Love Unmatched (Unexpected)

by Leigh, Anne

  Things were definitely working our way.

  Our wedding was in two weeks, two weeks before her due date. It was really cutting it close, but when my team made it into the playoffs it had put a damper on our wedding plans. Having our wedding moved back was the best that we could do under the circumstances. Sedona was trying to change my mind about it. She even created a power point presentation to show me the pros and cons of postponing our wedding until after the baby. She reasoned that we’d have more time to prepare and we’d both be less stressed about it. I was having none of that. I wanted our wedding before she had our baby.

  I tried calling her cell again. It kept ringing. Maybe she was inside the hospital already. Sometimes the cell phone signal was low inside that building.

  I was about to call her again when Kieran’s number flashed on the screen. He was probably going to bug me about his man of honor status again. I’ve already told him that it wouldn’t look odd that he would be standing with Sedona and her bridesmaids during the ceremony. It was our wedding. We could do whatever the hell we wanted.

  “‘Sup, man?” I smiled.

  “Zander,” his voice was serious, “It’s about Sedona.”

  The way he said it sent chills up my spine.

  “What about her? She went to grab some forms at the hospital,” I replied.

  “Sedona…” his voice broke. “She got into an accident Zander. You need to get to her now.”

  Words left me. My hands started shaking. “What do you mean an accident?”

  “She got hit by a car.” Was Kieran crying? “She’s at New York State University Hospital. I’ll try to get there as soon as I can. I’m trying to contact her dad.”

  I didn’t remember the phone dropping onto the floor. All I knew was that I was running through the doors as fast I could. I did not remember anything after that.

  I found myself standing at New York State University Hospital’s emergency room, unwilling to believe that this was happening. Everything seemed surreal.

  I managed to ask the receptionist at the ER, “Sedona Mackenzie, my fiancé – she was in an accident. Where is she?”

  She typed something on the computer and called someone on the phone.

  My hands were shaking, my legs were trembling, and my teeth were grinding against each other tightly.

  I needed to see her now.

  “Can I see some I.D.?” she inquired.

  I immediately pulled my wallet out of my left jean pocket and handed my driver’s license to her.

  “I need to see her now,” my voice was shaky.

  “She’s still being seen by the doctors,” she said, trying to comfort me. “Someone will inform you of her status in a few minutes.”

  My eyes started to burn. “Is she…alive?” I rasped.

  “A doctor will see you in a few minutes sir,” she explained.

  What was I supposed to do? I clenched my fists, nodded at her, and took a seat.

  It could have been seconds, minutes, hours that passed by. I would never know.

  My mind was whirling a constant stream of incoherent thoughts. My body was not my own. It was like I was trapped in this room where I had no means of escape. I have never felt fear like this. It was crippling. Alarming. Paralyzing.

  “Are you Sedona Mackenzie’s family?” A male doctor with grayish-white hair asked as he approached me.

  “I am,” I answered and stood up. “Is she okay? Can I see her?”

  He looked at me for a few seconds. Was that pity in his eyes?

  Oh hell no.

  She has to be alive. She could not leave me like this.

  “I am Doctor Felton, her attending surgeon,” he said. “Ms. Mackenzie has just come out of surgery. We had to stop the bleeding in her lungs. She has also sustained blunt trauma because of the way she fell and the impact of the collision. She’s stable for now, but we don’t know for how long. Since she’s pregnant it puts us in a precarious scenario. If the bleeding continues, we’re going to have to decide on our next steps.”

  He continued, “We might not have a choice…if her bleeding persists, we have to deliver the baby. It could be her or the baby.”

  Her or the baby? We didn’t even know if our baby was a boy or a girl. How did I choose between the woman whom I loved with every breath that I took and the life inside of her, who was the product of our love?

  I stared at this guy.

  For the first time in my life, I found myself begging to a stranger. To a man who held the reason for my living in his hands.

  “Please…” my voice came out as a whispered plea, and my legs were unable to support me. I slid on the chair, “save her, please.”

  I was asking for her.

  I was choosing her.

  I would always choose her.

  “I’ll try, son,” he said. “We’ll try. We’ll do our best.”

  He turned his back and left.

  *****

  I was not prepared for this.

  I would never be prepared for this.

  No one should ever have to prepare for this.

  Seeing her in this hospital bed, with an assortment of tubes hanging out from her body, she looked so peaceful.

  The nurse had informed me that I could see her now. The room was eerily quiet. The occasional, faint sounds of a beep reverberated inside the room.

  I moved closer to the bed. A white blanket covered half of her body.

  Her eyes were closed as I reached up to touch her cheek. She felt cold — maybe she needed more blankets.

  I kissed her forehead. The antiseptic hospital smell emanated around me, clawing at my insides. But her hair…her hair still smelled like strawberries and peaches.

  “Are you going to be okay?” The nurse had entered the room.

  I was not going to be okay. I tipped my head slightly in acknowledgment.

  “Let us know if you need anything,” she said.

  I needed her to wake up.

  I sat on the chair close to the bed and held her left hand; the hand where she wore my ring. The nurse had given me her ring earlier. I slowly slid it back on her finger. I didn’t care what they told me, that she couldn’t wear any jewelry. She needed a reminder of me on her body.

  All the emotions I have been holding for God-knows-how-long came down in barrels.

  “Babe, if you can hear me,” I whispered, close to her left ear, “I need you to do something for me…” I held her hand tighter. A beep sounded from a machine. “Come back to me.” Tears fell from my face. It was probably soaking through my shirt, but I did not care. I kissed her hand.

  It was true what people said. “When you felt that you were going to lose everything, you suddenly remembered everything that you had.”

  I pressed my forehead onto her hand. The memories came flooding into me.

  The first time I saw her face, her eyes. The first time she smiled at me. The first time she asked me to be hers. The way she looked when she told me about our baby. The look on her face each time she said she loved me.

  I heard a voice come through the door, “There are some visitors waiting for you Mr. Zobowski.”

  Only one to two people were allowed in the intensive care unit. At least I remembered that part, when the nurse explained it to me.

  I kissed her hand again. “I’ll be back, babe.” Her form was so still, so unmoving.

  In the waiting room I saw Kieran, my parents, and Sedona’s dad. They were all here. They looked like a mess. But they probably looked ten times better than I did.

  Kieran’s eyes were bloodshot. His shoulders looked like they were going to give out anytime soon.

  Sloane asked, “I need to see her. How is she? What’s going on?”

  I explained the best way I could. “The doctor said that she is still under anesthesia. She had a lot of bleeding in her lungs, so she has some tubes to help drain the blood that was building up. They had to do an emergency C-section because of the bleeding.”

  “Is she going to
be okay?” Kieran’s question sounded like a prayer.

  I croaked, “She’s not out of the woods yet. They’re keeping a close watch on her.”

  Then Kieran reached out, put his arms out, and hugged me. For a long time. Aside from Sedona’s dad, if there was one person who understood the depth of my love for Sedona, it would be Kieran. He had known her all her life and had protected her throughout the years.

  My mom was crying her eyes out. “What about the baby?”

  “I haven’t seen her,” I answered truthfully. “She’s in the neonatal intensive care unit. The last update I received from the NICU doctor was that she’s doing okay.”

  I wanted to see her when Sedona woke up, so that we could meet our daughter together, as we had promised to each other.

  Sloane, Kieran, and my parents took turns visiting Sedona. They also went to the NICU to see our baby.

  They all advised me to go back to the apartment to get some rest, but I handed my parents the apartment keys. I was not going back to our place without her. They said that they would grab some clothes for me and her.

  After Sloane and my parents left, Kieran and I sat side by side in the waiting room.

  He said, his expression morose, “I think she was trying to get away from the paparazzi.”

  I clenched my jaw, my teeth gnashed inside my mouth.

  I would burn those motherfuckers to hell.

  “She loves you too much,” he reflected. “She won’t leave you, you know?”

  “I hope so,” I answered.

  *****

  Sedona

  My throat burned. Like something was stuck in there, pulled out, and left an aching, caustic sensation.

  I coughed, and my chest hurt. My body felt like it was slapped in front of a ten-wheeler. Breathing was a chore.

  I heard the sounds of alarms so close to my ears.

  Then I heard Zander’s voice say, “Baby, you’re awake.”

  I opened my eyes slowly.

  The tears in his eyes were the first things I noticed. I tried to reach up to his face to wipe them away. An alarm went off again.

  I saw a nurse in bright yellow scrubs step closer to my bed, “It’s about time you woke up, young lady. Everyone here has been waiting on you.”

  I tried to smile, but the edges of my mouth were so dry.

  “You won’t be able to go anywhere yet. But if you keep this up, by tomorrow you’ll be able to see your baby.”

  Baby?

  Everything was coming back to me now; I had been crossing the street, and then I blacked out. My baby was not due for a few more weeks.

  “Zander? Our baby?” I asked, my voice rough.

  “We’ll meet her together.” His blue-green eyes looked so weary, and his hand was touching my hair. “Just get better.”

  “A daughter?” I felt the twinge in my eyes grow into a burn.

  “A daughter,” he said. “You gave me a daughter. My mom said that she’s so beautiful.”

  I nodded. I felt so tired.

  Tomorrow. Tomorrow, I’ll meet her.

  *****

  The next morning I saw Kieran, my dad, Zander’s parents, Tanya, Brynn, and Nalee. John and Xavier were there too. My former co-workers also came in to see me. Even Dr. Klinefelder stopped by to say hello. Zander ensured that there was a distance of at least a foot that separated Klinefelder and I. I saw the relief in everyone’s eyes. Kieran hugged me the longest. They had all met our daughter.

  Xavier had commented, “That little lady is going to be a heartbreaker.”

  John had his say as well.“She cries like her father though, when she doesn’t get her milk. Boy, she’s going to break people’s hearts with her loud cries.”

  Everyone laughed at that. I could always count on them to lighten the mood.

  A few times I heard Zander talking to his parents and my dad about filing charges against the paparazzi. His dad said that he would talk to the family lawyer about it, and if charges could not be filed for whatever reason, he would ensure that changes could be implemented to lessen the invasiveness of the paparazzi into popular figures and famous people’s lives by contacting his close friend who was a senator.

  Zander never left my side. Right now, he was helping me get situated more comfortably on the bed. He aided the nursing assistant with my bed bath this morning. He lifted me up from the bed so that she could change the bed sheets. When I winced at surge of pain on my left side, his eyes looked so worried and he was ready to call the nurse. I stopped him and asked the nursing assistant to keep going. I wanted to feel fresh. I saw that there were bandages on the side of my body. It hurt, but at least I didn’t have any more tubes sticking out of me.

  An hour later I couldn’t take it anymore.

  I voiced out my request to Zander, telling him, “I want to meet her now.” He was leaning against the bed. He looked better today than yesterday. He was wearing a dark green shirt and jeans. He mentioned that his parents went to our place and grabbed us some clothes. They also brought some clothes for our baby.

  He kissed me on the top side of my head. “Okay, let me call the nurse.”

  The nurse came in, and when she saw that I was fit to go, she helped me rearrange the IV line on my left arm and attached it on the pole of the wheelchair that I was going to ride in. I did not have enough strength to walk that many steps yet.

  Zander navigated us from the 4th floor to the 6th floor. When we reached the double locked doors, he used the outside intercom to let the staff know that we were coming in.

  He scrubbed both of his hands and helped me scrub mine under the big faucet. A sign that said “Visitors need to scrub in before entering the unit” was posted. This was basic infection control policy. The babies in the NICU were fragile; they needed to be protected from any germs and bacteria brought by visitors, usually through their hands.

  After entering the NICU, Zander pushed my wheelchair, approaching an isolette. The isolette was a home for babies who needed temperature regulation, humidity, and oxygenation. I was familiar with it. I had been in the NICU during my nursing rotation. I just never thought my baby would be on it.

  The top of the isolette was covered with a blanket to shield the light from coming through. I read the sign on a 3 x 5 pink paper, taped on the front of it, ‘Baby Girl Mackenzie, 5 lbs, 10 oz; 18 ½ inches’.

  I tightly gripped Zander’s left hand.

  A tall nurse with gentle eyes said, “Let me check your band.” She was referring to the medical bracelet on my right wrist and on Zander’s left wrist. She was making sure that we were the parents. She updated us on the status of our baby. “She’s doing great. She no longer needs additional oxygen, and she will most likely go to the intermediate care nursery tomorrow. Do you want to see her?”

  Did I? I wanted to stand up and open her isolette.

  I nodded my head.

  The nurse unlatched the opening on the sides of the isolette. I peeked in and clasped her hand.

  You know when they say there is no love as overpowering as a mother’s love?

  The moment I touched her tiny fingers, I felt it then. She had chubby, red cheeks, with tufts of dark blonde hair that were gathered on her head, and her eyes were open. It was like she knew that mommy and daddy were finally here. Zander was now sitting on a chair by my side, and he was touching our baby’s feet.

  “She’s so beautiful,” he said in awe.

  She smiled at us. Just then I knew. She had a smile like mine, but she had her daddy’s eyes. The nurse had removed the blanket from the top of the isolette. Her eyes looked so blue right now. I had a feeling that they would have green in them in due time.

  I grazed her face with my fingertips. “Hi baby, I’m your mommy.” I tilted my head towards Zander. “And this is your daddy.”

  She let out a tiny hiccup and pushed her tiny head closer to my hand.

  “Do you want to hold her?” The nurse asked.

  “Yes, please.” I grasped at the intensity of my emot
ions. Zander and I had created this beautiful baby. She was the embodiment of our love. She was not supposed to be here yet. But like everything else in our lives, she was here now, when fate deemed it to be.

  The nurse placed a pillow against my leg, wrapped my baby like a burrito, and then placed her on top of me. Some wires were sticking out of her, and I was careful not to have them tangled up while I held her. Zander’s head was inches away from mine. We didn’t need words. He rested his right hand on top of mine as I was softly caressing our baby’s face.