His words slid through her like an intimate caress and her whole body seemed to catch fire.
He kissed her, a slow, deep mating of tongue and mouth. She wrapped her arms around him, her love for him a heavy weight in her chest.
She was doomed to heartbreak with this man. She knew it as surely as she knew the names of every muscle and tendon his mouth and hands explored, but she wouldn’t waste this moment worrying about the future.
Right now she would savor this moment and add it to her precious store of memories.
He kissed her deeply, intensely, as if to memorize each centimeter of her mouth, until she was weak and trembling. After years of second and third dates—and nothing more—she had become a bit of a connoisseur of kissing. She had never experienced this wild desperation, the edginess of his mouth on hers, as if he were afraid this was his last kiss and he wanted to make it matter.
While he kissed her, his hands began to wander over those curves and hollows and dark places he had talked about, until she was breathless and near frantic with need.
Finally, when they had touched and tasted and explored until she lost any coherent thought, he found the tight, aching bud between her thighs and she nearly rocketed off the bed.
He made a low, raw sound and, still kissing her, began to dance his fingers across her. Heat and desire and love wrapped her tightly in a cocoon of need, tighter and tighter until she couldn’t breathe; her heart raced and her vision blurred. Finally he thrust a finger deep inside her and she cried out his name as the cocoon burst free and she soared.
When she fluttered back to earth, she found him watching her with those hot, hungry eyes. She pulled him to her for another kiss, one hand fisted in his hair, the other clutching him to her.
“I have to be inside,” he groaned.
“Oh yes,” she said fervently, then added a polite “please.”
He laughed hoarsely. “I’m afraid I won’t last very long,” he said as he reached for one of the foil packets from the bedside table. “It’s been so long for me.”
She was breathless—nervous and still painfully aroused at once. “That’s all right. We can take it slow the next time.”
His eyes darkened at her inference that once wouldn’t be enough, then he entered her with one powerful motion.
Though she tried to brace herself for it, Kate stiffened and swallowed her instinctive cry as she felt the resistance of her hymen break free with a deep, burning ache.
Hunter froze, his features stunned. “You’re a frigging virgin!”
She had the completely insane urge to giggle at the oxymoron as the first pain began to ease. In the face of his fury, she decided it probably wouldn’t be a good idea.
“Well, technically, not anymore.”
He held himself rigid, unmoving for a few seconds, long enough for her to marvel at the novel, wonderful sensation. A man was inside her! Not just any man but Hunter Bradshaw. The man she had loved forever, long before she even could admit it to herself.
The ache all but forgotten, Kate wrapped her arms around him and arched to angle him in deeper. Hunter’s breathing was ragged, tortured, his neck corded with veins.
After a moment of holding himself absolutely still, he groaned. “I can’t stop. I’m sorry.”
“I don’t want you to stop.” She kissed him, her arms tight around him, as he surged deep inside her.
He drove into her no more than four or five times then with a hoarse cry he found release.
Kate held him close as long as he would let her, until his frenzied heartbeat slowed and his ragged breathing returned almost to normal.
After a moment, he slipped out of her arms and rose without a word, crossing to the bathroom to take care of the condom. She heard running water and then he returned to the bed with a warm washcloth for her to wash the streaky blood off her thighs.
“Why didn’t you tell me?”
The quiet anger in his voice, so at odds with his considerate gesture, sliced at her composure but she took a deep breath and forced herself to meet his baffled, angry gaze. “Why? What difference does it make?”
“One hell of a lot! You know it does! I never would have let things go so far if I had known you had never been with a man before.”
“Then I’m glad I didn’t tell you. I wanted to make love to you, Hunter. I’m a grown woman and can make my own choices. Tonight, this was what I wanted.”
“Why?”
He looked genuinely baffled at her behavior. She wanted to tell him she loved him, but she knew he wouldn’t welcome the information.
Finally she shrugged, heat crawling up her cheekbones. “The moment seemed right,” she said. She didn’t want him to know the depth of her emotions—the last thing she wanted right now in addition to his anger was his pity—so she tried for a light, casual tone.
“You were here—a strong, warm, attractive man who appeared more than willing. Maybe I decided I was tired of wondering what all the fuss is about.”
She regretted her glibness when a feral expression crossed his features. “I don’t like being used, Kate. If you wanted a stud, you’re looking in the wrong pasture.”
Tears burned at his coldness but she knew she deserved it. “If that’s all I wanted, why would I still be a virgin at twenty-six years old?”
He yanked on his jeans. “That’s a question I would certainly like to know the answer to.”
Kate drew the sheet around her, compelled to be honest about this, at least. “I’ve always thought I was too picky. Sex just never seemed a priority to me. I had my goals and I preferred to focus on them, not on anything that might be distracting. I never dated anyone who seemed worth the energy for all of this.”
He continued watching her out of hooded eyes and she yearned for even a hint of softness in him.
“During one of her psych classes, Taylor told me I never date the same man more than a few times as a self-protective mechanism. She believed I use my experiences in childhood as a shield and a crutch. I don’t let people too close because I look at everyone through the suspicious, wary eyes of a child who has been hurt one too many times.
“I don’t know if either of those theories is true, mine or Taylor’s,” she went on. “I only know this was my choice, Hunter. One I’m glad I made, even if it will likely make things a little awkward between us for a while.”
He made a disbelieving sound, as if to imply they had moved beyond awkward into excruciatingly uncomfortable.
“You should have told me,” he said again. “At the least, I could have made things easier for you and not attacked you like some rutting beast.”
“I’m sorry.” The words seemed inadequate but she had nothing else to offer.
He studied her for a moment then he picked up his shirt. “I think it’s best if I leave now,” he said, his voice low, reserved. “Tomorrow will be a long day of driving to Miami.”
She absorbed his rejection without even flinching. Determined to hide her hurt, she lifted her chin.
“I don’t regret what happened between us, Hunter. Most of it was wonderful, until the last part there and even that was starting to feel good. I don’t want you to regret it either.”
He opened his mouth to say something, then closed it again and walked toward the door.
“Good night,” he said brusquely, then he walked out into the hall. A moment later she heard the click of the door to the room next to hers, then all was silent.
Kate let out a long, pained breath. She meant what she’d said to him. She didn’t regret making love to him, even with the empty bed and the empty space in her heart he had left behind.
She had a feeling years from now she would remember this wild-hair trip to Florida as one of those pivotal, life-changing events. Making love to Hunter would certainly qualify as pivotal in any woman’s life, especially one who had loved him for years.
He might leave her heart bruised and her body aching. But every single moment had been worth the price of admissio
n for the chance to be in his arms.
Kate had a feeling she was in for a long, uncomfortable day.
For one thing, a few restless hours of sleep did not put her at her best for traveling. She also had a whole range of sore muscles she hadn’t expected from their extracurricular activities the night before.
To top it all off, her traveling companion could hardly force himself to look at her in the early morning sunlight.
“Ready?” Hunter asked, his voice terse and his eyes shielded behind Ray-Bans the color of espresso.
As I’ll ever be, she thought, but gave him only a polite smile in response. What else could she do? Tell him that although she had been as close to him as two people could possibly be the night before, in the light of morning the idea of sitting next to him in a moving vehicle for eight hours seemed about as daunting as taking her boards with her eyes closed.
She decided not to risk saying anything, so she just climbed into the passenger seat of the SUV.
“I grabbed coffee and a bagel for you while I was walking Belle earlier,” he said tersely once he had climbed in the driver’s seat.
“Thanks,” she murmured.
His only response was to shrug and reach for the radio. Soon the low voices of NPR’s Morning Edition filled the vehicle, effectively squashing any conversation, had she been at all inclined to attempt any.
They rode for fifteen miles in a tense, awkward silence. She wondered if they would spend the whole day with this morning-after discomfort between them. Just when she was about to say something, her phone bleeped from her bag.
For the first time she could remember, she reached for it eagerly, grateful for any interruption in the tension between her and Hunter.
“Hello?” she said after the second ring.
“Kate, this is Gage. Gage McKinnon.”
Despite her grim mood, she couldn’t contain a little smile at her brother’s formal greeting—as if she knew any other strong, commanding men named Gage besides her oldest brother that he felt he had to qualify with his last name.
“Hello Gage. How are Allie and the girls?”
“Good. Great. Well, Anna picked up a bit of cold at the wedding so she’s been home from preschool since Monday. Poor thing is miserable. Runny nose, sore throat, sniffles. The only thing that makes her feel better is me reading Yertle the Turtle to her. I’ve read it at least a hundred times in the last few days. Good thing her mother’s a nurse because I don’t know the first thing about comforting sick kids.”
Her smile was a little broader by the time he wound down. She found it funny—and terribly sweet—that her taciturn brother could wax positively eloquent when it came to his stepdaughters. “Have you taken her to her pediatrician yet?”
“Yeah. Allie’s got her all fixed up. Cough syrups, pain relievers, the works.”
“Good. Give her a kiss for me.”
“I’ll do that.” He cleared his throat. “That’s not why I called, actually. Mom phoned me this morning and told me what you’ve been up to down there. I really wish you had talked to me first. I could have saved you three days of driving.”
Her hands tightened on the phone as she absorbed his meaning. “You know where Brenda Golightly is?”
Gage didn’t answer for a moment. When he did, she heard the regret in his voice. “Yeah. I know.”
“Is the FBI investigating?”
“Twenty-three-year-old kidnapping cases are a fairly low priority to the bureau so Wyatt and I did a little digging on our own. We hired a P.I. and he tracked her down a few weeks ago. She’s living in the Keys.”
Her brothers had known where Brenda was all along. She stared out the windshield, her mind whirling. She didn’t know much about the whole sibling dynamic but she was fairly certain keeping secrets like this one shouldn’t be allowed.
“You and Wyatt both knew this and yet you never bothered to tell me?”
“We talked about it but we didn’t think you wanted to know,” Gage said warily. “If you’ll remember, when I questioned you about the woman right after we received the DNA tests back confirming you were Charlotte, you said you didn’t know where she was and you didn’t care. You said you lost contact with her years ago and you didn’t seem all that eager to find her again. I believe your exact words were She can rot in hell as far as I care.”
Kate winced, remembering her words. She had meant them at the time but that was before she had come to see that she would never be free of Brenda until she faced her one more time.
They knew where Brenda was. The implications of her brother’s words started to seep in. She hadn’t needed to drag Hunter into this at all. If she had only talked to Wyatt or Gage, she could have flown out and confronted Brenda on her own.
She had made a royal mess of this whole thing.
“Did you talk to her? Ask her how she ended up with me?”
Gage was quiet. “I didn’t. Not personally,” he finally said. “I wanted to but I had some pending cases here I couldn’t break away from for a trip right now. I had a friend of mine out of the Miami field office pay her a visit.”
Kate waited for him to go on. When he said nothing, she fought the urge to grind her teeth. “And? What did she have to say?”
“Not much, Kate. I’m sorry. She wasn’t in any condition to say much of anything.”
“Let me guess. She was stoned.”
“Not exactly.” His voice gentled. “Brenda Golightly is in a Key West nursing home after a heroine overdose four years ago that left her with limited mental function. She wasn’t sure of her own name, forget about remembering details of something that happened more than two decades ago.”
The fist in her lap moved to her stomach as she tried to absorb one more blow. “Limited mental function. Does that mean she won’t be prosecuted for what she did to me? To all of us?”
“I doubt it. After the report I got from my colleague, I don’t see how Brenda Golightly could ever be found competent enough to stand trial, even if the Nevada statute of limitations on kidnappings hadn’t run out years ago.”
The woman had destroyed so many lives, had wrecked a good marriage, had taken an innocent child and thrust her into hell. Yet she would never pay for what she had done. The injustice of it was staggering.
“I’m sorry I didn’t tell you,” Gage said. “I see now I should have, no matter what you said about not wanting to ever see her again. But I never imagined for a moment you would suddenly decide to take off in the middle of the night to go after her.”
“It was a last-minute thing,” she said, still reeling. “I had some time off and it seemed like a good idea at the time.”
“Well, you could always go to Disney World or something while you’re down there. Or visit that foster couple who took such good care of you, the couple whose name you took.”
Kate had a sudden powerful yearning to walk into the warm, cheerful kitchen of Tom and Maryanne Spencer, to smell Maryanne’s African violets and see Tom’s familiar, sturdy frame. She pushed it away and tried to focus on her brother.
“Good suggestions. Thanks. I’ll have to see what Hunter thinks.”
“Which brings us to the second reason for my call. What the hell were you thinking to head off across the country with a man like Bradshaw without telling anyone?”
Her hackles rose as she readied to defend the man who sat in the driver’s seat, listening to every word as they drove past strip malls and warehouses. “I don’t need a lecture from you, Gage.”
“No, what you need is a hard kick in the seat. You scared Mom half to death when she couldn’t reach you these last few days.”
“I’ve already I told her I’m sorry for that. I’m not used to having anyone besides Taylor worrying about me and she and Wyatt are on their honeymoon. I didn’t even think about calling anyone else about my plans.”
“And the rest of it. Taking off with Bradshaw? Why is he involved?” Suspicion colored his voice. “Do the two of you have something going?”
/> An image from the night before danced across her mind, of mouths and bodies tangled together, and heat crept across her cheeks. “None of your business, Gage.”
She knew she sounded rude but she had just about had it with big, handsome, overbearing men who thought they knew everything.
“Be careful, Kate,” he said after a pause. “That’s all I’m going to say. Be careful, for your sake and for mine.”
“For yours?”
“Yeah. Prison can make any man—especially an innocent one—mean as a snake in a badger hole. I don’t particularly want to have to try to whip Hunter Bradshaw’s ass if he ends up hurting my baby sister.”
To her surprise—and no doubt to Gage’s—she laughed. “Thanks for your concern, but I can take care of myself.”
“I know you can,” he said gruffly. “You’ve done a good job of it so far. I just wanted to remind you that you’ve got a couple brothers on your side now. I might still be hobbling around with these bum legs but that doesn’t mean I can’t get the job done. And Wyatt is a whole lot tougher than he looks. Between the two of us, we ought to be able to take care of Bradshaw if he steps out of line.”
“I’ll keep that in mind. Thanks.”
Chapter 11
A few moments later, Kate said goodbye to Gage then returned the phone to her bag. She leaned back against the leather of the seat, lost in thought.
Hunter waited as long as he could. “You planning to leave me in suspense all the way to Miami? What did he say?”
She opened one eye and peered at him. “He says he doesn’t want to beat you up if you hurt his baby sister but he will. And Wyatt will help. That’s what big brothers are for, apparently—a side benefit I hadn’t fully appreciated when the McKinnons found me.”
“Good to know. Did he have anything else to say?”
“Oh, not really.”
She dropped the light tone and opened both eyes. In them he saw a mix of emotions—regret and apology and no small amount of embarrassment. “Only that I’ve dragged you and Belle three thousand miles on a wild goose chase.”
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