I turn around to see Kate crying in Keith’s arms. I babble something about I will call her and to go home.
She says she is staying and to let her know what is going on. I don’t fight her, so I turn on my heels and shove my way through the double doors.
It was like walking into another dimension. It is so earsplitting and people are frantic and yelling. We come around the bend in the hallway and I hear hollering “CODE BLUE!” I’m not an idiot, I know what that means. I walk a little faster holding onto Ella’s elbow. I see the number 8 above the doorway where everyone is shouting. A young man runs in with a crash cart. I’m unable to see because the tears are blurring my vision. Ella tries to hold me back, but I push through.
I run to his bed side and scream at the top of my lungs, “GRANT COME BACK!!! I’m here … come back!!!!” I feel arms wrapped around my waist and I am pulled to the end of the bed. I grab the end of the bed. I’m not leaving this cubicle! I see an older man in a white coat with the electric paddles held high above his head. He yells ‘CLEAR’ and everyone jumps back. My husband looks peaceful, like he does when he is asleep. I see him jerk on the table. Nothing happens. The alarm is beeping in one piercing tone. I want them to turn it off. The noise is deafening to my ears. The doctor yells out numbers and then shouts ‘CLEAR’ again. Grant jerks again.
Ella is to my side with her arms around my waist holding onto me. I start shrieking, “NO … NO … NO” over and over again.
Sweat trickles down the doctor’s forehead, a look of defeat on his white pale face. The doctor looks at me and mouths, “I’m sorry.” He turns the ear-piercing monitor off and looks to the nurse, and calls the time of death.
Pushing away from Ella I run to Grant’s side screaming to him, “Don’t you dare leave me Grant, and wake up now, WAKE UP DAMMIT! You are not allowed to leave me, you are not DEAD, wake the hell up.” I start to smack him on his chest telling him to wake up. My cries are brutal. It takes everything I can to inhale. My heart aches. I feel that at any second it is going to stop beating. All I see is Grant. I hear voices and I can feel movement around the room, but none of that has my attention. I just stare at my beautiful husband, wanting to wake up from this horrendous nightmare.
“Grant, wake up please.” I whimper softly to him. By now my head is on his chest and I have wrapped my arms around his neck. For being in an accident there is little blood. His face looks perfectly fine. I guess he was safe and wore his helmet. He has bruises all over his chest and abdomen. Rough looking scratches and bloody marks on his arms, but he just looks banged up … not DEAD! “Grant, please don’t leave me. There is so much we still need to do, so much to share, and grow with each other. I needed to tell you that you might be a daddy. I might be pregnant. Please, you have to be by my side for all of this. I can’t do this alone, I can’t fucking do this alone!”
I lie on his chest for what feels like forever, until I feel myself go cold. I feel him go cold. Ella is by my side and tells me that we need to go, that I need to rest, and to think of the baby. I wish I could see his eyes look at me one last time. All he had to do was look at me and I knew what he was feeling. I lean down to give his eyelids a kiss. I brush his hair away from his face, and kiss his lips one last time. I rub my fingers against his stubble, then down his neck, across his collarbone, down his pecks, and trail them down his abdomen. I’m straining to grasp all of him in just a few more touches. I grab his left hand and entwine our fingers together. Taking my thumb and rubbing his wedding band. I kiss his hand and ring.
Ella is trying, without success, to pull me away from my husband and I can’t let go of him. “Ella, please I can’t let go of him, ELLA PLEASE!!” I scream bloody murder at her. Ella separates our hands and places his hand on his stomach.
“Beth, please honey … come with me.” Ella cries to me.
I watch the nurse come over to his other side and drape a sheet over Grant’s beautiful body. “Don’t you dare cover him up!” I shout out to the nurse, “Don’t you dare!” I hear silence as everyone is looking at me. The next thing I know I feel a pinch on my arm and another set of hands wrap around my shoulders. As I try to turn my head to see who is behind me, my body starts to feel like liquid. Then everything goes black.
My cell phone won’t stop ringing. I just got off a shift at the hospital. All I want to do is go home, have a beer, and relax. I keep getting this unknown number and it is really pissing me off. On the third call, I answer. “Dr. Alexander, can I help you?”
“Uh, Jacob right?”
“May I ask who is calling?”
“Ella Hudson told me to call you. My name is Kate, and our friend Beth is in trouble. Ella asked me if you could come down and help her out.”
I’m irritated. I just left the hospital. Placing my car keys back in my jeans, I am walking back into the hospital.
“Where is Ella and what is going on?” I ask inquisitively.
“Ella is with Beth in the ER. Beth just had implantation done a couple days ago. Ella, is scared she will miscarry with the news that was just given to her.”
I hear Kate is starting to cry, Jesus Christ, what the hell is going on? “Okay, I am coming back into the hospital right now, what can I do to help Beth?” I am starting to run through the hospital. The ER entrance is on the other side of the hospital.
“Beth’s husband was in a motorcycle accident, it doesn’t look too good for him. Beth has had IVF three times and this was her last time. She can’t lose the baby Jacob; you have got to help her.” This girl is sobbing and I feel my body’s adrenaline starting to kick in. Ella has been such a great co-worker, nurse, and also a friend. I can only imagine what she is going through with her best friend. I have heard so much about Ella’s best friends, Beth and Kate. I know they mean the world to her, she has a picture of the three of them in a hot pink frame that says “GIRLS RULE” on her desk next her family pictures. I don’t know which is which, but they all are pretty women.
“Kate, I will get there in a few minutes. I need to hang up and get with a nurse from the ER. I will let you know what happens.”
She sobs a goodbye on the phone and I quickly call the ER. I get with Ruth, a nurse, who briefly tells me what is going on with Beth’s husband. I tell her what I need and that I need a room ASAP for my patient. As I approach the ER wing I slow my run down to try and catch my breath. I swipe my badge in front of the doors and walk to the nurses’ station. As I walk, I hear the cries of a woman and my heart breaks. Hoping that this isn’t Beth, I’m in search for Ruth. Asking one of the nurses at the station she points me to her. I walk past room number 8 and I see Ella with her hands over her mouth and I see a petite red head leaning over a man on a gurney. I quickly walk by knowing that was Beth. As I approach Ruth, I feel a hand pulling my bicep. It’s Ella. “Jacob, you’ve got to help her! Her husband just died and she is a mess. Please, give her something to calm her down.”
I grab Ella and pull her in for a hug. “I’m working on it now.”
“Thank You.” is all she tearfully says and walks back to room 8. I arrive to Ruth’s side and introduce myself, show her my badge and tell her I need what I asked for. She takes me to the cabinet that she placed the medicine in. Once it is in my hands, I fill the syringe up and head towards Beth. I hear the dreadful screams from her voice, I hear Ella’s begging pleas to move. I have never been in the position before, and right now I have no fucking clue how to approach this. I go the easy route. As soon as I see Ella, hold Beth in her arms, I walk behind Ella and prick Beth with the sedation. She is in such a state of shock that by the time she turns around to see me, her big beautiful greens eyes close.
I drop the syringe and jump in front of Ella to grab Beth. I scoop her up in my arms like a baby and we walk to the elevators. “Jacob … thank you … she can’t lose the baby, on top of what she just lost in there.” Ella wipes her face with the sleeve of her shirt, and tries to slowly take in some breaths.
“I’ll do what I can, Ella … I�
��ll do what I can.” Is all I can say as I stare at this beautiful woman in my arms. She looks so peaceful, almost angelic like. Even with the mascara smudges, and her face is tear stained from crying, she is still the most beautiful woman I have laid eyes on. We finally get to the Perinatal High risk floor. Walking into her room, I gently place her on the bed. I lay her head against the pillow and fan out her red hair. I pull off her shoes, and pull down the covers. I walk to the end of the bed and just stare at this beauty that is sleeping peacefully. “I’ll let you get her undressed. I’m going to the nurse’s station to get her file started.” I say to Ella as I slowly walk out the room. I close the door to a woman that has captivated me. I haven’t heard her say my name and I haven’t had the privilege of those beautiful green eyes looking at me, but that woman in that room will be life changing for me. I don’t know what it is about her, but I have to get to know her.
Once I come back to the room, Ella has placed her in a gown and covered her up. The night nurse is starting an IV. I’ve prescribed a muscle relaxer, and I think with the state her body is in, she will just sleep. I don’t know if she is pregnant, but I want to treat her as if she is. “How long will she be out?” Ella asks as she gets a pillow for herself.
“Not sure, it could be a day or a week, it just depends on how her body takes in the medication. She was hit with a huge blow.” I say as I stare at Beth. I watch her breathe, and look at her pink lips that are just barely apart. I turn around and see Ella get cozy in a recliner chair. “Ella, what are you doing? Go home to your family.”
“Jacob she is my family. I can’t leave her, what if she wakes up?”
I walk to the recliner and squat so she and I are eye to eye. “I understand that, but you need to be with your family, and you need to let Kate know what has happened. I will stay here with her. I have no one to go home to. I promise, to take care of her. Go, home to Chris … please.”
With her eyebrows scrunched on her forehead and eyes narrowed onto mine, she softly says, “Why would you do that? You don’t even know her?”
“I know she means the world to you and that you can’t be in two places at once. So I will take care of her.”
She leans over and starts to cry. I pat her back, and whisper to her that things will work out. She stands up and grabs her purse. She walks over to Beth and kisses her forehead. “Thank you Jacob. I’m going to go call her parents and Kate. I will be by tomorrow.”
“Take your time Ella. Good Night.”
I walk behind her and close the door. I turn off the main light and turn on the bathroom light and leaving the door ajar. I sit in the recliner and stare at the beautiful angel that lies before me. My mother died 24 years ago, and there are times where I silently talk to her. Please mom, embrace Beth’s husband with open arms up in heaven. Mom, help me get through this with her. Let me be the man and friend that she needs me to be to get her through this difficult time. Within the hour my eyelids are heavy and sleep consumes me.
It isn’t until morning that the day nurse walks in. I walk over to the bed, and check her monitor noticing that she is still in a deep sleep. I ask her nurse to bring me a breakfast tray and to change her medication. I spend Sunday sitting in the recliner and watching Beth. That night her parents come by along with Kate and Ella. I meet her parents, Grace and Evan. I inform them what we are doing to her, and just hoping that we have given her embryos a chance for survival. I let them know that I can do an hCG count by the end of the week, but that it is still too early to know if she is really pregnant.
Monday I go back to work. I give Ella the week off so she can spend her days with Beth. I swing by when I am done with the office and I frequently visit with her when I am on call with the hospital. By Thursday I do blood work to see if her hCG levels are elevated. That afternoon I give Ella the results that indeed her hCG levels are elevated, but not enough to clarify that she is truly pregnant. I let her know though that at the rate her hCG levels are going that she will be truly pregnant by mid next week. Ella screams in cheers. She jumps up and down laughing hysterical.
That night I decreased her medication and hoping within the next 24 hours she will wake up. Ella has run to the cafeteria for a late dinner and I sit at the edge of her bed, just looking at her. She is truly beautiful and already glowing. There is some kind of pull towards her and I don’t know what it is, but I need to get to know her. I want to be here for her, she has had the worst thing imaginable happened to her, yet she hasn’t even walked in hell yet. I want to ease her ache, the gut wrenching ache that will shatter her heart. I want to be the person she relies on to get her through this whether she is pregnant or not. I can’t explain the feelings that have consumed me, but I need to have her.
There is light all around me as I slowly awake. I’m lying in a bed. The sun is pouring through the window, this is not my room, and that is not my window. Ella is sleeping in a chair. “Holy shit! I’m in a hospital room, what the hell happened to me? Oh God tell me I didn’t miscarry.” I pull the sheets back, lift my hips up and pull my panties back looking to see if there is blood, or if I’m wearing one of those huge pads. There is nothing there. I am attached to an IV so I pull a pillow around that was behind my back and throw it in Ella’s lap. “Ella, wake up.” I sternly say to her.
She wakes up rubbing the sleep away from her face. Shit, she looks bad, what the hell has happened? As she is pulling herself up and stretching I remember, Grant … accident … DEAD! “Ella, please tell me it was a nightmare, please tell me he isn’t dead. Why the hell am I in this bed?”
“Beth, I am so sorry” is all she says as she crawls into bed with me and holds me. I start to cry, pulling her to me as I sob into her neck. “Shhh, Beth please don’t get upset. I have news to tell you. You have to promise me you won’t get upset. It’s not good for you.”
“Oh God, what is wrong? You’re scaring the shit out of me.”
“Beth,” she looks at me smiles with tears in her eyes, “you’re pregnant!”
“I … what?” What the hell is she talking about? I am sitting here, thinking. There is no way. I just had implantation done three days ago. It’s what … Sunday morning?
“Beth, you’re pregnant. They did a blood test last night. Your hCG levels are elevated for just having implantation.”
“Ella what is today? There is no way to find out this early.”
“Beth, its Friday.”
“What the fuck? How the hell is it Friday? My husband just died on Saturday night. What the hell happened to me?”
“Beth please don’t be mad, and know what I did, I did with the best intentions of keeping you pregnant. I didn’t want you to have another loss. I knew this was your last attempt to getting pregnant, especially with what has happened to Grant.” I start to cry for my husband, and then for the total clusterfuck that is going on in my head.
“Ella what happened?” I say quietly.
“Beth, I texted Kate when we were watching the whole mess with Grant. I told her to call Dr. Alexander. Knowing he had a shift at the hospital and tell him to get his ass here. She told him what was going on and that you might be pregnant. Once you started to panic and freak out, he gave you a heavy dose sedative to knock you out. We’ve kept you in the hospital, kept you hydrated, and rested. We needed to give your baby a chance to develop. Yesterday afternoon, Dr. Alexander came in wanted to get blood work done. Well, it shows that you are indeed pregnant. It’s a start to a healthy pregnancy, based on where your numbers are at. He will want more blood work today to make sure they are going up the way they need to.”
My jaw has hit the floor. I have so many emotions running through me, the loss of my husband, but the gain of a baby. I’m highly pissed with the universe, how the hell does this happen to someone? Grant was thirty. We were trying to start a family and live this next chapter of our lives together.
“El, what happened to Grant, do Cole and Anna know what is going on since I have been out … oh my god my dogs … El?”
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br /> “Honey, Kate has the dogs at her place. They are fine and the least of your worries. Cole and Anna knew what happened right after he passed. Keith had his partner go and pick them up to bring them to the hospital. They saw him minutes after you were asleep. They started to plan his memorial, if it’s ok with you they would like to do it tomorrow night? Ethan and your parents are here. They are staying at your house. They came in Sunday morning, and have been by to check on you.”
“Grant and the others were killed by a drunk driver on a motorcycle. Apparently, the rider swerved into the other lane, making a car weave in and out of the lane. Grant was traveling down the road with a pack of seven motorcyclists. The car swerved and hit the back riders, who were killed instantly. The front three were cut off by the second car that was traveling behind the first that tried to move out of the way for the drunk driver. Grant was part of the three riders. The front three bikers were thrown from their bikes and landed a long way from their bikes. Grant went flying into a group of outside tables and chairs. He shattered his pelvis, broke both legs, and his lower back. He ruptured his spleen and his right kidney. He had massive internal bleeding and a collapsed lung. He ended up going into cardiac arrest. He crashed in the ambulance. They brought him back, but once he got here there was nothing the doctors could do.”
“Oh my god” is all I can say over and over.
“Honey, one more thing.” I take in a breath and give her the look to keep on going. “All the bikers in that group have died. They were all friends of Grant’s, including Sean and Jack.”
“Oh my God, El! So you are telling me that Kelly’s husband is dead. This is horrifying. Those men were lawyers, accountants, husbands, and fathers. Kelly had a baby girl six months ago.” I lay my head back in an awkward position and realize that I am not the only person living this awful nightmare. Kelly’s child will never know her father … Just like mine. I weep. I don’t sob because I know that will get me going and isn’t good for the baby, but I let the tears run down my face.
Life's Perfect Plan (The Life Series) Page 4