She was on the edge, her body bucking and arching in Wesley’s hands, as much as she could while he held her down, while he drove himself into her.
When he came, it was with a series of powerful thrusts and loud moans. The feel and sound of him coming inside her sent her over the edge, her mind shattering, her body spiraling upward on a surge of energy. She pushed herself back against Wesley, grinding against his hips as he buried his cock deep inside her.
Then it was over and she was falling forward onto the bed. Wesley’s weight shifted, pulling her over onto the mattress. He slid from her, and even that subtle movement made her cry out in ecstasy. She lay in the loose circle of his arms, her body rocketing with the aftershocks of her orgasm.
After a long time, she was aware of Wesley moving behind her. She opened her eyes and realized she was shivering.
“You’re half asleep, Scarlett. Let’s get you under the covers.”
“Am I staying the night?”
“It’d be pretty cold to turn you out now. It’s almost morning. You’ve gone through a lot tonight.”
He took her hand, and she stood at the edge of the bed, watching, while he made an effort to straighten out the tangle of sheets and blankets. Finally he nodded and she climbed into the bed. Wesley followed her, pulling the sheet over her shoulders.
Wesley cradled her against his chest, gently stroking her hair. After a few minutes, he reached up, turning off the light beside the bed.
“You said most girls don’t stay, the ones from Diablo at least.”
“Right. They usually don’t expect it, neither do I. Some end up falling asleep…” His voice trailed off.
“Do you ever bring girls home from Chase’s club?”
There was a beat of silence. “It’s not why I go there. Not part of that deal at all. I don’t expect it, and neither do they.”
“Can I ask you something?”
She felt the rumble of his laugh against her cheek. “You’ve already been asking me questions. But yeah. Go ahead. Ask away.”
“Aren’t you lonely sometimes? Don’t you miss having a girlfriend?”
The beat of silence was longer this time and she felt Wesley’s arm tense beneath her body.
“No one’s looking for commitment. The girls who come to Diablo are looking for a one-night thing, nothing more. Like I said, lots of times I don’t even know their names. The girls at Chase’s, I may see them there again, but they’re looking for a play partner, not a life partner.”
Scarlett thought about what he’d said. She’d thought last night that it seemed a lonely way to live, and she still felt the same way after being at Chase’s club.
“So let me ask you a question, Scarlett. What are you looking for? Why are you still here?”
The question took her off guard. “I’m…I wasn’t looking for anything.”
“You came to Diablo with some kind of agenda. You walked blind into the whole role-playing scene, but you didn’t walk blind into a club full of men, looking for something from them.”
The last thing Scarlett wanted to admit was why she’d gone to Diablo. She bit her lip, trying to think of a way to explain without actually telling him about Tyler.
“All I ask is the truth, Scarlett.”
And all Wesley had told her so far was the truth. She took a deep breath and even though the room was dark, she squeezed her eyes shut. “I came there to prove to myself that I’m desirable, that I wasn’t the fat girl my boyfriend had just dumped.”
“So you weren’t looking for a life partner either, were you? You were looking for something quick, something temporary. Something to make you feel better in the moment.”
“I guess…it’s just, after what Tyler said, I felt…unlovable. I guess I had something to prove to myself.”
His arm tightened around her shoulder in a brief hug. “You’re anything but unlovable, Scarlett. You’re a very sexy, desirable girl. And your ex sounds like an ass.”
She breathed out a soft laugh. “Yeah. I think he’s an ass, too.”
“So if you hadn’t run into Kyle first, you might have gone home with someone else.”
Scarlett cringed. “I could have, I guess. I’m really glad that I didn’t, though.”
Wesley was quiet, and after a few minutes she thought he’d fallen asleep. She let herself relax against him, let her mind drift back over the night. She thought about being tied to the cross, how exciting it had been, but scary at the same time. An image of Brooke rose up, the beautiful woman at the bar, a submissive, but clearly a confident woman.
And then, how she’d given up trying to be submissive, how the raging fire inside her took over her thoughts, took her out of any role-playing she thought she might be part of. Her mind drifted, taking a different path, imagining what it would have been like if she’d stayed in her role, stayed under obedience, let Wesley control the whole experience. She wasn’t sure if she was dreaming or awake as she envisioned herself still restrained on the cross, with Wesley taking her there, bringing a release for both of them that went beyond description.
She jerked, coming awake in the dark. Something had clicked into place. Being a submissive wasn’t about being a doormat, or being weak. It was about trust and an exchange of power, like Wesley had said earlier.
The realization came to her that she’d been the one holding the control all along, or at least some of it. More than she’d thought possible. If she’d tried to stay under obedience, she’d have been able to control what happened, by giving Wesley the power to control her and what he did to her. And by giving in to her desires, she’d given up control of herself, and Wesley lost any control he’d had.
Wesley was turned away from her, lying on his side. For a minute she thought about waking him, telling him what she’d discovered. She reached out, then pulled her hand back. There’d be time tomorrow.
She was on the verge of real sleep when Wesley’s words brought her wide awake.
“I’m glad you didn’t go home with someone else, either.” His voice was a sleepy, sexy rumble from the other side of the bed.
Scarlett was wide awake again, her heart taking an unexpected leap in her chest.
“I think I know what you were trying to show me tonight. About being a submissive, I mean.”
Wesley shifted, rolling over to face her. “What are you talking about?”
“The whole exchange of power thing, being submissive but being the one in control. I think I understand…or at least I understand more.” Her words tumbled over each other as she tried to capture her thoughts.
“I’m not quite sure I get what you’re saying, Scarlett. Want to run that by me again?”
Sudden impatience flared inside her, frustration with her inability to say what she meant. “It’s kind of hard to put into words—I’m not sure I can—but it’s about trust and by giving up control, it gives me the power to control how things go. If I’d tried a little bit harder tonight and not given in to how I was feeling, things would have been a lot different.”
Wesley reached out, pulling her against his chest in a sleepy hug. “So you had an epiphany?”
“Sort of, I guess. At least I think I understand what you were trying to do tonight.”
“Does that change how you feel about what happened at the club?”
“Yeah, it does.” Scarlett snuggled closer to Wesley. The heady scent of their sex rose around her, intimate and somehow comforting. “I gave up because I didn’t understand. I didn’t trust you all the way.”
“Could you learn to trust, to not give up…give up on me?”
Exhaustion was creeping up on Scarlett. Wesley’s voice sounded far away, lulling her. She stifled a yawn. “I don’t know. But I’d like to try.”
His arms briefly tightened around her, his voice muffled against her neck. “Thank you, Scarlett. That’s what I wanted to hear.”
Chapter Nine
Scarlett rolled over in bed, reluctantly opening one eye. The light hit her and she w
inced, pulling the covers over her face.
“Oh, fuck.” She hadn’t had anything to drink last night, but it felt like she’d finished an entire bottle by herself. Her head hurt and her muscles ached.
“Hey, you’re awake.”
She pulled the covers away from her face, squinting toward the voice. Wesley was standing in the doorway, a towel wrapped around his waist, looking rested and fresh and far sexier than any man had a right to look this early in the day. He crossed the room and sat on the edge of the bed. She caught the smile of soap and a hint of aftershave and the scent of Wesley beneath all that.
“How do you feel?”
“Kind of like crap. Actually, a lot like crap.” Somehow sitting in his bed, in the daylight, made her shy. She struggled to sit up, wincing as the sheets rubbed against her sensitive backside. “And my ass still hurts.”
But beneath all the parts that ached and her stinging ass, she realized she was happy, happy to be here with Wesley, happy to have the memories of being with him at the club buzzing through her head.
Wesley gave a gentle laugh. “You’ve been through a lot in the past couple days, physically and emotionally. It takes its toll on the body, especially if you’re not used to it. After your shower, I’ll rub some aloe on your sensitive parts.”
She laughed. “I’d like that.”
“You can talk about what happened, too. You know, the emotional aspect. Not everyone handles being restrained the same. Sometimes there’s emotional stuff that comes up later.”
Scarlett frowned. “You mean how I felt about last night? That I didn’t understand what you wanted?”
He shook his head. “Not really. I mean, we can talk about that, later. But after a really intense session, someone might cry, or want to be held, or they feel scared. The session might trigger a memory. Hard to know. Everyone’s different.”
She thought about it for a minute. “I guess I’d say I’m disappointed with myself, but you know that. Otherwise…”
The words she wanted to say were that she was fine, that she was happy. Because she was. But the words stuck in her throat. Somehow being happy felt wrong. Unexpected tears welled in her eyes and she tried unsuccessfully to blink them away. One slipped down her cheek.
“You’re not okay.” He leaned toward her, wiping away the errant tear. “Whatever it is, you can try to tell me.” The way he looked at her, the concern she saw in his eyes, made her heart clench.
“It’s just…” She sniffled. “I feel like how I feel is wrong. I shouldn’t feel this happy.”
“Euphoric? Like you’re on a high?”
She shook her head. “No. Not like the first night here, when I was…when you drugged me.” She didn’t miss the sudden flash of pain that crossed Wesley’s face. “I’m happy. Just…happy.”
Wesley held her gaze for a moment, and she thought he was trying hard not to laugh. “So you’re happy? Not sad, or conflicted, or working through some deep emotional trauma?” His façade was slipping, the dimples threatening to make an appearance.
“Yeah, I guess. I’m not upset by this at all.”
“No shame for enjoying being tied up?” Wesley was smiling now, dimples on full display.
His question took her off guard. “Shame? No, not at all.” Shame was the last thing she felt.
“So you’d be okay with telling your best friend about all this? About what happened?”
She shifted uneasily. Maybe he wasn’t comfortable with having this talked about. But it was too late now. She’d already told Gina all the gory details. “I already did. I mean, I told my friend about the first night. And where we were going last night.”
Wesley’s brows quirked briefly. “And what did she think?”
“She was worried for me, maybe not so much about going to the club, but that I was going with someone I didn’t know, maybe couldn’t trust. She thinks I’m not very savvy when it comes to men.” Scarlett rolled her eyes, the same gesture Gina would have used telling Scarlett the same thing. “She’s probably right. I’ve had some bad luck in the past. She thought I’m getting in over my head.”
“Do you think you’re in over your head?” She dropped her eyes for a moment, then looked up at Wesley, taking a deep breath.
“Truth?” She held his gaze, feigning confidence she wasn’t sure she had.
Wesley nodded. He was still sitting at the edge of the bed, and a not-so-subtle electricity filled the space between them. He wasn’t even touching her, but her body flushed with heat, remembering how his body felt against hers. She knew her cheeks were turning pink, as if could read her mind.
“If I am, I don’t care.”
His smile shifted, going a bit lopsided, lips quirked up at one corner. Scarlett wanted nothing more than to kiss that spot, right then and there. She leaned forward expectantly as his eyes moved over her face, gaze lingering over her mouth. Wesley leaned toward her and his towel gaped open. Wesley did nothing to cover himself, and Scarlett glanced down, her heart skipping a beat at the glimpse of his erection.
The little bubble of happiness she’d woken up with expanded. It hadn’t occurred to her that he’d feel the same, that what they had together could be something more than just her wanting to experiment and Wesley humoring her.
“I told you before, you’re not like other girls. And I mean it. I’ve had girls leave here in tears, ashamed that they wanted what happened, maybe even that they liked it. But still ashamed about what happened.”
He was so close she could feel the heat from his body. A welcome thud of arousal echoed through her, and she barely resisted the urge to reach out and touch him.
“Is being different a good thing?” Mentally she cringed at her blatant attempt at acceptance.
“It’s very good, Scarlett. Very good.”
He reached out, his hand on her cheek, stroking her skin. She leaned against his hand, closing her eyes at his touch, even as his fingers moved to the back of her head, winding through her hair, holding the nape of her neck. Her eyes blinked open.
“You liked being tied up. You said you liked the idea of being a submissive.”
She nodded, his words sending a thrill through her more potent than any touch could generate.
“Do you want to play, Scarlett? Will you be my submissive, here and now?”
She nodded again, eyes locked with dark eyes. His fingers tightened on the back of her neck. Slowly, he pulled her toward him and she eagerly anticipated his kiss.
But his other hand was moving and she glanced down, watching with wide eyes as he pulled the towel away from himself.
“I want you to do what I say, Scarlett. Do you understand?”
“Yes.”
His grip tightened even more, his hand pushing her head down toward his lap. She glanced down at him, at his cock rising up from the thatch of dark hair at the apex of his thighs.
Blow jobs weren’t at the top of the list of things Scarlett enjoyed performing. But now, with Wesley, in the role of submissive, she wanted him, wanted to taste him, to take him into her mouth and suck him until he was completely under her control.
She dropped her head as he laid back, his fingers still twined in her hair, but his grip loosening. She took him in one hand, stroking him slowly. He was hot and smooth and very hard.
“That’s not what I want, Scarlett. I want to be in your mouth, Scarlett.”
He was watching her, eyes dark, mesmerizing. She lowered her head further, eyes never leaving his, and took him slowly into her mouth.
His hips rose as he tipped his head back, eyes closing briefly, a moan coming from somewhere deep inside. He looked back down at her, his legs moving apart as his hips rolled back down against the bed.
She never looked away from him as she pulled him deeply into her mouth, then drawing him slowly out, licking and nibbling at him, swirling her tongue over the head of his cock.
His fingers played in her hair, his hand at the back of her head. Gradually she was aware of his palm holdi
ng her down, keeping her from pulling away from him. The thrust of his hips grew more forceful, the hand on her head more insistent, his sounds deeper, louder.
There was a moment of panic when she thought she’d choke, but her desire to please him, to give him what he wanted took over and she relaxed, letting him push into her mouth, over and over, both hands now wound in her hair. She closed her eyes, letting him set the pace, moving her head in time, the two of them locked in a primal dance.
She tasted him before he came, the hot saltiness mixing in her mouth. It was intoxicating and she sucked harder, driving him toward the edge. Beneath her, his hips flexed upward hard and he was there, filling her with his come, grunting with each thrust. She swallowed greedily, taking in as much as she could, the rest running back over his thick shaft.
Finally he let go of her, his arms falling to the bed. She held him a moment longer, slowly, gently licking him until he tugged at her arm. She pulled away from him, licking her lips.
She sat back, still kneeling between his legs, looking down at his face. His lips were parted, chest rising and falling more slowly now. His eyes were still closed and she glanced away from his face, taking in the smooth chest, the flat stomach. Her eyes drifted lower, looking at his cock lying on his stomach, slick with her spit, as it slowly softened.
A strange sense of power welled up inside her, competing with the fire inside her. She’d let him take control, direct her, dominate her, all for his pleasure. It should have pissed her off, to be told the how and when she was going to have to give a guy head.
But it wasn’t like that. She’d wanted to do this for him, to do whatever she could to give him pleasure. She wanted to submit.
“So, how was that?”
She looked up at Wesley, smiling. “I should be asking you that.”
He folded his arms behind his head. “And I’d tell you it was amazing. Thank you.”
“You’re welcome.”
“Come here.” He held out one arm and she climbed over his leg and lay down beside him.
“I wanted to know how that was for you, as a sub.” His voice was drowsy and she glanced over at his face. His mouth was relaxed, his eyes closed. “You did very well, by the way.”
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