by S. J. West
“I figure our father will let me know what he wants me to do next. No sense in worrying about something if he’s already planned it out.”
I can’t argue with Desmond’s logic. My life had pretty much been planned since the moment my soul was brought into this world. I still had a hard time wrapping my mind around such an idea. Yet, I knew God was telling me the truth when he said I was one of the first souls ever created. I just wish I could remember my time in Heaven.
After Will brought me back to life, he told me we had been playmates there. It was a time in my existence that I wanted to remember. Perhaps there was a reason I wasn’t supposed to though. Malcolm did tell me that the living never felt comfortable in Heaven because it was a place they weren’t meant to be. I knew I would have to go there one day to return the seals, and in the back of my mind, I wondered if I would be given the opportunity to finally meet my mother.
I let the idea slip away for now. If it was meant for me to meet her one day, I would. I simply had to be patient and wait to see what fate had in store for me.
While Desmond is scrambling my eggs, a frantic sounding set of knocks can be heard coming from the front door upstairs.
“I’ll go up and see who it is,” Jered offers, standing from his seat and heading up the staircase.
Desmond places the eggs on a plate and sets it in front of me. I hear the overwrought voice of a young boy come from the floor above us and see Desmond’s face scrunch up with a worried frown.
Quick footsteps pound down the stairwell and the young man I heard suddenly appears in Desmond’s kitchen. He doesn’t look any older than ten years old. His cheeks are red not only from the cold outside but from some exertion considering how labored his breathing is. A few wisps of brown hair peek out from underneath his black knit cap. His clothes look far too big for his emaciated frame indicating they were probably hand-me-downs from an older sibling.
“Is something wrong with the baby, Brady?” Desmond asks, walking over to the boy.
“Yes, Dr. Connelly. My ma sent me to come get ya and bring ya back with me.”
“Ok, give me a minute to dress and grab my bag,” Desmond turns to me. “I’m sorry, Anna. I have to go.”
I stand from my chair. “Can we help? Is there anything we can do?”
“I’m not sure there’s anything any of us can do,” Desmond says without completely explaining what he means. I get the feeling it’s because he doesn’t want to say more with Brady standing in the room.
“Let us come with you,” Jered says. “It might be good for Anna to see how things are here.”
Desmond looks worried by this suggestion. “Do you really think it’s a good idea?”
Jered nods. “I think she should see for herself what she’s fighting to change. Don’t you? Plus, we have time. Our meeting with Levi isn’t for another 24 hours.”
“Hurry up, Dr. Connelly!” Brady says urgently, tugging on one of Desmond’s sleeves.
Desmond points a finger at me. “Eat your eggs, lass. We don’t waste food down here, and it’ll make me worry about you less if I know you’ve eaten.”
“I will,” I promise him, sitting back down to finish my breakfast.
Desmond hurries back upstairs, and Brady follows close behind him like he’s afraid Desmond might need more prodding to move faster.
“Dr. Connelly?” I ask Jered as he comes back to sit with me while I finish eating. “I didn’t know he was a doctor.”
“We’ve all lived so long we can almost be any profession we want to be,” Jered tells me. “And don’t call him Desmond in front of other people. His name is Devin Connelly down here to help hide his identity. He’s done his best to aid the people in Dublin, but there are so many of them in need he simply can’t help them all. Princess Kyna sends down supplies when she can sneak them out of Stratus, but ever since Lorcan became emperor, it’s been harder for her to smuggle them to Desmond.”
“I don't think I'll ever forget the first time I saw Lorcan,” I tell Jered, losing my appetite at the memory. “I was eight, and he was ten at the time. Auggie was having a birthday celebration and his mother invited all the children of the royal families to attend. I think Desmond was being too kind when he said Lorcan was off his rocker. He’s completely insane if you ask me, talk about a sociopath. I don’t have any problem believing he killed his parents. Not after what I saw him do.”
“What did you see, Anna? He didn’t hurt you did he?” Jered asks, sounding concerned about the eight year old me and what she experienced.
“No, he didn’t hurt me,” I say, wanting to alleviate Jered’s worry. “I went to the rooms he and Kyna were sharing at the palace. It was one of the few times I was allowed to speak to someone new so I jumped at the chance. The door to their suite was ajar and I heard…”
The memory of what I saw that day still haunts me. I had to put my fork down only having eaten half of my eggs. I faintly hope Desmond doesn’t get too upset that I can’t bring myself to finish my meal.
“I remember peeking through the crack into their room because I heard Kyna crying,” I tell Jered. “I saw her on her knees begging Lorcan not to do something. She was crying so hard she could barely breathe. I followed her gaze and saw Lorcan. He was squeezing a puppy by the neck and holding it down on a table in the room. The dog was whining pitifully and trying to squirm away from him, but he wouldn’t let it go. Lorcan had a knife in his other hand and told Kyna that she shouldn’t have brought her pet to Cirrus because we didn’t allow real animals inside our city. Kyna promised Lorcan she would return home with her puppy immediately. That way Lorcan could get all of the attention at Auggie’s party. I thought Lorcan was going to accept her offer. I think Kyna did too because her tears stopped and she stood to her feet. Just as she reached Lorcan to take the puppy away from him, he raised the knife over his head and brought it down with such force it stabbed the puppy in the gut up to the knife's hilt. It howled out in pain and Kyna screamed out in misery. Lorcan didn’t even have the decency to kill the poor thing. He completely let it go and backed away from the table. The puppy was whining in agony and trying to get away but the knife was halfway stuck in the dog and halfway in the table. I remember just standing there in shock watching Kyna try to get the knife out of that poor dog. When I looked away from Kyna, I found Lorcan staring straight at me with this horrible grin on his face, like he wanted to do to me what he had just done to the puppy. It was almost like he found pleasure in having an audience for his sadism. I ran away as fast as I could. I went straight to Auggie’s room and told him everything I saw. He doubled the guards around me for the remainder of the Halloran’s stay in Cirrus. I don’t think I got a wink of sleep until they were gone. Every time I tried to close my eyes, all I could see was Lorcan staring at me.”
“I’m so sorry you had to go through that experience,” Jered says.
“Papa wanted to go whip Lorcan after I told him,” I say, remembering the only good memory about that time. “I wish he had. Lorcan deserved it and so much more.”
“I’ve heard he’s addicted to customized drugs now,” Jered tells me. “I think one of them prevents you from sleeping.”
“So he’s crazier than ever, I guess.”
“Well, he’s definitely not any more stable.”
“We’re ready!” We hear Desmond yell down the stairs.
Jered and I stand from the table and make our way up to the second floor.
I wonder what it is Jered hopes I will learn from this little visit through Stratus territory. To tell the truth, I think I already know what I’ll end up witnessing. I just hope my heart can take what it sees.
Chapter 5
Desmond and Brady walk out the front door, but Jered holds me back before I have a chance to step outside.
“I think you should use another one of your outfit’s abilities,” he whispers to me, watching Desmond and Brady descend the stairs to the sidewalk while we hang back a little.
“What are you
talking about?” I ask.
“If you wish it, you can become invisible while you’re wearing your jacket,” Jered tells me. “People down here don’t need to see the Empress of Cirrus walking around their town. It’ll be reported instantly.”
Jered had a point. If Desmond was going to keep his life concealed from Levi, my presence in the city needed to be kept hidden as well.
“I just wish to be invisible and it happens?” I ask.
Jered nods.
“And if I want to be visible again I just wish for that too?”
“Yes.”
“Sounds simple enough,” I say.
I silently wish to become invisible and don’t really see anything happen.
“Did it work? I can still see myself.”
“Yes,” Jered says with a smile, “it worked. No one can see you besides yourself. Come on. Let’s catch up to them.”
Just as Jered predicted, the fog isn’t as thick now as it was when we first arrived. Jered and I walk a good distance behind Desmond and Brady down the nearly silent city streets. It’s still early in the morning and the day hasn’t yet started for most of the citizens of Dublin. As we walk, I can’t help but notice the stench of decay that permeates the air. After we turn a corner along the sidewalk, I soon learn where the smell is coming from.
A shanty town made of ramshackle buildings put together by what looks like scraps of wood and whatever other items could be easily scavenged comprises a section of Dublin which stretches for as far as my eyes can see. The smell of human waste and death hangs in the air giving it an almost physical presence. I’m thankful I didn’t eat all of my breakfast earlier because I know it would have made a sudden reappearance considering how nauseous I feel now.
“Why are people living this way?” I ask Jered in a quiet voice as we walk among the decrepit dwellings.
“It’s all they have,” Jered replies. “Some don’t even have this much here.”
“But why would the Hallorans treat their people with such indifference? Wouldn't their citizens be more productive workers if they were properly fed and housed?”
“The Hallorans have never cared how they get their supplies from the down-world. All they care about is getting the things they want in a timely manner. They don’t worry about how the people who make their lives easier survive.”
“Does every cloud city treat their down-worlders with such apathy?”
“Nacreous is probably the kindest to the people living under their control. The others aren’t as bad as Stratus but not as good as Nacreous either. They all fall somewhere in between in their disinterest for the down-world. Sometimes people don’t think about others when they’re not a part of their everyday lives. It’s easy to forget about the down-world especially when it’s hidden from view.”
“I will never forget,” I promise Jered.
Even though he can’t see me he smiles at my words.
“I know you won’t, Anna. You were built to have a long memory and empathy towards those who are less fortunate. You’ve been placed in a position of power that will help you use both of those attributes to help you change the shattered world we live in. And I will do everything I can to help you make it a better place not only for your children but for the generations that will come after we’re all gone.”
Desmond stops in front of a small dwelling that looks slightly larger than the others around it. It still looks as if it’s only being held together by the grace of God, but the structure is sturdy enough to withstand the cold wind blowing in from the ocean.
Brady opens the door which is made out of scraps of wood, old rusty metal sheeting and interwoven cloth to prevent drafts from squeezing in through the gaps. Even though Jered can’t see me, he holds the door open long enough for me to sneak inside.
A rather plain looking woman stands within the dwelling walking around with a baby cradled in the crook of an arm, wrapped in a once white blanket. I hear no cries from the child and wonder if that’s a good sign or a bad one. Instinct tells me it’s a very bad thing.
When the woman sees Desmond, I see her shoulders sag in relief. I know then she expects him to work some sort of miracle for the child she holds in her arms, but I fear she may have to face the reality of her situation sooner than she realizes.
“Thank God you’re here,” the woman says, a desperate sort of hope in her voice. “She's hardly breathing. I don’t know what to do for her, Devin.”
I watch as Desmond sits the black leather bag he brought with him on the dusty wooden floor of the shack. By this simple action, my suspicions are confirmed, and I know there is nothing he can do for the babe in the woman's arms.
Desmond walks over to the woman and holds his arms out to take the child from her.
Eagerly, she hands the little girl to him, but I can tell from the look on the mother's face when she looks at Desmond's expression that she knows there will be no reprieve for her little one. A shadow of despair shrouds her features as she’s forced to face the truth.
“I’m sorry, Mary,” Desmond says. “She was just born too soon. Her lungs aren’t mature enough to sustain her.”
“How long?” Mary asks, taking in a deep, shuddering breath. “How long does she have?”
“A few more hours at best,” Desmond tells her. “I wish there was more I could do, but she’ll be drifting off to rest in God’s arms soon. All you can do now is hold her until she passes and let her know she was loved in her short life. I'm sorry I can't do more.”
“I don’t blame you,” Mary says, taking the newborn from Desmond and holding the child to her chest. “I blame those people living above us like we don’t exist, like we don’t matter to them at all!”
Desmond sighs and looks around the small one room home. There are four palettes on the floor on the opposite end of the shack.
“Where are your husband and older son? They should be here with you.”
“They’re out trying to meet their quota of crabs for those bastards up in Stratus to eat at some party,” Mary says, venom in her voice. “I swear to God if I could get that slimy Lorcan Halloran down here I would kill him with my bare hands. None of the royals deserve to live if you ask me!”
“They’re not all bad, Mary,” Desmond says, trying to sooth the woman’s ire. “Some of them want to change how things are.”
“Well, they’re doing a piss poor job of showing it!” Mary says, tears of frustration and sorrow streaming down her face openly now. “While we and our children are just trying to survive, they’re up there livin’ high in the clouds without a care in the world. I’m sick of it, Devin! I don’t know how much more I can take! I wish I had one of them here in my home to show them what their greed has done.” Mary looks down at her dying child. “I wish I could make them watch the pain their selfishness has caused us all.”
I tug on Jered’s arm, silently telling him I want to go. I can’t watch Mary’s pain any longer, and I pray Jered understands my silent request.
“I should be leaving now, Devin,” Jered tells Desmond. “I’m so sorry for your imminent loss, ma’am.”
Mary doesn’t seem to hear Jered’s words. She's completely lost in her own grief.
“I’m going to stay here with her until the end,” Desmond tells us. “Thank you for coming with me.”
“See you tomorrow,” Jered tells Desmond as a subtle reminder about our rendezvous with Levi.
Desmond nods and turns his attention back to Mary and her dying child.
Jered goes to the door and opens it. He gives me enough time to exit before closing it.
“I need some fresh air,” I whisper to him.
Jered walks us through the shanty town until we come to a paved path. The path leads us down a slight slope to a small patch of sandy beach along the coast. The beach is capped on either end by a rocky shoreline. The brisk breeze coming off the ocean acts as a cleansing balm to my lungs.
I silently wish to be made visible again.
“Jered,”
I say, looking over at him as he stand beside me, staring out at the ocean. “Even if we help these people, do you think they will still hate us?”
Jered continues to look out towards the ocean.
“I think it will take a few generations for the distrust to fade,” he tells me. “Things have been this way for a very long time, Anna. They won’t simply forget, and they certainly won’t forgive easily. I think there will be some resistance and wariness in the beginning. But,” Jered says, tearing his gaze away from the gently lapping waves in front of us to look at me, “I believe all they need is someone they can put their faith into, and I believe that someone is you.”
“They have no reason to trust me. They have no reason to believe a word I say even if it is to help repair the damage that’s been done to their lives.”
“Then you have to give them a reason, Anna. You’re a natural leader. People will want to follow you.”
“I don’t want them to follow me,” I say. “I want them to think for themselves.”
“And they will, in time,” Jered assures me. “But, right now they need a guiding light to bring them out of the darkness. They need a beacon of hope to tell them their lives are worth something. They’ve lived under the thumb of the hierarchy living in the cloud cities for generations. All they know is what they’re told. The people here aren’t stupid. They’re just worn down by their lives and need someone to show them they’re worth more than what they’ve been told. In the end, that’s all people really want. They want to know they matter. They want to know they’re appreciated for their efforts.”
I look out at the ocean and realize my problems are as infinite as it appears. No end set on the horizon, only a lengthy list of things which need to be fixed.
“It’s going to take a long time to make things right, isn’t it?” I say, fully realizing the magnitude of the task at hand. My work won’t end with the reformation of Cirrus. It stretches far beyond that.
“You won’t have to do it alone,” Jered assures me. “We’ll be with you all the way.”
I nod, knowing I will be able to depend on my guardians to help me mend the world. I'm just not sure we'll be enough to handle everything that needs to be done.