by Linda Ford
Jesse chuckled, heard Emily laugh, too. She came to his side, standing close enough that their arms brushed. There was something special about sharing the moment with them. He remained motionless enjoying the warmth of his arm against hers.
She grew quiet, staring toward the trees across the river, her expression serious.
He held his breath, afraid to intrude into her thoughts. Was she remembering?
She sighed and looked at him. Then let her gaze slip past him to Mikey and she grinned. “We better move on before he clears the bank of every last rock.”
“I have something special to show you.”
“You mean, this isn’t it?” Her eyes widened. “It gets better?”
He squinted at her, trying to decide if she teased or not, but he didn’t have long to wait as the corners of her mouth crinkled. With a little chuckle, he took her hand. “I can’t take any credit for the surprise I have for you. It’s all God’s creation.” He scooped Mikey into his other arm and they walked along the shore.
Mikey babbled away. Occasionally Jesse understood a word or two but not enough to have any idea of what the boy said. He grinned at Emily. “I wish I could speak Mikey. He might be able to tell us lots of things.”
“He certainly tries.”
The creek turned ahead of them. Rather than following the curve, he drew them toward a little meadow in the crook formed by the bend in the creek. He’d visited a few days ago so knew what to expect.
“This is one of my favorite places.”
“Because it’s so peaceful?”
He caught the hint of teasing in her voice and laughed. “Maybe in part, but mostly because there is always something new to see.”
She moved away, looking about at the tall grass, the tiny bluebells, and then she saw the flash of brilliant orange. “Wild tiger lilies. They’re beautiful. I only recall seeing them once before and that was—” She stared into the distance as she tried to remember.
He waited, silent, hopeful and nervous.
She twitched and let out a sigh, then turned back to admiring the flowers.
She hadn’t remembered. Tension slipped from his shoulders—a mixture of relief and disappointment.
“Would you like me to cut a few stems so you can take them home?”
“I don’t think so, thanks. There are plenty of flowers in your grandmother’s garden. It seems a shame to think of ripping them from where they belong. I’d prefer to leave these here for others to enjoy.”
He hadn’t thought of ripping them, as she said. Did her words signify something about her past?
They poked about for a bit longer before Mikey came to him.
“Up.” He lifted his arms to Jesse.
Jesse picked him up. “Did we tire you out?”
For an answer, Mikey rested his head on Jesse’s shoulder and stuck his thumb in his mouth.
“Let’s go home.” He turned back the way they had come.
She stumbled on the rough ground and caught herself by grabbing his elbow.
“Hold my arm,” he said. “The last thing we want is for you to take another tumble.”
She clung to him, her breathing rapid, as if she’d been running.
He stopped to look at her. “Are you okay?”
“Yes. I just relived those few seconds when the stagecoach went over the edge.” She shivered and her voice fell to a whisper. “It was terrifying.”
He shifted Mikey. The little guy protested being disturbed. “Shh. You’re okay.” He pulled Emily to his side. By rights, she should have died in the accident or been shot like the two men. “God protected you.” Somehow he managed to keep his voice steady. But to think he might have found this pair in the same condition as the driver and shotgun rider twisted his stomach into a knot.
“I know, and I’m grateful.” She sucked in air, but they only went a few more steps before she pulled away. “I’m fine. I know my life was in God’s hands at the time. Just as it is now.”
She sounded strong but he knew she must feel uncertainty, given her loss of memory.
They left the shelter of the trees. He glanced about, making certain no danger faced them. They crossed the open meadow. Again they headed for the alley. She might be strong but she wasn’t ready to deal with a bunch of strangers, not knowing who to trust and who to be fearful of.
They drew abreast of the manse. Annie flew out the back door and across the yard. “I was hoping to see you.”
“For your sake I was hoping to avoid her,” Jesse murmured.
“She’s safe, isn’t she?”
He wondered at her choice of words, but Annie had reached them and he couldn’t ask her about it. “Tomorrow after church we’re gathering at the ranch. Jesse, we want you to come, too, and bring Emily and Mikey.”
“I don’t know,” he replied. Emily had made it clear she wasn’t keen on meeting others.
Annie wasn’t above begging. “Please. It won’t be the same without you.”
“Emily isn’t really up to a lot of socializing.”
To his surprise, Emily spoke up. “I don’t mind. It might be interesting to meet the Marshalls I’ve heard so much about.”
Annie’s eyebrows rose. “What’s he been saying?”
Jesse spoke before Emily could answer. “I told her how you boss everyone around and rule the place with an iron rod.”
“You said that?” She jammed her fists to her hips.
“I guess you don’t so much anymore, now that you’re married to the preacher. Seems he’s made you straighten out a tad.”
“He what?” She looked about ready to explode.
Jesse laughed. “Careful, you’re about to prove me right.”
She dropped her hands and her expression cleared. “You are such a tease at times.” She shifted her gaze to Emily. “I hope he’s not giving you a hard time with his teasing.”
A hint of pink blossomed in Emily’s cheeks. She lowered her eyes then lifted them to Jesse. His heart almost stalled at the warmth in her gaze.
“He’s been nothing but a kind gentleman.”
Annie rumbled her lips. “Don’t be fooled into thinking he’s always kind and thoughtful.”
Jesse pretended offense. “When have I ever been anything but?”
“Like the time you and Conner locked the outhouse door when Logan was in there.”
“Annie, I was fourteen. Besides, Logan had hidden our knives, so he kind of deserved it.”
“I expect there’s a lot more to the story than that,” Emily said.
There was, but he certainly wasn’t going to admit it to her.
“Say you’ll come tomorrow.”
He turned to Emily. “Do you want to?”
She nodded. “I think so.”
“Then we’ll be there.”
“Thanks for inviting me,” Emily said to Annie.
They resumed their journey home. “You might not be thanking her after tomorrow.”
“Really? Why would that be?”
He couldn’t explain but had to try. “They’re big and rowdy.”
“Uh-huh.”
“Grandfather is a notorious matchmaker. He’ll try it with you, too.”
“He’ll understand that I am not ready for matchmaking. For all I know, I am married with a houseful of children.” She touched Mikey’s back. “Though it pains me to think I might have born children and can’t remember them. My own flesh and blood.”
He needed the reminder of who she might be.
Just as he needed to remember who he was. A man whose mother had been a soiled dove. A man with no knowledge of his father. There was a name for such a person but he refused to think it. He was a man who would never be accepted by women seeking marriage. He’d grown used to the fact, had accepted his unmarried state, but being with Emily had awakened longings he’d considered dead and buried.
He’d once dreamed of a woman who loved him, and of having children of his own to love and nourish. His arm tightened around Mikey an
d he rested his chin against the blond head of the boy. He would enjoy both of them for a day or two but remember it was only until he could unite them with the Newmans or other family.
Chapter Eight
It was Sunday, and Emily faced herself in the mirror. She wanted to go to church with Jesse and his grandmother. Truly she did. But to face all those people, not knowing who she was…well, she wondered how she would do it.
She squared her shoulders and fixed her hair. She would do it in God’s strength, and she’d never let anyone guess how uncomfortable it made her. Well, no one but Jesse. She’d leaned on him emotionally and physically since he’d rescued her.
The mirror over the chest of drawers showed her reflection. Too bad it didn’t reveal more about her than the shape of her face and color of her eyes. What she really wanted to see, needed to see, was who she was.
She looked away from the mirror at the sound of Mikey’s voice from downstairs. They’d had breakfast, and she’d dressed him in clean clothes and left him with Jesse while she changed into the gray dress that Annie had brought her. Mikey squealed and Jesse laughed—a deep melodious sound. She pictured Jesse chasing the boy, catching him and tossing him up into the air.
With her shoulder against the door frame, she stood there, listening not only to the two downstairs but to the thoughts in her head. Why did she hear the sound of many children laughing? Not hers. She was almost certain of that. Then whose?
And why had Mikey been sent with her?
With a deep sigh, she went down the stairs prepared to ignore her fears and face a church full of people. It wasn’t that it mattered they were strangers to her. What mattered more was that she was a stranger to herself.
She stepped into the living room, her presence announced by a bark from Muffin.
Jesse was bent over Mikey, tickling him, but straightened at Muffin’s greeting. His glance swept over her and he met her gaze.
“You look very nice.”
“Thank you. So do you.” His black hair gleamed. His face, cleanly shaven, still revealed the dark shadow of his whiskers. He wore black trousers, a crisp white shirt and a black vest.
“Where’s your star?” She’d gotten used to seeing it and feeling safe.
He turned back the lapel of his vest to reveal it pinned to his shirt.
“Good.”
He quirked an eyebrow, asking for an explanation.
Heat rose in her cheeks at how much she’d revealed about her dependence on him. “What if you need to be sheriff before we get back?” She turned her attention to the bird. “How are you, Dickie?”
The bird flapped his wings and scolded her.
“Dickie, behave yourself.” Gram hurried from the kitchen wearing a hat and carrying gloves.
Emily had neither. She could use the lack as an excuse to miss church. Except she needed to be with other believers and find strength in the worship service.
Gram hurried up the stairs and returned with gloves and a pretty gray bonnet. “I’d like you to use these.”
Both grateful and regretful that she would have no reason to stay away from the service, she thanked the woman and went to the kitchen and the little mirror to put on the bonnet.
“It’s a very fine bonnet. Looks good on you.” Jesse stood in the doorway watching, Mikey perched in his arms, looking as if he belonged there.
A warning bell sounded in her head. The little guy was becoming very fond of Jesse. He was going to be hurt when he had to leave to go wherever he would go now. Presumably back to where they came from and whoever had sent them, and there they would wait for the Newmans to make arrangements.
The sooner she remembered who she was, the better for everyone involved. She stared at the wall where the mirror hung, but she wasn’t looking at her reflection. Remember who you are. Why were you on the stagecoach? Who are your parents? Where are you from? Remember. You must remember. Her head began to ache. Tension pressed against her heart.
“Are you ready?”
She welcomed Jesse’s interruption. “Maybe going to church will bring back my memory.”
He nodded and escorted her out the door.
“Where’s Gram?”
“She left so she could get there a little early. She likes to sit in the church before it fills up. Says it helps prepare her for the service.”
Emily smiled. “That’s what my grandmother said, too.” She spoke slowly as the memory came. “My grandmother wore her gray hair in a bun and had a jolly laugh.” The memory ended. “I can’t bring forth a face or a name. What is wrong with me?” The question sounded like a wail.
“You’ve lost your memory. It’s frightening and frustrating. But the doctor was certain it would return.” He paused. “If it hasn’t come back by tomorrow morning, do you want to see the doctor again?”
“Yes! He might have something that will make it come back.”
They reached the church, and any more discussion about her lack of memory would have to wait.
Jesse paused. “I’ll introduce you as Miss Emily Smith. Most people will let it go at that. Word is getting around that you were on the stagecoach and had a blow to the head.”
Jesse grinned at Mikey. “They will have nothing but admiration for this fine young man.”
“Mem, mem, mem,” Mikey said.
She and Jesse met each other’s eyes and smiled. She squared her shoulders and nodded.
He understood and stepped forward, pausing at the first person they met. “Mrs. Abernathy, this is Miss Emily.”
Mrs. Abernathy. The woman Gram was sewing clothes for. Why could she remember that and not her own identity? She greeted the other woman and they moved on.
Jesse introduced her to each person as they made their way toward the steps.Then she saw Annie. She knew immediately that the tall men near her were her brothers and that the older man was her father. The white-haired man leaning on two canes would be her grandfather. He might be crippled, but his bearing and his expression still shouted authority. Like she’d said, these men were used to having their wishes obeyed.
The three women near Annie would be her sisters-in-law and the children were her nieces and nephews.
As Jesse led her toward the group, Emily tilted her chin upward. She had nothing to fear from these people. Do what’s right and good in the sight of the Lord: that it may be well with thee. A Bible verse from Deuteronomy 6:18. Why, she inwardly bemoaned, could she remember this detail but not who she was?
One by one Jesse introduced the Marshall family. Dawson and his wife, Isabelle and their ten-year-old daughter Mattie. Emily wondered if Isabelle was in the family way.
Then there was Conner and Kate and a little girl, Ellie, who was about a year and a half.
“Conner and I have been best friends for a long time,” Jesse said.
Conner planted a playful punch on his shoulder. “We’ve had some good times together.”
The third brother edged his way between them. “I’m Logan and this is my sweet wife, Sadie. Kids, introduce yourselves.”
An almost grown girl said her name was Beth. A young boy of eight, if she could remember the details Jesse had provided, said he was Sammy. A shy little blonde girl with big brown eyes said, “I’m Jeannie. I’m four.” She turned to Mikey. “How old are you?”
He tried to hold up three fingers but one kept escaping. “’Most free.” He worked hard to get the words out as clearly as possible.
Annie pulled her husband forward. “Hugh, this is Emily that I told you about.”
The man gave her a welcoming smile then excused himself. “I have to get to the front of the church.”
Annie drew a little boy from behind her. “This is Evan. He’s four.”
Emily met Bud Marshall, father of the Marshall brood.
The man on canes edged forward. “They leave the best to the last. That’s me. Everyone calls me Grandfather. I’d be honored if you’d do the same.”
She took the gnarled hand he held out to her. �
�It would be my honor.” She held his steady gaze. His blue eyes were as bright as any of his descendants’. He nodded as he studied her and she wondered what he saw.
“You’ll do just fine.”
“Grandfather!” Annie scolded.
“I’ll do for what?” Emily asked.
“Be an addition to our community.”
“I don’t think—”
Grandfather waved aside Annie’s protest. “I can tell you are a good and kind woman. Just the sort we need around here.”
Annie mumbled something about him being surrounded by good, kind women but Emily only vaguely heard her. And Annie’s grandfather ignored her completely.
“How can you say that?” Emily asked. “You don’t even know me.”
“At my age, I can look into a person’s eyes and know what’s in here.” He patted his chest.
“Oh, just humor him,” Annie said. “He’s getting old and crotchety.”
Grandfather scowled at his granddaughter. “You’ve gotten sharp-tongued since you married Hugh. And him a preacher. One would think—”
But whatever he’d been about to say was drowned out by his grandsons’ laughter.
Conner sobered enough to explain. “She’s always been that way. No need to blame the preacher.”
It was time to go inside, and Jesse guided her to a pew. The Marshalls sat ahead, their family taking up several rows.
The grandfather might be old. For all she knew, he said things that were far-fetched, and yet his words that she was a good and kind person encouraged her. Now, if only she could discover who that person was.
Hugh took his place at the pulpit and led them in singing hymns. She knew every word of the songs. Beside her Jesse held Mikey, who snuggled into his arms. It didn’t surprise her that Jesse had a good voice. It was a joy to sing with him.
Then Hugh opened his Bible. “Today I want to talk about the one lost sheep. No one is ever lost in God’s sight.” He proceeded to tell how his son had been lost to him but God had enabled him to find the boy. “Whether you are lost in the woods or lost spiritually, God sees you. Ask Him to help you find your way back to home and Him.”