He walked in the blow almost to Sea Gate, searching for his son, and then walked back again. On his way toward Brighton Beach he saw a man on the shore standing in the foaming surf. Leo hurried down the boardwalk stairs and onto the ribbed-sand beach. The man on the roaring shore was Harry, standing in water to the tops of his shoes.
Leo ran to his son. Harry, it was a mistake, excuse me, I’m sorry I opened your letter.
Harry did not move. He stood in the water, his eyes on the swelling leaden waves.
Harry, I’m frightened. Tell me what’s the matter. My son, have mercy on me.
I’m frightened of the world, Harry thought. It fills me with fright.
He said nothing.
A blast of wind lifted his father’s hat and carried it away over the beach. It looked as though it was going to be blown into the surf, but then the wind blew it toward the boardwalk, rolling like a wheel along the wet sand. Leo chased after his hat. He chased it one way, then another, then toward the water. The wind blew the hat against his legs and he caught it. By now he was crying. Breathless, he wiped his eyes with icy fingers and returned to his son at the edge of the water.
He is a lonely man. This is the type he is. He will always be lonely.
My son who made himself into a lonely man.
Harry, what can I say to you? All I can say to you is who says life is easy? Since when? It wasn’t for me and it isn’t for you. It’s life, that’s the way it is—what more can I say? But if a person don’t want to live what can he do if he’s dead? Nothing is nothing, it’s better to live.
Come home, Harry, he said. It’s cold here. You’ll catch a cold with your feet in the water.
Harry stood motionless in the water and after a while his father left. As he was leaving, the wind plucked his hat off his head and sent it rolling along the shore. He watched it go.
My father listens in the hallway. He follows me in the street. We meet at the edge of the water.
He runs after his hat.
My son stands with his feet in the ocean.
1968
Pictures of the Artist
Fidelman pissing in muddy water discovers water over his head. Modigliani wanders by searching by searchlight for his lost statues in Livorno canal. They told me to dump them in the canal, so I fucked them, I dumped them. Non ha viste? Macchè. How come that light works underwater? Hashish. If we wake we drown, says Fidelman. Chants de Maldoror. His eyeless face drained of blood but not yellow light, Modi goes up canal as Fidelman drifts down.
Woodcut. Knight, Death and the Devil. Diirer.
Au fond il s’est suicidé. Anon.
Broken rusting balls of Venus. Ah, to sculpt a perfect hole, the volume and gravity constant. Invent space. Surround matter with hole rather than vice versa. That would have won me enduring fame and fortune and spared me all this wandering.
Cathedral of Erotic Misery. Schwitters.
Everybody says you’re dead, otherwise why do you never write? Madonna Adoring the Child, Mater Dolorosa. Madonna della Peste. Long White Knights. Lives of the Saints. S. Sebastian, arrow collector, swimming in bloody sewer. Pictured transfixed with arrows. S. Denis, decapitated. Pictured holding his head. S. Agatha, breasts shorn clean, running enflamed. Painted carrying both bloody breasts in white salver. S. Stephen, crowned with rocks. Shown stoned. S. Lucy tearing out eyes for suitor smitten by same. Portrayed bearing two-eyed omelet on dish. S. Catherine, broken apart on spiked wheel. Pictured married to wheel. S. Lawrence, roasted on slow grill. I am roasted on one side. Now turn me over and eat Shown cooked but uneaten. S. Bartholomew, flayed alive. Standing with skin draped over skinned arm. S. Fima, eaten by rats. Pictured with happy young rat. S. Simon Zelotes, sawed in half. Shown with bleeding crosscut saw. S. Genet in prison, pictured with boys. S. Fidel Uomo, stuffing his ass with flowers.
Still Life with Herrings. S. Soutine.
He divideth the gefilte fish and matzos.
Drawing. Flights of birds over dark woods, sparrows, finches, thrushes, white doves, martins, swallows, eagles. Birds with human faces crapping human on whom they crap.
Wood sculpture. Man holding sacrificial goat. Cubist goat with triangular titties. Goat eating hanged goat.
The Enigma of Isidor Ducasse. Man Ray.
In this time Fidelman, after making studies of the work of Donatello, in particular of the Annunciation carved in stone for the Church of S. Croce, the S. George in armor, with all the beauty of youth and the courage of the knight, and the bald man known as Il Zuccone, from figures in the façade of Giotto’s Campanile, about whom it was said the sculptor, addressing his creation, would cry out, Speak, speak: In this time the American began to work in original images dug into the soil. To those who expressed astonishment regarding this extraordinary venture, Fidelman is said to have replied, Being a poor man I can neither purchase nor borrow hard or soft stone; therefore, since this is so, I create my figures as hollows in the earth. In sum, my material is the soil, my tools a pickax and shovel, my sculpture the act of digging rather than carving or assembling. However, the pleasure in creation is not less than that felt by Michelangelo.
After attempting first several huge ziggurats that because of the rains tumbled down like Towers of Babel, he began to work labyrinths and mazes dug in the earth and constructed in the form of jewels. Later he refined and simplified this method, building a succession of spontaneously placed holes, each a perfect square, which when seen together constituted a sculpture. These Fidelman exhibited throughout Italy in whatsoever place he came.
Having arrived in a city carrying his tools on his shoulder and a few possessions in a knotted bundle on his arm, the sculptor searched in the environs until he had come upon a small plot of land he could dig on without the formality of paying rent. Because this good fortune was not always possible, he was more than once rudely separated from his sculptures as they were in the act of being constructed and, by the tip of someone’s boot, ejected from the property whereon he worked, the hollows then being filled in by the angry landowners. For this reason the sculptor often chose public places and dug in parks, or squares, if this were possible, which to do so he sometimes pretended, when questioned by officials of the police, that he was an underground repairman sent there by the Municipality. If he was disbelieved by these and dragged off to jail, he lay several days recuperating from the efforts of his labors, not unpleasantly. There are worse places than jails, Fidelman is said to have said, and once I am set free I shall begin my sculptures in another place. To sum up, he dug where he could, yet not far from the marketplace where many of the inhabitants of the city passed by daily, and where, if he was not unlucky, the soil was friable and not too hard with rock to be dug. This task he performed, as was his custom, quickly and expertly. Just as Giotto is said to have been able to draw a perfect free-hand circle, so could Fidelman dig a perfect square hole without measurement. He arranged the sculptures singly or in pairs according to the necessity of the Art. These were about a braccio in volume, sometimes two, or two and a half if Fidelman was not too fatigued. The smaller sculpture took from two to three hours to construct, the larger perhaps five or six; and if the final grouping was to contain three pieces, this meant a long day indeed, and possibly two, of continual digging. There were times when because of weariness Fidelman would have compromised for a single-braccio piece; but in the end Art prevailed and he dug as he must to fulfill those forms that must be fulfilled.
After constructing his sculptures the artist, unwinding a canvas sign on stilts, advertised the exhibition. The admission requested was ten lire, which was paid to him in the roped-off entranceway, the artist standing with a container in his hand. Not many were enticed to visit the exhibition, especially when it snowed or rained, although Fidelman was heard to say that the weather did not the least harm to his sculptures, indeed sometimes improved them by changing volume and texture as well as affecting other qualities. And it was as though nature, which until now was acted upon by the artist, no
w acted upon the Art itself, an unexpected but satisfying happening, since thus were changed the forms of a form. Even on the most crowded days when more than several persons came to view his holes in the earth, the sculptor earned a meager sum, not more than two or three hundred lire at most. He well understood that his bread derived from the curious among the inhabitants, rather than from the true lovers of Art, but for this phenomenon took no responsibility since it was his need to create and not be concerned with the commerce of Art. Those few who came to the exhibit, they viewed the sculptures at times in amazement and disbelief, whether at the perfect constructions or at their own stupidity, if indeed they believed they were stupid, is not known. Some of the viewers, after gazing steadfastly at the sculptures, were like sheep in their expression, as if wondering whether they had been deceived; some were stony-faced, as if they knew they had been. But few complained aloud, being ashamed to admit their folly, if indeed it were folly. To the one or two who rudely questioned him, saying, Why do you pass off on us as sculpture an empty hole or two? the artist, with the greatest tact and courtesy, replied, It were well if you relaxed before my sculptures, if you mean to enjoy them, and yield yourself to the pleasure they evoke in the surprise of their forms. At these words he who had complained fell silent, not certain he had truly understood the significance of the work of Art he had seen. On occasion a visitor would speak to the artist to compliment him, which he received with gratitude. Eh, maestro, your sculptures touch my heart. I thank you from the bottom of my own, the artist is said to have replied, blowing his nose to hide the gratification that he felt.
There is a story told that in Naples in a small park near the broad avenue called Via Carracciola, one day a young man waited until the remaining other visitor had left the exhibit so that he might speak to the sculptor. Maestro, said he most earnestly, it distresses me to do so, but I must pray you to return to me the ten lire I paid for admission to your exhibit. I have seen no more than two square holes in the ground and am much dissatisfied. The fault lies in you that you have seen only holes, Fidelman is said to have replied. I cannot, however, return the admission fee to you, for doing so might cause me to lose confidence in my work. Why do you refuse me my just request? said the poorly attired young man, whose dark eyes, although intense and comely, were mournful. I ask for my young babes. My wife gave me money so that I might buy bread for our supper, of which we have little. We are poor folk and I have no steady work. Yet when I observed the sign calling attention to your sculptures, which though I looked for them I could see none visible, I was moved by curiosity, an enduring weakness of mine and the cause of much of my misery. It came into my heart that I must see these sculptures, so I gave up the ten lire, I will confess, in fear and trepidation, hoping to be edified and benefited although fearful I would not be. I hoped that your sculptures, since they are described on the banner as new in the history of Art, might teach me what I myself must make in order that I may fulfill my desire to be great in Art; but all I can see are two large holes, the one dug deeper by about a braccio than the other. Holes are of no use to me, my life being full of them, so I beg you to return the lire that I may hasten to the baker’s shop to buy the bread I was sent for.
After hearing him out, Fidelman is said to have answered, I do not as a rule explain my sculptures to the public, but since you are an attractive young man who has turned his thoughts to becoming an artist, I will say to you what your eyes have not seen, in order that you may be edified and benefited.
I hope that may be so, said the young man, although I doubt it.
Listen before you doubt. Primus, although the sculpture is more or less invisible it is sculpture nevertheless. Because you can’t see it doesn’t mean it isn’t there. As for use or uselessness, rather think that that is Art which is made by the artist to be Art. Secundus, you must keep in mind that any sculpture is a form existing at a point radiating in all directions, therefore since it is dug into the Italian earth the sculpture vibrates overtones of Italy’s Art, history, politics, religion; even nature as one experiences it in this country. There is also a metaphysic in relation of down to up, and vice versa, but I won’t pursue that matter now. Suffice to say, my sculpture is not unrelated, though not necessarily purposefully, to its environment, whether seen or unseen. Tertius, in relation to the above, it is impossible to describe the range of choices, conscious or unconscious, that exist in the creation of a single sculptured hole. However, let it be understood that choice, as I use the word in this context, means artistic freedom, for I do not in advance choose the exact form and position of the hole; it chooses me. The essential thing is to maintain contact with it as it is being achieved. If the artist loses contact with his hole, than which there is none like it in the universe, then the hole will not respond and the sculpture will fail. Thus I mean to show you that constructs of a sculpture which appear to be merely holes are, in truth, in the hands of the artist, elements of a conceptual work of Art.
You speak well, maestro, but I am dull-witted and find it difficult to comprehend such things. It would not surprise me that I forgot what you have so courteously explained before I arrive at the next piazza. May I not therefore have the ten lire back? I will be ever grateful to you.
Tough titty if you can’t comprehend Art, Fidelman is said to have replied. Fuck off now.
The youth left, sighing, without his ten lire, nor with bread for his babes.
Not long after he had departed, as it grew dusk, the sculptor took down the banner of his exhibit and gathered his tools so that he might fill in the sculpture and leave for another city. As he was making these preparations a stranger appeared, wrapped in the folds of a heavy cloak, although winter still hid in its cave and the fields were ripe with grain. The stranger’s nether limbs, clothed in coarse black stockings, were short and bowed, and his half-concealed visage, iron eyes in a leather face, caused the flesh on Fidelman’s neck to prickle and thicken. But the stranger, averting his glance and speaking pleasantly, yet as though to his own hands, and in the accent of one from a foreign land, graciously prayed the sculptor for permission to view his sculpture, the effect of which he had heard was extraordinary. He explained he had been delayed on board ship and apologized for appearing so late in the day. Fidelman, having recovered somewhat from his surprise at the stranger’s odd garments and countenance, is said to have replied it made no difference that he had come late so long as he paid the admission fee.
This the stranger did forthwith with a gold coin for which he neither asked nor received change. He glanced fleetingly at the sculpture and turned away as though dazzled, the which the sculptor is said to have wondered at.
But instead of departing the exhibit now that he had viewed it, however hastily, the stranger tarried, his back to that place where the sculpture stood fixed in the earth, the red sun sinking at his shoulders. As though reflecting still upon that he had seen, he consumed an apple, the core of which he tossed over his left shoulder into one of the holes of the sculpture; an act that is said to have angered Fidelman although he refrained from complaint, it may be because he feared this stranger was an agent of the police, so it were better he said nothing.
If you’ll excuse me, said the stranger at last, please explain to me what means these two holes that they have in them nothing but the dark inside?
The meaning lies in what they are as they seem to be, and the dark you note within, although I did not plan it so or put it there, may be thought of as an attribute of the aesthetic, Fidelman is said to have replied.
So what then did you put there?
To wit, the sculpture.
At that the stranger laughed, his laughter not unlike the bray of a goat. All I saw was nothing. To me, if you’ll pardon me, is a hole nothing. This I will prove to you. If you will look in the small hole there is now there an apple core. If not for this would be empty the hole. If empty would be there nothing.
Emptiness is not nothing if it has form.
Form, if you will e
xcuse me my expression, is not what is the whole of Art.
One might argue that, but neither is content if that’s what you intend to imply. Form may be and often is the content of Art.
You don’t say?
I do indeed.
The stranger spat on both of his hands and rubbed them together, a disagreeable odor rising from them.
In this case I will give you form.
Since the stranger stood now scarce visible in the dark, the sculptor began to be in great fear, his legs, in truth, trembling.
Who are you? Fidelman is said finally to have demanded.
I am also that youth that he is now dead in the Bay of Naples, that you would not give him back his poor ten lire so he could buy bread for his babies.
Are you not the devil? the sculptor is said to have cried out.
I am also him.
Quid ego feci?
This I will tell you. You have not yet learned what is the difference between something and nothing.
Bending for the shovel, the stranger smote the horrified Fidelman with its blade a resounding blow on the head, the sculptor toppling as though dead into the larger of the two holes he himself had dug. He-who-Fidelman-did-not-know then proceeded to shovel in earth until the sculpture and its creator were extinguished.
So it’s a grave, the stranger is said to have muttered. So now we got form but we also got content.
The Complete Stories Page 56