Life plays funny games. When you’re a child all you want to do is stay up. And when you’re a woman, with the right man beside you, all you want to do is get back into bed.
“Holly?”
No.
Her eyes flashed open; she sat up instantly, recognizing the voice even before she saw Billy standing on the lawn, beside the porch, his hands in his pockets.
She moved with the speed of instinct, grabbing Katy from her chair and up into her arms, against her chest, carrying her back into the house, into her bedroom.
“You stay here, sweetheart. Just for a while.” Placing her on her bed, she reached wildly for a reason, some way to keep Katy here and away from Billy. “I have to talk to someone privately for a little while.”
“You mean the man who just came?”
“Yes.”
“Why?”
“Because it’s a private conversation. OK? And anyway, you have to get changed out of that bathing suit. You get changed and stay here and then I’ll come back and we’ll go out for an ice-cream cone like we said we would.”
“Who is he?”
“I’ll tell you later. I’ll be back soon. Please, chickpea, just do what I say. Please.”
“You’re scaring me, Mommy.”
“There’s nothing to be frightened of—I promise. We’ll go to the mini-golf place after the ice cream. We’ll have a great time. But you have to get dressed.”
“OK.”
Holly didn’t care that she was bribing her way out of this, she just wanted to make sure Katy stayed in her room until she got rid of Billy. She imagined Katy piping up and asking Billy what she’d asked Jack, the “Are you the Explorer?” question. And then Billy might just say, “I’m not an explorer, but I am your father,” and their world would implode.
He’d said he’d be gone two weeks, but three weeks had passed and he hadn’t shown up. So she’d stupidly relaxed, thinking he’d given up on his desire to see Katy. How typical of him to come on foot a week late; to sneak up on her—and Jack.
Jack. Jack’s here. I won’t have to deal with Billy on my own. It’s a whole different world now that Jack’s here.
And it was. She realized just how much it was when she went back out onto the porch and saw Jack standing across from Billy, who had come up the steps and was sitting in the chair Katy had just vacated. Already, Jack had established his authority, as if this was a job interview and Billy was the applicant. Holly walked over and stood beside Jack, presenting a united front.
That first night after she’d seen him again at Henry’s, she’d told Jack about her past with Billy. He’d listened, nodding occasionally, swearing occasionally. And when she’d informed him at the end that Billy had returned, he’d hugged her to him and said, simply, “Don’t worry. We’ll take care of that wanker if he ever comes back. I’ll sort him out.”
“Holly. Your friend here seems to think I have no right to see Katy.” Billy was facing into the sun; his eyes were squinting and his right leg, swung over his left knee, was jiggling. “I don’t think this is any of his business. Can we talk alone?”
“No.” She put her arm around Jack’s waist. “Jack and I are together.”
“Jack your traveling companion?”
He was dressed as if he’d just come off a golf course, in green shorts and white polo shirt. Everything about him, especially in comparison with Jack, looked weak and boyish; his tone of voice was snippy too, a child deprived of a toy.
“Hardly.” Jack crossed his arms. “We’re not traveling together, we’re living together.”
“Living together?” Billy paused, and Holly took some satisfaction from the surprise on his face. “Well, that’s, as you would say, hardly the point. The point is Katy, don’t you think?” He addressed his words to Holly. “I’m not only talking about my rights, I’m talking about her rights. Her right to see her father.”
“I’d say you forfeited your rights, Billy,” Jack said evenly. “And as for Katy, I think she has the right not to see someone who doesn’t actually give a toss about her.”
“Would you please tell this man to leave?” Billy’s voice raised in pitch. Holly could see the struggle he was having as he tried to gain some control. “We used to be friends, Holl. Before all this happened. I honestly don’t see why we can’t have a civilized conversation with each other, alone. Now.”
“Oh, bugger off,” Jack muttered. She could feel the muscles in his back go taut.
“Billy—I’ve thought about what you said when you came before.” Holly made sure her voice matched Jack’s in confidence. “And I might have considered what you were proposing. But look what you did. You said you wanted to see Katy and then you left. You took off yet again. You said you’d be gone for two weeks. Well, it’s been three weeks. You can’t even be bothered to call and say why you needed that extra week. I can’t trust you to do anything you say you’re going to do. And Katy won’t be able to trust you, either. This is a huge, huge deal, Billy. And you can’t even get the beginning part right. I refuse to have you disrupt her life on a whim.”
“It’s not a whim. A friend of mine got sick in California. I had to go back and see him in the hospital. He was having an operation. He used to be my roommate at Stanford. I couldn’t let him down. And I didn’t know how long I was going to be there. He was in the hospital longer than I expected. That’s why I didn’t call.”
“So, Billy, your friend was sick. I see. And did the dog eat your homework too?” Jack was smiling; and he was using his teasing voice, the one Holly loved—except it wasn’t one that Billy would appreciate, she knew.
“You’re really pissing me off. Why don’t you fuck off, limey.” Billy stood up.
“Limey? That’s a clever put-down. Learn that at Stanford, did we?”
“Where did you learn ‘bugger off?’ At Oxford, Cambridge? Where did you go to college, Jack?”
“Not some poncey place for cowards. Anyway, you haven’t told us. What happened to your roommate? Did he break his leg running away from his responsibilities?”
“Oh, ouch. That really hurt. And what were your roommates like, Jack? Is it true what they say about English men? Were you all buggering each other? Is that how you learned the word?”
Jack took a step toward Billy.
“Don’t.” Holly was reaching out to grab his hand when she saw the door to the porch open and Katy come running out barefoot, in shorts and a T-shirt, heading straight into Jack’s arms.
“Hey, princess.” He picked her up, threw her a foot in the air, caught her, and held her so she was facing away from Billy.
“Time to go, Billy Boy. Holly and Katy and I have an ice-cream date.”
Billy didn’t move, his eyes on Katy’s back.
“You really should go,” Holly said, trying not to make it sound like an order. If he stayed as angry as he was, he might dig in his heels and cause havoc.
“I’m here now, you know. For the rest of the summer.”
“I know,” Holly nodded.
“I’m not going anywhere.”
“I know.” Katy was beginning to squirm. Holly knew her daughter: she wanted to be put down, she wanted to know who this new man was. “We’ll talk. But not now.”
“All right. But not if he’s—”
“Please. Just go. Please.”
Billy left, his shadow following him down the porch steps. Jack threw Katy in the air again, put her down after he’d caught her.
“Good riddance to bad rubbish.”
“Jack.”
“I mean it, Holly.” He shook his head. “He’s spineless.”
“We’ll talk about it later.”
“Talk about what? Who is that man?” Katy tugged on Holly’s shirt. “Why was he here? Is something bad happening?”
“No, nothing bad is happening, chicken. Something good is happening. We’re going to get ice cream.”
“Who is he?”
“He’s someone I used to know at school.”
/> “Then why don’t you like him? And why doesn’t he have a spine? Doesn’t he need a spine to walk with?”
Jack laughed, ruffled her hair.
“What are you like?”
“What am I like?”
“I mean, you make me laugh, princess.” He turned to Holly. “I need to get changed and we’ll go to Friendly’s. Be right back.”
“OK. And I promised Katy we’d take her to the mini golf afterward.”
“Excellent.” He executed an imaginary putt. “Tiger Woods, watch out.”
When he’d gone, Holly sat down, pulled her daughter to her. “Katy, why did you run into Jack’s arms like that? I’ve never seen you do that with anyone but me and Henry.”
“Jack’s my friend.” She said it with pride. “He’s almost like me.”
“What do you mean?”
“I mean, I forget sometimes he’s not the same age as me. I forget he’s a grown-up.”
“So you really do like having him around? You really are happy with him moving in with us?”
“Yes.”
“And you’d tell me if you weren’t, right?”
“Yes. Jack doesn’t like that man you went to school with. I could tell.”
“He doesn’t really know him, Katy.”
“Do you like him?”
“Let’s stop talking about him. What kind of ice cream are you going to have?”
Katy blinked, her brow furrowed.
“You know, Bones . . .”
Holly waited but Katy didn’t continue.
“Of course I know Bones, chicken.”
“I know you know Bones, Mommy. I’m not stupid. I don’t understand why Bones . . .” She stopped, and bit her bottom lip. “I want chocolate chip. With jimmies on top. Two scoops. Can we go now? Please?”
“Sure.”
“Race you two lazy girls to the car,” Jack called out from the house. “At the count of three, go. One . . . two . . . three . . .”
Katy took off like a rocket.
Holly waited a second, watching Katy’s churning little legs run as fast as they could, her blonde hair flying behind her.
She’s happy. I’ve never seen her this happy. If Billy ruins her happiness, I’ll kill him.
Chapter 8
“William, you’re not making sense.” Henry sighed. “If you are intent on becoming a lawyer, you should attempt to be more coherent. I’m glad you’ve come to see me. Frankly, it saves me a trip to your house. But I have no idea what you want from me, or what, exactly, you’re trying to prove with this verbal rampage. You don’t approve of Holly’s young man. I understand that much. But I fail to see how her choice of partner is your concern.”
Get a life, he felt like saying. Once again, a teenage expression which was remarkably apt.
They were sitting opposite each other in Henry’s living room, on either side of the fireplace. Henry had taken his pipe and his pouch of tobacco out but hadn’t lit up yet. Ten minutes before, just after he’d finished his dinner, Billy had arrived at his front door, had asked politely if he could speak to him about the situation with Holly and Katy, had sat down with a serious expression—and then had proceeded to lambaste Jack Dane. Who was this guy? What right did he have to talk as if he owned Holly, as if he was Katy’s father? Just because he had an English accent didn’t mean he could be so superior, did it? On and on in such a wild manner, Henry wondered if he were on drugs. Until he finally interrupted him, addressing him as William on purpose, in an attempt to bring some formality into the proceedings.
“I’m sorry.” Having been on the edge of his chair, Billy now sat back, looking abashed. “Something about him makes me crazy.” He dragged his hands over his face. “I’m not usually like this. I’m usually calm. In fact, that’s the whole problem. In all of this . . . in all of this . . . what I mean is, everything that’s happened since Holly got pregnant. The way I’ve acted hasn’t been me.”
“Who has it been, William?”
“OK,” he sighed, expelling a heavy sound of dismay. “Point taken. But haven’t you ever done something you’re ashamed of?”
“Sorry, but I don’t think my behavior comes into this.”
“I know. Of course not. I’m only trying to say I’m ashamed of what I did. Of how I ran away. I’m not someone who would normally do that. And I want to make up for it. I want to make things right. The problem is that everything I do and everything I say only seems to dig me deeper into the hole I’ve made. Is it so wrong to want to see my daughter? To meet her, to talk to her, to have a relationship with her? I’m not saying I wasn’t wrong—I was. And because I was wrong I missed five years of her life. So I have paid a price.”
“Katy and Holly have paid a price as well. A much heavier one.”
When Billy didn’t respond, Henry placed the pipe in his mouth, took his time lighting it. The complexities of this situation were daunting, exhausting. Billy was right: he’d done things in his past which he was ashamed of; not on the same scale as Billy, but still. No one was an angel. Perhaps Billy did have rights. If so, what did that mean for Holly and Katy—and Jack, for that matter? The thought of Katy shuttling back and forth from Billy’s house to Holly’s was disturbing. Yes, many children did exactly that these days, but this was Katy, his Katy, who loved routines and rituals. What would it be like for her to be shunted back and forth, how would she feel about having a father appear out of the blue? Especially a father like Billy. Who might be intelligent but who was essentially a weak man.
“The point is, Henry, I thought I could at least have a decent conversation with Holly. We used to be friends. I wanted to sit down and discuss this with her. I really believe we could have figured out a way to work something out if we’d been given some time. But this guy. Jack. I mean, who is he? How long have they been together? What does he do?”
Henry lit his pipe, dragged on it and watched the puffs of smoke float in the air.
“I’ll find out one way or another, Henry. It’s a small town. You know that.”
“He’s a good man.”
“And? What does he do?”
“He’s a waiter. There’s no shame in that.”
“Where does he work?”
“At that new restaurant. Figs.”
“Charlie’s new place? I see. And now he’s living in Holly’s house. He’s certainly fallen on his feet, hasn’t he?”
“Your implication is unbecoming, William. And grossly unfair. I’d prefer to end this talk now.”
Sitting forward again, Billy eyeballed Henry, unblinking.
“The very first time I saw my daughter, she was running into the arms of another man. All I saw of her was her back, Henry. He deliberately threw her up in the air and held her to prove to me she was his, not mine. He was staking a claim. And he was provoking me, trying to start a fight. The Holly I knew wasn’t someone who should be with a man like that.”
“The Holly you knew shouldn’t have been abandoned by the man who made her pregnant.”
“There’s no way, is there?” Leaning over, he put his hands on his knees, his head in his hands. When he raised his face, there were tears in his eyes. “I’m never going to be forgiven. Fine.” He stood up, wiped the tears away with his palms. “But I will tell you what I told Holly. I’m not going anywhere. I’m not going to slink away and make it easy for you. I don’t trust that man. I don’t want my daughter involved with him. Believe it or not, I care about Holly too. This is all wrong. She must have inherited a lot of money when her mother and father died. And now some good-looking English waiter has moved in. Whether it’s unbecoming of me or not, I’m daring to say what you must be thinking.”
“That is so far from the truth—” Henry rose too “—that I won’t even dignify it with a denial. Goodbye, William.”
“Goodbye.”
Billy stalked out, leaving Henry fuming. The gall, the arrogance of the boy. Did he think Holly couldn’t possibly attract a good-looking man, that Jack was only in it for
the money? It was convenient for Billy to believe Jack was a fortune-hunter; casting Jack as a villain put him in a better light. Pathetic. Damn pathetic.
Henry crossed to the sofa by the window where Bones lay sleeping. Sitting beside him, he rubbed the dog’s head between the ears, in an attempt to calm himself down.
And there you have it, Bones, you old dog. Billy may have gone to the best schools and the best university, he may turn out to be an excellent lawyer, but I would prefer to be with Jack any day. Waiter or no waiter, whatever his background may be. Lucky Holly to be rid of Billy, is all I can say. We’ll protect her, won’t we? Let him try to interfere. Just let him try. I’m a tired old man right now. But I have fight left in me. And so do you, you old thing. Don’t you?
Opening his eyes, Bones rolled over onto his back, his paws in the air.
All right, I’ll rub your stomach. But only for a minute. Then I’m going to bed. And we can both dream of the days when we could run for miles.
The moonlight woke him, his eyes opening to a clear white stream of rays. He hadn’t drawn the blinds in his bedroom; after brushing his teeth and washing his face, he’d been too tired to perform even that simple a task. Instead he’d flopped on the bed, on top of the blanket, and nodded off immediately. Now he was alert, awake, and checking the clock radio to see what time it was. Midnight. And the moon was full. He sat up, telling himself not to slouch. No one could see him, but posture counted, always. Swinging his legs over the side of the bed, he debated with himself, but only for a few seconds. It was a perfect time to go fishing. Age was no excuse, his creaking knees were no excuse. In the old days, he wouldn’t have hesitated even this long. He’d already be getting dressed and ready.
Stop dawdling. Turn the light on and get moving. Now.
He obeyed his own orders, pulling on a pair of trousers and a long-sleeved shirt. No wind, so the mosquitoes were going to be biting; he’d cover himself with anti-bug spray too, but clothes were the best protection.
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