BABY ROYAL

by Bella Grant

  “You think? Except when we are all together for the birthday of this baby or some such event. If I decide to tell Lucas about our child, that is.”

  She shook her head at me in wonder. “You think you can keep it from him forever? That’s the same guy who came here every single day when you were in the hospital.”

  The phone rang, saving me from having to comment. I was surprised to see it was a call from my mother, then I remembered she’d wanted to talk to me but I had been so overwhelmed, listening to anything more from her had not been an option. Now I wasn’t with Lucas, I could hear what she had to say without him asking me about it afterwards. What she wanted to say to me earlier had seemed private or she would never have attempted to pull me one side.

  “Hello,” I answered before the call went to voicemail. I couldn’t decide if I should call her Mom, Mother, or just Claire. I’d called her all three at some point in our conversation earlier, but each sounded weird from my lips. Mom was way too personal, Mother seemed a bit stiff, and Claire sounded rude.

  “Debra, it’s me, your mother,” she replied. “Did you get back to campus okay?”

  “Yes, we got back some fifteen minutes or so ago.”

  “Okay, great. I was checking up on you.”

  “Uh…oh, okay then.”

  But for someone who was just checking up on me, she didn’t seem inclined to get off the phone. I was aware Ruby wasn’t hiding her open curiosity and listening to my side of the conversation.

  “Is there something else you wanted?” I asked her.

  “I’m glad you asked,” she responded. “Because there is, in fact, one more thing I wanted to talk to you about.”

  “Let me guess, my relationship with Lucas.”

  “Exactly. How is that going for you guys?”

  “It’s okay. Look, we’re not going to let your marriage to his dad mess up what we have. It has nothing to do with you two.”

  “How long have you known him, Debra?”

  “Does it matter?”

  “Please, just humor me.”

  “Last December,” I answered grudgingly.

  “Just four months,” she calculated aloud. “Hardly enough time to know a person fully, and the way you talk about him now, it seems you’re already neck-deep in a relationship with him.”

  “Mother, I don’t know what you’re trying to say—”

  “I’m trying to say that sometimes, we get attracted to a man for all the wrong reasons.”

  “Are you saying I’m with him for the money?” I demanded angrily because it sure as hell sounded like what she meant with that comment. “I’m sorry to burst your bubble, Mom, but not everyone’s head get spun easily by what a man has. I happen to love Lucas for the person he is.”

  “Love?” she echoed. “Honey, all I’m saying is that Lucas grew up with Gregory Caine, and while the Caine men can be charming and they know how to treat a woman, they don’t know how to do anything but pursue serial monogamy. They won’t cheat, but months or years down the line, they trade you in for a newer model.”

  “Lucas is nothing like his dad, and I resent you trying to describe the two in such unflattering light.”

  “Just answer me this and I’ll let it go. Before you, how many girlfriends did he have?”

  “Goodbye, Mother.”

  “Debra, I’m trying to—”

  I hung up before she could finish her statement. I was so mad—mad at her and Lucas and mad at the mess I was in. I was becoming more and more embroiled in a helpless situation. My phone rang again. It was her calling back. I ignored it and after ringing a third time, she got the hint and stopped calling.

  Thankfully, Ruby didn’t comment because if she had, I was in a foul enough mood to snap off her head. The mood had very little to do with my hormones and everything to do with my mother’s words seeping into me and making me doubtful about Lucas. To be fair, didn’t I already have my own doubts, and wasn’t this the reason I kept the baby a secret? Until I was sure he loved me enough and could love our baby the same?

  My mother had a point about Lucas’ past girlfriends. Hadn’t he told me he was used to playing the field and not settling for one woman? If that wasn’t an indication of being easily bored with women, then I didn’t know what was.

  With a heavy heart, I brought up the texting app on my phone Lucas and I used to chat and typed out a message to him that I erased and deleted several times. I didn’t want my message to him to sound final. I wanted to leave it hanging for possible reconciliation if that was desired after being apart for a while. I needed to avoid him, anyway, as my waist had started thickening. I was amazed he hadn’t figured things out yet since he’d commented before that I had put on weight.

  This was best, I decided when my finger hovered over the send button. I had to let him go until I decided whether I would tell him about the baby or keep it a secret forever. The latter was hard to do, but I was convinced I could do it.

  Before I could change my mind, I hit the send button and instantly regretted it, but it was already done and I would continue with it. This baby was more important to me than anything, even Lucas, and I would take care of its needs first. A daddy who didn’t want him or her wasn’t a part of the plan.

  Still, it hurt when an instant message popped up from Lucas’ phone. It was a one word message.

  Okay.

  This was what I wanted, wasn’t it? Then why did it hurt? Because I expected him to fight for us. I expected a reaction out of him that would assure me he didn’t want us to take a time off as my message had suggested.

  His response was all I needed.

  Lucas

  Pissed at the way our relationship was heading south, I watched Debra walk out of sight before entering my dorm, ignoring those sitting in the lounge who called out to me. I was pissed that she would allow something so simple to affect us. What did it matter that our parents had been in a brief relationship? My dad was long over her mother. He never held a grudge against any of the women he was with, and her mother wasn’t hurting over the things she’d gained from him either.

  They were both grown ass people who had made their own horrible mistakes. Why should it have any bearing on us?

  In my suite, I stripped and went straight to the shower, turning on the cold tap instead of the warm. The water streaming over me did little to soothe my anxiety. Why couldn’t we catch a break? The first time I decided I would settle with one girl, and it was such a damn headache. No wonder breakups happened with such frequency, but that wasn’t an option between us. I loved her. I wanted her in my life, and nothing and no one was going to come between us. Not her mother. Not my dad.

  Turning off the tap, I wrapped a towel around my waist, deciding to air dry. I applied my favorite Calvin Klein deodorant before walking back into the bedroom.

  “What the hell are you doing here?”

  A startled Rozanne dropped my phone onto the small table where I’d placed it and her cheeks flooded a bright red with guilt.

  “I-I wanted to see if-if you wanted anything.”

  “Aren’t you supposed to be with Kevin?” I asked her. “And how did you get into my room anyway?”

  “I made a copy of your spare,” she replied a little smugly. “How else do you think I got in when you used to walk in on me naked in your bed?”

  I hadn’t been thinking. I’d been simple-minded then, only wanting to slake my lust, and she was always so willing and ready.

  “Give me the key,” I demanded, holding out my hand.

  After much hesitation, she pulled it from the tight pocket of her short denim skirt but instead of handing it to me, she dropped it into her underwear.

  “Come and get it.”

  “Don’t worry. I’ll just have the locks changed. Please leave, Rozanne.”

  She glared at me. “You’re not tired of that chick you’ve been hanging around? Everybody’s talking about you two, you know. She’s not right for you. She’s a nobody. Why would you want that
when you can have all this?”

  “Simple, I love her. I don’t love you. Aren’t you supposed to be with Kevin anyway?”

  “I got bored.” She sulked at me. “You’re still the best I’ve ever had. I know I’m the best you’ve had too. Why can’t we go back to the way things were?”

  “Did you hear a word I said? I love her, Rozanne, and I wouldn’t cheat on her for the world.”

  “Yeah, well, if she loves you back why does she want a break from you?”

  “What?”

  Instead of answering, she smirked and walked off, exaggerating the sway of her hips. I remembered she had been looking at my phone when I got in. Shit. I had the message feature activated where I could read and respond to a message even when the phone was locked. I’d found it convenient when having an ongoing text conversation instead of having to unlock the phone every time I received a message.

  Retrieving the phone, I swiped my pattern lock and found the message folder. Message received from Debra at 3:17p.m.

  Lucas, with everything that has happened, I think we should take a break from each other. I’ve too much going on right now. I’m behind in my classwork and there’s the relationship with my parents to work on. I’m not saying we have to make us final, but I need a break to sort my head out.

  Below her was a response Rozanne had taken it upon herself to send.

  Okay.

  I didn’t make any effort to halt the expletives that came from my mouth. Better to get them all out of my system now anyway, rather than later when I confronted Debra. I snagged the towel from my waist and rubbed it over my body, not drying properly before I threw clothes on and locked up.

  It took me less than five minutes to make it over to Debra’s. Her roommate answered when I knocked.

  “Uh, can I help you?” she asked nervously.

  “Is Debra in?”

  “Umm,” she glanced frantically behind her as if not knowing what to do before she held the door open. “Sure, come on in. I was heading out, anyway.”

  “Thanks,” I told her, watching her go although I was pretty sure she hadn’t been about to do such a thing.

  When she left, I closed the door behind her and turned my attention to Debra. She sat up in the bed, her legs drawn up to her knees, looking at me warily.

  “Why didn’t you tell me face to face you wanted a break instead of taking the coward’s way out and sending me a text?” I asked her heatedly.

  “Because I thought about it and it makes sense.”

  “Bullshit. She got to you, didn’t she? Did she call you or did you call her?”

  “I don’t know what you’re talking about.”

  “Don’t lie to me, Debra! I’m talking about your mother! Why did you think I insisted we go instead of letting her talk to you at her house? I could tell she was waiting to spin you a fine tale about my dad and how I’m supposedly like him. I’m right, aren’t I?”

  “What are you mad about?” she shouted at me. “And what are you doing here anyway? Your text said you were okay with us taking a break.”

  “That wasn’t me and I definitely am not okay with us taking a break.”

  “What do you mean it wasn’t you?”

  I paused, not sure how to explain. This was a precarious position I’d put myself in.

  “Someone saw the message and replied without my permission.”

  “Who?” Trust her not to leave it at that explanation.

  “It doesn’t matter who. I didn’t send it. I don’t want a break.”

  “There’s only one reason you can’t answer my question,” she mused aloud. “Some girl sent it. You decided to find someone so quickly to replace me because I wouldn’t go back to your dorm?”

  I scowled blackly at her. “Don’t be ridiculous. I didn’t invite anybody over. She-she had a key but she and I were over before you came into the picture.”

  “How very convenient for you,” Debra drawled. “From one woman to the next. Might you alert me when you’ve found my replacement?”

  Striding over to her bed, I sat and took her by the shoulders, shaking her a little. “That’s not you talking, Debra. That’s your mother. You know I’m not into anybody else but you.”

  “For now.”

  I let her go before I gave into temptation to shake her hard enough to make her teeth rattle. We were going around in circles and this wasn’t helping us in the least.

  “The bottom line, Debra, is that I don’t want a break from you. You’re the best thing in my life. Nothing holds as much significance as you and I am not going to give that up. Not now, not ever.”

  “Except it’s not your choice,” she responded stiffly. “I need some time away from you to think. I’ll be going home for Spring Break.”

  “Then I’ll go with you.”

  She shook her head, turning down my suggestion. “No. I intend to go alone. You’re not getting the whole idea of this taking a break, are you?”

  “That’s you being there over a week by yourself, Deb!”

  “I know, exactly what we need. I’m sure if you need anything, the girl in your room can help you out.”

  “I told you, she meant nothing to me.”

  “I believe you, probably the same way I’ll mean nothing to you when you break up with me.”

  I rolled my head heavenward and threw my hands up in frustration. “I give up! I’m not having this back and forth argument with you. I told you she showed up uninvited. I’m having the locks changed.”

  She stared blankly at the wall, not responding. I dropped back down to the bed beside her, causing her to bounce a little on the mattress. I took her by the chin and brought her face around until she looked at me. It was time to bring out the big guns. It made me start sweating, but she didn’t have to know how hard this was for me.

  “Debra, I love you,” I admitted and her eyes widened, her face going pale. “It shouldn’t surprise you. Everything I’ve done, the way I’ve treated you, were expressions of my love for you. I don’t care if our parents were married. They could still be married and I wouldn’t give a damn because all that matters is us. Just the two of us. There’s so much I want to show you, places I want to take you, to have you with me at all times. I don’t want us to take a break.”

  A pregnant silence filled the air after my confession. I hadn’t thought much about what her reaction would be when I told her, but the silence wasn’t something that had crossed my mind. I longed to know what was going on in her head. Why wasn’t she saying anything, and why did she look so pale? Had I gotten it wrong? Didn’t she love me back?

  The startling discovery that she didn’t love me back prompted me to my feet and I backed away from her.

  “I see,” I muttered. “I was probably the fool, after all, in thinking you felt the same.”

  “Lucas, wait!”

  I was turning the doorknob when she called out to me. I turned back to her in expectation.

  “Please be patient with me,” she said instead of the words of love I wanted to hear. “Just give me some time. I really do have a lot going on right now, some of which I haven’t explained to you. Please try to understand.”

  I nodded to her and slipped out of her room, walking blindly along the corridor and back to my own dorm. She hadn’t given me a committal response to my words of love. She hadn’t denied it as much as she hadn’t said it. Which was it? It didn’t matter.

  Even if she loved me, it hurt just as badly that she hadn’t been able to admit it.

  Debra

  “Debra, are you okay?”

  No, I wasn’t. Not really. I’d driven the four hours from Denver to Pagosa Springs despite promising Lucas I would take a flight. The driving was therapeutic and I liked being on the road with nothing and no one but my own thoughts for company. But it had gotten tedious and stopped being fun halfway there, though. I’d been so tired and my back ached. At one point, I had to pull over in a parking lot and take a nap. I hadn’t thought how being almost four months p
regnant would affect me driving such a long distance.

  It might have been the hormones, but as soon as my father met me in the hallway, I started tearing up. I did try to blink it away, but his question only made it worse and for the first time that I could remember since I was ten, my father pulled me into his arms and I cried. I was upset that I cried so easily these days and couldn’t stop.

  “God, Debra, you look exhausted,” he commented putting me away from him. “Let me get your bag. You go right to bed and lie down. You are just about ready to drop.”

  I smiled wanly at him. “Thanks, Dad.”

  I did what he suggested and went straight to bed. I was knocked out as soon as my head touched the pillow.

  When I woke, it was to discover it was a new day. I took a quick shower and went to the kitchen to make myself some breakfast. I felt as though I was starving, my body’s reminder I had slept through dinner the evening before.

  “Good morning, Dad,” I greeted him, entering the kitchen. He was drinking a cup of coffee and had a plate of half-eaten breakfast in front of him while he went through the local paper.

  “Good morning.”

  Sensing the awkward silence that would reign between us, I struck up a conversation with him, asking about work while I whipped up breakfast for myself. When I sat before him with a mountain of pancakes, bacon and eggs, he gave me a weird look.

  “Well, I didn’t have dinner,” I reminded him.

  “Is that all?” he asked.

  I chewed nervously on a piece of pancake. “What do you mean?”

  “You came home crying yesterday, Debra, then slept all afternoon into this morning.”

  “The ride was exhausting.”

  “Are you fighting with that boy Lucas again?” he enquired. “That’s the last time I saw you looking this glum.”

  I didn’t respond but continued eating my breakfast in silence. He returned to his newspaper and I cleaned my plate. If I continued eating like this, I would end up being a pig by the time I delivered this baby.