by E. L. Todd
“I did buy you a dream house,” I reminded her.
“And I remember rewarding you for that last night…”
“You might have to reward me a few more times,” I said with a dirty smirk.
My mom gave Scarlet a sad look. “It’ll happen for you guys soon. I would love to have two grand babies at the same time.” Then her mouth widened in a smile. “That would bring Andrew and I such a joy.”
“Our baby will be cuter,” I said.
Sean shook his head. “Not if it looks like Scarlet.”
“I’m still cuter.”
“No one’s baby will be cuter,” my dad said firmly. “They’re all beautiful.”
“Whatever.” I rolled my eyes.
I accomplished what I set out to do. My mom wasn’t thinking about her illness anymore. Now she was planning all the gifts and toys she’d buy her grandson when he arrived. Mission accomplished.
The doctor walked into the room, his chart in hand. “It’s nice to see you again, Mrs. Preston.”
“You too,” she said.
He introduced himself to the rest of us. “So, you’re here to discuss the benign mass?”
“Yes.” She looked at my dad. “My husband was insistent on hearing all the information.”
“Of course,” he said. “Well, based on the CAT scan from her last visit, it’s not cancerous or affecting her in any other way besides her mood swings. That’s very fortunate.”
My dad went into alpha mode. “So, your treatment is to supply no treatment?” My dad was always courteous and nice to everyone, even when they didn’t deserve it. But he was coming off cold. When it came to my mom, he was worse than Sean and I put together.
“No, not exactly,” the doctor said nervously. “The location of the tumor is very close to her frontal lobe. As you can imagine, any damage to the brain is detrimental. It can affect memory loss, motor skills, perception, everything. Since the tumor is causing her no harm, I suggest we don’t operate unless we absolutely need to.”
“But the tumor can become cancerous?”
He nodded. “It can. But there’s no guarantee it will.”
“What are the odds of that?”
“I can’t say,” the doctor said simply. “But I know the risk of operating is worse.”
“But if it does become cancerous, isn’t that harder to treat?” my dad pressed. “Wouldn’t it make more sense to remove the mass now entirely?”
“If the tumor did become cancerous, yes, I would agree,” the doctor said calmly. “But since we don’t know, I think leaving it alone is best.”
“Is this common?” my dad asked. “For people to live with tumors?”
“No,” he said. “But it’s really rare for them to form in the brain. Your wife has a special circumstance.”
My dad rubbed his chin and thought for a moment. “What other side effects are there besides her mood swings?”
He held his clipboard to his chest. “Well, technically the tumor is a clump of cells, so it’s utilizing blood cells for nutrition to continue living. Since it’s harboring extra blood, this does increase the odds of a stroke.”
My dad stared him down then kept rubbing his chin. “Any cardio vascular problems?”
“No,” the doctor said simply.
“Is it growing?” my dad asked.
“No.” The doctor shook his head. “Which is why I think we should leave it alone.”
My dad turned and looked out the window for a moment. Everyone was silent, watching him. My mom studied his face with her hands in her lap. My dad turned back around. “If we wanted to operate, who would you recommend?”’
“I can’t stress how danger—”
“Who do you recommend?” My dad held his ground.
“For an operation like this, I’d only go to the best. I know a neurosurgeon at UCSF. He’s the best at what he does. If you reject my medical advice, I insist you speak to him before you make any final decisions.”
“Can I have the number?”
“Certainly. I’ll be back shortly.” He walked out and gave us some privacy.
My dad looked at my mom but didn’t speak.
“Dad, the surgery sounds too risky,” Sean said.
I agreed. Why mess with something that seemed to be okay?
My dad held my mom’s hand. “What do you think, dear?”
“I don’t know,” she whispered. “I’d rather just live with it and hope for the best.”
My dad stared at their joined hands for a moment. “It’s too risky. We’re relying on something we have no control over. It could result in cancer, and by then, it will spread and affect other areas of the body. And if not that, you could suffer a stroke. Plus, you’ll be on medication for the rest of your life. I don’t like this uncertainty. I don’t like living in fear, constantly wondering if and when it will happen. I think we should talk to the doctor and consider operating. But I won’t pressure you to do anything.”
He made good points. And I trusted my dad more than anyone.
“What do you think, dear?” he asked.
“I…I don’t know. I guess we could talk to him.”
“I think we should,” my dad asked. “But this is entirely your decision. If he gives us good mortality odds, I think we should consider it. You’ll have a much better and stress free life.”
She rested her head against his chest and nodded.
The doctor returned with the information. He handed it to my father. “Good luck, Mr. Preston.”
“Thank you.”
He walked out without another word.
Now I was more stressed out than before. This was serious. If my mom had the surgery, she could have side effects that would impair her quality of life for the rest of her life. But if she didn’t, it could be even worse.
I squeezed Cassandra’s hand, knowing I needed her more than ever.
12
Sean
I knew I shouldn’t get upset because nothing had been decided yet, but it was hard not to. No matter what we decided, there was still risk involved. And both options could have disastrous repercussions. I felt bad for my dad. I could only imagine what he was going through.
I went into Mike’s office just for a pick-me-up. “Hey.”
“Hey.” He finished signing a report then tossed it aside.
I sat in front of his desk then played with my tie. “How are you holding up?”
“I’m okay.” He shrugged. “Cassandra wants to postpone the wedding.”
“Really?”
“I said no.”
“Why?”
“I know she wants to get married before she’s huge. And honestly, I want to get married before our baby gets here. I know the timing isn’t the best, but we could use a little joy right now.”
I nodded. “Yeah, we could.”
“No matter what Dad decides, at least Mom could see me get married. That way she would know both our sons made it, you know?”
“Stop talking like that.” He was acting like she was going to die. “We’ll figure this out and we’ll pull through. Mom isn’t going anywhere.”
“I hope so.” He sighed.
“Go through with the wedding,” I said firmly. “How’s that going anyway?”
“Cassandra has been running around taking care of all that. Monnique has been a big help too. It’s stressful and hectic, but it’s coming together.”
“How many people are invited?”
“Since it’s short notice, only a hundred.”
I nodded. “That’s a good number. It’ll be at the house?”
“Yeah. I think that’s perfect for us.”
“I’m sure it will be,” I said. “Now we need to pick a weekend for your bachelor party.”
He shrugged. “I really don’t care about that. It’s hard for me to go out and celebrate when I’m so scared about Mom.”
“She wouldn’t want that,” I said gently.
“I know.” He wouldn’t look at me. “They d
on’t deserve it. Dad is such a great guy. He shouldn’t have to go through this.”
“No. But that doesn’t change anything.”
He ran his fingers through his hair then rubbed his temple. “How’s knocking up your wife going?”
“It’s going…”
“You need me to step up?” The humor was in his eyes.
I glared at him. “No. But when she and I were together a few weeks ago, I think something happened…”
“Meaning?”
“I think she might be pregnant.”
“Seriously?” he asked. “Did she take a test?”
“No. But…Scarlet said she could feel it. Women are intuitive when it comes to their bodies.”
“God, I hope you’re right. That would be awesome.” A smile was on his face and his eyes were bright.
“It would. We both want it so much.”
“Our kids would be a few months apart. How cool would that be? They could pick up girls together and cause mischief.”
“You think they’ll be boys?”
“Yep. I don’t want to have a girl.”
“Why?” I asked. I was actually hoping for one.
“After treating women like shit, I couldn’t stand the idea of a guy thinking about my daughter in that way. It would be karma, so totally deserving, but I couldn’t handle that.”
I smirked. “Since you know from experience, you can pick out the dogs from a mile away. She’ll be fine.”
“She won’t be allowed to leave the house.”
Judging his tone, I believed him. “I hope Scarlet and I have a girl. Actually, I want one of each.”
He smirked at me. “I never thought we would sit together and talk about having kids. We’ve come a long way.”
I nodded. “We just found the right women to change our ways.”
“Yeah, we did.”
We sat quietly together. I played with my tie and he tapped his pen against the desk.
“I’m going to get back to work,” I said.
“Okay.”
Now that Mike was in a better mood, I was in a better mood. We always leaned on each other emotionally even if we never said it. Brothers were bonded in a special way.
I went back to my office then filled out paperwork. I kept thinking about Scarlet, wondering what she was doing. I wanted to see her bulging with my child, swollen and round. Why couldn’t that just happen for us? We both wanted it and we were both ready. I would try to knock her up as many times as I could, but we’d been trying to have a baby for months. What was the hold up?
Hours passed and I continued to work. I didn’t take lunch because I didn’t have an appetite. Cassandra and Mike got lunch together, but when they invited me, I said no. I just wanted to be alone.
When my day was finally over, I packed up my things and left my office. I never stayed at work overtime unless it was an emergency. It was easy to become a work alcoholic when you were making a lot of money, but spending time with my wife was more important. I told her I would be home at five o’ clock every day.
The drive home was boring. I listened to the radio and wondered about Mike and Cassandra’s wedding. It was coming up fast and there was lots to do. I was happy for my brother, but honestly, I was also jealous. He was so excited about this baby, and I wished I was excited for my own. I never told Scarlet that because I didn’t want to make her feel bad. I knew she was already stressed.
When I pulled into the driveway, I stared at the house for a moment before I walked in. The place was beautiful, and sometimes I couldn’t believe I lived here. I couldn’t believe I had the perfect wife and the perfect house. When I was in college, I never thought I would be a family man. But I was—big time.
I walked through the door then dropped my bag by the coat hanger. I immediately pulled off my jacket and loosened my tie. Wearing a suit all day was torture. But I really shouldn’t be complaining since my life was so wonderful. I really couldn’t ask for much more.
The usual smell of dinner wasn’t in the air. Scarlet was usually moving through the kitchen preparing dinner, but she wasn’t there. “Baby?”
“I’m here.” Her voice came from the living room.
I walked in and saw her stand in the middle of the room, tears in her eyes.
“Scarlet, what’s wrong?” I rushed to her, scared for my life. “Baby, tell me.”
She blinked her tears away. “I’m okay. It’s nothing bad…”
“Then why are you crying?” My hands grabbed her arms and steadied her. “What’s going on?”
A smile stretched on her face. Even though her cheeks were red and her eyes were wet, the excitement was unmistakable. She grabbed my hand and placed it on her stomach.
The action shot through me. I shook, too happy to process what was happening. Her meaning was clear. “You’re pregnant?”
She nodded and sniffed.
I’ve wanted to hear those words for so long. They hit me like a sheet of rain, soaking me to the bone. Joy like I never known moved through me, squeezing my heart and constricting my throat. “You’re sure?”
“I took five pregnancy tests today…they all said the same thing.”
I didn’t realize I was crying until the wetness fell on my cheeks. There was so much happiness in the room that I couldn’t take it. She and I had been parents without a child. Now we finally had our miracle. I would make it my life’s purpose to make sure our baby was healthy and safe. We wouldn’t lose it this time. I cupped her face and kissed her. “I’m so happy.”
“Me too.” She pressed her head to mine and sniffed.
“I knew this would happen for us. I knew it.”
She moved her face to my chest and breathed deeply. I held my wife silently, so happy that this was finally happening for us. We’d been waiting for months.
“I’ll make an appointment for the doctor,” I said. “We’ll go tomorrow.”
She didn’t argue with me. “Okay.”
I held her for a long time, treasuring the moment. We were finally starting our family.
13
Cortland
Something inside my head snapped. Seeing that magazine cover rearranged my mind. Everything that happened between Monnique and I seemed insignificant. My blood boiled because I was so pissed at what she did to me. I couldn’t just sweep it under the rug. I couldn’t just let it go. No.
She texted me throughout the week but I ignored her. When I didn’t respond, she asked me if everything was okay. Again, I didn’t respond. I’m sure it bothered her, made her worry, but I didn’t care. I was too pissed to speak to her. I thought I would calm down after a few days, but I didn’t. I left the magazine on my kitchen table, seeing the picture shine right in my face.
My entire life, I’d been the gentleman. I’d been the guy that treated women like they were on a pedestal. I always respected them and listened to them. But you know what they say; good guys finish last. And I was definitely in last place.
I was sick of being treated like shit. I was sick of being the one who had my shit together. I always put my girlfriend first in the relationship, making sure she had everything she needed. When would someone do that for me? When would I be able to rely on someone implicitly? These one-sided relationships were getting old. I wanted something equal. When I remembered everything Monnique did to me, I realized we weren’t equal. Everything was about her.
Well, fuck that. I’m done.
When two weeks had passed, she texted me.
Cortland, I’m worried about you. Why aren’t you talking to me?
I typed various messages, mean ones, and then deleted them. I wanted to scream at her, to make her feel as shitty as I did. We need to talk.
Okay.
I’m heading to your place. I grabbed the magazine and stormed out.
She opened the door before I even knocked. The fear on her face told me how frightening my appearance must have been. I could imagine the anger on my face. If it reflected what I felt in my heart, she
should be scared. “Cortland, what’s wrong?”
I walked into her apartment then slammed the door. “I’m done with you. I want nothing to do with you. Don’t text me. Don’t call me. Don’t even fucking look at me.” I never cursed at her, only when I was really pissed.
She flinched at the anger in my words. “What did I do?”
I wanted to squeeze her throat because I was so pissed. “What did you do? You fucking ripped me apart and dragged me through the mud. Fuck you, Monnique.” I never expressed how upset I was over her behavior. I was calm and understanding like I usually was. So now I finally snapped.
She seemed confused. “Cortland, I’m not following.”
“Really?” I spat. “So everything you did to me a few months ago is water under the bridge? I don’t think so.” I slammed the magazine on her kitchen table. She looked at it then swallowed the lump in her throat. “I saw this on a newsstand a few weeks ago. Clearly, your past is never going to go away.” I picked it up again and threw it at her. “You let this creep lick your neck—on camera. While I was sitting at home wondering if you were okay.” I shook my head. “God, I’m so stupid. You don’t deserve me. You don’t even deserve this conversation.”
Monnique took a deep breath then blinked her tears away. “I’m sorry. Honestly, I’m sorry.”
“Honestly? The fact you have to say that word means you aren’t always honest, and I just can’t handle that.” I paced around her apartment. “I was stupid for ever thinking we could get back together. Last time we spoke, I was going to come back to you and start all over. And then I saw the mini porno you did.” I glared at her, showing her as much hate as I could. “I’m sick of being treated like shit, Monnique. You left me and broke my heart, and then you pull this shit. Did you ever love me?”
Now she was sobbing. “I made a mistake, Cortland. I’ll regret it for as long as I live.”
“Good,” I said bitterly. “I’m done with you. I mean it. We’re never, ever, ever getting back together. I want nothing to do with you. Don’t fucking call me for any reason. I don’t care if you’re in trouble or you’re scared. As far as I’m concerned, I don’t exist. You can hang out with the gang all you want, but don’t expect me to speak to you or look at you. Are we clear?”