“Don’t do that.”
Her gaze shot to his.
“They loved you, and they lied, but they did it to protect you. They wanted you to enjoy life, and all it had to offer. They didn’t want you living in fear.”
She knew with every breath she took they loved her, the reason she was still alive. Shari may have been her adoptive mother, but they all mothered her and protected her to a fault. They lied and it hurt, but those lies compared to the beautiful life she’d had with them for twenty-three years were insignificant.
He paused. “This is my fault.”
She shook her head. “No, this isn’t your fault. Don’t ever—”
“Even if I believed that I have plenty more reasons.” He took a breath. “I’ve been a lousy boyfriend. You aren’t mine. We both know that, but I haven’t been what you deserved regardless.”
No, not lousy. Now that she knew he’d been fighting Malums, it dawned on her why he often cancelled plans on a whim. “Glen, I don’t hold—”
He cupped her cheek. “No, you wouldn’t hold it against me because you are better than that, but I know.”
Dragging his hand through his hair, his gaze fell from hers. “There’s nothing like death. It makes you realize your every mistake. All the things you should’ve done when you had the chance and didn’t. That’s what hurts the most…Thinking you were gone and knowing I should’ve been better because you deserved it.”
His eyes misted. “I won’t ever forgive myself. I’m sorry.”
Her heart clenched. “Glen, there’s no need to apologize.” She loved Glen as a friend and accepted him with his flaws. Her only regret was not breaking things off, knowing they were only ever meant to be friends.
“Yeah, there is, but again…you’re…you, so you wouldn’t think there is. You’re too kind to say anything, too wise to hold grudges, and beautiful beyond words.”
Her jaw dropped.
He shook his head. This time, clearly in frustration. “I never even told you that, did I?” His eyes, sorrowful, he whispered, “Forgive me, Val.”
“There’s nothing to forgive,” she added, quickly. “If it happened this way, then it was meant.” She said it to comfort him, but didn’t believe it. She’d never believe it. To her, there would never be a reason for her sisters’ deaths.
“The night I met you, I prayed you were mine. I knew better, but I wanted it and I prayed for it.” He smiled a sad smile. “You’re too good for me.”
Too good for him? No, he was a good, kind man regardless of the fact he often cancelled their dates. “Don’t say that ever again…It’s as much my fault. I knew I wasn’t yours, and I never ended things.” She shook her head. “I was scared. I’d never been in a relationship. I didn’t—”
“I know, and I was too selfish to end it myself because despite everything, I wanted you. I acted the way I did because every time I looked at you, I was reminded you weren’t mine, no matter how much I wanted you to be.”
Touched by his honesty, her eyes watered. “Oh, Glen, I don’t—”
“I don’t want you to say anything. I wanted you to know the truth. Thank you for thinking there’s nothing to forgive.”
She smiled softly, sadly.
He leaned in and kissed her.
She stilled. Instinctively, she lightly placed her hand over his chest to push away. He pulled away.
“Forgive me again for stealing one last kiss.” He smiled. “I envy the man destined for you. I hope he is everything you deserve and much more…I know you’ll be safe.” He glanced in Nathan’s direction. “But if ever you need anything, you call me. No matter what happened, you call me. Promise.”
“I-I promise,” she whispered.
He caressed the side of her face. “I’ll miss you, Val.”
He walked away, and she stayed frozen in place. Surprised and confounded with everything he said, everything she’d learned.
Nathan’s hand on her elbow, he cleared his throat. “Val, we have to go.”
“I-I…”
He led her away, glancing around them. “Don’t be so surprised.”
“He couldn’t have—”
“He was honest and brave for telling you. If he ever hurt you, it was to protect himself. He feared falling for you knowing you’d never be his.”
Who would’ve known they’d shared the same fear?
Nathan confirming it, she lost control of her tears.
****
A breeze swooshed past. Jacob caught her scent. He stiffened, scanning the area around him. He found her. His heart jolted in his chest.
Smiling, her long auburn hair loose shining in the sun, the breeze making her white skirt swirl around her. Moving in her direction, his gaze roamed, not far, just to look at what held her undivided attention.
A male warlock.
Jacob stopped dead in his tracks. His jaw clenched. He fisted his hands unable to look away.
His fated with another male, but they were just having a conversation. He had no reason to rip the warlock limb from limb. He believed that down to his soul, but it didn’t make the jealousy souring his gut fade, not one bit, so he stood like a stone and watched, aware he’d drawn the attention of his niece, Ashley, and Clyde.
Then the unexplainable happened.
The male leaned in and kissed her.
He kissed his fated.
Jacob’s heart clenched painfully. He shook his head trying to convince himself he hallucinated. It couldn’t have happened. It couldn’t have.
A blow to the chest. His gaze shot down. There, he spotted an arm. His gaze followed the arm until he saw Clyde’s face. The angel’s blue stare filled with sympathy locked with his.
Not an illusion. It had happened. He stood there and watched another man kiss his fated, the woman fate gave him.
He wanted to scream, to cry, to kill. He could want that all he wanted, but couldn’t move. He could feel. He felt it all.
Envy. Guilt. Remorse. Grief.
And pure undiluted anguish.
All of it, so much of it, ripped right through him.
He didn’t know why he wasn’t roaring in pain. He didn’t know how he continued to stand, to breathe. That much pain, he thought only death would bring.
But he wasn’t dead; he was alive, because that pain never faded. Instead it compounded when anger, like he never felt, burned, then effortlessly spilled around him.
His mind screamed.
His demon seethed.
It clouded every thought. Still, he couldn’t speak, couldn’t fucking move.
“Calm down,” Clyde demanded. “It’s broad daylight.”
He heard the words, but didn’t listen. He couldn’t manage to tear his gaze from the warlock who’d kissed his mate.
“Listen!” Clyde bellowed. “She doesn’t love him. She’s never loved him.”
The warlock caressed the side of his mate’s face.
The searing ache swelled. He pressed his right palm against his chest. Feeling his heart beating, he shook his head in disbelief. Amazing. He would’ve sworn it’d just been ripped right out of his chest.
Finally, the warlock walked away.
“She’s mine. My mate. Mine,” he whispered, barely recognizing the sound of his voice.
He wanted to chase after the man, hunt him down, and kill him, but he needed to get to her, to wipe away the male’s scent and replace it with his. He needed her to soothe him.
Decision made. With all his strength, he willed his body to move. It ached and trembled from the effort, sweat beading on his brow, but he couldn’t move. Why couldn’t he get to his mate? Why couldn’t he move?
Fuck.
He needed her!
He needed to get to her!
A pained growl escaped him. His eyes welled with tears.
“We can’t release you,” Clyde admitted. “Not until we’re sure you won’t go after him. He isn’t a bad man, Jacob.”
Releasing a breath, he blinked and tears drifted do
wn his cheeks.
“Uncle Jake…”
He felt warmth at his side.
Annie. His Annie.
His head snapped down. Her big, dark eyes, round with fear. One hand tight in his, the other pressed to her chest.
His niece witnessed it. She felt it, his pain. How had she withstood it when he barely managed?
She deserved better, and he didn’t deserve such beauty.
Guilt filling him, bile rose in the back of his throat. He swallowed it down.
“I’m sorry, pupa.”
He then addressed Clyde and Ashley. “You have my word.”
Ashley released her hold over the wind. She’d used her power to hold him still. The reason he hadn’t been able to move. Clyde backed away from him.
Without another word, he lifted Annie. One hand under her butt, she wrapped her arms around his neck, her legs around his waist. He buried his face in her hair. Breathing her in, he walked away.
****
The pain in his chest hadn’t ebbed. He hid it, fought with all his might to ignore it, for Annie. The emotions churning inside him were beyond what any child should bear.
“Jake.”
Just inside the entrance into the demon compound, he turned and spotted Ashley, her face drawn, sympathy spilling from her. Clyde stood behind her, stoic.
“Annie, would you like some ice cream?” Clyde asked.
She glanced at Clyde, then at her uncle. Intelligence shined through her big eyes. He knew she didn’t want to leave him. He also knew she would, understanding it was no place for her. Her gaze shot to Clyde. She nodded. Jacob set her on her feet. She wrapped her little arms around his legs and whispered, “I love you.”
Kneeling, he cupped her face. “I love you too, pupa. I’m sorry.”
Ashley grabbed Annie’s hand, then turned briefly to spare a glance at her mate and left with Annie.
Clyde waited until they entered the elevator. “I am sorry.”
He shot Clyde his deadliest glare. “Spare me your sympathies. I don’t need pity. I don’t need more pity.”
“I don’t pity you. No one pities you. It’s hard to pity a man who wears an armor of anger. You don’t trust. You don’t let anyone in…except Ashley.”
Eyes blazing, his jaw clenched. “So I deserve what I got? I deserve seeing another man kiss my fated because I’m friends with yours?”
“I never said that, and I wasn’t implying it either. You think any mated male can’t easily sympathize with you? You’re wrong. I can barely stomach you befriending my mate. It was worse before we’d mated. But what you just witnessed, no one deserves that, and I wouldn’t wish it on an enemy.”
He saw the truth in Clyde’s expression. He and Clyde could hardly stand each other, but Clyde was noble. Besides, Jacob finding his mate worked to Clyde’s benefit. Having Val wouldn’t mean he’d forget or forgo his friendship with Ashley, but he’d spend more time with Val, time Clyde had Ashley to himself.
“We held you back because, if given the chance, you would’ve killed him without thinking beyond the fact you haven’t told her.”
His hands in fists, he shot back, “So it’s my fault because I didn’t tell her? I couldn’t tell her. She’s terrified of me.”
“Stop being so damned defensive.” He drew in a breath and released it. “I’m not saying anything of the sort. What I am saying is: she doesn’t know. The warlock doesn’t know. I read him. He isn’t a bad man, a little selfish, but it’s beside the point. You would have been banished, revealed yourself to mortals, and started a war between your breed and theirs. We don’t need another war. The one brewing is enough.”
Clyde was right. Clyde and Ash did the right thing. Still, it infuriated him. They kept him from his fated when he needed her.
Turning away from Clyde, he ran his hands through his hair. The image of the warlock kissing his fated burned into his eyes. He shut them, but it didn’t help. The image was seared into his very soul. Would he ever get rid of it?
He punched the wall. A snap sounded, then came the pain. It spread around his hand and shot up his arm. He welcomed it. For a few seconds, he thought about the physical pain. For that moment, he forgot what he’d seen, how it killed him.
“You are too consumed with what you saw. Did you listen to what she told him? Did you see her reaction to the kiss?”
Jacob turned, his gaze met Clyde’s. No, he hadn’t heard what she said. What he saw shredded him, even with his superior senses; he couldn’t find it in him to focus enough to listen. Swallowing the lump in his throat, he waited for the angel to continue.
“She broke things off with him. She started dating him close to half a year ago at the insistence of her coven, but she never loved him. It was a peck on the lips, and she backed away from him.”
Half a year!
Clyde shook his head. “Is that all you heard?”
“Why are you reading me?” His jaw went hard. “Even when you thought Ashley was mine, you didn’t read me.”
Clyde shrugged. “I would have…except I was so out of my mind jealous at the time, I didn’t think of it. I’m doing so now because I’m trying to help you. Ashley cares a great deal for you and despite what you may believe, I care, too.”
Through clenched teeth, he shot back, “Because your mate cares.”
“You forget I’ve read you.” Clyde’s eyes hardened. “I know everything about you. I know what you’ve lost and how you burdened yourself with guilt for centuries. I know because of it, you built walls and isolated yourself from the only family you had left. I know now you suffer in its wake.”
Fuck. He didn’t care how much the angel knew, but hearing a play-by-play of the mistakes he’d made wasn’t easy.
“Stop it,” Clyde shouted. “Stop torturing yourself. You can’t change the past. Even if you could, it wouldn’t render different results.”
His breath caught in the back of his throat. “W-what?”
“They would’ve died. You couldn’t save them—any one of them.”
He didn’t believe that. If he’d been a better warrior…If he hadn’t turned his back…“But—”
“You tortured yourself for decades for nothing.”
The doors to the building opened. Her scent hit him.
His heart squeezing in his chest, the breath rushed out of him. He didn’t want her to see him defeated, didn’t want to look at her, but his body moved. His eyes met hers and softened.
Her gorgeous face, those full lips, touched and kissed by another. He wasn’t angry with her…with the warlock, with himself, with his life, but not at her, never her.
He wanted her, wanted her more than he ever wanted anything in his life. His body, his mind, his fucking soul ached for her. He had to fight it. If he didn’t, he’d terrify her, so he forced himself to look away from her shocked expression.
“Did something happen? Is…Annie okay?” She bit the side of her lip.
“She’s having ice cream with Ashley.”
She let out a breath. “I apologize for interrupting.” Quickly, she walked past them.
With each step, the ache inside him grew. When she strode into the elevator and out of sight, his stomach rolled. He fisted his palms. The elevator doors slid shut. Her scent lingered, but she was gone. His whole body strung tight, battling his every need.
Want her. Need her. Now, his demon purred.
His control snapped. He lost his will.
“Wait—”
He never heard the rest of Clyde’s warning.
****
Anguished, his face ashen. Defeat clear in his handsome features.
She saw it. She read it. And she felt it.
Pain sliced through her. The unmanageable need to console him gnawed her raw.
Something happened. He’d been a completely different person. Not angry, not sweet and comforting, yet another Jake, this one devastated and beaten like his world had been ripped off its hinges.
With trembling hands, she wai
ted until the elevator door closed. Once it did, she lost her composure, slumping against the wall. Placing her hand over her aching heart, she couldn’t fight the tears welling in her eyes.
The next thing she knew, an arm tightened around her waist. Another grasped the back of her neck and pressed her against the expanse of a broad chest. Startled, she stiffened. Her arms shot out instinctively to push away, but he was stronger. He tugged her to him, trapping her arms between them. She trembled then those arms fully engulfed her, and the heat of that powerful body surrounded her.
Soothed. Jake. She didn’t need to see his face. His arms around her, his body pressed to hers, his scent calming her. Catching her breath, she rested her cheek on his chest. The room swirled. She gasped.
“Shh, shh…it’s me.” His face by her ear, his breath warmed the flesh on her neck. “Please, don’t be afraid. I won’t hurt you, Val. I’ll never hurt you.”
“J-Jake? What just—”
“Materialized,” he whispered.
Valerie pulled away slightly to stare into his dark eyes and regretted it instantly. Bleak and anguished, she couldn’t stand to see it. She had to go. She pushed against his chest, but he wouldn’t budge. Instead, he pressed her closer until she couldn’t fight him anymore, and her body melded against his.
“Don’t push me away…Please.”
Looking up into his dark eyes, she whispered, “W-why?”
His lips millimeters from her own. “Let me hold you.”
The warmth of his fingers trailed down her cheek stopping at the tip of her chin. His gaze drifted to her mouth, and then he ran his thumb across her lips.
God, would he kiss her? Did she want him to? Absolutely. She couldn’t remember why she shouldn’t let him. When he didn’t make a move, she did.
Leaning into him, she pressed her lips against his. Soft and warm and lulled every ache in her.
In that single moment with her lips on his, she knew why her gift warned her away.
One kiss—all it took.
A feeling so intense and profound came over her, dizzying. A combination of many emotions, all good. Safe. Fulfilled. And most startling, relief…the kind felt when arriving home after a long trip. It made no sense, but that feeling was a high she could become addicted to.
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