“How much is a few thousand, Jacob?” As I look at him and I know that I am slowly becoming his buzz kill. I grab his hand and with my thumb I start to rub his knuckles.
“Baby, it’s not a big deal, we need this house. I know how you feel about going back to your house. This had to be done.”
I squeeze his hand and whisper “How much more?”
With his clouded blue eyes looking at the floor his quietly mumbles. “Twenty five thousand.”
I gasp and throw the folder on the floor. The house was so over budget as it was and he goes and throws in another twenty five thousand. My breathing starts to quicken. I feel hot all of a sudden.
“Baby, you are so pale, calm down, please. Let me explain.”
“Please, explain Jacob. Because I want to know how in the hell are we going to afford a mortgage on that kind of house when you threw away an extra twenty five thousand out the window. Our budget was for your salary, adding an extra twenty five thousand goes over our budget. I don’t want to go back to work right away. I want to stay home and raise my children. With our mortgage and my loans I will have to go back to work. God Dammit, Jacob, why didn’t you think of talking to me about this?”
“Baby, you don’t need to go back to work. I will take care of you and everything else. I have the money for this. I should have told you … I have more money than you originally thought.
He pulls me into him and now I am leaning across his chest and my head is under her chin. He pushes my hair behind my ear and traces my jaw line with his thumb.
“Baby, my mother left me a trust fund. Her parents left her a massive amount of money when they died. She had no use for it so she left it in a trust fund for us. I was granted half at eighteen and the other half at twenty five. Let’s just say that this fund paid for all my schooling and I am still in good hands. Then when Rebecca died I was received her life insurance. We are financially well off, Baby. You can stay home with the boys for as long as you want. I promise you that I’ll take care of you and I mean it. No worries from you. I have this covered.”
I pull myself off his chest and grab his face with my hands. I quietly say, “Jacob, I do worry. I have so much to worry about now. We’re still newly dating and rushing into so much at a rapid speed. I worry that once we finally get comfortable, you won’t want this life that has been thrown at your feet. You have no commitments here. You can walk away whenever you want. I worry about this, hell it consumes me. I’m scared out of my fucking mind.” I barely get the last sentence out before my voice cracks and I start to cry. Jacob scoops me up into his arms, careful of my incision.
He kisses the corner of my mouth, and then softly kisses my lips. He looks into my eyes, as if they were windows to my soul. I look away, as his gaze into me sets my body of fire. God, I truly love this man. “Elizabeth, look at me.”
I melt looking into those clear blue turquoise eyes of his. “I love you more than life itself. I love our boys more than life, more than my own life. I swear to you that I will take care of you. If you want I will write a contract stating that if anything does happen in our relationship you will be granted the house, all yours no questions asked. I am telling you I’m not going anywhere. You and the boys have me for life.”
“You said our … our boys?”
“Baby, they are our boys. I consider them my sons. I’ve been there since the beginning. Is it alright if I think of them as my sons?”
“I just didn’t think you felt like that. These boys are a massive responsibility. Are you really up to being a dad?”
“Baby, I want nothing more than to be a dad, to be a dad to our sons.”
“I love you, Jacob.”
“I love you so damn much. I promise you will be so very happy.”
“Now hand me those papers, I want to sign so we have a home to bring our boys home to.”
He kisses me with such force that I feel lightheaded by his kiss. He cradles me in his arms, where I feel safe and content. I feel his love pour out of him and into me with the ferocity of his kiss. He looks at me and whispers, “Forever baby, you’re mine forever.”
I look into his beautiful eyes and smile.
The next three days staying in the hospital were busy to say the least. Jacob finally got to hold the boys. What an amazing sight to see this big man, hold these tiny babies in his arm. It was so touching and heartwarming to see his love pour out for these tiny little human beings. He honestly does love my boys. To see him talk to them, and kiss them, was a moment that will be forever engrained in my memory. He helped me give the boys a bath, he praised me when I finally got to nurse them, and he even changed a few diapers. To see him go from Jacob to dad was mind boggling. He made the transformation so much more lucid than I did. I had months to plan, and I didn’t transition as easily as he did. My favorite time with him and the boys would be when we sat together. We got to hold the boys in the “kangaroo style” where the boys were skin to skin. Jacob would take two babies and they would be placed on his golden soft skin. Then he and the boys would be wrapped up in a blanket. I would have the other baby skin to skin and wrapped up. Jacob and I would sit in the rocking chairs side by side and quietly talk or even nap. It was the most relaxing and emotional part of my days, still I loved to look forward to that time together.
Grant, Evan, and Cole were developing well for being a few weeks early. Days were long with them in the hospital, but I had great nurses who were teaching me everything I needed to know about preemies. When I wasn’t with them in their room, I was either in the pump room expressing milk for them or in the cafeteria reading, sending pictures and emails to family about the babies’ development, and trying to see Jacob here and there. The hospital was my new home for now.
During my three day stay in the hospital Jacob hired a moving crew. Along with the help of my mother and father, they packed up my entire house. Anything of Grant’s or his and mine together was packed up and sent to a storage unit for me to go through when I was ready to deal with it. Jacob didn’t feel it was right to bring anything of Grant’s into “our” home which I agreed too. Jacob has been to the new house and to oversee the placement of furniture and belongings. I haven’t been to the new house yet but I want to go. I’m anxious to do something other than what I’ve been doing, but in all actuality I’m nervous. We still don’t have a buyer for my house, so it sits empty. Just as I have grieved and said my goodbyes to Grant and our past, I know I need to go say goodbye to the house one last time. I’m sure it is the first thing I’ll do once I’m ready to leave the hospital … another check mark on my life plan.
Oh where do I begin? We are a couple weeks into June and if I thought my life was a rollercoaster before, I was dead wrong. I’m in a category five hurricane, with nothing to hang on to. Ten days after we signed for the new house, I had the courage to go to my old house and say goodbye. I went alone with an air mattress in tow and decided to stay the night. I had a good cry, and the solitude did me some good. I thought a lot of the past and the memories the house held. I slept on the living room floor, but spent many moments sitting in each room. I believe I did more talking to Grant in that one night than I have in the past nine months. Locking the door to that house, I walked down the driveway one last time. Once I got into my truck I stared at the front of the house and said my final goodbye to my past with Grant. I pulled out my phone and took one last picture of the house. With the house in view and the sun was starting to rise over the roof top, I burst out in laughter. Knowing that Grant was giving me another sign. He was saying his goodbye with me.
That morning I met Jacob at our new home. I wanted to see the progress that was being made. He and my parents have done so much. My parents are still here, they have made the small “in-law” suite above the garage their new living quarters, which is what I intended for it to be. My mother surprised me with presents for the boys. I sat on the couch as I watched her bring out three boxes.
“Elizabeth, here you go. I made these for the boy
s and I hope you don’t mind that I went ahead and did it.”
I give her this perplexed look of confusion.
“What are you talking about, mom?”
“I went through Grant’s things and made something for the boys. I thought this would mean more than his items sitting in a box.”
She sits next to me with her hand on my knee. I slowly start to unwrap the present that says Evan’s name. I open the box and I inhale air into my lungs, but my body has somewhat forgot to exhale.
“Breathe, baby girl, it’s alright. If it’s too much pack it up and give it to them when they’re older.”
I pull out the handmade blanket made with Grant’s clothing. My mother has made a patch work quilt of Grants clothing. In the center of the blanket is a picture of Grant on his Harley. She even has patch worked motorcycles, in between his clothing. At the top she hand stitched Evan’s name and date of birth. I pull it to my chest and bury my face in the quilt.
My mother’s hand is rubbing my back, waiting patiently for a response from me. I pull my face out of the quilt, and fall into her for a hug. I whisper in her ear, “This is the most beautiful, treasured gift ever. Words can’t describe how thankful I am for these blankets for my boys. I love you.”
“I love you too, baby girl. I’m so glad you love it. I was terrified you would be so upset with me about what I did to his clothing.”
“I could never be upset. You gave them the best gift ever of their father.”
I open up Grant and Cole’s blanket. They are somewhat similar, but with different patterns to them. My mother must have worked night and day to make these. I wrap them up and place them back in the box. I don’t think I want the boys to use them now, but when they do ask about their father, I will have something to pull out and show them.
I don’t stay at the new house long. It feels awkward not having the boys or the dogs there yet. It doesn’t feel like home. So in the meantime, I have taken up residence up at the Ronald McDonald house. It is across the street from the boys. So I can come and be with them whenever I want. It works out great, because I see more of Jacob, too.
I’m informed that the boys will be going home on Sunday, depending on if they pass their car seat test. They have been in the hospital for 4 weeks, and I can’t wait to bring them home. I walk into their room, and see them all in a crib sleeping with one another. Once they were able to keep their body temp in check the nurse put them back together. She informed me that multiples want to be bundled together. They do much better that way. On top of their crib is a 5x7 card stock paper with the boys’ foot print, and a sweet Father’s Day poem, about one day filling their daddy’s shoes and walking in his footsteps. I feel wetness forming behind my eyes. The boys will be coming home on Jacob’s first Father’s Day. I take the card stock paper off their crib and place it in my purse. I want to surprise Jacob with these poems. I have an idea in my head of what to get Jacob. I don’t know if I can out do my gift that he gave me for Mother’s day, but I hope it’s close. For Mother’s day he got me a mother’s ring with three emeralds in a platinum setting. It is the most beautiful stone ring I have ever seen.
Sunday morning arrives, Father’s day. Jacob and I are lying in bed talking about what we are going to do. We are embracing each other and I don’t want to move from this bed. I know after today our lives are forever changed. We have only a few hours to think of ourselves. Our plan is not to leave until the hospital calls and tells us when the babies will be discharged.
Jacob rolls onto his side. I can feel he is hard for me. We kiss. I moan into his mouth at his amazing kisses. I am so turned out right now. Jacob’s lips part leaving my mouth, trailing over my chin, down the line of my throat. I arch my neck, offering him better access. While his tongue flicks and teases, I slowly slide my hand down his rock hard abs to his shaft. I slowly clench and stroke his cock. He moans into my neck. I can hear his breathing change. He pushes me onto my back and cups my breast. My beaded nipples press into his hot palms and when he caresses, shock waves of desire shoot straight to my core.
His mouth moves back up, his lips lightly kissing me, “I need you Elizabeth, I’m going to devour and consume you. I am not leaving this bed until I have touched, licked, and kissed every inch of your body. You are so fucking amazing, you blow me away!”
I can’t talk, my brain has become unresponsive, I can’t say anything. I’m thinking that this is too soon. I need to wait for a couple more weeks, like most women. Then again he is my doctor and should know what he is doing. I’ve waited for this moment for a very long time. I’ve waited to make love to him, his skin to my skin. I’ve imagined this moment many times, and I am going to embrace it for how it comes. I pull his neck towards me and kiss him. “You make me so happy. I love you.”
“Baby, I love you!”
He slides his hand down my side across my hip and then pushes his fingers into me. I whimpered as he slowly and methodically moved his fingers into me. With him moving his finger in and out of me. I keep moving my hand up and down his shaft to the speed of his fingers. “Baby, please stop. I will be done in no time of you keep doing that. I want to come inside of you, not on your hand.”
I let go as he repositions himself over me and slides down me. His mouth is over my nipple and he starts to suck on it gently. I am in heaven. This man does things to my body where I see stars. From my nipple down to my hip bone he kisses and licks my skin. He grasps my hips, and with his forearms held my thighs down to the bed. He gives my thighs soft sweet kisses, then all of a sudden his tongue impales me. Licking and tormenting my clit, my thighs started shaking, and my core was quivering.
“Let go, Elizabeth. Come for me, I want to taste you.”
With that I bite my bottom lip to hold back the scream. I grab the sheets for dear life as I come, my body trembling fiercely, sensitive muscles constricting frantically around his merciless licking. His groan vibrates through me. I start to move, thinking he has stopped. “Don’t move, I’m not done with you. I want more!”
He returns to my clit and sucks softly, tirelessly until I climax again. I’m sweating and shaking, slowly falling back to earth. “Baby, you taste heavenly,” he whispers to me as he moves his body up. He mouth caresses my mouth.
“I can taste myself on your lips.” I mumbled to him.
“You taste good, huh?”
I nod my head as we kiss. I could spend the rest of my life just kissing this man. His palms stroke up and down my abdomen. It felt rejuvenating knowing he was feeling just me. I felt the tip of his hardening length probing intimately while his mouth continues to devour mine. Jacob is gentle, but demanding, considerate but firm. His right hand slides along my waist and hip, than he cups my ass and lifts me.
He stretches himself on top of me, placing his left forearm to the side of my head. His fingers combing through my hair, our gazes are riveted with the love we feel for one another. His eyes are dark blue and I could see his love for me trying to escape his gaze on me. “Baby, I love you so fucking much.” He mumbles to me as I feel his harden length slowly enter my slick folds. I arch my chest into him as he was filling me. Stroke after stroke the tension was building fast. “Christ … baby, you feel amazing.” I could start to feel the pleasure ripple through my core.
“Jacob … I love you.” I whisper the words as I feel my muscles start to clench down on him. He buries his face in my neck and holds me as he plunges hard and fast. Within seconds we are coming together. We cry out each other’s names and fall into one another. We’re sweating and gasping for air. We can’t talk, but words don’t need to be said, we feel it. My body pulses and tingles. His face was still in the side of my neck. We can’t move, it feels like hours we stay in this position.
“Wow, that was … incredible.” I finally say to break the silence.
“Baby, I don’t want to leave this bed. I want to be inside of you all day and night.” With that he rises up and looks at me. “My God, you are beautiful and so fucking sexy. I�
�m completely and madly in love with you.”
I smile at him. “You’re the sexy one.” He just laughs and rolls over.
“Let’s shower I want round two to be hot and wet.”
“You are Mr. Insatiable, now.”
“Baby, do you know how long I waited for this? You haven’t seen anything yet. We have so much to make up for.”
With that he was on top of me, kissing and touching. “Alright, hot stuff, let’s get you hot and wet.” I say as I slide off the bed and shake my ass in front of him as I walk to the bathroom. Seconds later, I hear him running after me. I squeal as his picks me up and spins me around.
“I love to see you smile and to hear you laugh. You are beautiful, Elizabeth.”
Round two, hot, heavy, primal wet sex, took place in the shower. We are finally clean, dressed, and ready for a late breakfast. While at breakfast, we’re called by the boys’ nurse saying that they are ready for discharge. I hang up the phone and smile to Jacob. “We can bring our boys home.” I say, as I place the phone back in my purse. I pull out his present and place it in front of him. “Happy Father’s Day! I had no clue what to get since this was my first time shopping, but I promise to make it better next year. Thank you for taking on such a huge roll and being there for our boys. They are so lucky to have you as their daddy.”
For once Jacob is shocked. I can see the complete confusion and utter loss for words on his face. “I don’t know what to say, baby. You know I love those boys as if they are my blood. I would do anything for them and I promise to be the best daddy I can be.” He blows me a kiss and starts to open his gift. He opens it and the biggest smile spreads across his face. “This is the best gift ever. I’ll put it on my desk at work. Thank you, baby, I love it!” He keeps staring at the 5x7 picture frame that has surfboards on one side and palm trees on the other. In the middle is a picture of the boys. I got onesies for the boys, each with a different surf saying. Grant is wearing a light blue one that says, ‘I’d rather be surfing’ and Evan has on a white one that says ‘Daddy’s Lil Surfer’ and Cole has a mint green one that says ‘Crawl, Walk, Surf in that order’.
Life's Perfect Plan (The Life Series) Page 16