by Heidi Hormel
“We’ve all got bills. But you’ve also got a little girl.”
He stepped up to her, wanting to make her understand he had no choice. He was down to the best of the bad choices. “Pepper.” He put his hand gently on her arm. Mistake. Big Mistake. “Pepper, I have to.” He pulled her into an embrace, speaking softly into her hair. “Honey, I’ve got to do this. There’s no other way until I can sell the ranch.” For a second, such a brief moment, she relaxed into him and her arms reached around him. He leaned back enough to take her chin, gave her a chance to pull away, then kissed her. Kissed her for the weeks, months he wouldn’t be around to see her, touch her and be with her. Oh, God, she was so spicy sweet. How could he leave her? Sheep tails!
Chapter Eleven
Pepper pulled AJ even closer as his mouth explored hers gently, insistently. The shift of muscle under his shirt took her right back to the lounge. Him. Over her, under her. No. She pulled away, and it felt like tearing a bandage off a wound. He could...would hurt her so badly if she allowed it.
She stepped farther away, feeling the loss of his warmth even under the morning sun that was quickly heating up the patio. She made sure her gaze didn’t land on the lounge.
His hand went to his nape and rubbed hard. “I’ve got to go. I’ve got no choice. All I need from you is to watch over EllaJayne. If you won’t...then I’ll take her along. I’ll figure something out. I always do.”
So he’d use blackmail? He knew she wouldn’t allow him to drag that baby over hill and dale, staying with who knew who. The man didn’t have the sense God gave...a...a damned llama. “You’re fighting dirty and you know it.” His jaw tightened and his eyes darkened to rainstorm-gray. Good. He knew she knew what he was doing. “I can’t let you bring that toddler on the road. I’ll take care of her.” She straightened her shoulders because she wouldn’t be walked over. “But I have rules.”
“Of course you do.”
She ignored the snide tone. She needed these concessions. “You will call every day to speak with EllaJayne. You’ll give me a schedule of when you expect to visit the ranch. Finally, I must be listed on any forms as your emergency contact and as the person medical information can be released to.”
“Why would I do that?”
“Because I want to make sure you’re okay for EllaJayne.” Yep, that and he was a patient.
“That’s it? I do that and you’ll look after her, you and Faye and Grammy Marie?”
What was she agreeing to? To do what had to be done. He was going no matter what she said. She’d come to care for EllaJayne. Her decision was the only one that made sense. “We’ll do it as long as you agree to my conditions. When do you leave?” She needed to stay all business and not think about ending up back in his arms.
“Ten days. I’ll catch up with Dave in New Mexico.” He stood on the patio looking...she didn’t know exactly like what, except she had to turn away to keep herself from kissing him again, telling him he shouldn’t go and that she’d miss him.
Before her brain fully engaged and made her shut up, she said, “It would take me a little time—I need to pay off my attorney and some other bills—but remember me saying that I could pay you for the house and some acreage over time, like rent to own? You’d still have plenty of land to sell and you’d be getting money while you waited for a buyer. What would be left is better for running cattle anyway.” It was the land Daddy Gene had rented out to the next ranch, until they’d closed up shop.
He shook his head and rubbed his nape again. “I can’t wait. It’s for EllaJayne,” he said, raking his fingers through his hair.
The night she’d played barber came back to her, in every nerve ending. Focus on EllaJayne. “It won’t be that long, and you might even end up with more money.”
“You don’t get it. Faye acts like...well, Faye, but she loves you like any other mama. She would never abandon you.”
Pepper couldn’t understand exactly where the conversation was headed now. She stayed quiet.
“You know that EllaJayne’s mama allowed her to go to foster care,” he said and paced away from Pepper, hands clenched at his sides. “A little baby. She just dumped her. I don’t know why...it doesn’t matter why or why she didn’t tell me I had a daughter. When I agreed to take Baby Girl...there was paperwork and Suzy, EllaJayne’s mama, said she wanted money. For enough cash, she agreed to sign away her rights, that EllaJayne would be all mine. The next payment is due and if I default, Baby Girl goes back to Suzy, which means she’ll end up who knows where until I can get to court and prove I’m the daddy and sue for full custody.”
Dear Lord, that poor little girl. And AJ. What a burden. She’d made it worse with her insistence on fighting the will, drawing out the settling of the estate. Why hadn’t he said anything before? Maybe because she’d been such a pain in his behind. Right now, she needed to act like the adult she was. “AJ,” she said as she approached him. “I had no idea. Of course you’ve got to get the money. If I had any, I would give it to you.”
He turned, his eyes so dark with pain and fear, her heart stopped for a second. “I know you would. That’s the only reason I feel right about leaving EllaJayne.”
Pepper didn’t know why but that simple statement made her chest tighten. He trusted her. Really trusted her. Not because she had letters after her name or because it made things convenient for him, but for her, for what she’d said and done. She took his hand, calloused and rough, but so solidly male and dependable. He might be a rootless bull rider, but he did what he could to protect those he loved. He hadn’t walked away from his daughter. He stepped in and stepped up.
“Thank you,” she said to him as she gave his hand, the one that had touched her so gently, a squeeze. “I...just thank you for trusting me with your daughter. We care about her and want her to be safe and happy.”
“That’s all I want. Just that. It’s not too much to ask, is it? But the darned universe wants to mess it all up.” He squeezed her hand back as the frustration made his voice deeper and cloudier.
“You know what Daddy Gene used to say? The universe can go take a flying leap.” He stared at her. “He usually said that to Faye.”
“Sounds like Gene. What do you think he’d say about the situation now?”
Talking about Daddy Gene didn’t hurt so much with him. “He’d say ‘Pepper-dew, a cowboy’s gotta do what a cowboy’s gotta do.’”
“What does that even mean?” His eyes cleared a little, but he didn’t drop her hand. Her gaze stayed on him, taking in the soft curve of his lips, the straight shoulders and suntanned skin.
“How would I know? I’m not a cowboy.” She smiled when she saw his lips curve and his shoulders relax.
“If I could stay, I would.” AJ gripped her hand and his mouth straightened into a firm line.
“I know. Maybe you really aren’t a cowboy. Aren’t you supposed to be a tumblin’ tumbleweed?”
“Not Kentucky cowboys. We’re the kind who stick around.”
What was he saying? She searched his face, his eyes...something flashed there right before he lowered his head and took her mouth with his. How could this feel so right when he was leaving, no matter what he said about Kentucky cowboys. His arm wrapped around her and pulled her flush to him. She couldn’t stop herself from stroking the rigid nape of his neck with her free hand, massaging at the tightness and the vibrating strength of him. She lifted herself onto her toes to put her mouth more solidly on his. He hummed his approval just before unsealing her lips to taste her fully, to make her understand exactly what a cowboy had to do.
When the patio came back into focus, Pepper’s hands held onto his arms not sure whether she wanted him closer or farther away. The kiss had been unexpected. She had to be honest with herself, though. It hadn’t been unwanted. What did she want, then? Hell. She wanted AJ, a rodeo cowboy with a baby, a
debt and more integrity than sense, to be her cowboy.
* * *
FOR THE WEEK since AJ had told Pepper he’d be hitting the road, he’d been preparing himself and EllaJayne. That hadn’t been as odd or as difficult as dealing with the population of Angel Crossing. When he’d gone to town to pick up this and that at the small, convenience home-improvement-feed store, he’d gotten unsolicited advice that all suggested he’d better keep his zipper up and locked while on the road. Grammy Marie had been the bluntest. She’d said: “AJ, you know we all know how to skin a rabbit and shoot a buck. Don’t make us test out our aim and sharpen our knives.”
Even Faye had said something about his trip. Her warning was cloaked in astrological signs, but he’d known what she meant: keep it in his jeans.
He’d wanted to confront Pepper to find out what she’d been saying to their neighbors, but his housemate had been coming in late and leaving early. She might be avoiding him. He was leaving day after tomorrow and the final errands and chores would fill up all those hours.
Today he and Danny were having lunch at the town’s one sad diner. AJ pushed his way into the Devil’s Food. The red-vinyl-topped chrome stools at the long Formica counter were full and the booths with the same red vinyl seats and worn tabletops were mostly occupied. The diners’ choices leaned toward coffee and pie.
He saw Danny in a far booth and two oldsters standing and wagging fingers at him. This place was just like Pinetown without the pine trees and slag heaps. The one diner in his hometown was always on the edge of killing patrons with the sameness of the fare and filled with seniors with more opinions than sense. Danny looked relieved when AJ walked up and slid into the booth. The couple were one of those weather-beaten twosomes whose clothing, while not matching exactly, looked alike. AJ smiled at them.
“Don’t grin like an idiot,” the woman said. “You’re leaving Pepper with your baby.”
The man chimed in before AJ could gather his wits. “Marie said she’s been watching the little one and you seemed like an okay daddy. Now you’re just up and running off.”
AJ tried to figure out if there was a question in there. “I’ve got a job with the rodeo.”
The two shook their heads. “Heard that,” the woman said. “Just like Gene when he first came to town. Think you can be a family man and chase around the country.”
“No, ma’am,” AJ said. “Just trying to make a little money until I—”
“Thanks, Loretta,” Danny broke in. “I appreciate that you and Irvin are only looking out for the little girl. I’ll keep an eye on the situation. AJ and I go way back.”
The couple glared hard at AJ before making their goodbyes.
“Don’t worry,” Danny said. “It’s just the Angel Crossing grapevine. Not much goes on, so whatever happens at the clinic or anywhere else in town gets passed around quickly. Marie might be a good kid sitter, but she likes to visit with friends here in the back room and I’m sure you and your daughter have been a hot topic.”
“I thought Pinetown was bad. It’s got nothing on this.”
“We’re tight. Have to be so far from much of anything, even the Angel Crossing community college campus is a thirty-minute drive.”
AJ decided to move the conversation along. “What should I order?”
“So you’ve heard about the diner. It’s fine. Whatever problems they had were months ago. A bad cook. There’s a new one and he’s getting things ship-shape. I’m going to have the Cowboy Casserole, nice spicy chili and corn chips with plenty of cheese. Can’t go wrong with that combo.”
“Sounds good.”
“So what do you need from me?”
“Why would you think I need something?”
“Other than that one drink, I haven’t heard from you.”
“Been busy.” Danny’s gaze called BS on that comment. “Things have gotten complicated.”
“What I heard. So you’re getting extra friendly with our Pepper? Damn it, AJ.”
“No one’s business.”
“This is Angel Crossing. It’s everyone’s business.”
“So everyone’s concerned now, huh?”
“It’s not just Pepper but that little girl of yours Marie dotes on.”
“Good thing, then, that I’m talking with the mayor about looking after all of them.”
“What do you mean ‘looking after all of them’?” Danny’s normally smiling face darkened into a frown.
“Run out to the ranch a few times a week to help with the Beauties—”
“Beauties?”
A woman’s voice cut in, “So, mayor, what you up to now? Getting a beauty pageant started? I’ll sign up for that.”
“Marlena, that just wouldn’t be fair.” Danny grinned at the frizzle-haired waitress, who wore blue jeans hacked off at the knee and a plaid cowgirl shirt that had had scissors taken to its sleeves, too. Her lined face fell comfortably into a grin.
“You got that right. Now, whadya have?” She took their order and poked fun at Danny, glared at AJ before insulting another customer on her way behind the counter where she pushed their order through a long rectangular window that gave a glimpse into the kitchen.
“Back to these Beauties,” Danny said.
“Faye’s alpacas and llamas. They don’t need a lot of work and Pepper will help if she has the time. And speaking of the lady, her garden will need work, too. She takes care of the weeding and such. I usually haul out the fertilizer, otherwise known as manure, and move the irrigation and portable greenhouses. She has a list. She’s really good at those.”
“So you’re a farmer now.”
“I live on Santa Faye Ranch. I help out where I can.”
“Uh-huh.”
“It’s what a normal human being does.” Danny was really starting to annoy him. “Finally, I need to ask you to be backup transport for EllaJayne. She’ll still be going to Grammy Marie’s, but sometimes Pepper can’t pick her up or drop her off, and you know Faye can’t drive.”
“What do you mean she can’t drive? Everybody drives.”
“Not Faye. She talked about putting a baby seat on her bicycle. We talked her out of that. Maybe with Gene...gone and Pepper so busy, she’ll reconsider learning to drive. So...Pepper or Faye can call you?”
“I guess. But I don’t have a kid seat or anything.”
“I’ll leave mine.” AJ had to fight to not choke up. What the hell?
“Are you going to cry like a—”
“I rode Killer Storm.” No need to say more. He’d broken bones and not complained. Nothing was going to leak out of his eyes now. Thank God and little green apples, Marlena showed up with big bowls of Cowboy Casserole. He and Danny ate and talked about men they’d known in the rodeo. They also talked about which bulls AJ should consider riding to put him in the money. They both turned down the pie that seemed popular, although AJ nearly took a piece for later. He thought better of it when he realized he’d have to hide it. Boxes of candy were easy. Pie, not so much.
“I still have to wonder why you’re here. I mean, you’re selling the ranch, right?”
“Easier than other options.”
“Could be. But you never really said what might be going on between you and Pepper. Claudette said—”
“We’re housemates. My God, she and her mother are sharing a room. Me being on the road will be a good thing.”
“As you well know, Faye lived in a commune. Her idea of what’s right and proper isn’t quite the same as most folks around here.” Danny gave him a level stare, his blue eyes boring into AJ’s brain.
“No one’s business.”
“You dog. I knew there was another reason you were hanging around.”
“I told you why I’m here.”
“Yep. You said it was easy.” Danny actuall
y waggled his eyebrows. AJ wanted to reach across the faded Formica tabletop and strangle him. What went on between him and Pepper was private.
“Nothing is going on,” he said evenly, hoping to shut Danny up.
“That’s not the AJ I know.”
“That AJ is long gone. Disappeared as soon as I found out I had a daughter.”
“Not so sure. After all, there’s you and—”
This time he didn’t stop himself. His hand shot across the table and snatched at Danny’s collar, twisting it. “I told you it’s none of your business, if there was anything going on. And there isn’t. Do you understand?”
“Boys,” Marlena said. “What’s that sign say? Take it outside.”
AJ let go, stood and stared hard at Danny. “I expect you to answer your phone. And I expect you to treat Pepper with respect.”
Danny somehow looked unruffled but a knowing smile stretched his lips just before he said, “Hot damn. Lavonda is going to owe me fifty dollars.”
Chapter Twelve
“Did you ask the mayor to call me?” Pepper inquired as she and AJ made a final tour of the crops. EllaJayne was settled for the night with Butch curled up on the floor near her playpen that doubled as a make-shift crib. Faye was in the living room watching a movie. The ranch felt strangely quiet. Expectant. AJ left tomorrow. Her feelings about that were complex.
“I talked with him about being on call if you needed anything.”
“This was about the garden and a grant that would allow me to rehab lots in town. I’ve been asking him about the town gardens for weeks.”
“Nope. Didn’t say anything about any of that.”
Could something finally be going her way? Something other than AJ leaving. And she only cared about that because it meant she had another responsibility to add to the teetering stack. The little sting right around her heart had nothing to do with anything. They stopped at the end of the row. Now what?