He’d never spent so much time away from her. He missed her like a drug. He took her for granted sometimes when she was around, but now he missed the little things. He missed how feisty she was, always demanding more of him, always wanting to put them on level ground. He missed how she would scowl at him when she was angry. He missed having someone around who always understood what he was thinking, even when he was being irrational. Having said that, he didn’t think that Aby would ever forgive him for what he’d done to that man. She’d tell him that he was being cruel without reason, and she’d be right.
Jake felt so close to giving up that he felt an ache in his chest. It made him feel heavy. It made him feel like a bad person. The memories of what had happened before they blacked out were still hazy to him, but he remembered the feeling from the burning car, and it was growing inside him. It was just showing him once again how hard it was to carry on in a world like this. He’d started out so confident...so sure that he would be the one to survive this new world. He felt like he was born for the chaos of it all. He thought he was prepared.
But nothing had prepared him for the reality of it. So much death. So much pain. So much tiredness, anxiety, fear. His body was as close to giving up as his mind was. Aby had been his source of strength since the start. She gave him something to fight for, and she showed him that there could still be light in the world even when a dark cloud was hovering over them. Now only the cloud remained and it was starting to rain.
He didn’t even know what he was doing. His feet were carrying him and Megan through the forest. He was tempted by the idea of the lake, even if he had no real clue of how to get there. He suspected that it was the closest thing to a lead on Aby he’d be able to get. He knew that if she was alive, she’d have the sense to try and get somewhere safe. The lake seemed like the kind of place she’d gravitate toward. It was better than just wandering around, anyway.
But Jake didn’t even know where the damn lake was. He was heading downhill through the forest and hoping that it made sense geographically, but really, he didn’t have a clue. He wasn’t used to feeling so unsure of himself. He’d always seen himself as a leader. Ever since the EMP, he’d been so in charge of everyone else that he’d become a leader for real. But now he’d lost everyone he was supposed to protect, and he realized that he wasn’t the man he thought he was.
And all of a sudden, it was too much for him. The weight of his own failure, his own wrong doings, his own mess that he’d made, sent him tumbling to his knees. He was so tired. He felt Megna’s gentle hands on his shoulders and closed his eyes. He didn’t need her sympathy. He didn’t deserve it.
“You need to rest,” Megan told him gently. “You’re not yourself.”
“I’m fine,” he croaked.
“No, you’re not. Don’t argue with me right now, Jake.”
Jake didn’t fight back again. He didn’t want to admit it to himself, but it felt good to have someone else taking charge for a while. Megan wiped his brow and he realized then how hot and sweaty he was. He’d overexerted himself. He sighed, wishing he could be back in Pittsburgh, eating a hot meal and a cold glass of water with Aby. It was crazy how quickly he’d started to miss the simple things.
“We need a proper plan. We need food and water…”
Megan nodded. “I don’t think it’s doing us any good just wandering around...maybe if we head back to the road, we can ask someone for help. See if we can get some directions for the lake…”
“I don’t want to go back on the road until we find some weapons and build our strength up,” Jake said.. Some of his old confidence was coming back to him for a moment. “I know that the forest might not offer us anything at all, but we know how dangerous it can be on the roads. We’ve nearly been killed so many times…”
“You’re right,” Megan said. “So we stick to the forest. Maybe you’re right to lead us downhill...but we have no way of knowing if we’ll come across anyone or anything…”
Jake shook his head. “It’s a risk we’re just going to have to take. We’re running out of options, Megan. If we want any hope of survival...and of finding Megan...we just have to take things one thing at a time. We need food and water first...then we can think about the rest.”
Megan nodded. “Maybe we can find someone to trade with...get us a meal and some water…”
Jake didn’t have the heart to remind her that they had nothing worth trading. Just the clothes on their back and the break in their lungs. They truly had nothing left. It was like they were starting over again. Only a day ago, they had a car full of weapons and food. Now they didn’t even have a knife to protect themselves or a crumb to feast on.
Jake could see that their odds were not in their favor. They shouldn’t have survived this long, really. Every second they bought for themselves was a tiny miracle in itself. But Jake had to believe there was a reason to carry on. If they could find Aby then he’d never take anything for granted again. He had to fight for her.
“Why don’t you rest a while?” Megan said kindly. “I feel well rested. I can keep watch.”
Jake felt like he didn’t deserve her kindness. She had been nothing but nice to him since she’d met him, and all he ever did was doubt her every move. He wished he could tell her that he appreciated her, even if he didn’t always show it. He managed a small smile for her.
“Okay. And...thank you.”
“It’s my pleasure,” Megan said, blushing. Jake moved closer to a tree and laid his head on the ground, closing his eyes.
Sleep took him so fast and released him so quickly that it all felt like a blink of the eye. When he opened his eyes, Megan was sat quietly, scanning the area for any signs of life. Jake stirred groggily and Megan smiled at him.
“Better?”
He nodded, even though he felt like the nap had made his head foggy and his body ache more. She stood up and brushed herself off.
“Then we should keep moving. The sooner we find food the better.”
Jake nodded again. The idea was sensible, so he was willing to follow Megan’s lead for once. As she set off, he stumbled behind her, feeling like a zombie. He was almost as rough as he had been before he slept, but now, he was a little more hopeful. He felt like if he believed things could get better, then it would be enough to keep him going. Megan glanced over her shoulder and then fell back in step with Jake.
“Maybe we need to discuss what we’re willing to do...to get our hands on things,” Megan said. “Are we wiling to steal? To fight?”
Jake sighed. “I don’t know about fighting again...we don’t have any weapons. If our opponents do then we’re not going to win. Stealing might have to be a necessity. I don’t like it, but everything worth having has already been claimed. We know that from people taking everything we have. Maybe we can just take a little each time...enough for us to survive, but not enough to deprive other people. That’s fair, right?”
“I guess so...a few days ago, I wouldn’t have said it was. But things have changed...and people won’t give up supplies for free. If we want to live...I guess we just have to get used to doing things we don’t agree with fully.”
Jake nodded. He felt exactly the same. It was impossible not to feel guilty about their thought process, but if he had to steal to get him to Aby, then he was more than willing to do it. He silently promised himself he would take the next opportunity he could to steal some supplies.
As they carried on walking, Jake was certain he heard voices. He glanced at Megan and she seemed alert too. So he wasn’t imagining it, surely…
He was pretty sure that whoever was there wasn’t going to be a friend to them. They hadn’t met many friendly faces along the way. Megan stuck close to his side and he understood that she was preparing for the possibility of a fight. For the first time, Jake was terrified of what a fight could mean for them. Before, they had good odds. They had weapons to back them up. Now, it was just them and their bare hands.
But as the two young men came into
view, Jake felt himself relax a little. One was hobbling a little and the other was helping him along. They were easy pickings if it came to a fight. Hell, Jake even considered taking them out and taking everything they had. But he pushed that thought away fast. He wasn’t that kind of man. He was the kind of man who always tried to do the right thing...even if he hadn’t proved that much lately.
The two men stopped when they saw Jake and Megan approaching. One of them shakily took a knife out.
“We don’t want any trouble…” he said shakily. Megan stepped forward.
“Neither do we,” she said gently. “We’re hoping for some directions...we’re tired and hungry and lost. We heard there was a medic stop at a lake nearby...do you know anything about that?”
“We just came from there...I hurt my ankle,” the other boy said, gesturing at his feet. “You’re headed in the right direction. It’s about six miles from here. They’ll be able to help you when you get there, they have a lot of supplies.”
“Here...take a bottle of our water,” the other man said, putting away his knife and getting out a bottle of water from his backpack. After a moment of hesitation, he also passed Megan a cereal bar. Her eyes widened.”
“Are you sure? We don’t want you to give us something you can’t afford to give away…”
Jake had to hold back from snatching the food himself. It wasn’t much, but it would line their stomachs. He couldn’t believe Megan was almost turning it away. But the young man smiled at her.
“We have some more for ourselves. It’s not much...I’m sorry we can’t give you more. But if you make it to the lake, you’ll be okay. Be careful out there. It’s not safe.”
“Thank you,” Jake told the men earnestly. As the men continued on their way, Megan gave Jake the water to guzzle. He gulped down half a bottle and then handed it back to Megan. He knew he should’ve rationed it, but he wanted to keep his strength up for the walk. Megan split the cereal bar too and they spend a few minutes just recharging . Then, silently, they began to walk again, carrying on the tough journey to make it to the lake.
Seven
Aby
“Well, what’s the plan, young lady?” Peaches asked Aby. “Since you’re in charge now, what should we do next?”
Aby bit her lip. She had spent so much time wishing that people would trust her with more responsibility, but now that Peaches was putting her in charge, she had no idea what to do next. She didn’t know whether the cabin was safe. What if the men found her again and tried to kill them both? She would be outnumbered and they still had no weapons.
But going out into the wilderness was even more daunting. Aby was already getting used to the idea of having four walls around her and a roof over her head. She also knew that someone like Peaches would be unreliable and unpredictable out of her comfort zone. The last thing she needed was for Peaches to get crazier.
She pressed her fingers to her temple and rubbed there. She had a permanent headache. The last of their water was gone now and they had no food that wasn’t out of date. They needed to head out and find supplies whether she liked it or not. But she wasn’t ready to tell Peaches that. She was unhinged enough as it was. She didn’t want to say anything that might scare her.
“Let’s just try and see what we have for today,” Aby said. “We’re going to have to gather up everything we can and make the best of it. You must have some dried food that hasn’t gone off, right? And maybe some spare water...that’s the most important thing. Then we’ll need to find some way of defending ourselves. There must be some decent knives in the kitchen, but what we really need is a gun. That will put us on a level playing field with everyone else.”
“There are people out there with guns?” Peaches asked innocently. Aby’s stomach dropped. It didn’t occur to her just how sheltered Peaches had become in her house. She hadn’t seen half of the horrors that Aby had since the EMP hit. Telling her that there was something to worry about was a monumental mistake. Aby forced a smile.
“Well, this is America. People have guns, right? Not everyone, of course. I’m just concerned that if it comes to a fight that we’re going to be outnumbered and outgunned. It’s just a precaution. The more we have supplies wise...well, the more likely it is we’re going to survive.”
“I guess you’re talking sense, girl,” Peaches said with a sniff. “Well, I don’t have any weapons...I’m a pacifist, you see...but I wouldn’t be opposed to you having one to keep us safe. As for food and water...we might have some spare in the basement. If we can manage with that for a few days then we can go from there.”
“Perfect,” Aby said. She felt more relaxed than she had since she’d woken up with her splitting headache. She told herself that the roof over her head and the company of Peaches was enough to keep her going until she could find Jake and Megan. She wished more than anything that they’d find her, but until she was back with them, she had to be a leader. She had to be the strong one for Peaches and for herself. If she slipped up, they’d both wind up dead.
The day passed sluggishly as the two of them searched the house from top to bottom for useful items. They found a little more food that was actually edible, and a half drunk bottle of water hidden at the back of the thawed out fridge. They gathered every sharp item in the house and laid it out on the kitchen table before they ate a meal of plain rice that Aby cooked on a fire she made outside. It made Aby feel a little safer with all those knives next to her as she wolfed down the meagre meal. She hoped they’d be able to find something a little less bland on their trip outside the house.
“What’s next?” Peaches asked as she stuffed rice into her mouth. After days of not eating, she appeared to have got her appetite back.
Aby bit her lip. Peaches seemed a lot more stable now that she had food in her system. Was it time to tell her that they’d have to leave the safety of the house for a while? She swallowed anxiously.
“I think we need to head out and find supplies. We’re not going to last long on what we have...so we have to risk whatever’s out there in order to find the things we need to survive. If you can guide us to the nearest house...we can hopefully find it empty and ransack it of supplies. Then we can bury the supplies near your house so that if we’re raided, no one will find what we have.”
Peaches nodded slowly. “Okay...that sounds like a half decent plan. Well done, Aby. You’re doing a grand job.”
Aby sighed. She knew she was only doing such a good job because of Jake. She was doing exactly what he would’ve done if he was there. He was like the voice in the back of her head, leading the way even when he was miles away. Aby felt a pang in her heart. She missed him, but she couldn’t allow that to distract her. Her feelings had to come second to her common sense and her ability to make good decisions. She was the one thing keeping them both alive.
“Thank me once we’ve made it back here safely. I don’t think it’s going to be easy, but we have to try,” Aby told Peaches. “How long do you think it will take to hike to the nearest house?”
Peaches shrugged. “I don’t know...but I’m not as quick as I used to be. I’m going to slow us down. Don’t you think it would be better if you went alone?”
Aby had to bite the inside of her cheek to stop herself from getting angry at Peaches. She could already see Peaches trying to brush off any responsibility. She was quite happy for Aby to risk her life for her so that she could eat, but she didn’t want to risk herself. Aby knew how scary the outside world could be, but she wasn’t about to dump all of that responsibility on Peaches. She took a deep breath, knowing she couldn’t allow her anger to overtake her.
“I can’t go alone. I need you to guide the way or I’ll get lost.”
“I could draw you a map…”
“It’ll take twice as long if I lose my way. If I’m gone too long, who knows what could happen here,” Aby said darkly. “Besides...two is better than one. We can keep each other safe. We can carry double the supplies between us. All you have to do is guide us
and I’ll do the rest.”
Aby didn’t bother pointing out that if they were attacked, she’d save her own skin before she saved Peaches. If Peaches wanted to be all for herself then Aby found no reason to put herself first too. In fact, if Peaches could get her to the other house and back, she would be dispensable after that. Not that Aby wanted anything to happen to Peaches, but she wouldn’t exactly be a huge loss. All she had done so far was complain and use up resources. Aby was certain that once they made it back to the house, she’d probably be better off alone...even if the thought of being that lonely was too much to bear.
Peaches let out a long, dramatic sigh. It seemed to be her specialty. “I suppose I can make the journey with you. I don’t see how I’ll be of much help, but I can do it. When are we going?”
Aby hadn’t thought that far ahead. She weighed up their options. They could leave now in the dark of the night. Their bellies were lined and they were both relatively well rested. They could be at the other house by morning and then rest a little before returning back to Peaches’ house.
But it was dangerous to be out at night. The dark concealed them in some ways, but it would also be harder for Peaches to navigate without any light other than the moon and the stars. Plus, gangs tended to be more active in the night. Aby didn’t want to risk running into anyone better armed than them...which meant everyone, basically.
Aby closed her eyes for a moment and asked herself the question that had been running around her head all day. What would Jake do? He was the survivor among them. He was the one who had the best instincts about this kind of thing. She searched in her mind for some standard Jake logic and made a decision. She opened her eyes.
The End of the World Series | Book 3 | Survive The Destruction Page 4