by S. J. West
“I know. It’s just that Levi always seems to find a way to ruin things. It’s getting really old and tiresome.”
“He’ll get what he deserves in the end,” Malcolm assures me.
“He looked like he was already suffering,” I say, remembering how Levi looked in Auggie’s decaying corpse.
“Good,” Malcolm says without an ounce of compassion for the prince of Hell. “Lucifer actually did us a favor for once.”
“Why do you think he was so adamant that I stay here in the down-world?”
Malcolm shrugs. “Who knows? The only thing I can tell you is that the reason benefits him in some way. Lucifer never does anything unless it helps his latest agenda. As soon as we figure that out, we’ll understand why he wants you to stay down here.”
“It’s just that…” I falter because I’m not sure how to explain what I feel.
“What is it that you’re thinking?” Malcolm asks gently, obviously seeing that I’m having trouble voicing my thoughts.
“I get the feeling he’s trying to protect me from something,” I say.
“Lucifer’s only ever been worried about protecting himself and his own interest,” Malcolm says in disgust. “If you try to get in the way of those things, he’ll cut you down as quickly as he can.”
“But he wasn’t like that with my mother, right?”
I can see the reluctance on Malcolm’s face as he admits, “No. He was different with Amalie.”
“Then maybe he’s being different with me too, Malcolm. I think we should give him the benefit of the doubt for now until we learn something that makes us think otherwise.”
“Give Lucifer the benefit of the doubt?” Malcolm asks like this is a concept beyond his comprehension. “Only for you would I even attempt such a feat.”
“Come on,” I say, gently pulling on his hand. “Let’s go tell the others what happened.”
We find Millie, Lucas, Vala, and Luna down in the kitchen. I tell Millie about the dress, but she doesn’t seem too bothered by it.
“I can make you a new one in a jiffy,” she tells me. “Don’t you worry about a thing, my sweet.”
“Yeah,” Lucas say, as he sits at the table eating a cookie, “now all we need is for someone to pop the question.”
“Hmm, yes, someone should do that one day,” Malcolm agrees, winking at Lucas which makes our son giggle.
“Mommy,” Lucas says in his little high pitched voice, making my heart swell with even more love for him, “do you think you could show me how to use a sword now?”
“Absolutely,” I answer.
Malcolm surprises me by having a holo-room like the one I had in Cirrus where my father and I used to spar almost every day. I spend some time showing Lucas how to stand and hold a sword. I even show him a few basic maneuvers, but it doesn't seem to be enough for our little boy.
“Could you show me a real sword fight?” Lucas asks us. “Maybe I could learn something from watching.”
I look over at Malcolm. “Up for a little work out?”
Malcolm smiles. “I'm pretty good with a sword you know.”
“I hope so because I'm excellent with one.”
Malcolm walks up onto the holo-pad while Lucas hops down to sit with Luna and Vala off to the side.
“Sword,” Malcolm says, initiating the construction of a very large broadsword in his right hand.
“Really?” I ask derisively, looking at the gargantuan blade he's holding. “You know it's not the size of the sword that matters. It's how you use it.”
Malcolm's smile grows broader.
“Oh never fear, I can use my sword very well. Enough to satisfy your needs anyway,” Malcolm teases in a way that makes me think he isn't actually talking about the sword in his hand.
“I guess we'll see,” I say, catching him off guard by swinging my blade at him and making him defend himself.
I can tell by the way Malcolm starts off that he's afraid he will inadvertently hurt me in some way. Since the swords aren't real, I know he isn't worried about hurting me with his so it has to be that he's worried about using his full physical strength against me. This knowledge just makes me push him even harder until I have him cornered against a wall of the room with my sword pointed at this throat.
“Don't hold back,” I tell him, breathing a little hard from the exertion. “Show me what you've got.”
“I don't want to hurt you,” he tells me.
“You won't,” I assure him. “I'm not that breakable.”
We begin again and this time Malcolm doesn't hold back. It's exhilarating to fight someone who can almost match me in strength. The only other person who even came close was Amon and that fight didn't last very long before I had to kill him. But Malcolm isn't just good at swinging his blade. He's good at anticipating my next move which makes me think this fight is a little like playing chess for him. He isn't just using brute force to fight me. He's also using his deductive skills to stay one step ahead of me. Finally, I call a truce because it's obvious neither one of us will win this fight. We're too evenly matched.
“Wow,” Lucas says to us, his eyes wide in wonder. “Do you think I'll be able to fight that good one day?”
“With a little practice,” I tell him, breathing hard from the exertion, “I think you'll be better.”
Lucas smiles so happily it makes us all smile.
“You're really good, Mommy,” he says to me with pride.
I shrug. “It's my favorite thing to do,” I admit. “My papa and I would practice against each other all the time.”
“It must have been hard to hold back so much of your strength with Andre,” Malcolm comments, and I notice he's also breathing hard from the work out.
“I got used to it,” I tell him. “But, it is nice to be able to just let loose and not have to worry about hurting my opponent.”
Malcolm loops an arm around my waist and roughly brings me up against him.
“I don't want you to ever hold anything back from me, Anna,” he murmurs, “in anything we do together.”
From the smoldering look in Malcolm's eyes, I know he isn't talking about swordplay.
“I don't want you to either,” I tell him, hoping he understands that when we finally do make love, I don't want him to worry about hurting me. “I can take it.”
Malcolm smiles and lets me go. We are in the presence of our son after all. Our flirting can only go so far with innocent eyes watching our every move.
“Could we go to your workshop, Dad?” Lucas asks, standing to his feet with Luna cradled in his arms.
“You have a workshop here?” I ask Malcolm.
“I have one in every home,” Malcolm says. “Swords disengage.”
After our swords dematerialize, Malcolm takes one of my hands into his, and we walk out of the room to his workshop.
This begins a ritual of sorts for the next few days. After the boys bring me breakfast in bed, we work out with a little sword play then go to Malcolm's workshop and work on the family project, a new birdhouse for Lucas. Though, this time we don't build a replica of Malcolm's Lakewood home. This house is just as beautiful but it’s one I haven’t seen before. Malcolm simply tells me it’s a home he designed but doesn't say where it is. After working on the birdhouse, we go down to prepare lunch and Malcolm takes the opportunity to show me how to cook a different dish every day. After lunch, we retire to his study where he reads to us from a book until supper time. After we eat supper, the boys would either play a game of checkers with each other, or Lucas would watch his father beat me in a game of chess.
“I don't think I'll ever get the hang of this game,” I confess to Malcolm.
“Good,” he says. “That means I'll always win.”
I laugh not because of what he said but because I know he's already won the most important prize of all, my heart.
After we tucked Lucas into bed, Malcolm would always walk me to the door of my bedroom and kiss me goodnight. I did remember to let Vala into my room
first, however, so we didn't have to subject her to watching our making out sessions against my door. Malcolm remained ever watchful of where his hands were located on my body during these moments.
On this night, however, he let them slip underneath my shirt and to the small of my back. I feel him yank his hands away when they brush against the seal I retrieved from Amon.
As his head lifts from mine, I see a worried look on his face.
“Does the seal cause you any pain?” He asks me.
I shake my head. “No. I forget it's even there most of the time.”
“I guess I did too,” Malcolm admits, leaning down to drink in my lips one more time before fully pulling away from me. “I've been meaning to tell you that we'll be having guests tomorrow night.”
“Guests?” I ask. We hadn't seen anyone other than Millie and Giles in almost seven days.
“Jered, Brutus, Desmond, Daniel and Linn are coming for supper. I told them you would be cooking for us.”
“You did what?” I exclaim.
“You can do it,” Malcolm says, his voice full of a confidence I don’t feel. “I have faith in you. They didn't believe me when I said I taught you how to cook. I want to prove to them that you've broken the chain of horrible cooks in your family.”
“But what if I can't? Are you going to help me?”
“No. You need to do this on your own. Like I said, I have faith that you can do it.”
“I'm glad someone does,” I say, feeling a nervous knot form in the pit of my belly. “I'm not so sure I do.”
Malcolm puts his hands on my shoulders. “You can do it. I know you can.”
I sigh in resignation of my fate and lean up to give Malcolm one last kiss goodnight.
“Sweet dreams,” he says against my lips before walking away.
I watch him walk down the hall away from me, like I've watched him walk away for the past few nights. My eyes are completely drawn to one perfect part of his anatomy underneath his pants, and I am helpless to divert my attention away from it until he's out of sight. The only thing that makes me not feel completely forlorn from his absence is the fact that I know something special is waiting for me on my bed.
Every night, Malcolm has left a note folded on the pillow next to mine. It would always be in the shape of an object or an animal. This night it’s in the shape of a heart. After I change into my nightgown and climb into bed, I reach for the note and open it.
To My Love,
My life feels like it should belong to someone else because I never imagined it could be filled with so much joy and happiness. You have shown me through your love that I'm worthy enough to take the next step in our lives. I may not deserve you or deserve to be so blissfully happy, but I'm not fool enough to let this opportunity pass me by either. I want to give myself to you completely, and I hope you will accept what I have to offer.
Sweet dreams, my Anna.
I love you,
Malcolm
After I let Vala read the letter, I ask her, “Do you think this means he's finally ready to propose?”
“I certainly hope so,” Vala says sounding as exasperated as I've been feeling the past few days, waiting for Malcolm to 'pop the question' as Lucas put it. “You've been waiting for him to do it all week!”
“I know,” I groan. “I thought he would have asked by now.”
I hold the note close to my heart as I lay my head down on my pillow.
“I'm sure he'll do it tomorrow,” I say to Vala as I close my eyes. “I know he will.”
Chapter 20
I wake up the next morning well before Lucas knocks on my door, but I stay in bed because I don’t want to ruin anything in case Malcolm decides he wants to propose to me first thing that morning.
“Do you think he’ll hide the ring inside the pancakes?” Vala asks, her little tail wagging with excitement for me. “I saw someone do that in a movie once.”
“Why would he do that?” I ask in puzzlement. “I might choke on it!”
“Well, maybe he won’t try to be cute about his proposal. He is old after all. He might just go with something simple.”
I giggle. “He isn’t that old,” I protest. “Plus, I don’t think Malcolm does simple.”
A soft knock comes from the other side of my bedroom door.
I quickly pull the covers up to my chin and lay back down in bed.
“Come in,” I call out, doing my best to sound groggy, like I just woke up from a deep sleep.
Lucas opens the door, and Luna runs in and jumps up on the bed. She has learned to abandon her efforts to greet Vala by sniffing her backside. All Vala had to do was snap at her a couple of times to make the excited pup rethink her natural instincts. Luna comes up to me and gives me a good lick on the face. Then she curls herself up on the empty pillow beside mine and watches me with her bright aquamarine eyes.
Lucas holds the door open for Malcolm as he walks in with my breakfast and props the usual tray over my legs. He leans down and greets me with a kiss just like he has the last few days.
“Good morning, my love,” he says with a smile. “I hope you got a good night’s sleep. You’re going to need it for today.”
“I am?” I ask as I pick up my fork and knife, feeling flush with excitement because I know in my heart Malcolm will propose to me that day, possibly any minute.
“Tonight’s the night you show everyone how well you can cook. Remember?”
“Oh,” I say. It wasn’t exactly the answer I was hoping for but it was certainly true.
With Vala’s words still fresh in my mind, I gingerly begin to cut up my heart shaped pancakes into tiny squares, secretly searching for a ring hidden somewhere inside their fluffy goodness.
“Is there something wrong with the pancakes?” Malcolm asks me, watching my odd behavior with open curiosity.
“Uh, no,” I say, not finding anything resembling a ring lurking within my breakfast. “Just thought I would cut it all up first,” I say, stabbing a section of my pancakes in slight frustration and eating my meal.
It becomes obvious Malcolm has no intention of proposing while I eat my breakfast. So, I wolf down the pancakes as quickly as I can. I don’t want to cause a delay in any plans he might have which involve a ring and a certain, life altering question.
While we’re in the holo-room with Lucas that morning, I keep expecting Malcolm to fall on one knee at any second during our practice to proclaim his undying love and ask for my hand in marriage… but he doesn’t. When we go to his workshop to finish the birdhouse we’ve all been working on together, I discreetly search through it to see if he’s hidden a ring somewhere on it or in it… but don’t find one. At lunch time, I begin to wonder if maybe Malcolm’s letter from the night before wasn’t talking about an imminent proposal at all. Perhaps he was referring to something else?
As we walk into his study for reading time, Malcolm asks me, “Could you grab the book we were reading from yesterday? It’s over there on that second shelf.”
Malcolm points to the bookshelf on the far wall while he goes over to the fireplace to stoke the dying embers and add a couple of more logs to bring the flames up to keep the room warm while we’re in here.
It seems like an odd request which immediately makes me giddily suspicious.
I walk over to the bookshelf and easily find the book we were reading, Taming of the Shrew by William Shakespeare. I cautiously pull on its binding to separate it from the other books on the shelf just in case a ring comes tumbling out from some secret spot. But, no ring appears and all I have in my hands is the book. I look at the book and open it to the place we stopped reading yesterday, wondering if Malcolm has hidden the ring between the pages…but I find nothing but words on paper. With a sigh of disappointment, I go over and sit down on the leather sofa. Malcolm soon joins me and gently takes the book from my hands.
“Are you all right?” He asks me with concern. “You’ve been a little off today. Are you worried about cooking for everyone later?
”
“Well, I wasn’t until you just mentioned it,” I confess, feeling a knot of anxiety form in the pit of my stomach with the reminder.
I’d been so preoccupied with wondering when Malcolm would propose, I completely forgot about the supper that evening.
“What time are they supposed to be here?” I ask.
“They’ll all be here by seven. So, you will probably need to get started at around five.”
“And what am I supposed to cook exactly?”
“You already know how to cook a soup, baked chicken, a salad, and fresh bread. I’ll handle desert so don’t worry about that.”
“Will you be in the kitchen with me while I cook?” I ask hopefully.
Malcolm shakes his head. “No, I have faith you can do this all on your own.”
“Oh,” I say in disappointment. “Do you have a backup plan prepared in case the meal I make is inedible?”
Malcolm chuckles. “I’m sure it will be delicious. You should have more faith in your culinary skills.”
I sigh and snuggle up to Malcolm’s side as he begins to read to me.
Unfortunately, no proposal comes during our reading time either…
Once five o’clock rolls around, I’ve pretty much given up on Malcolm proposing to me until the next day. There simply wouldn’t be enough time to do it if we were planning to entertain the others that evening.
While I’m down in the kitchen, dicing up the potatoes, Vala asks, “Are you all right, Anna?”
I shrug and try to hold back my tears of disappointment. “I just don’t know what he’s waiting on, Vala. Maybe he’s changed his mind about marrying me.”
“Oh good grief,” Vala says in exasperation. “Get that thought out of your head right this instant. Of course he wants to marry you! He loves you. Any fool can see that plain as day. Do you want me to go bite him on the ankle for you? Maybe that will give him the incentive he needs to get down on one knee.”
I smile at Vala’s offer and seriously consider it, but say, “No. I would rather he did it of his own free will instead of being coerced into it.”
“How are things going, my sweet?” I hear Millie ask as she walks into the kitchen.