so much to me that you continue to help me with reviews and posting all of my teasers. Elizabeth Thiele, Neringa Neringiukas, Dawn Bryant, Mary Orr, Tanya Skaggs, and R
osetta Wagers are such a huge help to me. I am always amazed each time I see one of my teasers or my links that they have shared. Thank you for taking your time to help me. It means more than you will ever know.
I have been very blessed to have so much support from such a great group of women. Sue Banner, Tanya Skaggs, Patricia Ann Blevins, Sherri Crowder, RB Hilliard, Keeana Porter, Terra Oenning, Danielle Palumbo, Kimberely Beale, Michelle Modesitte, Stacie Page – Ramay, Dana Kimberely Wade, Race Crespin, and Brandy Kennedy, you guys never fail to make me smile with your amazing reviews and kind words! Thanks so much for taking the time to read my books. Your reviews and comments mean so much to me!
Another special thank you to Sue Banner. From the start, she has shown me so much kindness and it has meant so much to me. She takes time out of her busy schedule to help make sure the book is ready for you, and she does an amazing job. She also helps edit her son’s book. If you haven’t had a chance to check out Daryl Banner’s books, you are missing out.
facebook.com/DarylBannerWriter
http://tinyurl.com/pzogl4p
Ana Rosso, my little grasshopper, thank you for always being there to read all the various editions of my books, making sure that I get it just right. Even though you are hundreds of miles away, you are like my personal cheerleader. I hope to do the same for you when your new book releases! Can’t wait! Keep on rocking chickeroo!!
Maverick
Excerpt from Book 1 in the Satan’s Fury MC Series
My mother used to say that everything happens for a reason. It didn’t matter how insignificant or how heart-wrenchingly tragic, she’d say it was just meant to be. She truly believed that if a person was patient enough… looked hard enough… for long enough, they’d be able to find their silver lining. Her faith never faltered. Facing difficult times with strength and determination, my loving mother would wait… no matter how long it took. It might have taken her months or even years, but my mother would always be able to find that light shining at the end of the long, dark tunnel.
I say bullshit. There is no fucking silver lining. Shit happens. Hard times are just a part of life, like the air we breathe. We have to learn to deal with the hand we are dealt and move the hell on. Yet, every damn time something fucked up happens in my life, I find myself thinking of my mother. If she were still alive, I wonder what she’d have to say about everything that’s happened in my life over the last year. Would she be able to find my silver lining? Because, I sure as hell can’t.
Chapter 1
Maverick
‡
“Don’t rush into this, Maverick. I know what you’re like. Give it some time, brother,” Cotton told me. I could see the concern in his penetrating eyes, and it meant a lot to me that he was trying to help. He was a good man… a good President. The brothers of Satan’s Fury looked up to him-admired him. We all knew that the club was his life, and he was all about the brotherhood. As our President, he had no problem sacrificing everything for the club – even laying down his own life, time and time again, if it meant protecting his family. I respected him for that, and was honored to be a part of it. “I know what’s really going on here. You can blame this on whatever you want, but the truth is glaring you right in the face.”
“He’s my son! What kind of man would I be if I put him in danger? I can’t risk it, Cotton,” I told him, as I looked down at my broken arm that was now wrapped up in a sling. I was a fucking mess. Bruises and cuts covered my body from head to toe. They’d done a pretty good job of working me over, and I still couldn’t figure out why they didn’t just kill me when they had the chance. “Think about it. What if he was with me when those motherfuckers jumped me? It’s up to me to protect him, and I couldn’t live with myself if something happened to him. I already ruined his mother’s life, and I’ll be damned if I ruin his.”
“That’s bullshit, and you know it. Hailey brought that shit on herself. You can’t keep carrying all of the blame,” Cotton snapped.
“It was my fault! All if it! I wasn’t there when she needed me. I should have stuck with her, made sure she got the help she needed. Now she’s dead, and I have to own that. John Warren is all I have left of her. I can’t let anything happen to him.”
“Nothing’s going to happen to him, Maverick,” he assured me, but we both knew he couldn’t guarantee that. “None of that even matters… it’s all in the past. Right now, you have to face your demons, either fight them or learn to live with them.”
I knew he was right. My mind had been a cluster fuck since the day I brought John Warren home with me. When I looked at him, I could tell that he had my blood running through his veins. He was such a good looking kid – healthy and strong. I was thankful that his mother’s drug use hadn’t hurt him. Yet, there was a question lingering deep inside of me. I couldn’t put my finger on it. Why did this strange pull keep going off in my head? I loved this kid from the start, but my mind was bombarded with doubts – some of which I couldn’t even name. I had to believe that I was doing this for him. I’d fucked up so much already, I couldn’t be responsible for ruining another life. Me… the club… whatever the reason, John Warren didn’t belong here with me. He deserved more.
“I can’t take that chance. I can’t make the same mistakes again, Cotton.” My throat tightened, making it difficult to even say the words. I truly believed that taking him to Lily was the right thing to do. He deserved a mother, and I knew she loved him as her own. But, the selfish side of me wished things could be different. Still, I knew I had to protect him at all costs. That was the most important thing now.
“Maverick…” Cotton tried again.
“I need you to back me up on this,” I argued. “It’s the right thing for John Warren… and for me.”
His face was registered with acceptance as he brought his hand up, and rested it on my shoulder. “I wish you’d give it more time, but if this is what you think you should do, I’ll support you on it. When do you need to leave?”
I stood up and reached for my keys. “Tonight. There’s no need in delaying this thing any longer. It’s a long drive, so it will take me a couple of days to get back.”
“I’ll let the guys know. Just be careful,” Cotton told me as I turned towards the door. “Maverick?”
I looked over towards him as Cotton said, “Some choices can’t be undone. You need to be sure about this one, brother.” My eyes dropped down to the floor. The worn out boards creaked beneath my feet, and I wondered how they managed to support my weight. I felt so heavy, like the unrelenting weight of the world was pressing down on my shoulders. It hurt to move… to even breathe. His words circled through my thoughts, and I knew he was right. This one decision could haunt me for the rest of my life, but I knew in my gut it was the right thing to do for John Warren… for my son.
I opened the door to my room, and stopped. It was hard to believe how much this room had changed in just one week. It’d been just a room. A place to crash when I needed it, but now I didn’t recognize it. John Warren’s presence filled the air, surrounding me with his warmth. My chest tightened as I thought about him not being here anymore. I tried to block the turmoil from my mind as I grabbed a bag and quickly began filling it with his clothes and toys. When I picked up the tiny giraffe that he slept with every night, I couldn’t hold it together any longer. My legs began to buckle under me when I thought about him lying in that crib with his tiny little fingers wrapped around the giraffe’s neck. It gutted me. I dropped down to my knees as I held the stuffed animal tightly in my hands, bringing it up close to my face so I could inhale JW’s scent. Damn. I’d never felt a hurt like this before.
Why did it have to be like this? Why couldn’t I be the father he needed? What the fuck was wrong with me? My chest tightened when I thought about taking him back to Lily. My heart shattered like broken glass when I thought about not being able to see his smile; to touch him… to hold him. He was a part of me – the best part of me – but I couldn’t stop the doubts from spiraling th
rough my head. The darkness inside of me was growing, engulfing me. John Warren deserved more than I could give… a life not tarnished by the likes of me.
There was a tap on my door, and I had just enough time to get back on my feet before Cassidy walked in. John Warren was propped up on her hip with a handful of her hair in one hand and a bottle in the other. “I just finished giving little man his dinner and a bath. He’s all ready for bed.”
“Thanks, Cass.” She was one of the bartenders at the club. Even though she sometimes partied with the club girls, I trusted her to watch him. She’d come to love the kid in the short time he’d been here and enjoyed spending time with him. From the moment I brought him into the club, she couldn’t get enough of him, always wanting to hold him and play with him. Cass adored him, and I honestly wouldn’t have known what to do without her.
I rubbed my eyes with the palm of my hands, trying to clear the tears away. When she noticed the expression on my face, she asked, “What’s going on? Are you ok?”
“Would you believe me if I said yes?” I responded, as I looked away from her and started to put the last of John Warren’s things in his bag.
“Seriously,” she snapped. “Tell me what’s going on, Maverick? Are you taking him somewhere?”
I took a deep breath and swallowed hard, trying to reign in the emotions that threatened to tear me apart. I had to hold it together. “I’m taking him back to Lily and Goliath. They can give him what he needs… the life that he deserves…”
“What? No! You can’t do that, Maverick… He belongs here, with us… with you. You’re his dad. You’re all he needs,” Cassidy cried as the tears began to pool in her eyes.
“Look at him, Cassidy. He’s perfect. So innocent… so pure. All the good in the world is wrapped up in him.” She looked down at him, a grief-stricken expression on her beautiful face. “I’m no good for him. I’ll only fuck it all up if I keep him here. I love him. I love him like nothing else, and I have to protect him… protect him from my world… protect him from me.” I could feel the storm of emotions begin to take hold again, so I took JW from her arms and picked up his bag. “I don’t expect you to understand it, Cassidy, but this is something I have to do. I have to do this for him.”