Being as organized as I am, some might think I would spiral in a panic spending this much time in Em’s space, but to be honest, I always feel myself relaxing here. There’s a warm comfort here, rather like her. It’s like a continuous embrace of her arms wrapped around me. Already I could feel some of the panic that had been building inside me receding.
Mugsy, Em’s elderly rescue dog, gets up from where he’s been lying next to Em’s chaise. After licking my hand, he proceeds to scoot his butt up against my legs. Taking that for the signal it’s meant to be, I start stroking his silky ears as Em’s pencils scratch on the sketchpad she’s holding. I begin to replay both meetings and my phone call with Caleb in my head.
Putting down my phone and planner, the hand not petting Mugsy combs through my hair. My fingertips graze where I know my amaryllis tattoo sits at the base of my hairline. Not for the first time, I think we were so lucky to have found one another.
Mugsy puts all of his weight on me, bringing me back from my wandering mind. Em has changed the music, a clear indication she’s finished her drawing and is waiting on me with one eyebrow raised.
I lean back in my chair, away from Em’s penetrating gaze, staring at the coffered ceiling. “I fucked up.”
“I doubt that,” Em says calmly.
“I double booked an appointment.”
“That wouldn’t have you down in my workroom, Cass. You would just adjust one or the other. Now”—she puts on her patronizing face—“what happened?”
“I booked a date over the Collyer Homecoming Dress Extravaganza.”
That knocks the look off her face. She starts sputtering, “Wait, what? A date? You? Over the dress extravaganza? That’s your baby and you forgot about it?”
I groan. “I know. I have no idea how either happened, Em.” I lean forward and put my head in my hands, partially covering my ears.
I think I hear her ask “With whom,” but I deliberately ignore her until she reaches over and snags my hand, ripping it away from my head. Not for nothing, she takes a few pieces of my hair along with it. Bitch.
“With who?” Framing my face with her hands, I know there’s no avoiding the question this time.
I breathe in and out while glaring at my sister. I know my reaction isn’t helping this situation. I mean, it’s not a big deal, right? But even I know I’m lying to myself as my heart picks up speed when I say, “Caleb Lockwood.”
She looks at me. I stare back.
A moment passes. Then two.
I’m expecting an explosion. The howling laughter as her hands drop is not the one I anticipated.
“Are you kidding me?” she gets out, gasping for air. “The ‘former groom’ asked you out on a date? When?” She falls back on her chaise, clutching her stomach as she laughs, her long legs draped on either side.
I debate picking up one of her gorgeous throw pillows and smothering her with it.
“Are you done yet?” I sneer, all my earlier calm rapidly disappearing.
“Not even close. This beats anything I’ve ever done by a mile, sister. You will never again be able to hold anything against me. This is my perma get out of jail free card.”
Just wait until she realizes I have photo evidence I’ve been holding onto. Forget about it. I’m a big girl. I’ll figure this out on my own.
Em is still laughing when I stand up to stomp out of her office. “No! Wait Cass, hold on,” she pleads, still chuckling. My hands are holding my phone and planner so tightly, my knuckles are turning white. “Please, Cassy, sit with me.”
Pausing, because Em pulled out a name only she ever gets away with calling me, I plop back down next to her, setting my stuff to my side on the chaise.
Em takes one of my hands and gives it a squeeze. “What are you more upset about, Cass? The schedule snafu, a date in general, or with Caleb specifically?”
“I have to choose?” I ask her in return. My voice is rich with derision.
“No, but it helps to have a place to start.”
Sighing, I squeeze our joined hands. “I think it’s because he throws me so off balance, I can’t quite catch myself. I mean, a few days ago, I thought he was getting married to two other men! He came to see me, took me out for coffee, and the next thing I know, I’m agreeing to a date.” I catch Em’s grin. I release one of her hands and start to pick at an imaginary piece of lint on my jeans. “I didn’t even think at what might be on deck. It was like I knew we didn’t have anything important going on for his brother, so it was okay to accept. What if we had another wedding that night? It’s bad enough it’s the dress extravaganza.”
She’s quiet for a few minutes. “What’s your heart telling you?”
“About Caleb?”
“No, about Santa Claus.” She rolls her eyes.
I narrow my eyes at her through my lashes.
“I know you, darling. The nightmares have come back, haven’t they?”
My head flies around. It’s a good thing she’s so damn tall or I would have clocked her.
“Just because you’re older, doesn’t mean we don’t see you. It doesn’t mean we don’t know when you’re hurting. What happened here and at the farm…let’s just say I know when you need space. The others have been ready to tear down the door to your cottage for the last few days.”
“I’d have killed them. They would cost a fortune to refurbish.”
“I know.” We both smile, but her smile fades. “Are they as bad?”
I shrug. “They’re there. Not as bad as they were at the beginning of the week.”
“I could have easily knocked out both Phil and Ali that night, Cass, I was so fucking mad. At Phil for not explaining dick. And Ali? I still haven’t spoken to her since that night. Her apology better either be on her knees or the equivalent. And no, for the record, that is not what we think of you. You fucking know better than that.” Damn, Jason must have been on a rampage when he went inside the farm after I walked home Monday night.
My face must reveal more than I thought. “Phil is on everyone’s shit list, and competing for a close second is Ali. Corinna, Holly, and I are waiting to see how you want to handle this. We’re yours to command, Captain.” Em mock salutes me.
It makes me laugh a little sadly as I put my head on her shoulder. I can’t remember the last time we’d had such a fracture in what I feel are some of the cornerstones of this family.
Respect. Trust. Honesty.
Em’s head comes down next to mine. She repeats her question.
“What’s your heart telling you, Cass?”
This time, I reply without hesitation. “He’s gorgeous, arrogant, and used to getting his own way.”
She chuckles. “Yep, I figured that one out in the few minutes I spent with him.”
I slip my hand from hers and hook our elbows together. “He loves his brother as much as I love all of you. He apologized for what he did in the office.” I think about what I’m about to say. “He doesn’t want to sign the NDA. He wants me to trust him enough to tell him where I’m going to be so he can reach me.”
Em just whistles long and low.
“And when he touches my hand, my fucking hand, Em, it’s like my mind blanks.”
“So what’s the problem? He’s hot as fuck, has excellent taste in women, and is basically a nice guy. Or am I missing a downside?”
“How about my schedule issue? You know, the reason I came to your office?”
“No. The reason you came down here is because you wanted reassurance you did the right thing. You already know how to fix the scheduling issue. And right now, those two people would do just about anything to make things up to you.”
I sit back to get away from my sister, staring at her in wonder. “You mean…”
“I mean, you go to the extravaganza, have Caleb pick you up from the farm, and have Phil and Ali do all the end of event dirty work as part—not all—of making amends for the crap they dealt you.”
Damn, this girl. She should have been a strategis
t, not an artist.
“Those girls rely on us, Cass, and we won’t let them down. But I’m not going to let you let yourself down either.”
I don’t have words. I wrap my arms around her and hold on, not even realizing tears are sliding down my cheeks.
After a few moments, she pulls away, brushing at her own face. “Oh, I have something for you.” She reaches for her sketchbook. Flipping to the last page, she turns it toward me. Caleb’s face reflects back at me in artists chalks. It’s so lifelike, I can almost smell the cologne I’m sure lingers in my office.
“Just what I thought,” she murmurs with a smug smile. “You didn’t answer me before.”
I tilt my head to the side quizzically.
“What’s in your heart?”
Letting out a long breath, I answer her honestly. “I don’t have a clue.”
“Good answer.” Quickly spraying the paper so the chalk doesn’t smudge, she hands the sketch to me.
After another long hug, I leave her office. I hold the picture of Caleb for a few moments before tucking it safely away in my desk. Soon, my fingers are flying, composing the memo to Phil and Ali about their assignments for the extravaganza.
I also begin mentally preparing myself for the phone call I’ll likely receive from Caleb tonight.
Em’s right. I’m about to let myself take a few risks and open my heart to a good guy for the first time ever.
No more hiding.
11
Caleb
After hanging up with Cassidy Wednesday night, I received a phone call from my number two at Hudson, Keene Marshall, ordering me on a plane down to Washington, DC that same night to provide information to the FBI regarding a corporate espionage case we helped break a month earlier.
It’s now Thursday, and although we’re both satisfied with the progress being made, our tempers are short because of the quick but necessary trip. After our last meeting, Keene and I loll around the corporate jet terminal at Dulles International Airport, waiting for our jet to fuel up to take us back to Teterboro.
Leaning against the wall, I check the time. It’s only nine o’clock, not too late. Scrolling through my contacts, I find who I’m searching for. I connect the call and put the phone up to my ear.
“Cassidy Freeman.” That voice. I can feel the smile break through the weariness across my face.
“Hello, Cassidy.” Damn. Out of the corner of my eye, Keene glances up from his iPad in interest. Mentally wishing I was anywhere else but in the middle of a VIP lounge making this call, I turn my back on my best friend’s knowing face.
“Mr. Lockwood,” she replies in her typical cool voice, but this time, I detect a hint of humor in it. “Is there something I can help you with this evening?” I hear voices in the background, the sounds of glasses clinking, laughter, and male voices.
“Am I interrupting something?” My voice sharpens noticeably. Cassidy is sexy as fuck and I have no claim on her. Yet, I can’t be the only man who notices her.
Her voice warms slightly when she replies, “No, you’re not interrupting at all. The family was just sitting around reviewing our upcoming weekend. You’ve met everyone. I think you understand how rambunctious the group of us can be when we get together.”
Remembering my unique introduction to the Freeman family, I let out a bark of laughter. “Yes, I certainly can. Who’s taking on Phil?”
The laughter gets caught in my throat as I picture the slow curve of her lips and the spark in her blue-green eyes when she responds with a simple, “Me.”
I clear my throat. Loudly. “Sorry, it’s a bit dry where I am.”
“Can you hold on just a moment?”
“Sure,” I reply cautiously.
I hear her open a door and the sounds of the outdoors at night come through the line. “I apologize, but trying to have any sort of a conversation with my family listening is a challenge on a regular basis. Also, if I had to listen to Phil bitch and moan about having to pick up any more garbage, I was going to lose it.” Her beautiful laugh mixes with the sounds of night.
I’d give just about anything to be there in person, watching her mass of glorious hair curl down her back, as well as the seductive curve of her lips as the sound trickles from them.
I don’t care that the words she just spoke make absolutely no sense to me at this moment. I want to do everything I can to make her laugh like that again. “Tell me what I have to do to make Phil pick up garbage every day and I’ll do it.”
She laughs harder. “Stop, I can’t breathe.” I start laughing too.
Eventually, our mutual hilarity dies down and we’re left with silence. Yet, it doesn’t feel awkward. I’m grinning so hard. Talking to Cassidy is better than watching an episode of Shameless.
I flip around and come face to face with Keene. Crap. His eyebrow is raised as he pantomimes asking who I’m talking to. I flip him off and walk away, but he follows me. Fucker.
“I just wanted to make sure we were still on for tomorrow,” I murmur quietly into the phone.
I hear her breathe. Shit. Is she backing out. “We are,” she admits.
I breathe.
“But.”
Fuck. This could go either way. “But…” I parrot.
“I need you to pick me up at the farm instead of at my place. And you need to know, it’s going to be chaos here.”
“Oh?” I ask, intrigued. “More so than usual?”
“Why, Mr. Lockwood, I do believe you are a bit of a smart-ass yourself.”
“Just getting that memo?”
A muffled snicker comes through the line. “No, it came with the memo that announced you were autocratic and getting married.”
“Not going to let me forget that one?”
“Probably not for a while, Caleb. Besides,” she adds with definite humor, “we’ll be out with your future husbands for our first date.”
Caleb. The sound of my name on her lips fires a spark at the base of my spine. I snap to stand straight when I realize what she’d said. Damn, I hate not being right there. “You said first, Cassidy,” I growl softly back at her.
“Pardon me?” she responds, confusion in her voice.
“You said first date, as in more than one. I’m holding you to that, you know.”
She goes silent. Shit. I know I’m pushing too fast. I wait for her reaction. What does she do when she’s backed into a corner? Does she walk away? None of this was in her file. It’s seductive, finding out her true secrets.
“Let’s get through Friday night, champ. Just because I said yes, doesn’t guarantee a fuck. I mean dick. I mean shit.” By this point, I’m laughing so hard, I’m bent over at the knees. Her cold voice would probably freeze my testicles if she was staring at me with those eyes. “It doesn’t guarantee you shit, Lockwood. Especially if you don’t give me a clue on what to wear.”
“Have you never been to Molly Darcy’s, Cassidy?”
“I can’t say I have.”
“For an Irish bar, it’s a nice one. Not super fancy. Something along the lines of what you were wearing Monday is more than fine.”
“See how easy that was, Lockwood? Why couldn’t you just say that last night?”
“Because then what excuse would I have had to call you?” I hear the announcement of my flight boarding. Finally. “Cassidy, I have to go. They’re boarding my flight.”
“I didn’t realize you were traveling. This seriously could have waited until you had a chance to call tomorrow.”
“I didn’t want it to wait. I wanted to make sure we were still on.”
“We are. Caleb?” Her voice is more hesitant than a moment ago.
“Yes?”
“Safe travels,” she murmurs quietly before hanging up the phone.
I look down at my phone for a heartbeat, and two before getting my shit in gear. Shutting down my phone, I toss it into my bag and head to the gate.
Keene, standing at the end of the steps waiting for me, says nothing until we’re on th
e jet, barreling down the runway. Gazing out the window across from me, he’s casually sipping his drink and asks, “Cassidy? I don’t remember you mentioning meeting a Cassidy when we had dinner a few weeks ago.”
He uncrosses his legs and gets more comfortable in the leather seat as our plane jets across the night sky. He still hasn’t looked at me. It’s a technique I’ve used many times. Don’t let your opposition think you want information so they relax a little, start chatting, letting details slip.
I don’t bother saying anything. Keene’s smart. Hell, he’s fucking brilliant. In addition to also being a trained interrogator from his years of military service, Keene’s background in criminal psychology makes him an expert at reading people while hiding his own emotions. It makes him an incredible employee and a pain in the ass friend. Fortunately for me, this is a quick hop back to New York. I can hold out that long.
I ignore him and take a sip of my drink. Staring out the window, I can feel his eyes on me, still waiting for me to respond. Instead of replying, I replay my conversation with Cassidy in my head. I wonder what she’s doing tomorrow? If it were strictly business-related, it would be at the office. I’m mulling that over when a few seconds later, the pilot’s voice comes over the intercom announcing, “Mr. Lockwood, Mr. Marshall, you are both free to use your electronic devices. Please relax and enjoy your flight to Teterboro.”
Putting my glass down, I reach into my bag for my iPad. After I type in my password, iMessage pops up a message from Cassidy. My finger hovers over it a second before I press to open it.
Cassidy: I’m sure it will be hours before you get this, but I just wanted you to know I’m looking forward to tomorrow. We have an event at the farm I forgot about when I first accepted. I hope you landed safely. Talk soon.
I smile and begin to type back, oblivious to the sharp eyes across from me.
Caleb: What event do you have? And we’ll forget about the part where I could tease the planner about forgetting an event…
I watch the little blue dots move as she types back.
Cassidy: Are you sitting on a runway somewhere? I thought you were boarding a plane?
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