Without Regret (Broken Roads Book 1)

by Cat Mason

  Shaking my head, I wrestle with my emotions. I had come home to talk to my dad. To demand that he be honest with all of us about everything that is going on, and here he is initiating a Nerf gun war in the house.

  Brushing by me, Ray takes a gun from the counter. “Come on, Rach,” he says, holding it out for me to take.

  “Are you serious?”

  “Not even a little bit.” Taking my hand in his, he wraps my fingers around it. “However, I’m pretty sure that’s the idea. Fun isn’t supposed to be serious.”

  I think this is a horrible idea.

  Stupid, and horrible, and insane.

  Although, it appears I am the minority here.

  I am beyond frustrated with this entire situation. However, if fun is what they want, I am about to drown them all in it.

  “Fine,” I huff, pressing my lips into a hard line. Squeezing the trigger, I shoot him in the thigh. “Fuck it. Let’s have some fun.”

  “Rachel Ann!” my mother shouts as I shove around Ray and bolt from the room. “That mouth!”

  Ray is hot on my heels, firing round after round with his own gun, hitting me directly in the ass. Whipping around to face him, I narrow my eyes as a final dart bounces off my hip. “Enjoying yourself?”

  He smirks. “You know it.”

  Aiming, I squeeze the trigger, emptying my gun, peppering his body with the little orange and blue pieces of foam and plastic. Ray laughs. Closing the distance between us, he grabs my wrist. Yanking me flush against his body, he snakes his arm around my waist. “Now, we’re even,” I inform him with a satisfied smirk of my own.

  “No,” he breathes, his lips twitching with amusement. “Not even close.” I want to slap the sexy grin off his face, or kiss him. The jury is still undecided. Pressing his mouth to mine quickly, he releases his hold on me to scoop up a handful of darts before quickly disappearing into the den.

  My eyes widen. Squaring my shoulders, I snatch up the darts left on the floor and scramble to reload my gun as I charge after him. “It’s. On.”

  “Consider that ass owned, baby,” Zack shouts as I round the corner and step into the den. Leaping onto the coffee table, he aims at Kate. Before she can duck behind the recliner, he shoots. “Direct hit, Sir!” he shouts victoriously as the dart bounces off her chest. “Or should I say tit!”

  “Remember who you’re talkin’ to, dumbass. I may be impressed with your ability to shoot, but that’s still my daughter,” Dad grumbles, firing a shot at him from the other side of the bookshelf. “The real bullets are just a room and a safe combination away,” he taunts. “Remember that.”

  Dad’s eye catches mine and a playful smile plays on his lips. His hand moves, but I am quicker. Firing, I drop down beside the arm of the sofa. Laughter fills the room as the darts fly. While the rest of us fumble and run around the room like caged rats, Dad stalks around slowly, firing each round with purpose.

  Yes, I will admit this is fun. I can honestly say that I can even feel myself relaxing more and more as some of the tension leaves my body. However, that doesn’t mean that I am no longer upset with my father, or that I won’t be confronting him the moment I get him alone.

  Scrambling across the floor, I quickly grab ammo from the floor and reload as I inch my way along the back of the couch. Pushing up onto my knees, I scan the room for my target. Dad stands on the other side of the room, gun trained on Zack. Zack’s eyes widen as if Dad were about to fire a rocket launcher at him. “Tally-ho!” he shouts, leaping over the loveseat and tackling Ray to the floor.

  “Dammit, Zack!” Ray grunts, punching him in the ribs. “Get off me. When the hell did the Nerf Gun War turn into a full-contact sport?”

  “I need a shield,” Zack argues, fighting back. “Take one for the team, you selfish prick.”

  Standing to my feet, I meet Kate’s eyes. Knowingly, she stands, a big smile spreading across her face. Leaping out from behind the furniture, we aim and fire. “Viva la vengeance, asshole!” Kate screams, pelting Zack with all the darts in her gun.

  “Aw, shit! Taking heavy fire, Sir!” Zack shouts attempting to shield his face while he blocks Ray’s punches. “The fuck is everyone out to get me for?”

  “I’m not,” I announce, happily. Aiming at Dad, I slowly inch closer, using the furniture as a sort of shield. “Looks like you’ve been well taken care of, Zack.”

  Whipping around, Dad holds up his gun. His smile falters instantly, what little color he does have in his face drains. Dropping down into the chair, he huffs out a laugh. “Time out,” he says, sounding winded. “Your old man needs a second.”

  The laughter and playful arguments stop immediately. Dropping my gun to the sofa, worry begins to churn in my gut. “Mom!” Kate and I shout in unison, both of us instantly at his side. “I knew this was a bad idea,” I admit, dropping my hand to his shoulder.

  “It never fails. Put a baby down for a nap and everyone starts screaming,” Mom says, storming into the room. Her face falls the moment her eyes land on Dad. “Grant? Honey, are you okay?”

  “Fine,” he says, waving her off. “Completely fine. Tired is all.”

  “You convincing us of that?” Kate asks, scrutinizing him. “Or yourself?”

  “Not proving my case to anyone,” he replies, unsteadily pushing to his feet. Wrapping an arm around my mother, he presses a kiss to the top of her head. “Everything’s fine. Let’s eat. I’m starving.”

  Not buying his bullshit excuses for a minute, I follow them to the table and take a seat beside Ray. Unable to help it, I observe everything Dad does as we eat. He has yet to get his color back, and for someone who claimed to be ‘starving’, he has done little more than push the food around on his plate.

  Everyone else at the table eats and talks, completely ignoring the elephant in the room. Except Ray. Obviously, sensing my unease, his hand drops to my thigh, giving it a reassuring squeeze. Sadly, his touch does nothing to calm the raging storm of thoughts and emotions in my head.

  “I’ll be back,” I blurt, pushing from the table. “I need to check on Alyssa.”

  Leaving the room, I quickly make my way up the stairs toward my room. I need a minute to silence my racing mind. Something I can’t do sitting at the table with everyone while they make small talk. Walking over to the crib, I stare down at my sleeping baby.

  Not wanting to wake her, I slip from the room, leaving the door cracked just a bit. After a trip to the bathroom, and one hell of a pep talk in the mirror, I finally make my way back down the stairs.

  “Rachel?” Dad’s voice echoes from the front room.

  Stepping through the doorway, I spot him sitting on the piano bench. “Hey, Dad. What are you doing in here?”

  “Think it’s about time we hash this thing out,” he says, gesturing between us. “Don’t you?”

  “Hash what out exactly?” I ask, sitting on the arm of the sofa.

  “I was hoping Ray would honor my wishes,” he says, giving me a sad smile. “Clearly he didn’t. You wanted to talk when you got here. Talk. I’m listening.”

  “Of course, he told me,” I huff, rolling my eyes. “Ray believes in being honest and communicating with those he cares about. Even if it hurts. You should try it some time.” Pushing to my feet, I huff out a laugh. “Did you really expect him to keep that shit from me?”

  “Part of me wishes he had, simply because I want to protect you girls and don’t want to see you hurting. Especially not because of me,” he replies truthfully. “Call me selfish, I know that I am. However, I refuse to be a burden. I’m already giving up so much as it is; I refuse to give up my dignity, too.”

  I want to scream at him, to shake him until he comes to his senses. How could he ever think he could possibly be a burden to any of us?

  “I want to understand,” I choke out, tears filling my eyes. “I really do. Ray asked me today to imagine myself in your shoes. He asked how I would feel if I had to say goodbye to Alyssa. Truthfully, I can’t imagine leaving her, but I know I�
�d fight until my last breath. If not for myself, I’d do it for her.”

  “Believe me,” he says, standing to his feet. “This isn’t what I want, but I can’t change it. I can’t fix it, no matter how hard I wish I could.” Walking over, he wraps his arms around me. “I’m not saying goodbye to my girls,” he says, pressing a kiss to the top of my head. “Because no matter, if I die tomorrow or six months from now, I’ll always be here.”

  Hugging him tightly, I bury my nose in his chest. Having this talk with my dad was needed, I know that. Although, instead of making me feel better, it only has me hanging on to everything he says and does as if it were the last time.

  Because, right now, it is all too clear that it could be.

  “Everything okay in here?”

  Turning my head, I open my eyes and see Ray stepping into the room, concern etched on his face. “Mitchell,” my dad says, releasing his hold on me. Turning to face Ray, Dad studies him a moment before crossing his arms over his chest. He nods, a sad smile spreading across his face. “Appears you’ve just aced a test not even I knew I was givin’ you.”

  “Sir?” Ray asks, sounding confused.

  He’s not the only one.

  “I came to you, expectin’ you to keep secrets from everyone, including Rachel. It was clear to me the moment you got here tonight, that you hadn’t done that.”

  “I’m sorry, Sir,” Ray says, stepping further into the room.

  “No, you’re not,” Dad corrects him, shaking his head. “And I don’t expect you to be. I had no right to put you in that position. Your loyalty isn’t to me, Ray. It’s to my daughter. Can’t blame a man for wanting to protect the woman he loves. I’m a proud man, but not too much to admit when I’m wrong.” Turning to me, he exhales harshly. “I only ask that you don’t say anything to your mother or Kate until I’ve had the chance to come clean with them. You’re right, Rachel. They deserve the truth, even if it hurts.”

  His words shock me so much, all I can do is nod my response. Hugging me to him, he presses another kiss to the top of my head. “I’m tired,” he says, his voice cracking. “Would you tell everyone that I’ve gone to lie down?”

  “Of course,” I reply as his arms leave me. “You sure you’re okay, Dad?”

  “I’m fine,” he assures me, as he passes by Ray and heads for the doorway. “I over did it today, that’s all. Goodnight, Rachel.”

  “Night,” I say, not quite sure I believe him.

  “You’re too far away,” Ray says, closing the distance between us. Cupping my face in his hands, he leans in and brushes his nose along mine. “Sounds like you got through to him.”

  “No,” I breathe, wrapping my arms around his middle. Pressing my cheek to his chest, I close my eyes. “I think that was all you.”

  Chapter 14

  Everyone is eating cherry pie when Ray and I head back in to join them. “Dad said he was tired,” I announce, taking my seat. “He’s went to lie down.”

  Glancing around the table at all of us, Mom nods her head. Standing, she grabs her plate as well as the one on the table where my dad was sitting. “I think I’ll head that way too and take him his dessert. Goodnight everyone.”

  Picking up my fork, I cut into the pie on the plate in front of me. Zack catches my attention from across the table as he shovels bites into his mouth so fast, it’s a wonder he doesn’t choke. “Damn,” he moans, between bites. “Aunt Lila never makes cherry pie.”

  “Because my dad’s allergic to cherries, asshole,” Ray deadpans, rolling his eyes.

  “So,” Zack shrugs. “That’s his problem. Not mine.” Raking the last bite up onto his fork, he licks it clean before dropping it to his plate. Checking his watch, his eyes widen. “Shit.” Pushing to his feet, he grabs Kate’s hand, yanking her up with him. “Huge exam tomorrow and I haven’t studied. If I fail, I’ll tank the class and it’ll turn my GPA to shit.” Snaking an arm around her waist, he kisses her quickly before slapping her on the ass. “Gotta go, sweetheart.”

  “Since I rode with you, I should probably catch a ride with Zack,” Ray says, brushing my hand with his. Lacing our fingers, he flashes me a smile. “Or we can always have another sleep over.”

  “I should probably stay here tonight,” I reply, not wanting to wake Alyssa or drag her out into the night air. Plus, as much as I enjoyed sleeping in Ray’s arms last night; honestly, I don’t want to stay away from home again another night. After talking with Dad, I want to be here as much as possible.

  “Shot down!” Zack laughs. “If you were smart, you’d have brought your car so you’d have to go back for hers,” he says, waggling his brows. “Seriously, you’ve gotta learn how to play the game.”

  “Sometimes I question if we’re even related,” Ray fires back, his mouth pressing into a hard line. “News flash: some men don’t give their dicks control when making decisions.”

  “How sad for some men,” Zack chuckles, slapping Kate on the ass again. She squeals, swatting his hands away. “My cock always has my best interests at heart. He’s such a giver.”

  “Rach will take you, Ray,” Kate chimes in, slapping Zack’s arm. “Won’t you?” she asks with a wink.

  “I can,” I shrug, my eyes shifting between Ray and Kate, then back to Ray. “Let me check on the baby, then I should let Mom and Dad know where I’m going and—”

  “I can handle all that,” Kate interrupts, waving me off. “I was heading to wake up the baby anyway. We’ll be cuddled up in the den, watching inappropriate idiots on reality television, before you’ve backed out of the driveway. I’ll even feed her and give her a bath before she goes back down for the night.”

  “Okay. You’ve got yourself a deal.” I take Ray’s hand. “I’ll be back in an hour.”

  “Take your time,” she replies with a wink, making me roll my eyes.

  Pushing around Kate and Zack as they dry hump each other goodbye on the front porch, Ray and I make our way to my car. Sliding behind the wheel, I buckle my seatbelt and start the engine while Ray gets settled in beside me.

  His hand covers mine on the gear shift as I drive, his thumb tracing small circles over my skin. “You’re very distracting,” I inform him, but don’t make a move to stop him.

  “Am I?” he asks, continuing his movements.

  “Yes,” I breathe.

  “I could say the same,” Ray replies without hesitation.

  Stopping at a red light, I gape at him. “Me?” I ask. “How am I distracting you?”

  His hand slides up my arm, then cups my cheek as he leans in to brush his nose along mine. “Because everything else blurs in comparison to you, Rachel.” His lips brush over mine. “Mmm,” he moans, running his tongue over my bottom lip. “I dream about kissing these lips. I crave how sweet you taste.”

  Damn.

  His words always seem to have a way of undoing me.

  Parting my lips, I sigh. His fingers slip into my hair as he fuses his mouth to mine. Wrapping his other arm around me, Ray pulls me closer. His kiss isn’t soft and sweet. It is hard and possessing, filled with hunger and need. His hand slides down to my thigh, toying with the hem of my dress as he slowly tugs it upward. “Need to feel you,” he murmurs against my lips. “Going to taste every inch of you, Baby.”

  Honking horns blare around us, making me jolt forward. Our foreheads collide with a painful thud. “Ow,” I yelp. My eyes fly open, noticing that the green light we were waiting on is now turning yellow. “Shit!”

  “It was worth it,” he says, seeming satisfied.

  Tires squeal as a black car blows passed us, the driver throwing his hands up angrily as he passes. The light turns red again and I immediately look at Ray. Winking at me, he chuckles and leans my way again. “Oh no,” I say, pressing my fingers to his lips. “You stay on your side of the car, mister. The last thing we need is a cop pulling up behind us.”

  Holding up his hands in surrender, Ray sits back in his seat. “Fine, fine” he chuckles, making me roll my eyes. “But, a
s soon as you put it in park,” he adds with a wicked grin. “All bets are off.”

  “Is that so?” I ask, arching a brow.

  “Mhm.” Resting his arm on the console, he begins tapping his fingers. “And it’s gonna take longer than an hour.”

  Ray doesn’t make a move to touch me for the rest of the ride. The remainder of the drive is filled with nothing but the crackling anticipation building between us. When I agreed to drive Ray home, sex hadn’t even crossed my mind. However, now, it is all I can do not to pull over and strip him down in the backseat. The idea has me shifting uncomfortably in my seat. Each time I do, the smile on his face widens.

  Damn him.

  The second I put the car in park and kill the engine, our eyes meet. His gaze darkens. “Are you ready, Rachel?” he asks, his tongue darting out to moisten his bottom lip.

  Damn, that’s hot.

  Arching my brow, I try my best to appear unaffected. “Are you?”

  “Baby, you’ve got exactly thirty seconds to have your gorgeous ass out of this car and through my front door,” he warns, his eyes raking over my body. “Or I’ll have you sprawled out right here across the front seats.”

  My breath hitches and Ray smirks. Flinging open the doors, we race up the walk. Shoving me up against the door, Ray slams his mouth to mine as he fumbles with his keys. The door opens, and we fumble blindly inside, Ray’s mouth never leaving mine. The sound of the door slamming shut echoes off the walls.

  Breaking our kiss, Ray rips the dress over my head and tosses it to the floor. Pressing my back to the wall, he wraps my legs around his waist and begins trailing his lips along my neck. “Not making it to the bed, Baby,” he whispers, the heat of his breath on my sensitive skin causing me to shiver.

  “Oh no?” I ask as he rocks his hips into me.