“Stop being dumb,” she mumbled. “Just tell him it was a mistake and stop him before he ever comes inside.”
She strode across the dark living room toward the front door and turned on the entry light. Its cut crystal globe splashed shapes and shadows over the hardwood floor. At some point, a tear had sneaked from the corner of her eye. She wiped it away with her fingertips, then stepped outside to meet him.
The entry light cast a soft glow through the door panes. The night air raised goose bumps on her bare arms and she hugged herself for warmth.
With the grace of an athlete, he crossed the deck toward her, his eyes drilling into her. “Alex—”
“Don’t say anything.” Her determination to stop him weakened, but she squared her shoulders and met his eyes, her heart thumping in her throat. “You shouldn’t have followed me.”
“I brought your jacket.” He thrust it toward her.
Knocked off-guard, she yanked it out of his hand and hugged it to her chest.“Thank you.”
He opened his palms in question. Why did you run away?”
“This isn’t right for me. Being involved with someone is not right for me.” The temperature must have dropped twenty degrees. She was so cold her teeth started to chatter.
“You’re freezing.” His hands reached out and took the jacket from her. He shook it open and held it while she shrugged into it. He didn’t let her cross her arms again. Instead, he drew them around his torso enclosing her into his jacket and cocooning her in warmth. “Doesn’t that feel better?”
It felt wonderful. “Not necessarily.”
His hand came up and his fingers pushed a sheaf of her hair back from her face. “Now, tell me why I’m not right for you.”
“Because. You add complications to my life.”
“Sweetheart, your life is a freeway pile-up. If anything, I’m a stabilizing factor.” His finger tipped up her chin, his head bent and his lips touched hers so gently it seemed they were hardly touching at all.
She couldn’t make herself resist. His head angled left, then right as he softly sipped and flicked her lips with his tongue. She already knew his mouth was skilled and sensuous. Though she tried to be defiant, the same fire he had built in her belly earlier started smoldering again. She halfheartedly pushed against his chest with one hand, but he kissed her again, his tongue finding hers. The remnants of her resolve withered as pitifully as cornstalks in the wake of drought. Tears rushed to her eyes and she couldn’t stop them. “You sneaked up on me. You didn’t even ask me if I wanted to—”
“Sweetheart, it didn’t seem to be the time for a debate.”
“I hope you’re pleased. You won. You’ve conquered—”
“Won? Conquered? You see this as a war?” He held her, stroking her hair and soothing her. “Aw, Alex. You're such a fighter....But everything in life doesn’t have to be a battle.…Jesus, sweetheart...”
The endearment in his deep and dusty voice fell on her ear like the most lyrical of poems. A feeling of belonging spread through her. In her entire life, no one had ever called her “sweetheart” or whispered loving words of any name. Her fists knotted around his jacket front as her tears wet the front of his shirt.
He rocked her and held her until she pulled herself together. She could feel his cheek against her hair, the warmth and strength of his big body. She didn’t even want to stand against his determination. “I don’t know how you manage to drive me crazy and make me feel good at the same time.”
He set her back with a deep, soft chuckle and looked into her face. “That must mean we’re making progress.”
“I suppose you want me to invite you in. You probably think I’ll let you spend the night.”
His grin came lightning quick and little-boy charming. “I brought my toothbrush.” He shoved his hand into his jacket pocket and brought out a toothbrush.
She couldn’t hold back a laugh. He was the most audacious man she had ever met. Resisting him was exhausting. “It’s a good thing. If there’s anything I can’t stand, it’s a man with dirty teeth.”
She led him inside. “We didn’t eat. Are you hungry?”
“A little. You mean you’ve got food?”
The cats trotted along beside them as they walked to the kitchen.
“Peanut butter. And maybe some jelly.”
“Grape?”
She smiled as she dragged a new jar of grape jelly from the cupboard. “Picked the grapes myself, squeezed the juice with my own feet, slaved over a hot stove.”
“Just what I thought. Were you wearing those waders when you did it?”
She gave him a bland look and picked up the jar of peanut butter. “Bring the spoon and the crackers.” She headed for the bedroom, casting him a sly glance over her shoulder. “If you coax me, I’ll let you lick peanut butter off my tummy.”
He tilted back his head and laughed. “Lead on, lady. I used to be a crisis negotiator, you know. I’m a master at coaxing and I’ve got the fastest tongue in the West.”
Damn it all, she couldn’t keep from liking him.
****
Spoons of peanut butter and jelly later, Alex lazed in her Jacuzzi’s warm roiling water, her back against Doug’s chest, arms draped over his knees. Through a faint mist, the light of two dozen candles flicked shadows onto the walls. The whirlpool’s motor whirred softly, muffling sound. Her muscles felt so mushy, if she had to move suddenly, she couldn’t.
“You’re such a devil,” she said.
“But you liked it when I licked that jelly—”
“Shh. Don’t say it.”
“It’s okay to say you liked it.”
She felt her cheeks warm and hesitated before answering. “Well…maybe.”
He chuckled softly. She felt the subtle rumble in his chest. His arms slid around her and his hands covered her breasts. “There was no maybe about it. You liked it. So did I.” He placed his lips against her ear and whispered, “Was it better with or without the jelly?”
“Stop it. You’re embarrassing me.”
“You weren’t embarrassed when I did it, were you? Be honest.”
She hesitated again. “No.”
He picked up a sea sponge and squeezed a trail of water down her arm. “I knew we’d be good together. You knew it, too, didn’t you?”
The answer to that question was probably yes. Otherwise, why would she have let this go this far? She didn’t answer him.
“A penny for your thoughts,” he said.
“I doubt if they’re worth a penny.”
“If they’re dirty, I’ll make it a nickel.”
Her eyelids felt too heavy to open, but she smiled. “I thought we’d never get all that peanut butter and jelly washed off.”
“Sweetheart, you’re the one who offered your tummy. I would’ve been content with a cracker.”
She couldn’t keep from giggling. Oh, his teasing was good for her. “Here’s a thought for a penny. In all the years I’ve owned this house, besides me, no one’s been in this tub.”
“Does that means I’m special?”
“Or maybe I should qualify that. No one I know about.”
He clasped her shoulders and urged her to sit up and when she did, he began to soap her shoulders in slow circles. She closed her eyes and arched her back, rolled her neck to one side. His teeth bit into a tender place on her shoulder. “No one you know about?”
“Charlie could have brought someone—”
“He’d do that?”
“Oh, he’d do that. And then some.”
“Is that why you didn’t have sex for so long? Because of his chasing around? Was it really eight years?”
She hadn’t anticipated that question popping up, especially at a moment like this. “Charlie and I were like cousins. I don’t think he wanted me for sex and I didn’t want him that way either.”
“Sweetie, I’ll tell you this without even knowing the guy. If you two were married, he wanted you for that. So how come you kicked him out
of bed?”
She opened her eyes and turned to face her inquisitor. “Now you’re prying.”
He clasped her arms pulled her between his open knees. “I know. I’m nosy.” He trailed his wet fingers down her jaw. “I want to know all your secrets.”
She plucked the sponge from the water squeezed it over his shoulders. “Should we trade secrets? I’m sure yours are juicier.”
“But yours are buried deeper. C’mon,” he said softly. “You like fucking. Tell me why you quit it.”
She gasped and frowned. “What makes you think I like...that?”
His hands slid up her sides, cupped her breasts and lifted them. He brushed her nipples with this thumbs. “There’s nothing wrong with liking it. You’re evading the question.”
She loved his hands on her body, but he was getting too close, digging too deep. She scooted to the opposite end of the tub. She should give him the answer, then see how fast he could dry himself, get dressed and get the hell out of her bathroom, her house, her life. She should have thought of it earlier.
“Okay, here’s a thought for you to digest. This one’s probably worth a quarter. I had VD. A particularly virulent strain of gonorrhea.” She hoisted her chin and waited for his jaw to drop, waited for him to say “See ya around.” Neither happened.
He looked at her intently as a drop of water dripped off his chin. “Gonorrhea.”
She hung her elbows on the tub’s edge and plowed ahead, giving him an out. “Don’t you want to know where I got it? Don’t you want to know if I was engaged in prostitution or something?”
He picked up the sponge and squeezed out water, but his eyes never left her face. “Yeah, I want to know.”
“I caught it from Charlie. That’s how I learned he had other women. He got it from one of the waitresses at Charlie Boy’s, Number Six, I believe it was.”
“He’s a bastard.”
“Want to know something else? Those condoms you’ve been so worried about? With me, you don’t need them. My chances of getting pregnant are somewhere around one in fifteen thousand. And now that I’m over thirty-five, I think it’s even harder.”
He continued to stare at her, his eyes unreadable. “Heavy odds,” he said finally.
Tears began to burn behind her eyes. Dammit, she didn’t want to cry. She couldn’t remember the last time, if ever, she had told anyone the hateful story and saying it aloud affected her in an unexpected way. She scooped up water and laved her face. “It’s not that I’m sterile. It’s scar tissue. Somebody’s little soldiers would have to be very determined troopers.”
His hand wrapped around her ankle and he pulled her forward until she was between his open legs again. His hands cupped her bottom and he lifted her to straddle him. “So why didn’t you divorce his ass then?”
“I did file. Wrangling over a settlement went on forever and—” The tears leaked out again.
“That’s enough.” He lifted her off his lap, then stood up and stepped out of the tub.
So. Telling him about her past had indeed affected his feeling for her. “What is it?” she asked, wanting to hear his rejection in words and at the same time fighting back tears that were waiting to gush.
He grabbed a thick towel off one of the racks and began to dry himself with rough, sure swipes.
She had lost him. Lost him before she ever had him. She had known from the outset getting involved with anyone was a mistake. What man would ever want her once he knew her sorry history. “I told you we”—she swallowed to keep from bursting into sobs—“I told you we shouldn’t do this.”
She drew her knees up to her chest, wrapped her arms around them and pressed her forehead against them. She could bear to see scorn in his eyes.
She felt his touch on her back. “Alex,” he said softly, gripping her arm and urging her to her feet in a cascade of water. “Step out,” he said and she obeyed. He began to dry her.
“You don’t have to—”
“I know. I don’t have to do anything I don’t want to. I’ve paid dearly for that privilege.”
He scooped her into his arms and carried her back to the bedroom. They sank onto the king size bed together, a tangle of arms and legs. Face-to-face, a foot apart, his hands clasped her cheeks and he kissed her, quick and fierce. “Listen to me,” he said gruffly, his silver eyes glued to hers. “None of it matters. Not your past. Not mine. All that matters is how good our lives are gonna be in the future because we’re together.”
Her chest ached with emotion. She wanted to tell him it was too late. Too much had happened for them to overcome. But her throat had closed and she couldn’t speak. What came out instead of words were the tears she had been holding back.
“Shh,” he said and kissed her damp eyelids. “Don’t cry. Be happy two lost and wandering souls have found each other.”
He eased her to her back and she went willingly. He moved over her and she opened herself for him. His hard penis slid up into her and her deepest muscles responded on their own. They flexed around his thickness and she felt him shudder. Their eyes locked. “God as my witness,” he whispered, “I’ll never do anything to make you cry.” His head dipped and his mouth devoured hers.
Kisses that had been sweet became savage. His mouth dragged to her jaw, her shoulder and she could feel his tongue on her skin. His hands gathered her breasts and his agile mouth covered one. His hands moved to her hips, he gripped them tightly and began to move her. Then, heat. Friction. And his bare flesh sliding against hers in a slow, steady rhythm and she wanted it to never stop. Sensation began to gather in her deepest places. She wrapped her arms around his head and shoulders and hung on for the ride.
“Let go,” he whispered, his body taut and straining.
She obeyed again and orgasm thundered through her in waves and little mewling sounds hitched from her throat. Plunging over the edge, she cried out.
“Oh, Jesus,” he said, wrapping both of his thick arms around her and chuckling against her breasts.
“What’s so funny,” she said against his shoulder.
“Nothing. I’m just so damned happy.”
“Did you—” She couldn’t say the words. She laid her head on his shoulder, pressing her breasts against him.
He moved wet strands of hair off her face and kissed her.
“Did I come?” He chuckled again. “Oh, yeah. Couldn’t you tell.”
“Well, maybe.” They kissed more. She loved his mouth, loved the taste of him.
“You’re so innocent,” he said softly, his silver eyes looking into hers. “I’ve never known anyone like you.”
“But I’m not. I’ve done things.”
“We’ve all done things. All I know is I’m happy. And I want to make you happy.
Chapter 28
From the end of Alex’s long driveway, Ted saw a pickup parked in front of her house. He threw what was left of his doughnut out the window and sat forward, peering over the steering wheel. He hadn’t expected her to return until this evening. Nobody should be parked in front of her house. On a surge of adrenaline, he banged up the road faster than was prudent.
When he drew closer, he recognized Doug’s Chevy. His heart fell to his shoes. Was Alex home? She had to be. It was six o’clock in the morning. Too early for Doug or anybody else to drop in for coffee. “Fuck,” he muttered, his thoughts in turmoil.
Not confident what to do, he buzzed down his window and slowed his truck to a crawl, looking for signs of life. Except for the whistling wind accompanying the cool front that had moved in overnight, the surroundings were quiet.
He parked beside the Silverado and made no attempt to soften his footsteps as he mounted the deck stairs and crossed to the front door. He knew the doorbell didn’t work, so he banged the knocker, then let his arms hang loose, snapping his fingers while he waited for a response. None came.
He jogged down the steps to the basement level. Peeking through the windows in the garage doors, he saw Alex's mud-spattered Jeep and her new Ac
ura. He refused to jump to conclusions. There was a rational explanation for everything. Taking the steps by twos back up to the deck, he returned to the front door and tried the knob. The heavy door opened. He stuck his head inside and called Alex’s name before letting himself in. He called again and the cats trotted to meet him.
As his eyes roamed the room, Alex appeared in the kitchen doorway. Ted jumped when he saw her. “Alex! Lord, you scared me. I couldn't tell if you were home.”
She was barefoot. Her hair looked as if she had been caught in a wind tunnel. Her hands tightened the belt of a beige, silky robe. “I just got in last night,” she said.
Ted’s heart began to pound, but he struggled to keep his tone light. “Doug’s rig’s parked outside.”
Maizie and Robert Redford purred and brushed Alex’s ankles. She sidestepped them and ran a hand through her disheveled hair. “He, uh, spent the night.”
Ted couldn’t find words, so he huffed and just stared at her.
Maizie and Robert Redford meowed in chorus, weaving between her feet. “Dammit, cats . . . ” She bent down and picked them up, one under each arm. “Ted—”
“Hey, Ted.” Doug came from the hallway into the kitchen, sleepy-faced and hair askew. He, too, was barefooted and the button at the waistband of his jeans was undone.
Ted didn’t need a drawn picture. The image of Doug and Alex together was all too vivid. His memory flew back twenty years when his steady’s best friend had told him Doug could make a girl do anything he wanted her to. The pedestal on which Ted had placed Alex began to crumble. “Hey, yourself, buddy.”
Ted couldn’t keep his words from sounding sharp and clipped. At this moment, he hated Doug Hawkins. He turned his eyes back to Alex. “Guess you don’t need me to feed the cats. Wish I’d known. I wouldn’t have made the trip up here.”
His eyes began to burn. Jesus Christ, he thought he might cry. He strode toward the front door, hurrying to escape before he embarrassed himself.
“Ted,” she said behind him, but he didn’t stop. He yanked the door open and slammed it behind him. The windows rattled, but he didn’t care if they all shattered. He strode across the deck, headed for the steps.
The Love of a Stranger Page 30