by Jyoti Singh
As Niki stood in the foyer looking at him now, wearing his deep indigo low-slung jeans across those slim hips and a white linen shirt, she fought between wanting to give in and just walking away.
‘Come on, Niki, show some spirit. It will be fun, I promise.’ Sid’s eyes were like chocolate, all gooey and warm. What Niki would have liked to call a demented half smile was actually a rather sweet effort at cajoling her.
‘I will have to change,’ Niki said, giving in.
‘That’s my girl.’ Sid winked.
Niki walked to the elevator doors and Sid followed. She opened the door to her flat, reached for the lights and let Sid in. The space changed with his presence. What was Niki’s personal haven was suddenly dominated by Sid. She had not bargained for this. He stood near the door, waiting for directions as to where he should go from there. Niki remembered her manners and, pointing in the general direction of the eclectic seating area, she said, ‘Why don’t you take a seat while I go and find something more appropriate to wear.’ She resisted the urge to apologise for the mess of her work things, books and papers and added, ‘Can I offer you something to drink while you wait?’
‘No, I’m good. This is a lovely place. Great view, warm… If one were to imagine where you lived, this is what would come to mind,’ Sid said as he walked to the windows to look out at the glittering skyline. He stood there for a minute and turned. Niki was still standing near the door to her room, wondering at how Sid was in her flat and how he would now be able to visualise where she was when she spoke to him on the phone, be able to see what she saw. The best way to understand an animal is to see it in its habitat. She did not have the same privilege and it bothered her. She dithered as Sid walked to her father’s armchair, politely picked up the day’s newspapers from the seat and settled down.
‘Go on, Niki. I’ll be right here. And…’He stopped to drop the newspapers onto the coffee table near the armchair.
‘And?’ Niki prompted, hoping for some strange affirmation of God knew what. Maybe the kiss from last night?
‘And do hurry up—we have a reservation,’ Sid said and Niki felt deflated. She walked into her room and shut the door.
It was hard to decide what to change into. She had already been through her wardrobe during the day to come up with what she was wearing; now she had to start over. She felt an overwhelming need to wear something that was smooth to touch and would not gather sweat in the heat while on the motorcycle, given that Sid would be sitting right behind her, in very close proximity. She changed three times before settling on a pair of black linen trousers, a matching camisole and a light blue knit wrap with sleeves. She took off her hoops and wore pearl studs instead and exchanged her stiletto heels for a pair of block-heeled sandals that would make it easier to change the motorcycle gears with her foot. Niki spritzed her favourite perfume, a little more than usual, again mindful that Sid would be riding pillion. She gave herself a last once-over in the full-length mirror behind the door and wondered why on earth people associated riding a motorcycle with wearing leather. Satisfied that she had not done too badly at such short notice, she opened her door and walked right into Sid. She screamed into his chest, her coral lipstick leaving a smear across the front of his white shirt, then jumped back as if scalded.
‘What in heaven’s name do you think you are doing?’ Her eyes sparked fire.
Sid looked befuddled as he said, ‘Hey! I was just coming to knock on your door to find out how much longer you would be…’
‘Well, here I am and this evening… Oh, my God…’ Niki was still shaking from the surprise of walking into Sid when she noticed the smear of her lipstick. She immediately reached out her hand and started to rub it in the hope that it would come off. She quickly looked up at Sid, who looked down at her hand and then her face. He looked flummoxed by Niki’s sudden need to rub his chest. The confusion ensued for a bit until his eyes registered what she was trying to do. His chest shook under her fingers. Niki looked up at him and saw the man she’d met in the elevator. The laughter was uncontrollable and infectious and she joined in.
They were still standing outside the door to her room in awkward proximity when the laughter subsided. Niki was unaware till then that her hand had not left Sid’s chest, despite the mirth. As his body stilled, she became acutely aware of the firm warmth beneath her palm. Her fingers moved involuntarily across the plane of his chest. Her eyes followed, mesmerised by their movement and the sensation of touching the ripped musculature under his shirt. She felt rather than heard Sid’s swift intake of breath and looked up. His eyes were clouded with what she read as desire but could not be sure. Sid’s hand reached out to cover her own, pressing her flesh, branding an imprint onto his chest as his head dipped towards hers. The kiss landed, as intended, on her brow, his warm breath fanning a fire of tightness along Niki’s loins, notwithstanding the disappointment that he had missed her lips. His voice was low and throaty as he said with mock seriousness, ‘You have to stop doing this…’
Niki looked straight ahead. She could see the weave of Sid’s shirt. It took her a moment to gather herself and say huskily, ‘What?’
‘Falling into my lap, walking into me…’ Sid smiled wickedly as he reluctantly let go of her hand and stepped back. Niki’s hand fell by her side. She felt at once bereft at the loss of touch and connection.
‘Oh, come on…! You scared the living daylights out of me and you know it!’ Niki was defensive.
‘Honestly, I don’t really mind. What worries me is what you will come up with next…’ Sid was relentless. Niki guessed humour was his way of rescuing the situation from sensory consciousness.
‘Stop it, Sid.’ Niki punched his chest in jest; another arc of awareness flared and with it the realisation that this was a slippery slope. The atmosphere was thick with unspoken desire and they were alone in a space where anything could happen. Niki was struggling to school her wayward thoughts even as Sid took a sharp breath and said, ‘Time to head out, I think.’
‘But what about your shirt?’ Niki asked.
‘Most people won’t notice it and those who do will wonder how it got there. Both ways, we have nothing to worry about,’ Sid said dismissively, waving Niki towards the main door.
‘Why don’t you just call the elevator while I lock up?’ Niki suggested, sending Sid out of her flat. She lingered as she switched off the lights. Her mind and body had lost their equanimity. She took a few deep breaths as she collected the helmets, keys and her handbag before pulling the door closed.
Sid had not thought this through. Or maybe, subconsciously, he had. Riding pillion behind Niki through the Gurgaon traffic was exquisite torture. She was good, he would grant her that, and really knew how to manoeuvre her way through traffic. But Sid had not sat on a motorcycle since his teens. The sudden exposure to all the noise, dust and fumes was a shock to the system, but no more of a shock than how close Niki got to some of the passing vehicles, especially the speeding trucks. His discomfort was compounded by the need to lean on Niki to maintain his balance, as his hips cradled hers. He was still nursing the residue of awareness that had sparked between them in her flat and the closeness did not help. Sid did not want Niki to know that he had not been able to control his physical response to her because it had actually been much more than that.
The ride did not encourage conversation. Her taut, lithe body weaved to the motion of the traffic, leaning forward but every now and then, when the wind favoured, Sid got a waft of her perfume. She was an interesting woman, impulsive and childlike in some respects and quite unaware of the effect she had on him.
Sid’s mind meandered to their kiss the night before. It had been poignant and hard to end. Her soft lips and complete surrender had been unexpected and, in his book, quite uncharacteristic. He had been surprised and had longed to deepen the kiss. His mind had spent the entire night tossing what ifs at him so he had taken the only path he knew while facing Niki today. The morning phone call had been deliberately shor
t and light. When he’d seen her in the foyer, his first instinct had been to take her in his arms again and continue where they had left off, but he’d decided to give that idea short shrift. Then Niki, being Niki, had walked right into him. It would have been so easy to take the next step in the isolation of her flat. But Sid liked to believe he was a gentleman. Taking advantage of a vulnerable woman was not his forte or desire. If things moved to the next level, rather when they did, Sid wanted Niki to be completely invested, an equal partner.
This was completely different from what he’d had with Gauri. For them it had been a voyage of discovery, of hormones and the uncontrolled desire of youth. He had thought about it and realised that things had really changed because their relationship had been rooted in the physical and as the desire ebbed the cracks began to show. As the haze lifted, Sid had seen Gauri for who she was but he hadn’t wanted to admit it. Right now, he was thankful Gauri had taken the initiative to part ways. Left to him, they would still have been miserable together.
A car honked and brought Sid back to reality—a reality where he was in pleasurably uncomfortable proximity to a woman who was quite unaware of his lascivious thoughts. Niki turned her head to him and said in a voice muffled by her helmet, ‘We are here.’ In the context of his thoughts, it did not mean the destination but a metaphysical summation of what was happening between Niki and him.
The place where Sid had reserved a table was a pub of sorts, with its own micro-brewery sectioned off by transparent glass. A live band was performing as an opening for a comedy act to follow. They were seated immediately. The environment was loud and boisterous, with people hanging out at the bar and groups of young kids just out of college crowding the floor near the band.
‘You like it?’ Sid asked, loud enough to be heard above the music.
‘It’s interesting.’ Niki wondered why Sid would have chosen a place where they could not really have a conversation or a peaceful dinner. He could be avoiding talking to her. It bothered Niki, given that she had thought they were actually getting along.
They settled onto their bar stool seats and a high table that hugged a pillar towards the side of the space. It was well located and had a full view of the stage, yet was not close enough for the comedians, who were notorious for picking on people in the front of the house, to target them. Niki buried her face in the menu. She would not let Sid see her disappointment. There was the motorcycle ride to consider. Then her expectation that when he had invited her for dinner last night it would be something very private and candlelit in a swanky restaurant, with discreet unobtrusive staff. Here, between songs, a bunch of the waiters jumped onto the stage and danced to a disco song from the eighties. It would have been fun in different circumstances but today Niki had expected more.
‘What would you like to drink?’ Sid leaned over the table, bringing his mouth within touching distance of her ear so that she could hear. She smelt his aftershave and felt the warmth of his breath tickle her ear lobe. It sent a zing up her spine. Aha! So that was why they were here… This might not be private but it definitely was up close and personal. Niki thawed.
‘Tanqueray with tonic,’ she replied before Sid could lean back. She saw a glitter in his eyes as he signalled to the waiter and gave the order for two of the same. It was enough for Niki to give the evening another chance.
‘Did you know that in eighteenth-century England gin was called “mother’s ruin”?’ Sid asked.
‘No. Why?’ Niki was curious.
‘Apparently, it was because women were allowed to drink alongside men for the first time and this led many of them to neglect their children and turn to prostitution,’ Sid clarified.
‘I see,’ Niki said, fighting the urge to raise the feminist flag. She promised herself she would behave today and let the evening play out.
The band performed a couple more sets, giving Sid and Niki several opportunities to play the coy whispering game. Each time they spoke to each other, about the menu or some other inane observation of the crowd or music, Niki felt the coil of awareness build up some more. She noticed that Sid was not completely immune either, touching her hand often and on one occasion reaching out to remove a stray tendril of hair from her face. He was extremely attentive and his eyes did not stray from her except when he needed to get the attention of the waiter. Niki was feeling a high that did not come from the alcohol.
When the music stopped there was a short period when complete silence engulfed the room before spotlights moved across the crowd, stopping every once in a while on someone before moving on. The emcee announced the arrival of the comedians and the spotlights settled on the stage.
The first comedian came on and got the crowd warmed up with a routine of self-deprecating jokes but the real fun only started when he turned on the audience. As he picked on the people at the front of the house, the spotlight moved to focus on who the comedian was speaking to. Each time the house roared with laughter at somebody’s mock humiliation—the school kids who didn’t know the name of the President or the young lady who was so drunk the comedian had to remind her it was a show and not a conversation. The cringe factor was really strong. The spotlight moved to a handsome couple seated at a table near the front. Niki could not see them very clearly from where she sat.
The comedian asked, ‘So what’s your name, sir?’
‘Jay,’ replied the man.
‘And what do you do, sir?’
‘I am the CEO of a private equity fund.’ The man sounded rather pompous to Niki. This was just a fun evening, not a job interview needing such heavy-duty credentials.
‘So the failures of which companies can we blame you for?’ asked the comedian, tongue in cheek. The crowd roared.
‘Tell me, Jay, who is this pretty girl with you?’ the comedian continued.
Jay, unperturbed by the earlier zinger, replied, ‘My wife, Gauri.’ The spotlight moved to the woman and stayed on her. She squirmed uncomfortably.
Niki looked over at Sid, who had been laughing with gusto all this while. He had a better view of the couple from his side of the table. He smiled at Niki, and then looked over at the woman in the spotlight. His smile faded. In fact, if the light were better where they sat, Niki could have sworn the colour left Sid’s face. She stopped paying attention to the comedian, who was now gently ribbing Jay about cradle-snatching and jousting with the woman about how she must be really short-sighted to be with Jay when there were much better candidates, like the comedian himself, available. The woman threw her head back and laughed self-consciously and Niki got her first look at her. She was diminutive but lovely. Her long dark hair was stylishly loose around her shoulders and her face was like the Madonna, with fine, small features. She was dressed in a little black dress with a square neck that highlighted her delicate bone structure. Niki looked back at Sid and saw that he was transfixed by the woman. She felt a surge of emotion akin to jealousy but she pushed it down instead, putting her hand on his. ‘Sid?’
He started and looked at her with distant eyes.
‘Is something wrong? You look like you have seen a ghost…’ Niki continued.
He laughed out loud. It sounded a trifle manic to Niki.
‘You have no idea,’ he replied.
‘What do you mean?’ Niki was confused by this strange transformation in Sid.
‘Ghost… a ghost from the past. Could you please excuse me?’ Sid pushed his chair back and walked towards the men’s room before Niki could say another word.
She did not know Sid well but this was quite unlike what little she knew of him and it hurt. What was it about that woman? Niki looked at her again. She was laughing while her husband, Jay, looked on fondly. She seemed used to the attention and was wallowing in it. Niki felt another surge of jealousy. To be that comfortable in one’s skin must be nice but the awareness of the effect on other people smacked of arrogance. Where the hell was Sid? She needed to know who this woman was and why she’d had such a strong effect on him.
&nbs
p; It was nearly fifteen minutes before Sid returned. The first comedy act had ended and the new comedian had taken the floor. As he was a celebrity, the spotlight remained trained on him and Niki lost sight of the woman and her husband as the audience moved into the edge of darkness. She had trouble reading Sid’s expression as he said, ‘I am very sorry for that,’ and settled back onto his stool.
He seemed to have found his good humour again but Niki had questions. ‘So who is that woman?’ she asked.
‘Gauri? She was with Tanya and me in graduate school,’ he said dismissively.
‘But she rattled your cage…’ She could not let it go and Sid seemed resistant to discussing it further.
‘You could say that. It was just a surprise to see her, that’s all.’ Sid did not volunteer any further information.
Niki wanted to know more but was clueless as to how to get past the wall Sid had put up. The comedy act ended and the central space near the stage was cleared to reveal a dance floor. A DJ took over the music and the room throbbed to an electronic beat. The atmosphere once again became loud and boisterous as people trooped onto the floor in various stages of drunkenness and bonhomie.
Niki lost sight of the couple and tried to locate them in her visual field when she heard a husky, ‘Hello, Sid,’ just over her shoulder. She turned around to see Gauri standing behind her, all petite and feminine. Given her larger frame and the fact that she was sitting on the high bar stool, Niki felt like a giant in comparison.
‘Hello, Gauri.’ Sid’s voice was unemotional and flat, which surprised Niki. She surmised that since Gauri was his classmate from graduate school and presumably they were meeting after a gap of many years, there would at least be some excitement. But, in the light of Sid’s earlier reaction, maybe this was just about right. It niggled at Niki that she did not have the full picture and the impression she was getting was that this was not about being in graduate school together; it was much more.