by Quan Millz
So, yeah, ya girl NuNu locked down for the next fifteen years. And that was if I could get out for good behavior.
Yes – I fucked up big time.
My stupid ass didn’t realize I was playing chess with a nigga who was a master expert at the game. I didn’t even know what the pieces even looked like.
Truth be told, Pastor Wilson really wasn’t playing a game though. He was protecting himself – at all costs. He had to do what he had to do for him. I get it. Get it big time…
The whole entire time his ass was wearing a wire. Nigga got every single word I said – even our fuck session – on tape for twelve to hear.
Soon as I got thrown into the back of Darryl’s cruiser that night, the story further unfolded. Pastor Wilson immediately called Rasheeda and told her what I was trying to do. I never realized what I was doing was technically considered extortion. Even if I was trying to out the man as a lying, adulterating hustler, I still was trying to squeeze money out of him. That is against the law apparently. And because I broke some other federal laws, my ass had to deal with the Feds.
My plea deal, of course, was ripped to shreds. On top of my now mandatory eight years of prison for first-degree prostitution and wire fraud, I had to serve an additional fifteen for extortion. Why the large prison sentence? The dollar amount I was trying to finesse.
After I got arrested, my life pretty much faded to oblivion. My mama pretty much cut me off. None of my other family members wanted anything to do with me anymore.
No one truly found out what exactly that night either. I couldn’t say anything ‘cuz everything that happened was under sealed indictment. If I told a soul, I would spend the rest of my life behind bars.
“Hey, girl! You goin’ to the library today?” LaToya, one of the inmates down here at Joliet Prison, asked as she walked past me.
It was an icy Wednesday morning. The new year was almost here…I was in the prison cafeteria putting my tray back and was about to head down to the infirmary. For the last few days or so I’d been feeling somewhat nauseous. I didn’t know why exactly.
“I don’t know girl…I don’t feel too good. Feel like I got food poisoning,” I said.
“Oh ok. You goin’ to the nurse then?” she asked.
“Yeah, I’m actually on my way there now.”
“Aiight, girl! Holla!” LaToya walked off.
Just as I was about to walk out of the cafeteria, my stomach started to twist and turn. I felt wobbly then all of a sudden I threw up all over the place.
“Oh shit!” someone screamed.
I fell to my knees and clutched my stomach.
“SOMEONE GET HER TO THE DOCTOR!”
I passed out.
***
“How’s that IV treating you?” A black female nurse, looking no older than forty, walked into my hospital room. I had been in here now for the last three hours or so, hooked to an IV. I honestly had no idea what the fuck happened.
“It’s good. I feel a lil better,” I said as I rubbed the sides of my head. I was laying in the bed watching cartoons play on a small television inside the room.
“Well, we know why you passed out.”
Two reasons…You want the good news or the bad news first…
I began to get nervous. “Wait, what?”
Chapter 21
“Well…” The nurse exhaled. “The good news you are pregnant,” the nurse said with a slight smile.
“What?!?” I exclaimed as I clutched my chest. The EKG machine linked to me beeped faster as it detected my now rapid heartbeat. I was beginning to get even more nervous. “And what is the bad news?!?”
“Nashawna…You are also HIV positive. I’m sorry to tell you this. But listen, my sister, it will be okay! There are drugs for this now. Damn, we even almost on the verge of a cure,” she said as she walked deeper into the room to console me.
“WHAT?!?” I screamed and grabbed my mouth. Tears began to swell in my eyes. My gaze at the nurse widened in terror!
“This is too much! NO! NO! I don’t even know who the father—” Then it hit me…If I was pregnant. I’m pregnant by Pastor Wilson. Had to be. This shit…was crazy. Completely fucking crazy.
But fucking HIV?!? This was scary! Who even gave it to me?!? "I CAN'T! PLEASE! NO! I CAN'T!"
"Girl! Calm down! Or we might have to sedate you!"
"AHHHHHH!" I screamed at the top of my lungs and blacked out.
Epilogue
A week later…
So, after several attempts of trying to get into contact with my mother, she finally decided to answer my phone call. We talked and I told her I had some very important information to tell her. I told her she needed to visit me ASAP. She was reluctant but she agreed. Today, she was coming to finally visit me for the first time today after my infirmary appointment.
It was time to come clean to everyone. Especially now that Pastor Wilson was involved with my possible pregnancy and HIV diagnosis.
For the last few days or so, I contemplated actually getting an abortion. But the more I thought about it, the more I realized that nigga screwed me over! Fuck that! I was gonna keep this baby. This was going to be my goldmine. My last great come up! And possibly my ticket out. See, the way I saw things, I figured that if I decided to keep the baby, I could then reveal that to the world. My pregnancy would bring his fuckin’ ass DOWN!
That lying, fake ass Pastor old fuckboy (‘cuz that was really what he was – a old school fuck boy) was walking around living his best life, still perpetrating a fraud. Probably still busting down other broads. Probably stealing money from his campaign. Meanwhile my ass behind bars! If this was his baby, then he needed pay. And if he had HIV, then I knew it was his clown ass who gave it to me! I was gonna sue the FUCK out of him. And even try to get myself out of here.
“Spearman! You ready?” a prison guard announced as she walked toward my cell.
“Yup!” I exclaimed as I got up from my bed. The butch ass Latina hoe opened my cell and I walked out. She slapped cuffs on me and proceeded to escort me down to the infirmary.
Today, I had an appointment with the infirmary nurse to start my round of HIV meds. I also needed to pick up some prenatal vitamins
At this point, to be honest with you, I was still on the fence about this baby. I couldn’t see myself being a mother behind bars. I already had Quay. And although this may seemed fucked up saying this, perhaps him being autistic was a good thing for him. He didn’t really or understand who I was. He was off in his own world. Mama was right. I was a horrible mother. The best thing for me to do was to get an abortion. I was going to ask the nurse about that when I got down to the infirmary.
We got down to the infirmary and I sat in the waiting lounge with other patients. It was now 9:45 AM. My appointment was at ten.
“Hey! Spearman! I need you to fill out this paperwork, okay?!?” an over-the-top, bubbly white intake nurse said as she walked over to me with a clipboard in her hand. “You lookin’ better, hunny,” the white bitch said with this weird smile. Get out my face, dumb ass dog-smellin’ hoe. “Thank you!” I replied as I flashed a fake grin.
White bitch walked off and I started to fill out the paperwork on the clipboard. There was a small television in the waiting lounge that everyone mostly had their eyes glued to. Local news was playing.
“THIS IS A BREAKING NEWS ALERT FROM ABC7 CHICAGO! GOOD MORNING, VIEWERS. I’M JAKE PIRTLE REPORTING LIVE FROM THE SOUTH SIDE OF CHICAGO. PROMINENT PASTOR AND MAYORAL CANDIDATE PASTOR E.L. WILSON WAS FOUND SHOT TO DEATH TODAY INSIDE OF HIS CHURCH OFFICE. CHICAGO POLICE WERE CALLED TO APOSTOLIC MISSIONARY BAPTIST CHURCH EARLIER THIS MORNING AFTER GUNSHOTS RANG OUT FROM THE ADMINISTRATION WING OF THE CHURCH. POLICE SAY THAT WILSON POSSIBLY MAY HAVE COMMITTED SUICIDE AFTER HE DISCOVERED THAT HE ALONG WITH HIS CHURCH WERE UNDER SERIOUS INVESTIGATION BY THE IRS FOR TAX FRAUD AND EVASION. THIS IS A BREAKING STORY. MORE DETAILS TO COME!”.
I sat back in my chair, perplexed! I couldn’t believe I heard what I just heard. F
ucking Pastor Wilson shot himself! Everything around me began to spin and I felt like I was on the verge of passing out again. This was TOO MUCH! WHAT-THE-FUCK?!?
“I gott go! I GOTTA GO!” I screamed as I shot up from my seat and threw the clipboard off to the side.
“Nashawna, where you going?!?!?” the white bitch nurse asked
“Bitch! Mind yo business!”
It was noon now and I was on my way downstairs to go see my mother. I was still shocked by the news of Pastor Wilson killing himself. I didn’t know what to think anymore. Didn’t even know what the next step were going to be in this. Who the fuck would I tell? Where would I go?”
I was in a haze as I walked down to the visitor’s area. Soon as I walked in, I saw my mother at a table all the way in the corner. I slowly and cautiously walked over to her. She kept her head lowered to the table. She looked so visibly distraught.
“Mama…,” I said…She looked up. Her eyes were red and puffy. “Hey, NuNu…Nice to see you…”
She stood up and leaned in to give me a hug. I hugged her back – but cautiously. A part of me wanted to cry. I had so much flying through my mind right now.
“Mama, I know this has been hard for you. I know this is just all too much. Sorry if this is making you cry,” I said as we both sat down.
“It’s okay…” “I’m cryin’ because of some other shit…”
“And that is?”
“Let’s not talk about that right now. What is this information you need to tell me?” mama asked.
I took a huge deep breath and then exhaled. I looked up to the ceiling and wiped a tear that escaped my eye. “I don’t know how to say this but now its time for me to tell you why I am really down here. The cat is out the bag now…”
“Okay, what’s up. What mess you done put yourself into?”
“Well, after I had got locked up the first time, I had to do community service. I had been doing it at Apostolic. You know…The big church you said you used to go to from time to time?”
“Yeah…And?” My mother’s face turned sour.
“Well, I just heard about what happened on the news…”
“Yes…I know, too. That’s why I’m crying. I knew Pastor Wilson…”
I froze for a second. “You did?” I asked.
“He was a good man…”
“Well, mama, I got in trouble because of him.”
Suddenly my mother’s face sunk. Her eyes amplified. “What? What you mean he got you in trouble?”
“Well, Jessica, one of my girls, well, I had found out she had been messing with him. So, when I started volunteering down at the church, I knew he had something going on with her.” “I was doing good. Going every day damn near. Doing my hour. They was paying me to work on his campaign.”
“Damn it! I’m confused. What is it you tryin’ to say?!?”
“Well, he fired me. ‘Cuz I thought he was tryin’ to ask me for sex. But he wasn’t…”
“Oh my God! You nasty little wench you! THAT’S WHY YOU CALLED ME DOWN HERE?!?”
“Mama, I ain’t done!”
“Girl, you betta not be! What did you do to him?!?”
“Well, after he fired me, I went back home and got a sex tape he made with Jessica.”
Soon as I said that mama’s eyes suddenly flew wide open in shock. She clasped her mouth and shook her head.
“I confronted him about it. I extorted him…”
“YOU WHORE! I JUST KNEW IT!”
“We had sex though, mama. And I think he got me pregnant. And I think…I think he gave me HIV!”
“WAIT?!? What did you say?!? Pregnant?!? NUNU! PLEASE TELL ME YOU ARE LYING!”
“No! I’m not, mama!”
My mom stood up and looked up toward the ceiling, staring off into space as if she’d seen a ghost or some sort of crazy demon took over her. She was totally silent and frozen. “Mama! What’s wrong?!?”
She looked back down at me and said, “Baby…”
“Mama! What the hell is wrong with you?!?!?”
She sat back down and looked at me. “So, you had sex with that man? And you think you got pregnant by him?”
“Yes! Mama! YESS! I couldn’t say anything ‘cuz everything was sealed. I need to take a DNA test quick to prove he’s the father of the baby I’m carrying!”
“Baby…,” my mother uttered with gloom again.
“You ain’t need to get no DNA test for the baby if that’s the case…”
“Why not?”
“Cuz’?”
My mother couldn’t let the words roll off her tongue. By this point she looked like she’d become a zombie. Her eyes were wide open. Her mouth trembled four syllables that I understood completely.
“He’s what?”
“Yes…”
“AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!”
You want to find out what NuNu’s mama told her? Text the keyword: NUNU to 555888 to get notified of Part II!
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Acknowledgments
I’d like to thank all of my die hard readers and fans for the continued support! I’d also like to thank the craziness of social media for inspiring me to write these funny yet thought-provoking stories!
About Quan Millz
QUAN MILLZ is the profound and prolific writer from the sizzling streets of Miami, Florida. Now residing between Chicago, Illinois and Los Angeles, California, he's known for his gritty, graphic and gut-punching urban tales that depict the real and rawness of black urban life. His deeply detailed and visual storytelling talent gives readers a view of the rollercoaster of emotions that many endure when trying to climb their way out of dark struggles in the inner city. He's the author of the This Hoe Got Roaches In Her Crib, Project Hoe Dreams and Crack Hoe Dreams series.