Felix walks outside and motions to me to come into the house. The Parish has a three story apartment building on the lot with a small house tucked off to the side of the building. It almost looks like it was once a motel the way the place is laid out.
I walk slowly and try and build up my confidence. I smile at Felix as I walk across the gravel lot and meet him at the front door.
“Comes in, Sophia, and close the door.”
“Hi, Felix. Sure thing,” I reply casually. The fact that I am back here alone with him makes me nauseous.
His slicked-back hair looks greasy, accenting his sleaziness. Wearing a blue tracksuit with the top unzipped halfway, you can see he is shirtless. A hand towel is around draped his neck as if he is working out and sweating. Yeah, right.
“So, you make client happy last night? You sleep over and fuck his brains out. Yes?”
I just nod and smile.
“Don’t be so shy. Tell Felix details. Is he kinky? Not a cop, no?”
All of a sudden I feel a rush of calm sweep over me. Thinking about James gives me strength. You can do this. You are loved. You will get out of here.
“We went out for drinks and then he took me back to his other apartment instead of The Benson. He was bored with the hotel.”
A brilliant but bold idea pops in my head and I know how I can get Gabi out of here too.
“He watched me take a bath and then we fucked. He slept for a few hours and then he woke me up to party with him. We had sex again in the living room.”
Continuing to give him the blow-by-blow, I see him eating it up. “Mr. Hunter told me he wants me to bring another girl next time. He wants a Mexican or Latino girl. He gave me cab fare and kicked me out before passing out.”
“Ah, so he wants another girl and you next time? This is good.” He starts for slide his hands up my dress and I force myself not to move.
“If he asks for you, I will ask him about ‘nother girl.”
“He may not remember, he was pretty messed up.” I try to say this causally and I think I nail it.
There is only one Mexican girl who I can think of, Gabi Garcia. I pray that the odds are with me that this will work. At this point, it is my only play to get her out of here with me.
“Nice. Making more money for us.” He laughs and pinches my butt.
“Yes. I hope this makes you happy, Felix.” I smile trying to do anything I can to distract him from touching me further.
“Yes. What also pleases me? Touching your pussy. Let Felix check and see if you really did come through for us.” He sticks his cold hand inside my panties and he feels rough. I want to slap him in the face and tell him to get his fucking hands off me but I can’t.
“Good, sweet Sophie. You feel nice. He starts to stick his fingers in me faster and I mentally try and escape from it. This is happening to someone else. Not you Eva.
Thank goodness I hear a knock on the door and he stops moving his hand but does not release me.
“Yeah.” He yells at the door and I hear Gabi from the other side of the door talking to Alexi.
“Hey, it’s Alexi. Have you heard from Matt? Gabi hasn’t heard from him about tonight.”
He takes his hand out of my panties but pulls my dress up and snaps his towel on my bare thighs. OUCH! I bite my lip, holding in my scream. It hurts like hell and I know it will leave a mark.
“You did good, Sophie. Now get the fuck outta here before I do something else.”
I open the door and give Gabi a look of gratitude before walking quickly into the apartment building. My picture is still safely tucked into my hair and I am conscious of keeping my head up as I take the steps up to the front door.
After stashing the picture in my room, I practically jog down the hall with a towel and robe to shower. I need to wash off Felix’s nasty hands.
The hot water stings on my skin where he slapped me and I feel tears escape. I know it will leave a mark—I can already feel the welt forming.
Returning to this place is more difficult than I thought. How easily I succumb to the shame and self-loathing. It is suffocating.
I want to surrender to the sob that is forming in my chest but can’t. I have to pull myself together. I am nearing the end of this nightmare. Soon, I will be back with James. Gabi and Lily will be safe-and-sound and I will get to meet my Aunt Patti.
First things first. I need to talk with Gabi. Walking down the hall, freshly sanitized from Felix’s nasty paws, I feel rejuvenated.
“Gabi?” I push the door open and she is not there. My heart sinks. Is she still down there with Felix? Oh, I hope that her saving me didn’t result in her own punishment.
“Yeah. In here.” I hear her whisper from across the hall. Thank goodness.
“Hey, Gabi. I have so much to tell you. Where do I start? First things first. Thank you.”
She gives me a wink, “No problem, E. I’ve got your back.”
“Well, Gabi, I have yours now. We are getting out of here. I just need your help first.”
I pull out the picture tucked behind the peeling wall paper and show it to her.
“Do you recognize her? Her name is Lily.”
“Why do you have this? What are you involved in?” She’s all attitude and she folds her arms and raises a brow.
Watching her do this makes me laugh. “Oh, Gabi, I love your spirit. Don’t worry about me.”
“Girl, you are into some crazy shit with this prince charming, right?”
Giving Gabi too much information could endanger her more. I will tell her everything when we see James. That is if the plan to get Gabi and I out of here works.
Pausing for a quick second I form my question carefully.
“Do you recognize this girl? She works for Chase Polski. She is here in Portland—has been here about five years now.”
I don’t say anything else and wait for her response. Watching her study Lily’s picture I see a flash of recognition on her face.
“Okay, so what if I do know who she is? You need to tell me more. Give it up, Eva.”
Gabi can be stubborn when she wants to be but I know that I can’t give in. The less she knows, the better. Now that I think of it, not just for her sake, but for everyone involved.
“Do you know where she is?” Nervously my voice cracks at the end of the question. Gabi, please know where to find Lily. She is my only hope.
Gabi has street smarts. She has been here since she was 14 years old after living on her own for two years prior.
She has connections and knows how to work it to keep herself safe. If it wasn’t for Gabi taking me under her wing and showing me how to navigate this nightmare I would have ended up with some disease and hooked on drugs.
If anyone knows where Lily is, it is Gabi. I wait for her response and cross my fingers.
“Actually, I think so. If she is working for Chase then she is probably in one of his drug houses on Killingworth.”
“Why do you think that?”
“Well, if she is part of Chase’s drug smuggling group, and she’s only been here for about five years, then the timing would fit.”
“You pretty sure? Like 50/50 or hundred percent sure?” My fingers are still crossed as I use my hands to gesture as I talk.
“Shh! Eva. I know that you are excited, but keep your voice down and stop crossing your fingers like that. Tell me what this is about.”
“I asked first, Gabi.” I uncross my fingers and cup my hands around my mouth like I am yelling, but the words come out as a whisper instead.
“Fine. Well, I am about as certain as I can get,” as she raises her eyebrow at me with attitude. “It was about four years ago when Chase came back from Mexico. Started running the drugs here in Portland.”
“Thank you, Gabi! How did you know about Chase?”
“There was a girl here that was used to work with Chase before she came here to the Parish. She was quickly moved downstairs to be a street hooker.”
“Oh. Were you friends?�
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“Yeah. She was a cool kid. I heard that she overdosed a couple of years back. It sucks but it’s better than living that life. Working the streets is tough, I know.”
“Sorry, Gabi.” I give her a big hug and we sit embracing in silence. In this place, the only comfort that I have found is in our friendship. I would have never forgiven myself if I didn’t come back to get her.
“My turn. What in the hell is going on with you, Eva?”
“Gabi, I can’t tell you yet. I am hoping that soon you will get your answers.”
Wanting to tell her everything is tough. We share all of our secrets but my gut is telling me not to divulge too much. We just need to get through this.
Imagining James reading my note that I left on his mirror with my lipstick breaks my heart. I am sure he is pissed.
I can’t wait to talk to him and make him understand I had to do this. I just hope that in doing this—I didn’t lose him.
Scenarios play out in my head of him telling me that I betrayed him by leaving and that it’s over between us. Similar scenes haunt my thoughts as I lay on my bed after talking with Gabi. I told her that I need to get some rest after staying up all night with James. She didn’t dig any further and retreated back to her room. Now I am alone and I can’t stop worrying about this mess.
What if James doesn’t love me anymore after I left him? What if Lily isn’t there? What if Lily is not there and James blames me for not finding her? What if Gabi and I are stuck here forever, or worse, what if we get caught?
These thoughts plague me. With my stomach in knots I try and relax thinking about it all working out.
I picture James and I together living happily ever after. We go on trips and explore the world together. I get to visit my dad’s grave finally and have him meet James. I can show James where we lived and cook him and Dobbs a traditional Polish dinner with my mom’s amazing recipes.
I see Gabi free from this nightmare. We often talk about what we would do if we got out of here and she always went back to about getting a salon of her own.
I can imagine Lily living at her brother’s house, recovering lost time and memories. She and I become fast friends and we hang out, act like normal girls, and go to Gabi’s salon to get our hair done.
My daydreams make me even more determined. I am going to make this work. James will understand. He loves me. I refuse to doubt that again.
I close my eyes and remember last night. He is the most amazing man. I have never felt the way I did with anyone else. I think about his bed and how his spicy scent filled my senses when I wore his shirt last night. It makes me feel safe and sleepy and I drift off into a deep slumber.
I wake to Alexi standing over me. “Wake up, Sofa. Time to make some more money. Get the fuck up and get ready. You have an hour.”
My eyes snap open and I know that this is it. It is coming down to tonight. We are going to get out of here. For good.
“Okay, Alexi. Thanks.” I am nice as pie to him knowing that I soon will never have to deal with him again. Never have to hear him call me Sofa again.
“Uh huh. Whatever.” He grunts and walks out of the room.
I need to see if Gabi is going with us tonight. I hope that James took the hint and asked for her, too. We talked about her night but I don’t know if he connected the dots.
“Gabi, are you going with me tonight?” I am wringing my hands nervously and I notice the grim look on her face.
“Eva, you are not going to see James tonight. Felix is surprising James and just sending me alone. I think that your plan backfired. What did you tell him?” Gabi looks miserable as she tells me this.
My heart has stopped and I have lost all feeling. If I am not seeing James tonight, where am I going? Oh shit.
“Earth to Eva. What happened?” Gabi is insistent.
“My plan was for us both to see James tonight so I told Felix that he mentioned he would like to have two girls next time and that he liked Latino girls.”
“Well, sweetie, it didn’t work. I am so sorry. I overheard that you are seeing some big-shot from New York.” Gabi shakes her head and gives a low whistle.
“Oh.” It is about all I can manage to say.
I hold back my tears and think of how good this is for Gabi. She will be safe now. At least she is getting out of here. That helps me recover from my disappointment but only slightly.
The thought of seeing another man tonight and not being with James chills me to the bone. The thought of being with a strange man has always been tough but now... Eva! You stupid, stupid girl!
I will betray him more than ever now. Breaking my word and coming back to help find Lily would have been forgivable, but this...I don’t think so. I am ruined. At least there will be two happy endings. James will find Lily and Gabi will be free.
“It’s okay. Please tell James that I am sorry and tell him what you know about Lily. I love you, Gabi. Thank you for everything. Can you pass him a note for me?”
“Sure, anything for you girl. I love you too.” She laughs lightly and doesn’t understand that soon she will be free.
I give her a quick hug and go back into my room and flop on the bed. I have got to hold myself together. I will end up making this worse for myself if I don’t.
Sitting down I grab a magazine and find a page that I can write on.
James,
I am so sorry that I am writing this note instead of seeing you. I know that you must be angry with me. Please forgive me. I couldn’t see you in pain and I know that finding Lily will bring you such joy and happiness. After 10 years of searching for her, you will finally find her.
Gabi is my best friend in the whole world. I had to come back for her. My plans didn’t work out and now she is coming to see you while they send me elsewhere.
Know that I never meant to leave you like this. My plan was to get information from Gabi and bring her with me to you to help you find Lily.
She knows the area Lily is in and the different houses you can search. I know you, Gabi, and Dobbs will bring Lily home. This knowledge brings me peace.
Please keep Gabi safe for me. I don’t want her coming back to this hell. She deserves better.
I don’t know what will happen to me once Gabi and Lily escape so that is why I am writing this good-bye letter. I think my fate is sealed now but I can’t look back with regrets. My heart is happy knowing Lily and Gabi are safe.
Know you own my heart and soul completely. Nothing can take away my memories and love for you.
Tell Gabi that she needs to open her beauty salon and help her to get started. She is an extension of me so please take care of her.
Again, I am so sorry this didn’t work out as I had planned. I love you more than anything.
XOXO, Your Eva
I fold up the note with tears streaming down my face and walk across to Gabi. Fingers trembling, I hand it to her.
“Please give this to James. It’s personal so don’t read it, okay?”
Gabi looks at me with affection, trying to cheer me up, saying, “Sure, my friend, don’t cry. It will all work out, Eva. I am so sorry.”
She takes the note but keeps hold of my hand, squeezing it tight. “ I doubt anything will happen if he is so in love with you,” she says, smiling wryly, “He will probably be pissed.”
Although I know Gabi means well, I shake my hand free and say, bluntly, “Yeah. Sure. Bye. Thanks for everything.” She looks startled, and I soften and give her a hug and then have to peel myself off of her.
I know that it is the last time that I will ever see her. The pain is intolerable.
I turn back into my room to get ready and to try to pull myself together.
The last thing I hear from her as she walks down the hall is, “See ya later, alligator.”
I know that she is trying to cheer me up but it doesn’t work.
“After while crocodile,” I whisper under my breath.
Saying my farewell feels like the last nail in my coffin and
I know this can’t be it.
I cannot survive without Gabi. I cannot live without James.
What am I doing? I need to get out of here. But how?
I am meeting this new guy at the Nines Hotel—not so far from James at The Benson. It’s time to make my move.
It is time to bet big and go all-in.
Finding Eva (Sophia Noire Series) Page 7