Had that fact, too, skewed his thinking about Jack? Had he been loath to question him further or take him to task in any way because he was so relieved that Jack was happy to stay in Birch Point?
Deciding to make a cup of tea and sit at the computer for a little while before going to bed himself, Henry headed for the kitchen. When the phone rang, he had just settled down at his desk, with the tea in easy reach.
“Hello?”
“Hello, Henry. It’s Billy.”
“Hello, Billy.”
“I’m sorry to bother you, but I have to tell you something. It’s Jack. There’s something wrong with Jack. I’m not talking about the whole waiter business. He doesn’t have any friends. Or any family—supposedly he doesn’t. Except he called someone in England. And I called her and she says she doesn’t know any Jack Dane. Which is bullsh—I mean I memorized the number from his phone and I know I got the right one. So who is she? That’s what I want to know. Who is she?”
“Billy, you’re not making any sense.”
“I looked at his phone. When I went over there. There was a number he’d dialed and I called it. And this woman, Eliza McCormack, answered and said she didn’t know him. Which is crap but no one will believe me, will they? You don’t believe me, do you? Do you believe me?”
“Young man—you’re drunk.”
“Yeah, OK, whatever. I’ve had a few beers but I’m telling the truth. There’s something wrong with him. He made Holly cry today. I heard them when they came in and I was in the kitchen and they didn’t know I was there. She was really upset. Who makes his wife cry on their wedding day? There’s something wrong with him.”
“There’s something wrong with you, William. Are you telling me you stole Jack’s phone?”
“I looked at it. That’s all, OK? I didn’t steal anything. I broke a picture. That’s all I did. But don’t tell her. I threw the glass away.”
“This behavior of yours is bordering on the obsessive. What are you doing? Stalking them? Your legal career will be in jeopardy if you carry on like this. Looking at other people’s phones. Calling people randomly. Breaking pictures. It’s unhealthy. And now, on top of it, you’re drunk as a skunk.”
“I knew you wouldn’t believe me. I’m going to find a lawyer. I’m going to find out exactly what my rights are.”
“Fine—you do that. But meanwhile I suggest you leave them alone.”
“Do you know anyone else who doesn’t have one single friend, Henry? Not one? Who won’t ever talk about his past? There’s something wrong and no one will believe me.”
“Tell it to your lawyer, William. You should go to bed and sleep it off.”
“He smokes, too. He shouldn’t smoke when there’s a child in the house. You know, when he went to get his cigarette I thought he was getting a gun. I’m not kidding, Henry.”
“And I’m hanging up now.”
He placed the receiver back on its hook and reached into his pocket for his pipe.
Billy was crazy. Stark raving mad. And drunk. Stuffing the bowl of the pipe with tobacco, he leaned back in his chair.
“Do you know anyone else who doesn’t have one single friend, Henry? Not one?”
No, I don’t. But that’s not a crime. It doesn’t mean that something is “wrong” with Jack.
“Don’t tell Jack I cried. Please. Promise?”
All right, Katy. But I’ll promise you something else. I’ll find out more about Jack. I’ll make it my job. If he really made Holly cry on her wedding day, he has a lot to answer for—and he’ll have to answer to me.
Chapter 16
The back porch of the Woodstock Inn looked out over a lake. Rocking chairs, a hammock and some tables were scattered on it in a seemingly random fashion, inviting guests to sit and relax in a comfortable, casual setting. Everything about the inn was informal and cozy: catering for all seasons. As soon as she and Jack had walked in, Holly pictured how beautiful it would be in the autumn, with the New England foliage in full flow, or in the winter, with gently falling snow and a big fire crackling in the sitting-room fireplace.
She’d found it online and was thrilled to see that it lived up to the pictures and the happy reviews from satisfied customers. They’d arrived in time to have a nice supper in the small dining room; and though the other eight tables were all occupied, no one was talking too loudly or interfering in any way with the intimate atmosphere.
They’d taken their coffees outside and were sitting in two rocking chairs, watching the moonlight bathe in the lake.
I’m a married woman. I have the best, most wonderful husband in the world and the best, most wonderful child in the world. I never thought I’d be so happy. I never thought I’d be so lucky. How did I get so lucky?
“The lake’s nice, but it’s not the sea, is it?” Jack asked in a low, hushed voice.
“I’ve always thought there were mountain people and water people and I’m a water person. A lake’s not the sea, you’re right, but it’s still water. It has the same effect.”
“There’s no endless horizon, though. That’s what I dream about—an infinite horizon. I wouldn’t mind dying if I could look out over the sea when I did.”
“Please don’t talk about dying.” She reached out and grabbed his hand. “I can’t stand it if you talk about dying. My dream is to live forever, as happy as I am now, with you and Katy. Nobody’s going to die. We’re going to live happily ever after and ever after that.”
He laughed and squeezed her hand.
“You’re a hopeless romantic, you know that?”
“And you’re not?” she shot back. “You’re the one who loves old-fashioned, and there’s nothing more old-fashioned than a happily-ever-after ending.”
“True.”
“You know, I thought when you first called me old-fashioned on the bus, you meant it as a criticism.”
“You couldn’t have been more wrong.”
“Sometimes I think about how lucky we were—I mean, I don’t think we would have gotten together again if Henry hadn’t tricked you into coming to his house.”
Jack stopped rocking.
“I have a confession to make. As soon as we landed on the beach and started walking up to his house, I figured out where we were and who Henry was, so I guessed I’d see you again. I hoped I’d see you again. We would have found each other again without him—he just made it easier.”
“Really?” Holly smiled.
“Really. We were made for each other, Holly Barrett Dane. Don’t you know that?”
“I guess I do—now.”
He began to rock again, and she timed her own rocking so it matched his. Their hands were still entwined; his was warm and strong and comfortable. An elderly woman came out onto the porch, looked over at them and went back in.
“She’s very tactful, leaving the honeymooners alone,” Jack stated.
“Do you think she knows we’re honeymooners?”
“I think we have ‘honeymooners’ written all over us. We’re a walking ad for honeymooners. We radiate honeymooners.”
“I love the way you always make me laugh.”
Again, he stopped rocking.
“But I made you cry today. You didn’t love that.”
“Let’s forget that. It doesn’t matter.”
“But it does. It matters hugely. I hate hurting you, Holly. I hate upsetting you. I want you to know that. You have to know that.”
Unaccountably, the seriousness with which he said this scared her slightly.
“I thought the English didn’t like to talk about their emotions. Watch out or you’ll be on Oprah soon.”
Why was she trying to lighten the mood when he was doing exactly what she’d always hoped for—airing his feelings? On the car trip, she’d been walking on eggshells, careful not to bring up the scene with Billy or even his desire to adopt Katy. She’d kept on safe territory, fearful that she might set off his anger again if she said the wrong thing, or said the right thing in the wrong way. No
w that he had broached the subject of that terrible sailing trip, she should have felt relief. Instead, she wished she could put it off, defer discussing anything too serious until they’d had a few days all on their own. They’d never been together like this before; they’d always had Katy with them. She wanted to wallow in this feeling of being a young couple at the center of each other’s universe before she let the world in again.
He sat forward, his elbows on his knees, his arms crossed. “Wolves mate for life, you know. Once, there was a male wolf who’d been caught in a trap. His mate, his wife, came every night to see him. Every night for weeks. He was becoming weaker and weaker and she was more and more distressed. Until she finally lay down beside him and stayed there with him and they died together.”
“I asked you before—please don’t talk about dying.”
“I’m not talking about dying, Holly. I’m talking about enduring love. About sacrifice.”
“Do you feel you’ve sacrificed a lot for me?” A different fear hit her. “Too much? Do you want to go back to England?”
“No.” He shook his head. “No. And I haven’t sacrificed for you, you’ve sacrificed for me. I know there are times you’re not sure about me, times when you don’t understand me—and that’s my fault.”
“What are you saying?”
“I’m saying the past always catches up. You think you’re beyond it, that it’s behind you. But it’s not. I hate it.”
“I don’t understand.” Holly stared at him. “You always talk about the future, about not looking back. We’re going forward, aren’t we? You said you wanted to adopt Katy today. You meant that, didn’t you? That’s a huge step forward.”
“I can’t adopt Katy.”
“Jack?” She didn’t want to cry—not again. But he was looking so sad, so wistful, and she was feeling so lost, tears started to form. “I thought you wanted to. I don’t understand.”
“Holly, listen to me. It’s not that I don’t want to. I do. But it would be too complicated. Too many people would have to get involved. People who ask questions. People like Billy.”
“What questions?”
“I should have told you before. I should have told you and given you the choice.”
“What choice?”
“The choice to stay away from me. I was selfish—and frightened that if I told you the truth, you’d leave me. But we’re married now. We’re going to spend the rest of our lives together—I hope. You need to know about me. And I need to tell you.”
“Tell me what? Jack, you’re scaring me.”
He got up, picked up his chair, moved it so that it was facing hers and sat back down.
“Put your legs up on my knees.”
When she did, he put his hands on her ankles and began to rub them.
“Don’t be afraid. Never be afraid of me. It’s a long story, though. So get comfortable.”
“Does it have a happy ending?”
“I hope so.” He nodded. “If you love me enough, it does. That’s all I want, Holly. I want us to be all about a happy ending. I want ‘happy ending’ to be written all over us.”
Chapter 17
I can tell you my secrets because you can’t tell anyone so it’s not like I’m breaking my promise, is it? It’s a really special secret so I’m going to whisper really softly. You have to listen hard.
You know Jack and Mommy came back from the honeymoon last night. And Mommy picked me up from here and then she and Jack and I had a late supper together. Then I went to bed. But then Jack woke me up. I didn’t know what time it was, but it was late and really, really dark. He had a flashlight and he told me to be quiet so I was.
I thought maybe we were going to the beach again to play catch even though it was cloudy and the moon wasn’t showing. But we didn’t go outside. He took my hand and put his finger to his lips and said, “Shhhh,” and we went to where the stairs go up to the attic.
I don’t like the attic. It scares me. It’s all dusty and there’s nothing there except two old beds. I was scared to tell Jack I was scared in case he got mad again. He told me to sit down on one of the old beds and I did and then he sat down too and put the flashlight between us.
“Are you glad I’m back, princess?” he asked me and I said, “Yes.”
“You’re not frightened of me, are you?” he asked and I said, “No.” I almost said I was frightened of the attic but I didn’t.
“I’d hate it if you were frightened of me,” he said, so I said I wasn’t.
“People can be so bloody stupid,” he said. I didn’t know what to say back and then he said, “But you’re not stupid.” And that made me happy. He was quiet and didn’t say anything. He crossed his legs underneath him so he was sitting on them and he put his elbow on his knee and then he put his hand on his chin.
“Some people might think it’s wrong that we play games.”
“It’s not wrong,” I said really, really quickly because it’s not. It’s fun.
“I like playing games.”
“So do I,” I said again really quickly.
“I love you, princess. You’re what makes the world a good place.” He smiled at me and I smiled back. It made me feel really special when he said that. Like I was really important.
“Do you want to play a game now?” he asked.
And I said, “Yes,” but I didn’t know how we could play catch in the attic because the roof comes low down and a grown-up can’t stand up all the way.
“Good!” He slapped his knees with his hands. “That’s excellent. We’ll play hide-and-seek. You close your eyes and count to ten and I’ll go hide and you can come find me. But you have to be really quiet, OK?”
I didn’t dare tell him I didn’t want to play hide-and-seek in the attic. It was so dusty and scary and dark there and I wanted to go back downstairs but I didn’t dare say so.
It’s like he can tell what I’m thinking because he told me I shouldn’t be afraid. He said he’d give me the flashlight and that’s all I needed not to be scared.
I always want to do what he says. It’s hard to explain but when we’re together on our own it’s like we’re the only two people in the whole world and he and I are best friends. I used to have made-up friends. Mommy calls them imaginary friends. But Jack’s real and that’s different. I know that you’re real too. And so are Mommy and Henry. But Jack is different. When he’s with grown-ups he’s a grown-up too but when he’s with me alone, he’s my age. And he makes me feel like when we’re together nothing bad will ever happen. Like he has magic.
I didn’t want to play hide-and-seek but I couldn’t say so. I took the flashlight when he gave it to me and when he told me to close my eyes and count to ten, I did. I wanted to open them and to peek but I was afraid he’d see me open them and then it wouldn’t be a real game any more and it would be my fault.
I was sitting on the bed all alone when I got to ten and opened my eyes. I didn’t know where to start looking but I got up and I waved the flashlight around. I couldn’t see him anywhere and there were all these scary shapes on the walls. I was more scared than I’ve ever been and I knew the only way to get unscared was to find Jack.
I walked around the bed and then I walked around the other bed and I waved the flashlight some more. It was so quiet and I wanted to call out his name but I knew that I wasn’t supposed to. The way the roof is in the attic makes these spaces Mommy calls crawl spaces. She took me up to the attic once when she was deciding if she should put an old chair up there. She told me a cousin of hers used to come up there with her and they’d play in the crawl spaces the roof made. They’re like tunnels. You get on your hands and knees and crawl inside them.
She told me her cousin used to crawl really far into the tunnels but she never did. She said boys did things like that and weren’t scared and her cousin would come out looking like a ghost because he was covered by all the dust inside the tunnels. I thought maybe Jack had crawled into one of them so I went over to one and I put the fla
shlight on the floor and lay down so I could look inside but I couldn’t see him.
And then I heard this knocking sound. It knocked once and then stopped. And then it knocked again. I thought it was a ghost knocking, and the ghost was about to come and get me. I was so afraid I crawled inside the tunnel so the ghost couldn’t find me. But I forgot to take the flashlight and the tunnel was all dark and I tried to get out but I got stuck. I couldn’t move and I was breathing so hard and I was so scared I wanted to scream but I couldn’t because I opened my mouth but no sound came out. And then the ghost grabbed my legs and started pulling me out of the tunnel and I kept trying to scream but no sound would come out. It just wouldn’t come out no matter how much I tried and the ghost was pulling me out and I was sliding on the floor trying to kick and to scream but the ghost was holding my legs and I still couldn’t make any sound come out.
And then the ghost put its hand over my mouth and was smothering me and I couldn’t look. My eyes were shut because I knew the ghost was going to kill me and I didn’t want to see it kill me.
“Sshhh, princess, it’s all right. Ssshh. It’s me,” a voice said. It was Jack’s voice. His breath was all warm and clean in my ear. I opened my eyes and I saw his face right next to mine. His hand was still on my mouth.
“That wasn’t a very good game, was it?” he said and he shook my head back and forth with his hand so my head was saying no. “I’m really sorry, princess. I didn’t mean to frighten you. I was standing right behind the door. I thought you’d find me straight off.”
He took his hand away from my mouth. I said, “Where is the ghost? Is the ghost gone? Did you kill it?” and he said, “There wasn’t any ghost, princess.”
“But I heard it knocking.”
“That was me knocking—trying to tell you where I was. Giving you a hint.”
“OK,” I said but I was still scared and I still thought there was a ghost.
“Come on.” Jack picked up the flashlight and then he picked me up in his arms and carried me back down the attic stairs. “We’re going for a treat. A midnight feast.” He kept on carrying me, past my bedroom and down to the kitchen.
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