Thirty minutes later I am in the office. Ella comes around the counter to give me a big hug. “Happy Birthday, Beth!”
Squeezing her shoulders into me, I mutter, “Thanks Ella!”
She drags me to the back and tells me to hop on the scale. I’m afraid that she is going to get mad, because I feel I might have lost weight. I haven’t really been eating. I can’t stomach to eat or even smell the food. Smoothies have become my food of choice.
“Beth you’ve gained four pounds.” She is so shitting me, on my birthday of all days. I turn around to look, and see my weight tinkered up four more pounds.
“How is that possible? If I continue at this rate of not eating and gaining four pounds I will pop out a butterball turkey.”
“Let’s wait and see what Dr. Alexander says.” With that remark I pick up my purse and head to the room. I get undressed below the waist and sit on the table with a thin sheet over me.
The knock on the door jolts me out of my daydream of me looking like the Michelin Man by summer. A very tall, gorgeous man walks in with a manila folder in his hands. He is wearing a white jacket, with Dr. Alexander embroidered on it, but he is not the Dr. Alexander I saw before I got pregnant. I pull the sheet up a little farther, because I know I am blushing, hell I didn’t even trim down there and this God of a man is going to look down there. Holy shit, please let the floor open up and swallow me whole. I look to Ella who just winks at me. I am so going to murder her. Oh my God, he looks at me and he has blue-green eyes, they are almost a turquoise color. “Good Morning, Mrs. Thomas and Happy Birthday by the way. What brings in you today?”
“Well, thank you. I am getting concerned because lately I have been having consistent pain, almost like cramping, I am always nauseous and I feel swollen for only being around seven weeks pregnant. By the way, you aren’t the Dr. Alexander I saw a couple years ago. So who are you, if you don’t mind me asking?”
“I am Dr. Alexander; you must have seen my father Dr. Jeff Alexander. I am Dr. Jacob Alexander. My father only does GYN visits. I see you conceived by IVF, with Dr. Wilson. Implantation date is around seven weeks. Let’s get an ultrasound done and see what is going on for your symptoms. As Ella gets the machine, I will be right back.”
He walks out of the room as I grab Ella’s wrist. “Mariella Adrianna Luciano Hudson, why in the hell did you not tell me about that Dr. Alexander?” I’m so embarrassed, that man is beautiful. He is so tall he must be around 6’2 and his shoulders are so broad, and those gorgeous eyes. “How in the hell, am I going to tolerate those eyes looking at me down there!”
Ella laughs; the bitch has the nerve to laugh at me. “Beth calm down, do you know how many woman blush, every time he walks in. You aren’t the only one. Plus, he’s gay, so don’t worry about it. Pretend you are at the dentist; just open your legs and say ‘ahhhh’.” I flip her off as she struts her ass out of the room. I jump off the table wrap the sheet around me and dig in my purse for my lotion. I rub it all over my legs, and stomach. I really don’t give a shit if he is gay or not. I will not let those sexy eyes look at my dry legs. Not much I can do about trimming up my bikini area. Note to self … store a razor in my purse for now on.
Minutes go by before Ella, along with Dr. Dreamy, walk in with the machine. Ella is quietly giggling, because I am sure she can smell my sweet pea lotion all over me. Dr. Dreamy pulls out the stirrups and guides my feet into them. Oh my God my feet. Note to self … get a damn pedicure! He pulls the sheet up and over my knees so I won’t be able to see him. He tells me to relax and he pushes my knees apart further. I throw my arm over my head as this is the most humiliating moment of my life.
He inserts his fingers in me. I feel I have been electrocuted in my vagina. I jolt off the table. He holds my hips down. “Elizabeth, sorry did I hurt you?”
“Uhh … No, sorry … I’m good.” Ugh! I hear him pull the gloves off and tell me that my cervix looks great. He puts a condom on the trans-vaginal wand, and lubes it up with some gel. He turns the monitor so I can somewhat see. I notice he is very quiet and is having a hard time looking at me. I decide I am going to look at Ella’s face since I can tell more by her reaction then the black and white on the screen. He’s moving around and apologizes for the pressure. He keeps it still and pushes a bunch of buttons on the key board.
I look to Ella and I see tears in her eyes. Oh shit, this isn’t good. I’m miscarrying. “Ella, what’s wrong?” As my voice constricts the words out. She looks to Dr. Alexander.
He turns the monitor; he says “I can tell you, it isn’t bad. You are having growing pains at a rapid speed, because, Elizabeth, you are having triplets!” Ella plops down on me and cries and laughs at the same time. I am speechless and shocked. Dr. Alexander points to the three black holes on the screen and says that those are my babies. “Three babies, I am going to have three babies at one time?” I squeal. Oh Shit!!
He puts his hands behind my neck and I feel like he shocked me, that lighting has stricken my veins. I get hot all of a sudden as he helps me up into a sitting position. “Well congratulations Elizabeth. This is some birthday, 3 babies for turning 30! “
All I can do is smile and quietly say, “Yes, yes it is.”
Dr. Alexander leans against the counter and is writing in my file. “Dr. Alexander, how come Dr. Wilson didn’t tell me this news last week? He saw the heartbeat. Meaning one, not three. Why?” I barely catch my breath as the words run out of my mouth.
“Mrs. Thomas …”
“Please call me Elizabeth.”
“Alright, Elizabeth. Since I don’t have your records as of yet from Dr. Wilson, I can only assume that either the babies were hiding behind one another or he didn’t want to alarm you saying there were three. As soon as I have his notes, I can inform you why he didn’t tell you. I assure you he did this with best intentions whatever the reason.” He says with such grace and confidence. While placing his hands on his lean hips, he excuses Ella from the room.
“I’m going to leave you to get dressed. Once you are done, I would like to talk to you in my office about your pregnancy and I have information to give you.
Once I am dressed I open the door to see Ella leaning against the wall. “You OK?”
“I’m good, just so much to take in at once.” I quietly say to her as I swing my purse on my shoulder.
“Dr. Alexander’s Office is this way.” She says as she grabs my arm. “You know, Beth, that this is the Dr. Alexander that took care of you that week in the hospital, he’s the one that told me you were pregnant.”
Nothing comes out of my mouth, I just nod at her. Once we are at his office the door is open and I see him at his desk. I give Ella a hug and tell her I will say good-bye before I leave.
I couldn’t get out of that room fast enough. I’m sitting here trying to catch my breath and bring my nerves to a state of calm. Who would have thought that would be the worst exam on a patient in my career life. It tore me apart, to see her reaction towards me when I touched her. That is one thing I didn’t want to do the first time I met her. I love what I do, and I know that many women dread the gynecologist office. So many women are nervous, embarrassed, and even bashful, but my profession is nothing different than any other doctor. I remember when I was in high school I admired my father. To take on the role of single father raising two teenagers and running a practice inspired me to be just like him. When I had concerns of going into a profession where I looked at vaginas all day, he was right there beside me saying. “Son, if you’ve seen one vagina you’ve seen them all … all the same and they serve two purposes … sex and birth.”
Being a doctor for several years and looking at vaginas never bothered me until today, until Elizabeth was on my table. I have got to tell her I can’t be her doctor. This is too awkward, and doesn’t feel right. Now she’s pregnant with triplets and that means more visits for her. I just can’t do this. I’m on the computer printing out information for her on her pregnancy with multiples when I can see from
my peripheral vision that she is standing by my office door with Ella. Damn!! She is stunning, even with the clothes she is wearing, hair not done and no makeup on she is beautiful.
A knock on the door diverts my attention to her standing nervously against the door jam. “Come in Elizabeth, please have a seat.” I say as I keep clearing my voice. Dammit, calm down, Jake!! “I’m just printing off some information for you.”
I watch her sit in the chair with her leg crossed over her knee. Her foot is shaking a mile a minute and she keeps rubbing her hands together. I can tell she is nervous around me. I wish I knew why I made her so nervous. She wants to tell me something, her eyes are focused on the back of my computer screen. The wheels in her head are spinning.
“Dr. Alexander … um, I want to say thank you for what you did the night my husband died. Ella told me it was you that sedated me so that my babies would have a chance for survival and obviously it worked. So, thank you.” She says quietly and I see the tears start to trickle down her cheeks. Shit!! I don’t want to see her cry.
Leaning over my chair I grab the tissue box from the shelf behind my desk. I hand them to her. “Here, please don’t cry Elizabeth.” She pulls the tissue out and dabs it under her eyes.
“Thank you, I’m sorry I don’t mean to cry, it’s just today of all days is very emotional.”
“I completely understand.” I say to her and truthfully I do understand the heartache she is going through. Maybe one day I can tell her that we are more alike than she thinks. I need to get to the point of why I brought her to my office before the nurses come banging on my door. Turning my chair around I pull the papers off the printer and pull the yellow folder of pamphlets, coupons and websites off the shelf. I place the yellow folder on my desk, leaning forward I open it up and show her what is inside. Then I hand her the papers I printed off. I advise her to have no caffeine, but if needed no more than one cup a day. I want her to limit her salts and greasy foods, up her fiber and water, and sleep eight to ten hours a night. Sleep when she is tired, and most importantly listen to her body.
“Any questions or concerns you call the office.” I hand her another associate’s business card. This moment is what I have been dreading; this is a moment that I have never had to do in my career. I want to see Elizabeth as she is, not as a patient. It morally isn’t right for me to see my patients as any more than patients and I want more with her. I know it will take her time, but I feel it in the beat of my heart that she is the one for me. She is the one that I have been searching for the last twelve years.
“This is Dr. Weller. He is a great associate of mine and I think he will handle your multiple pregnancy better than I would. He’s been delivering babies for as long as I have lived.” She just stares at the business card. Shit say something … anything. After what seems like minutes, I ask her. “Elizabeth, are you OK?”
She looks up to me with those gorgeous green eyes of her, and the tears are just pooling in her eyes. FUCK!! “I don’t understand? Why do I need to see a different doctor? Do you think something is wrong with my babies? I want you to be my doctor. Ella says you’re the best and I trust her with everything I have, including my babies, which is all I have now. Why?”
She pulls more tissues out of the box. Dammit, this is not how I imagined things would go. “Elizabeth, first off there is nothing wrong with your babies. I just assumed you would want a more experienced doctor. Don’t get me wrong I’ve done my share of multiple and high risk pregnancies … I just thought … shit … what I want to say is not coming out right.” Looking at her is breaking my heart. I just want her to smile; I want that glow to return that she had when she was sleeping. I want to take all this pain from her.
“I don’t understand?” She says quietly and giving me a perplexed look.
I can’t say what I want to say. It will scare the shit out of her. I will be the biggest ass if I say what is on my mind. Again, I am chicken shit and take the easy way out. “Elizabeth, I just wanted to give you an option in case you felt I wasn’t the doctor you needed or wanted. Nevertheless, I want you to know that I am here for you no matter what.” I walk around my desk and squat next to the chair she is sitting in. I take the tissues out of her hand and lay them on the floor. I grab both of her hands and hold them in my palms. “I was around a lot when you were in the hospital. Ella told me a lot about you, I feel like I know you, but then I look at you and I feel I know nothing about you. But I just feel … any friend of Ella’s is a friend of mine.” I hand her my business card and grab a pen off my desk. I write my cell number on the back of the card. “Here is my number in case you need something and can’t reach me after hours. I want you to understand that I am here for you, pregnancy related or not. Just don’t call me if you have a plumbing question, which is something to leave to the professionals.” There it is! She smiles at my ridiculous joke. Her green eyes sparkle as she looks at me. I pat her knee as I stand up.
Taking my card she places it in her purse. She stands up and puts her hand out for me to shake. “Thanks Dr. Alexander, for all this.” As she holds up the folder and papers. “If you don’t mind I would like to remain as your patient.”
Letting go of her hand I tell her that I don’t mind at all. I walk her to the reception area and tell her I will see her in two weeks. Before I go on to the next patient, I walk back to my office. It smells of her sweet pea scent. I pull out a bottle of Jack and take a few gulps. My nerves are still not calm, and I’m not sure if they ever will be having Elizabeth in my life now. Then I take a swig of water, from the bottle on my desk. As, I stand up to pull a piece of gum from my pocket, I watch from my office window. I watch her walk to her hot, red Camaro. I see that she is still crying, she has the phone to her ear. She throws her bag in, and steps into her car smoothly with ease. Within a few seconds she is gone from the parking lot. I leave my office, counting down the days until I see her again.
It’s hard to believe that December has arrived. The year has flown by; the year that started off so magical, and has ended with heartache, despair, and anxiety. I’m finally out of my first trimester. It’s a week before Christmas. Do you think I have done any decorating for Christmas … Nope! I can’t do it. I can’t bring out all the memories that Grant and I have accumulated over 9 years. Also, I can’t crawl up in the attic, so this year since it is just me. I am not decorating. I will be starting the New Year with seeing a realtor, I can’t live in this house, knowing that this house was meant for Grant and me to raise our children. With him not here, it feels wrong and unwanted.
I have seen Dr. Alexander every week since my eight week visit. After that visit I saw Cole and Anna to give them a copy of the ultrasound. They were speechless to hear the news of having three grandchildren. Anna is over the moon and has offered her grandma-sitting services. I will happily oblige! Cole is excited, but hits him with a double-edge sword. Due to my high risk and carrying multiples, it was lectured to me by Dr. Alexander and Ella to live a stress free life as much as possible, and relax as much as I can. I have got to keep them in me for as long as possible. So I let Cole know that I had to resign from the practice. One, it was for the pregnancy and two; I haven’t been back since Grant had passed. I couldn’t go into the office that he and I shared five days a week. I couldn’t go into his office and see everything of his without him being there. One of our associates, Indira, packed up his and my personal items and shipped them to me. They are still in the garage. I can’t go through it. I know what is in there. I can’t go through the memories right now. Cole was great and assured me that once I was ready to come back that I will be accepted with open arms. I’m not sure if I ever want to go back.
Getting ready for my twelve week appointment I am nervous. It’s that mark in any woman’s pregnancy where it can go downhill or uphill. Where you wait for the twelve week mark to tell friends you are pregnant, but it’s also that mark where it can go bad. Knowing that I could lose one or all still weighs heavily on my mind.
K
ate is going to go with me. I haven’t told her it is triplets. I want to surprise her with the ultrasound today! I was there when she found out she was having twins. I wanted to continue with tradition. Kate picks me up in her dark blue Ford F-150. I grab the oh shit bar to haul my butt up in the seat.
“Kate, how in the hell did you get the girls in the back seat?” I ask exasperated from pulling myself up.
“Girl, where in the hell do you think I got my guns from.” As she is flexing her biceps to me. “Bethy-baby, just wait, you pick out this cute infant seat, but you don’t realize that this seven pound baby does a lot of growing in its first year. Times that by two and you got yourself a continuous workout, but don’t worry you can just snuggle your little wee one in that hot car of yours and be fine. I had to hoist up the girls in this truck. By their first year they were over twenty pounds plus the weight of the seat. UGH!! I don’t miss those days. It’s nice to tell the girls to jump in and then all I do is buckle”
I just smile, because she has no idea … I have no idea what I am in for.
Realization sinks in. I’ve got to sell my pride and joy. “Kate, did two seats fit in the truck ok, was there room for a third person to sit back there?”
She looks at me with her eyebrows scrunched together, “Umm, yeah there was room. When we went out as a family I sat in the middle to watch over them. Why do you ask?
“Oh, just wandering. By the way you didn’t get those arms by lifting car seats, you got those arms by shoveling horse shit.”
“Car seats … horse shit it’s all manual labor, baby!”
We pull into the office. I warn her of how hot my doctor is. I tell her how we have made small talk during the last month. That when he touches me he makes me light up like a damn Christmas tree. We wait in the waiting room. Kate is fidgeting, she holds my hand, then her foot is tapping the coffee table a mile a minute, then she is rubbing my belly and talking to the babies. Kate has never been diagnosed, but just by being with her I can tell you, the woman is ADHD. She doesn’t need caffeine, she has adrenaline running through her blood.
Life's Perfect Plan (The Life Series) Page 6