Myth-Fortunes m-19

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Myth-Fortunes m-19 Page 10

by Robert Asprin


  "Bennie, this is the chance of a lifetime," Aahz said, in his most persuasive tone. "Look over there at the finished one."

  "But you're asking me to invest in something on which you haven't even broken ground. I like to see what's on the table before I write a check, Aahz. I don't like the idea of buying a siskin in a satchel."

  "What's a . . . ?" I began. Aahz gave me a quick gesture to forestall the question.

  "Is that one over there for sale?" Bendix asked.

  "That's a rival operation," Aahz said, dismissively. "Not connected to this project."

  Bendix was not so easily deterred. "Well, how do I buy a piece of that? Maybe you can introduce me."

  "You couldn't afford it. It was privately funded. One owner."

  "That guy has the right idea," Bendix said. "He the king or something?"

  "Something like that," Aahz said, changing the subject immediately. "But he had to fork out the entire price of his pyramid. Your wife would never put up with that."

  "You got that right! You should have heard her when I wanted a new crystal ball for the office."

  "Well, this is just a small piece of the whole thing, and you get the benefit of everyone else's investment. All you need to finance is a millionth of the total. You can have bragging rights that you were in on this one from the start."

  Bendix stroked his chin. "That's appealing. But how much are we talking for a nice spot near the top? Say, the third level?"

  "Only fifty thousand gold pieces."

  "What?"

  I covered my ears to shut out the bellow.

  Deals between Pervects were nowhere near as loud or shrill as those in the Bazaar, but they escalated a lot faster to imprecations and counter-accusations. I had more respect than ever for Aahz's vocabulary by the time he and Bendix paused for breath.

  The Pervish attorney gasped in air in outrage.

  "You've got to be out of your mind. You say you invested in this . . . this non-hole in the ground? I used to have some respect for your brain, buddy. The sun must have baked it out of you."

  "I'm not nuts!" Aahz insisted. "It's a great deal! You'll never find one like it."

  "No, not unless I want to help some scam artist move his late uncle's nonexistent millions out of the dimension! Fifty thousand! When I think what I went through over a crystal ball—you know Deplora. She'd tear my claws out. That's it. Forget it."

  Bendix pulled a small device out of his pocket. With his eye on the small flat screen, he started moving it around. When it was in line with the wavy blue line in the sky, he reached for the red button below the screen. He was leaving. It looked like no sale. I gave Aahz a look of deepest sympathy.

  Aahz's yellow eyes seemed to smolder into a blaze. He drew himself up as if calling on internal strength. Then he reached out and put out a hand to forestall Bendix. As if prying the words out of his mouth with a crowbar, he managed to eke out a single sentence.

  "We . . . might be able to work out a . . . discount."

  I was so taken aback at the concept that it took me a moment to remember to breathe. Aahz? Negotiating a discount? On a multi-thousand coin deal? For someone else? When it took all of us to remind him not to stiff waiters?

  Bendix was similarly impressed. His eyebrow ridge shifted upward. He whistled. "You must really want this bad, Aahz. What's the catch? Pervects don't give something for nothing."

  Aahz waved a hand. "It's not for nothing. Your partners are gonna be envious about your new asset. You can share the wealth with them—and I'll make sure you get a discount off your own stone in return."

  "How much are we talking?"

  Aahz countered the question with a question. "How many senior partners in the firm?"

  Bendix turned up a palm. "Ten. But my name's first on the letterhead. What consideration are you willing to offer me, as most senior partner—and an old friend?"

  "Five percent," Aahz said promptly, even though the words sounded as if they hurt as much as major surgery. "Each. If they each buy a stone of equivalent value, yours is half price. Find twenty prospects, and it's free."

  Bendix eyed him. "Sounds too good to be true."

  "It's the deal I'm getting from the developer. I'm getting such a great bargain I'm passing the savings on to you. I still get a piece of the action, but I'm more interested in sharing an opportunity. Like I said, it's once in a lifetime."

  "That's not what the sales brochure says. There are going to be twenty of these pyramids here in two hundred years."

  Aahz draped an arm over his shoulders and drew a panorama with the other palm. "Yeah, but this is gonna be the showpiece. The tallest. The most well-equipped. You get to choose the parts of your life story you want carved on the sides. Think of it, pal: your most successful cases engraved the way you want them remembered. Never mind the Pervish Law Review that'll get backed up in some hard drive somewhere. This'll be out where anyone can read it, forever. And how about your other exploits, huh? When we were young? How many babes in that cabana fell for you over that weekend? Wouldn't that look good in a stone frieze?" He nudged Bendix familiarly in the ribs. "It'll all be written in hieroglyphs—you don't have to tell Deplora what they mean."

  Bendix was starting to get that same dreamy look that Aahz had had when Samwise talked him into buying. He snapped out of it momentarily, and the brow ridge went down again. He glowered.

  "I'll bet every tooth in my head that you're not giving me the same discount you're getting."

  "I'm full-time on site," Aahz snarled. "You want to set up shop here, too? I thought you had a full caseload."

  "No, no . . . but you'll have to give me your word you won't let any of my partners have the same deal as you gave me. I want it to be exclusive, or there's no deal."

  Aahz raised his hands. "What arrangements you make with your partners is up to you. I don't care if you charge them double. I don't care if they pay you in marshmallow bunnies as long as Samwise gets paid in gold. I'll even give you the contracts to sign them up yourself, so they never have to deal with me at all. Now, let's talk about location. ..."

  By the time Bendix bamfed out of Ghordon, Aahz was strutting with pride. The Bendix Frimmis Wisten Katz and

  Associates wing would almost fill the level third from the top. In keeping with Bendix's status, he took a corner tomb with a stunning view of the western mountains. "Things are looking up, partner," Aahz said.

  Chapter 12

  "I didn't know my own strength."

  —Samson

  But when our waiting Camel brought us back to Phase One, instead of looking up, we found that things had actually gone down.

  We pushed through a frantic crowd of workers clustered around the northeast corner of the pyramid. Everyone was shouting. I looked where they were pointing.

  To my horror, the house-sized corner stone had tilted downward. Part of its outer corner was buried in the sand and sinking fast. The whole structure looked threatened. The slabs above the tilted one were at risk of slipping or cracking. Ghord workers in loincloths had thrown themselves against the massive block. Others had dashed to their shrines to invoke the assistance of their ancestors.

  Countless Scarabs dug away at the foundation to get at the lower edge. A rooster-tail of sand flew under their feet. As soon as it was visible, they swarmed under it, dragging ropes and harnesses.

  "Heave!" the beetles shrilled in their tiny voices. "Heave!"

  The block stopped tipping. I held my breath as the mass of workers surged together, pushing with all their strength.

  More Scarabs swelled the ranks, but they couldn't bring it back to level.

  "No!" Beltasar shrilled, audible over all the others. She hovered in mid-air, pointing her tiny hands to direct her workforce. "Reinforce the corner! Division One, down to the superstructure! Division Two, scaffolding!"

  "Hup one! Hup two!" The beetles formed themselves into wedges, driving the stone upward, a fingernail's breadth at a time.

  "Pray harder!" shouted t
he Ghords. "The Ancients will raise the stone!"

  We found Samwise in the middle of a gaggle of supervisors. The Imp spread out a rolled papyrus. All the section bosses argued with one another over who or what was to blame.

  "What can we do to help?" Aahz asked.

  "Nothing, my friends, nothing," Samwise said, waving us away. "We have this under control."

  "Doesn't look like it to me," Aahz commented.

  "I know it doesn't look like it," Samwise said, "but we are handling the situation correctly. First we confer. Then we act. Now, will you kindly leave us alone? This delay is putting us hours behind!"

  Fortunately, the Scarabs weren't paying attention to the Ghords, Imps, and other two-legged beings. They had enlisted other help. A flying wedge of beetles carried harnesses out to the sands where Camels waited. They threw collars around the Sheep of the Desert and fastened them.

  "All hands on deck," Beltasar shrilled. "Division Three, we need to get elevators underneath it at once, before it all tumbles down on us! Ready? Heave!"

  The Camels swam away from the pyramid, pulling as hard as they could. Slowly, the stone began to lift. Several Scarabs, standing on their front feet, rolled six-pointed metal spikes toward the opening gap with their hind legs. Just as they were about to insert them between the tilted stone and the foundation the big stone dropped. The building jacks went flying.

  I heard a loud twang. The Camels were yanked bodily right out of the quicksands by the weight of the building and dragged along the pier. They came to a halt, lying on their sides, looking dazed. Shaking themselves, they rose on four paddle-like feet.

  "Camels got legs," Aahz said, enlightened.

  A couple of them heard him and exchanged shocked expressions.

  "Now we'll have to kill him," the first Camel said. "Not now," the second one whispered. "Everyone is watching."

  "No, no, no!" Beltasar screeched, zipping around in frustration. "Try again! Everyone back into position."

  The Ghords, Scarabs, and Camels all made their way back to their starting points. The beetles dug down

  Aahz and I hurried over to the hovering supervisor.

  "You're the only one doing anything practical," Aahz said. "What can we do to help?"

  "Nothing!" Beltasar shrilled at once. "Perverts are in the way. We can handle it! Is everyone ready?"

  Aahz's protest of "It's Per-vect!" was drowned out by the voices of thousands of Scarabs. "Ready!"

  The Camels waded back into the sand, and their mysterious legs disappeared beneath the surface. They braced the harnesses on their chests and looked back over their shoulders for the word. The Scarabs rolled the jacks back into place. More beetles forced their way under the now perilously leaning slab

  "Oh, for Phoenix's sake," Aahz said, angrily. "A blind bat could tell they're making it worse!"

  "What should they be doing?" I asked.

  "Bracing the foundation," Aahz said. "They have the right idea, but they're doing it wrong."

  Aahz's assessment was all too accurate, as the heavy stone creaked against its restraints and continued to slip.

  "Pray harder!" the Ghord supervisor shouted at his staff.

  "Are you idiots just going to stand there and let the whole thing come down?" Aahz bellowed at Samwise. "You'll be paying me to consult on nothing if you don't shore up the underpinnings before you relay the slabs."

  "I say we consult on whether the corner slab should be replaced entirely," the chief Ghord scribe said, frowning and stroking his chin. "Clearly it doesn't wish to be there."

  "But that is where the customer paid for it to be," Samwise moaned. "Why does everything have to happen to me? What do you think we should do, Aahz?"

  A loud creak made everyone look up.

  "It's going to go," I said. I ran to Beltasar. "I'll do anything to help," I offered. "I'm a competent magician. I have plenty of experience. I'll follow your instructions to the letter,"

  The huge slabs groaned. I was afraid they would crack at any moment. I could tell that the Scarab was vacillating between breaking the rules and letting the project in which they took so much pride be damaged.

  "Let me help!" I said.

  "Klahds are more useless than Perverts! You will only get in the way."

  Ghord workers wailed as the corner slab above the tilting stone started making grinding noises. I offered desperately, "I'll sign a waiver. You can blame it all on me. You can even fine me if you want for interfering."

  That got her attention. She slewed her big turquoise eyes toward me.

  "All right! Can you lift the edge of the stone up so we can get a jack underneath? "I'll do my best," I said.

  I closed my eyes and concentrated. I pictured the thin yellow line of magik twisting underneath our feet

  and let the force line flow into me until my hands were almost stinging with the power. I pictured my hand under the edge of the stone, lifting it gently.

  It wouldn't move. I opened my eyes. The slab was just where it was. The Ghords who had expected their burden to be lifted off their shoulders looked disappointed. Beltasar was furious. She butted me in the chest.

  "Ow!" I protested.

  "Useless! I told you Klahds are useless!"

  "Give him a chance," Aahz roared. "C'mon, kid, pick it up!"

  I absorbed some more power from the yellow line. I was used to using magik to raise myself and possibly a friend or two, but this stone weighed more alone than the whole staff of M.Y.T.H., Inc., put together and then some. I felt myself sweating. Stone grated on stone. The noise set my teeth on edge.

  "Go away, go away, Klahd!" Beltasar screeched. "You are not helping!"

  I opened my eyes. Aahz was at my shoulder, along with the entire management staff. They were wringing their hands. "What'll I do, Aahz? I can't lift the stone."

  "Don't pull," Aahz advised, calmly. "Push. Picture yourself pushing up from the bedrock under the stone. I'll let you know when you get it level. C'mon, kid. You can do it."

  The yellow force line wasn't strong enough. The next nearest line was the surging black line. I felt nervous about dipping into it. Compared with the thinner ones nearby, it was a raging bull instead of a friendly dog. But I didn't have a choice. I needed power, a lot of power. I reached out to it.

  Wham!

  I often wondered what it felt like to be struck by lightning. Some races reveled in it, like my buddy Gus the Gargoyle, who would linger outside during the most terrifying thunderstorms hoping to be electrified by those blinding strikes of power that would fry a Klahd to a cinder. That's what I imagined as the force from the black line surged in through my fingertips and burned its way along my body. I tried turning off the flow, but it was stronger than I was.

  Power roared into me, overspilling my batteries and filling every inch of my body. I felt as if I had drawn in the entire force line and become part of it. I had never used a more powerful source in all my experience. That explained why even the humblest Ghord used magik readily. It was more plentiful than food or water in this dimension. I hoped that I'd worked with enough force lines in my time to handle it. I directed the flow downward, letting it carry my consciousness with it.

  My senses felt for the bedrock. It wasn't where I expected it, directly underneath the foot of the pyramid. Instead, the gigantic structure stood on a kind of aggregate, like compacted sand, over twenty feet thick. This pad of sand had broken off at the edge, crumbling more every time the stones above it shifted. I had to reach down farther than I dreamed until my mental hand touched something truly solid. The magik told me this was indeed the bedrock. Upon it I built a pillar of magik. I filled it in with more and more power from the force line, as though it was the upward surge of a fountain. It reached the bottom of the tipping stone and pressed against it. I felt it move. Yes! I heard voices around me exclaiming. And cheering. And gasping.

  I felt a hand on my shoulder.

  "Uh, kid, that's too much."

  I opened my eyes and looked at the p
yramid. Or, rather, where the pyramid had lain. There was nothing ahead of me except... a big square shadow.

  I raised my eyes. I gawked.

  The whole pyramid hung about thirty feet in the air.

  "Wha-?" I choked out. "Uh, how . . . ?"

  "Perhaps," Beltasar said, a lot more respectfully than she had sounded before, "you can hold it there for just a little bit."

  "Careful!" Samwise shouted. He ran to my side. "Oh, careful, Skeeve the Magnificent. I had no idea that you lived up to all that hype going around the Bazaar. I thought you were merely paying for the publicity. No one ever told me! You are so much more than I expected, even more than Aahz's reputation. Be careful! Don't let the carvings get scratched!"

  "Don't pester the kid when he's working," Aahz said, dragging him back. He looked disgusted.

  My eyes refused to believe what I had actually accomplished, but there it was. I had to grin. All those years of straining to pick up tiny objects, all the times that I had nearly dropped people for lack of confidence, and I was juggling a whole building—well, the first three tiers of one.

  At my thought, the stones started to wiggle. Beltasar's people let out a shrill wail of concern. Samwise wrung his hands.

  No, don't juggle! I told my subconscious, hastily thinking of stillness and calm. That was better. I wiped my forehead with my sleeve. A crowd began to gather around me, staring up at the pyramid in the sky.

  "Do you think we should leave it there?" asked one of the Ghord supervisors, a male with the head of a snake. "It's very impressive."

  "The underside would need more decoration," said the chief scribe, a woman like a quail with three feathers growing out of the top of her head. "We would have to get instructions from the property owners on what to put on the bottom."

  "That will change the terms of their contracts," Samwise said. He plucked the Pyxie from his pocket and whispered instructions to it. The Pyxie dove back in. I heard faint rustling sounds.

  It wasn't easy, holding the pyramid aloft. No one seemed in a hurry to get anything done. Consultation went on endlessly, delaying Beltasar and her workers from the repairs. Aahz kept telling them what would go wrong whatever choices they made. My shoulders started to shake. No matter how much power was available, it was still going through one mortal Klahd magician—me.

 

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