“He’s one of the reasons that we left two cycles ago with Elliott and brought him here to live with my brother. I’d heard rumors that his son had gone to Eirentheos, but I never knew if it was true. Nobody could imagine why he would want to. Hector has rewarded the Whittier family quite well for their loyalty to him. They’ve recently expanded their estate by another fifty acres.”
“Well now you know why. Because his granddaughter was consorting with the Eirenthean royal family.”
“It isn’t good news,” Gene said. “That family has influence everywhere. They could have taken Linnea anywhere – could get her across the border undetected.”
“So what do we do?” Quinn asked.
“We don’t fool around with trusting people like Stephen has done,” Charles cut in suddenly. “We don’t stop in Cloud Valley and give your position away to even more potential people. We get you to the castle as quickly as possible, and we end this.”
She frowned. “Eli in Cloud Valley is a Friend of Philip. Can’t we use all the help we can get right now?”
“I trust Eli,” Nathaniel said.
“Isn’t all of this trusting everyone what has us in this mess?” Charles said. “Mother trusted Hector. Stephen trusted some girl to come into his castle to see his son…”
Charles’ words made sense, Quinn knew. It didn’t feel right, but he wasn’t wrong, was he? All of this had been caused by trusting the wrong people. And Charles already had enough problems with her.
She nodded. “Fine. We won’t go to Cloud Valley. We’ll send a message with Sirian, letting Stephen know what we know about the Whittiers. Maybe it will help them know where to start looking. And we will keep traveling.”
Nathaniel gave her a strained look, but she ignored it. They’d only planned on stopping in Cloud Valley for the night anyway, and the night was over. They should keep traveling.
“Gene, will you please write down anything you know that might be important about the Whittiers that we can include in our message?”
* * *
“Tired?” William asked, as he helped Quinn down from Dusk when they finally stopped for the evening.
“I’m ready to be done riding.” She slid down into his arms and wrapped her arms around his waist.
“Did you sleep at all last night?” He’d been thinking about it as they rode – she’d mentioned waking up during the night, but he’d never gotten the chance to ask her about it.
“A little.”
“Dreams again?
“I don’t think so. Just regular trouble sleeping. If any of this is regular.” He pulled her closer to him, leaning down to kiss her forehead.
“Lady Quinn, Prince William?” They both turned to see Ben standing a few feet away from them. “May I take care of your horses for you?”
William paused, looking to Quinn, waiting to let her handle the request. She started to shake her head to object, and he squeezed her hand gently, a reminder.
“Yes, Ben, we’d appreciate that. Thank you,” she said.
When Ben was a few feet away, William leaned in close to her ear. “Perfect.”
She sighed. “It still doesn’t feel right. We’re not at the castle. I should be pulling my weight.”
“You are love; it just looks different now.”
“What is it supposed to look like, then? Me standing around watching while other people do my work? There aren’t any decisions to make right now. Should I walk around and supervise, tell people what to do?”
He sighed. “No, I think what you’re doing is fine. Actually…” he put his lips near her ear again, “I think everyone is trying to make as much effort as they can to give us some time alone. We did just get married.” He twined his fingers with hers, and brought both of their hands up to his lips, kissing her fingers.
She smiled, resting her head against his shoulder. “I suppose that’s true.” A moment later, though, she looked up at him and frowned. “You think maybe that’s what everyone is doing, or you heard someone say something about it?”
He grimaced. “I heard someone say something.”
“Who?”
“Ellen. She was talking to Henry and Charles. They didn’t realize how close I was to them.”
She closed her eyes. “I guess I shouldn’t have hoped that we’d avoid being teased if we were away from Thomas and Linnea.”
William swallowed hard. There’d been no hint of teasing in the conversation he’d overheard between Quinn’s aunt and uncles. If anything, it had been one of the more serious conversations he’d ever been privy to.
His reaction didn’t slip by her. “What aren’t you telling me?”
“I’m not specifically not telling you something. It just didn’t come up – until now – that I heard them talking about us.”
“What did they say?” Her voice was suspicious now.
He looked around. Everyone was working – setting up tents, unsaddling horses, digging into saddlebags for food. Nobody seemed to be paying any attention to them, but it wasn’t as private as this conversation should be, either. “Do you have your knife on you?” he asked.
Her eyes widened. “Constantly now. Why?”
“I just thought maybe we could go for a little walk. It’s probably an excessive precaution, but…”
“But that’s where we are right now,” she finished for him. “Do you have yours?”
“So, what did they say that has you too freaked out about my reaction to tell me where they can see me?” she asked, when they’d walked a little way into the woods.
“I’m not freaked out. I just thought we could use some privacy.”
“Liar. How bad was it?”
“It wasn’t bad…it was just…heavy.” He stopped walking, and leaned against a tree, reaching his hand out toward her. “You and I haven’t really talked about the biggest issue here – the prophecy.”
She looked down at the ground, kicking at a rock with her boot. “No, we haven’t.”
“I get why we haven’t,” he said, pulling gently at her hand so that she had to take a step closer to him. “Between the two of us, it wasn’t an issue. It’s not why I asked you to marry me, and I know it’s not why you said yes. But here we are. We’re married now, and the prophecy is still there, and it does mean something to other people.”
“I don’t even know if I believe in the prophecy.”
“I don’t know if I do either. But I don’t think it matters. If it’s real…we could fulfill it. If it’s not real, which it probably isn’t…our marriage is still pretty significant politically, Quinn. We’re still bringing together the crowns of Philotheum and Eirentheos. And that is huge to a lot of people. Including the people who are on this journey with us.”
“So they want to see us looking like we just got married.”
“Something like that.”
“Do they think we’re faking it – this is just a marriage of convenience?”
He looked to the sky for a moment, trying to come up with the best way to answer her question, but there just wasn’t an easy way. “I don’t think it would bother them if that’s what it was, love, so long as…” Warmth flooded up his neck.
“So long as what, Will?”
“So long as we produce an heir.”
Quinn coughed and took a step backward. “Is that what they were talking about today?”
“Yes.”
“An heir. Like, a baby.”
“That’s typically what it means, yes.”
“What, now?”
“I think they’re willing to wait nine moons.”
“We’ve been married for two days.”
“I know.”
“Us getting married and ‘fulfilling the prophecy’ isn’t enough for them? They want a baby, too?”
He took a deep breath. “You have to look at it from their point of view, Quinn. If we go through all of this, fight this battle, stop Tolliver’s bid for the throne…having someone to pass the throne to, to keep the line going
– that’s going to be a big deal.”
She closed her eyes for a long moment, and finally nodded. “I get it. I told you before, I do want children. I just wasn’t thinking about it now, that’s all. And it seems like you’re saying that everyone’s over there hoping we’re busy making a baby right now.”
William couldn’t help the chuckle that escaped. “I don’t think anyone is going to come looking for us, if that’s what you’re asking.”
She shot him a dark look. “I wasn’t asking.”
“You did ask what they were talking about. And I told you.”
“You’re right. I’m sorry – I shouldn’t take it out on you. I just…this is a lot.”
“Want to turn around now and go back to the gate? Go back to high school and worry about failing your World History class?”
“Is it bad that that’s sort of tempting right now?” She took a few steps away from him and sank down on a low tree stump.
“No. That sounds like a pretty normal reaction.” He crossed over to her; there was nothing else to sit on, but he didn’t care. He sat down on the ground in front of her stump, pulling his knees up to his chest, and setting his hands on her knees. “Are you serious? Because it’s not too late.”
She sighed. “No. I’m not serious, Will. I made this decision, and I’m not going to change it. I guess I just have to expect that some things are going to hit me like this – this is why everyone wanted me to take my time, isn’t it?”
“This, and a thousand other reasons, love. You’re not just changing your address.”
She smiled, placing her hands over his. “I should have seen this one coming, shouldn’t I?”
He shrugged.
“I mean, I know we’re married – not that I’ve gotten used to that – but the thought of having a baby just wasn’t even on my radar yet.”
He held her hands, running his thumb around her wedding band. “At the risk of pointing out the obvious, I could remind you that we haven’t exactly been doing anything to prevent that from happening.”
Her cheeks instantly turned a glowing shade of red. “Does it make me the biggest idiot in the world that I didn’t even consider that?”
“I don’t know. It’s not like I said anything to you, either.”
“Would you be okay with it?” she asked. “If I did get pregnant?”
“Okay with it isn’t the right way to put it.” He looked into her eyes. “This world is so different from the one where you grew up, Quinn. Sometimes I forget how different. It’s not even a question here, you know. We try to find ways to space children out sometimes, but most people aren’t big on preventing them from coming at all. Babies are good. Every child here is considered a gift from the Maker.
“I wouldn’t be okay with it if you were pregnant – I would be excited, wondering whether my child was going to be strong and beautiful like her mother, or quiet like me. I’d be sleeping with my hand on your stomach, hoping one night he’d wake me up with his tiny kicks…” He pulled on her hands, bringing her down onto his lap.
“I know this is strange and new and scary for you. I know it’s all coming so fast. But we’ll deal with it. I’m trying not to freak you out with every crazy detail you haven’t thought of…but I probably should have brought this one up before you had to deal with it like this.”
“I’d have probably had at least a minor melt-down no matter how you brought it up,” she said, smiling and wrapping her arms around his neck.
“Hey, we have a deal, remember? Either one of us is allowed to freak out whenever we need to – just not both of us at the same time. So, you worry about ruling a kingdom, and I’ll worry about the babies.”
It worked; she laughed. “Have I told you lately that I love you, Will?”
“Hearing that from the most incredible girl in two worlds could seriously over-inflate my ego you know, but I’ll take it.” He kissed her.
“Seems like it would be a shame to waste all of this privacy,” she said, looking around them.
“Then we’d better not.”
21. Fear
Quinn didn’t get a chance to speak with Nathaniel alone until the next afternoon. After several hours of traveling through thickly wooded areas, away from any kind of road, Marcus had finally brought them to a stop. There was a place near here where they’d been hoping to be able to cross the border without detection. Marcus and Ben had gone to check it out, leaving the rest of them in a sheltered area.
The run-in with the Friends of Philip the day before had grown their group; Eloise and Gene Bennett had decided to travel back to Philotheum with them and help how they could. This morning, Aelwyn had carried a message to Gene’s brother with a letter to little Elliott from his parents.
“We want to be proud of the Philotheum we bring him back to,” Gene had told Quinn when they’d spoken to her about their decision. “You’ve shown us already that you care enough about people to risk yourself. We want to see the throne restored to your family.”
The others, Weston Cook, and the other couple who’d been with them, the Evans’, had stayed behind.
Nathaniel was crouched by a small stream, refilling water pouches when Quinn approached him. “Can I talk to you?” she asked.
Nathaniel stood immediately, closing the top of one of the pouches. “Of course.”
“Are you mad at me?”
“Why would I be mad at you?”
“It’s just…yesterday, when I agreed with Charles that we wouldn’t stop in Cloud Valley – it seemed like you weren’t happy about that. And we’ve never really had a chance to talk since then.”
“We haven’t talked because things have been busy, Quinn. I’ll be honest – I didn’t agree with Charles about not trusting Eli enough to stop over in Cloud Valley, but I understand why you would make that call.”
“You think Charles was wrong.”
Nathaniel sighed. “I understand where he was coming from. I understand why he doesn’t think we should trust anyone. I know he thinks Stephen has been wrong to trust the people he’s trusted. But for me, yes, I think my brother is wrong in withholding trust from the people who have earned it.”
“Even though it’s incredibly dangerous right now? Look what happened with Linnea.”
Nathaniel looked at her thoughtfully. “Do you think Stephen was wrong to allow his son to bring his girlfriend into the castle?”
“It didn’t turn out very well.”
“Is that Stephen’s fault?”
She paused. “It’s not his fault, exactly, but he could have prevented it.”
“Do you know that?”
“What do you mean? If Catherine hadn’t been allowed into the castle, her family wouldn’t have been able to kidnap Linnea.”
“Not as easily, maybe. Maybe not in the same way, but if they were determined enough to do it, they probably still could have. In the meantime, Stephen might have done real damage to his relationship with his son.”
“So what, are you saying we should just trust everyone and cross our fingers that they won’t murder us in our sleep?” she snapped.
Nathaniel’s eyebrows rose into his hairline. “Really, Princess?”
Heat flooded her face; she didn’t even know where that tone in her voice had come from. “Sorry.”
“Good.” He nodded. “Because, queen or no, Quinn, I won’t put up with that. You have enough of an uphill battle getting people to take you seriously without adding acting like a spoiled brat to the list.”
She took a deep breath, swallowing back the sudden nauseated feeling. “You’re right, Nathaniel. I’m sorry. I shouldn’t have spoken to you like that.”
He put his hand on her shoulder and squeezed it gently. “It’s easy for me to forget that you’re only seventeen, and that in your world, seventeen is much younger than it is here.”
She closed her eyes for a long moment, steadying herself. “It doesn’t matter how old I am, Nathaniel. I don’t have any room for excuses.”
; His gray eyes were kind as he looked at her. “You have some room with me, but you’re right. Your every move, every action, every word is being watched carefully by others. It’s a lot of pressure. I’m not angry with you, but I am going to let you know when you cross a line.”
“I need you to.”
“Yeah, you do.” He smiled and leaned down to kiss the top of her head.
She wrapped her arms around his neck and hugged him. “Thank you, Uncle Nathaniel.”
“I’m here for you. You know that, right? I’m sorry that I haven’t always been, but I am here now.”
“I know.”
“Anyway, you were asking me about trusting people – I don’t know what all the right answers are, Quinn, and I know that times are scary. But I will tell you what I believe.”
She nodded.
“I believe that most of the great evil in the world happens not at the hands of malice, but of fear. Because good people, the ones who would do the right thing, don’t do it, out of that fear. Maxwell wasn’t wrong to trust Catherine Whittier. She was wrong to betray that trust. Stephen didn’t do the wrong thing when he trusted his son’s judgment.
“What would happen if Stephen really became mistrustful and fearful of everyone in his castle and his kingdom? You know who’s afraid of everyone and everything? My stepfather. And he’s raised his son, Tolliver, in that fear. It’s turned them into people who live believing that they need to crush everyone before they, themselves, get crushed. Fear is like a weed in a garden. Once you allow it to take root, it spreads, replicating itself, until, eventually, it chokes out all the other life there. Trust, love, kindness – none of those things can ever really bloom in a garden of fear.”
“But sometimes there’s actually something to be afraid of.”
“There’s always something to really be afraid of. Sharks are real, Quinn. You have to be reasonable – you don’t go swimming in shark-infested water with an open cut – but you don’t kill all of the sharks in the ocean, either. And you don’t avoid the ocean. You don’t spend your whole life never learning to swim or sail or surf just because sharks exist and sometimes they bite.”
Blooms of Consequence (Dusk Gate Chronicles - Book Four) Page 25