by Heidi Hormel
“Wow. So kind of you to tell me when you plan to sell my home.”
He almost laughed at her snarky comment. He might appreciate her backbone and the way she filled out her scrubs... Jeez...what was his problem? “Promise.” Her gaze stayed on him. He couldn’t look away. “Cross my heart, hope to die, stick a needle in my eye.” Now, what had made him say something that juvenile and stupid?
She laughed. “You know, Daddy Gene said that same thing.” Suddenly, she stopped smiling.
Her face settled into lines of pain, her eyes darkening. He knew that pain. He was feeling it, too. Missing Gene. The man who’d helped him become...a man, with his rough-and-tumble advice and affection. AJ reached out and dragged her into a hug, pulling her against him to stop the pain, for both of them. “I’m so sorry. I know how much Gene loved you and your mama.”
She didn’t move and he stared out over her head and into the expanse of scrubby desert and mountains around them. He’d never been in mountains with so little vegetation. In Kentucky, the only time a mountain looked this bad was after mining. Here it was the natural order of things. The lack of green wore on his eyes.
“I miss him. I miss him so much,” Pepper said in a hoarse whisper.
AJ wasn’t good at this sort of thing, never had been. But he couldn’t walk away from her sadness and tears. “I know, honey,” he said. He looked down at her, where she’d buried her face into his shoulder. Her hair was pulled back from a center part to a loose and messy bun at the back of her head. It had streaks of golden red in the light brown. The lush fullness surprised him. She appeared so tightly wound except for the softness of her hair, and her brightly colored toenails. No way should he be spending so much time determining the exact color of her hair or noticing that she had daisies painted on her toenails. He relaxed his hold a little, needing some space between them. She clutched at him.
“Not yet,” she whispered as a breath shuddered from her.
He brushed his cheek against her temple and he nearly kissed her, wanting to soothe her distress and let her know she wasn’t alone. Instead, he held her loosely against him. He could guess what her curves would feel like and what they might do to him if he pulled her closer. He wasn’t that much of a dog.
Her scent of spice and citrus filled his head, such a sweet fresh smell. It reminded him of the time between spring and summer, full of promise.
“Did Daddy Gene really talk about us when he was still riding bulls?” she asked, not moving her face from his shoulder.
“Sure.” This topic was much safer than where his mind had gone when his hand encountered the sexy deep curve of her waist. He’d just stopped himself from testing the swell of her hip. He kept his eye on a large cactus in the near distance. “He said that Faye loved turquoise and pepitas. Pumpkin seeds.” Pepper nodded so he went on. “He said you refused to let him get you another horse when yours died from colic.” Crap. Why had he brought up that story? He could feel the sadness course through her as she burrowed into his shoulder again, like she could hide there forever. Surprisingly, he would have let her if it would have helped.
“Toni,” she said, her voice muffled. “Her name was Antonia. I didn’t think I’d ever not be sad again. For a while, I wanted to be a vet, but then when Daddy Gene got sick the first time, I realized medicine—human medicine—was for me.” She relaxed against him.
He wrapped his arms more fully around her, wanting to...he wasn’t sure what, other than make her feel better, to lessen the sadness he felt in her every muscle and heard in her voice. She hadn’t asked for this any more than he had. They both needed to weather the situation as best they could. He could guess at her sorrow now. It was an echo of his own. He missed Gene. He’d been someone AJ knew he could count on if anything went wrong. He hadn’t kept in close touch during the years after Gene left the rodeo, but he’d known his cousin would be there if he needed him. “I’m sorry I didn’t get here earlier, before Gene passed, but...there was EllaJayne and her mama.”
Pepper stiffened and not from sorrow. Crap. His smooth tongue had deserted him. He usually wasn’t so clueless with women.
She pulled away and turned her head but he saw her wipe at her eyes. “I’m good now,” she said with taut determination. “What do we do? Shake hands?”
Chapter Four
Pepper thrust out her hand and stepped away from AJ’s heat. Shake hands and move on. That was what she needed to do. Forget she’d broken down in his arms and had liked—way too much—the warm strength of him. He took her hand in his and lingered for a second. She didn’t change her grip, making her gaze stay on him. How had she not seen the tiny white scar that stretched up from the corner of his upper lip and another on the outside of his dark brow? His face told her what she needed to know. A rodeo cowboy. They didn’t stick around.
“Okay?” he asked with soft gruffness.
She shifted her eyes to a place over his shoulder where she could see the mountains that surrounded Angel Crossing. “I’ll get you sitters’ names.” She could do this. She had to do this for herself, for Faye and for Angel Crossing. They were all counting on her.
As for the other part of this debacle, that he and EllaJayne remain at the ranch? That would be all right, too. No matter there would be months and months of sharing a bathroom, a kitchen. It would be very intimate. No. Cramped. And she’d already gotten a good view of a fit-for-bull-riding cowboy walking around in a towel.
Faye danced onto the patio, bouncing EllaJayne on her hip. “We’re going to breathe in the colors.”
“Grana,” the toddler agreed as they danced off.
Pepper gritted her teeth and glanced at AJ to gauge his reaction. Until she was a teen, Pepper had stayed at the ranch, with Faye homeschooling her. Then she’d gone to public school, where a cowboy wearing anything but Wranglers was cause for comment, and her mother’s unusual view of the world after years of living in a commune had mortified Pepper. Now, some days she could appreciate how growing up with Faye had taught her compassion and patience. Angel Crossing needed both. The residents were stubborn about changing anything, even things that would make them healthier.
“All done,” Faye said, snuggling her nose against the toddler’s. “The blue sky smelled like Aqua Velva and the white clouds made us both think sheets dried outside.” The little girl giggled.
“I’ll take her now,” AJ said, holding his arms out for his daughter.
“Wait,” Pepper said. Suddenly, the whole day felt too huge, like something had shifted in the world. Dear Lord, she was starting to sound like Faye. She dug deep for the calm and unemotional Pepper who took over during emergencies. “I want to make sure that we’re clear on our responsibilities.” AJ nodded. She went through the list, while she kept a professional eye on him. She needed to use her PA Spidey Senses. She could ferret out a lie at twenty paces—at least that’s what she told patients. She just wanted to be certain that he would stick by the agreement.
She looked at him hard. It didn’t take a medical degree to interpret his bloodshot eyes or the dark circles underneath. He was exhausted. Why hadn’t she noticed that before? She wanted to tell AJ to go get some sleep and she’d take care of everything. But he wasn’t her responsibility. She didn’t have to care for him. She needed her attorney to straighten out the will. Where you goin’ to find the dinero for that? Daddy Gene’s voice rang in her head. She’d find it because everyone she cared about—which didn’t include AJ and his daughter—was counting on her.
* * *
PEPPER QUIETLY CLOSED the door to the bedroom she now shared with her mother. AJ and his little girl had been given Faye’s room. Faye hadn’t minded—she hadn’t been spending much time there since Daddy Gene had died. Pepper could only imagine how long tomorrow would feel because last night she hadn’t gotten much more than an hour of sleep. Good thing Tuesday was a Dr. Cortez day. It meant her patient loa
d was reasonable.
Pepper headed to the kitchen, not needing to turn on any lights because Faye, as always, had left the house well-lit. Her mother, despite her love of the moon and staying up late, did not like the dark.
Having grown up in a commune, more or less, before Daddy Gene had showed up, Pepper had a high tolerance for sharing space. But sharing the house with AJ made it feel really, really small. Like right now, she could’ve sworn she smelled his scent of dusty leather, baby powder and...bubble gum? That last was new. It smelled like the flavoring in children’s medicine. She moved a little faster. Was EllaJayne sick?
AJ stood in the kitchen shirtless, the top button of his jeans undone so she could see the band of his tighty-whities. Stop looking, she told herself firmly as she stood in the shadows. She made her gaze move to his hand and the small white bottle he held.
“Is EllaJayne okay?”
“What?” He jerked around, the bottle dropping from his hand, pink syrup spraying everywhere. “Damn it.”
“Sorry. Didn’t mean to startle you,” she mumbled as the syrup dripped down his chest. His well-muscled chest. She had to stop noticing things like that right now. She rushed to the sink for a dishcloth and the cleaning supplies underneath.
“This stuff is sticky. What are you doing awake?” he whispered. She glanced over her shoulder to see him rubbing at the pink drops.
“Here,” she said, taking the cloth and wiping at his chest, using her best professional voice and touch. She concentrated on the pink syrup that had caught in the light furring of hair on his chest and the arrow...she looked back up. His pupils had enlarged so that his storm-gray eyes looked black. “Umm...maybe you can do that while I clean up the floor.” His hand covered hers. She didn’t feel threatened. Instead she felt his warmth and strength, and that was dangerous. Much more than dangerous. That kind of heat could make her...had made her...do stupid things. His mouth softened and the ends curled just a little as his gaze moved over her. She scrutinized his well-defined jaw, hollowed cheeks and the strong column of his neck before focusing on the small white scar that looked doubly pale against his dark skin in the shadows made by the night lights in the kitchen. She wanted to use the tip of her tongue to trace that little ridge of skin and then listen to his breathing catch and his skin pebble and shiver with excitement.
He cleared his throat and the spell of near darkness, his heat and her own addled brain startled her back to reality. She stepped back quickly, not even cringing when she felt the sticky syrup on her sole.
“If you need a refill for EllaJayne, stop by the clinic tomorrow.” She turned slowly, refusing to run from the kitchen, even though that’s what she should do. “I think you can clean up the rest of the spill.”
“It’s been years since anyone bathed me, but I think I might like it.”
She swung around. He was a macho, jerk bull rider. They were the worst of the worst, Daddy Gene had told her, and he should know since he’d been one of them for a while. Crazy enough to climb on the back of three-quarters of a ton of testosterone-pumped muscle again and again. She needed to remember that about AJ. He was not the man who awkwardly tried to care for his daughter, making her heart go “aww” and her hands itch to smooth the daughter and father’s similarly frowning faces.
“Good night,” she finally said when he wouldn’t stop looking at her.
“You know, your mother told me that she’d seen my arrival—something to do with your sign and a chart.”
Pepper pulled in a breath and let it out slowly through her nose. Why couldn’t her mother say normal motherly things, like stay away from my daughter, you no-good rodeo bum? Because that sort of comment had been Daddy Gene’s job and he wasn’t here. “Faye also believes that a bit of bacon and the water drawn from a well on the new moon cures ingrown toenails.” She walked away from him, like a woman who knew where she was going, not one running away from herself.
* * *
AJ STARED AT the unfamiliar ceiling, wishing he were in an anonymous hotel room in an anonymous town. His daughter’s cranky whimpers would soon be a full-throated I’m-up-and-I-want-attention yell. From his short time as a dad, he’d learned he had another forty-five seconds of peace. He’d take those measly seconds to remind himself he’d climbed on bulls bent on killing him. Dealing with the constant worry and anxiety Baby Girl’d brought into his world was a cake walk, with a huge wobbly cake.
His daughter’s cry stopped his thoughts. He had the morning routine down: diaper, T-shirt, socks and then into the car seat so he could use the bathroom without her wandering off. Not that it had worked so well when he’d been fixing the truck. Maybe bungee cords would hold her in the seat? Even he knew that was a bad idea.
He got both of them cleaned up without running into any of the women. Not surprising since EllaJayne liked to wake before the sun. On the bright side, she’d allow him twenty minutes of uninterrupted peace for his first cup of coffee while she sat in his lap sipping her morning milk. It was a part of the day that he could feel almost competent at this fathering thing.
He took both of them out onto the patio to enjoy the cool breeze with EllaJayne wrapped in a little sparkly pony sweatshirt in eye-searing green. He enjoyed the first dark hit of his coffee and Baby Girl’s warm head against his shoulder as he watched the pink rays of sun warm the horizon. For those suspended-in-time moments, all was right in the world.
“Oh, you’re out here,” Pepper said accusingly.
AJ jerked, spilling coffee on himself with a few drops landing on EllaJayne’s thick sweatshirt. The little girl squalled. “Shit,” he said as he checked her for burns. The hot liquid had splashed across her sweatshirt, which meant he needed to change her. For a toddler who had bad aim with a spoon, Baby Girl was particular about her clothing.
“Did you burn her?”
“No thanks to you,” he shot back as he stood with his daughter, who had pitched her sippy cup to the ground where it popped open and spilled. His own jeans were stained with coffee, too, and he knew he’d have a nice red welt. “I’ll clean up out here after I change EllaJayne...again.”
Pepper opened her mouth to say something then closed it. Her gaze moving from his face downward, skimming quickly over his crotch. “Umm...you okay?” she asked grudgingly.
“Are you going to examine me?” he asked. Her head snapped up and their eyes met. The heat that had filled the space between them last night was back, searing and unexpected. His daughter’s head thumped his chest as she wiped her tear-streaked face against his once-clean shirt. Back to reality. “Next time warn me.”
He made a strategic retreat. Inside, her dog gave him a cocked-head stare that said: Don’t mess with her, buddy.
After he’d redressed himself and his daughter, he returned to the kitchen to make breakfast. He needed to talk to Danny about where to find work. He’d turned down Pepper’s half-hearted offer to help him look. His guess was that she hoped if he didn’t have a job, he’d move along.
AJ heard the shower running and worked really, really hard to not imagine Pepper in there, naked, wet and soapy. Dear Lord, what was his problem? He heard Baby Girl in her high chair starting to wind up for another good cry. Just as he turned to deal with her, Faye entered the kitchen with a vague smile on her face.
“I dreamed good things for you, Arthur John.”
“AJ,” he corrected as he pulled out the last container of yogurt for his daughter. His coffee would have to be enough until he could find a grocery store. All the food from the memorial had been eaten over the weekend or was in the freezer. He didn’t recognize anything in the fridge. He’d learned already to be very, very wary when Faye offered him a meal.
“I have goat yogurt. Much better than store-bought,” she said.
“We’re good,” AJ said as he offered a spoon of the pink goop. His daughter quickly made her way through
the yogurt.
“Neither of you were burned. Good,” Pepper said as she walked into the kitchen, giving him a professional once-over glance. Silence filled the room. Both Faye and EllaJayne remained quiet as he and Pepper stared at each other. He couldn’t turn his head. Her honey-brown hair lay on her shoulders in damp whirls. The scrubs, shapeless on anyone else, highlighted her curves and showed off the length of her thigh. His gaze landed on her toes, the nails with their cheery flowers and neon color.
He’d promised himself that he’d mend his cowboy ways now that he was a daddy. No more women, at least until he got the hang of being a father, which meant his next date would be around the time EllaJayne left for college.
“Do you want me to make you breakfast?” Faye asked Pepper. Finally, AJ could look away.
“I can’t be late today. Dr. Cortez is in.”
“Oh, my,” Faye said and turned to dig in the refrigerator. “Okay. I’ll make breakfast for Arthur John.”
He’d rather face Tornado the bull again. “I’m good, ma’am.”
He quickly got himself and EllaJayne into the truck. He’d stop somewhere for food, maybe take donuts for Danny as payment for his advice. In town, he drove by the Angel Crossing Medical Clinic. Why couldn’t he have met Pepper six months ago, before Baby Girl, before his life had gone from fun to grinding responsibility? Six months ago, he’d have taken her out for dancing and drinks and then back to his room. Well, maybe. If he was honest with himself, those anonymous hotel rooms and buckle bunnies had lost their allure. He’d just not figured out what else to do with himself. Now he had a new life, whether he wanted it or not. No use crying over spilled moonshine because he had EllaJayne to care for and was stuck at Santa Faye Ranch. Once he sold the property, he’d have the cash to make sure Baby Girl stayed with him permanently. Of course, until that happened he needed to make money. He didn’t care how, really, just so long as it put bills in his pocket and it was legal. Okay, cowboy, he told himself. Saddle up and get to work.