by Jami Wagner
Chapter Twenty-four
Kelsey
I wake up to the sound of a machine beeping next to my head. I’m glad the noise is soft because I have a killer headache. My eyes flutter as I attempt to open them. Large windows to the right of my bed fill the room with sunlight, and it takes a moment for my eyes to adjust. There’s a round table in the far corner under the window that has flowers filling the entire surface. Sara is sitting in the blue chair next to the table, her arms wrapped around her legs as she hugs them close to her chest, her head buried behind them.
The bed squeaks as I try to push myself into a seated position. I give up quickly and grab the remote next to my bed. I always wanted to use one of these. I just didn’t want to be admitted to do it. Sara lifts her head and squints at the light until she sees me and moves to stand next to my bed.
“You’re awake.” She smiles at me. “The doctors thought you would wake up again last night, but you just kept sleeping. I was getting worried.”
“Did you stay here all night?”
“Yeah, Logan called me.” She looks down at her watch. “It’s a little after seven now. I should probably go let someone know you’re awake and call your parents,” she says and leaves the room.
How long have I been in here? I remembering falling, but I don’t remember coming here. Sara returns followed by a nurse who looks like she isn’t much older than us, with bleached blonde hair pulled into a bun and wearing pale blue scrubs.
“Hi there,” she says. “How are you feeling?”
“Tired but I feel good.”
“That’s good news. You suffered a mild concussion when you bumped your head, but things are looking better. It looks like you were quite exhausted. We’ve just been waiting for you to wake up so we can run a few tests and send you home. I’ll let the doctor know you’re awake. Can I get you anything in the meantime?”
I shake my head to let her know I’m fine. When really I’m not fine because I know what conversation Sara wants to have and I’m not ready to have it. I thought I knew what I was going to do about the baby, but now – after what I heard – I don’t know much of anything anymore. The nurse closes the door behind her and, with one leg bent on the bed and the other hanging to the floor, Sara takes a seat to face me.
“I know things probably seem really unbalanced right now, but I think you should still tell Ethan what’s going on.”
“I don’t want to talk to Ethan.” Yes, I’m mad at him. I’m angrier than I’ve ever been in my whole life. I want to scream at him, hurt him the way he hurt me. I don’t want to share the news that not twenty-four hours ago made me the happiest and most scared person on earth. He doesn’t deserve to be happy too. He used me.
Sara releases a heavy sigh. “Look, Kels, I’m mad at him too, alright? He’s been up to some super-shady behavior, and I’m not going to forgive him easily for it, but he has the right to know.”
I don’t have time to argue with her before the nurse returns. She has a clipboard in her hand and she’s writing something down.
“Okay, Kelsey, I just need to ask you a few more questions before we run those tests.” A knock on the room’s door stops her mid-sentence and we all turn to see who it is.
Ethan’s standing in the doorway, wearing the same clothes he had on yesterday and his hair is a mess. His eyes are glazed and red, and his face has a slight stubble. His entire appearance looks exhausted. Good. He looks how I feel.
“Excuse me, sir, visiting hours haven’t started yet. Only family is allowed right now,” the nurse says sweetly to him.
“I’m her cousin,” he says, pointing in my direction. Sara’s sitting next to me and since he wasn’t specific, the nurse assumes he is talking about me. She nods and he steps into the room, moving cautiously around the bed to stand on my other side. I don’t have the energy to argue with anyone right now. He can stay, but I’m not talking to him.
“Alright, Ms. Brian, is there any medication you’re taking or any medical concerns we need to know about before we start?” the nurse asks.
Damn it. I should have asked him to leave.
I drop my chin to my chest and take a deep breath. I have to say it. I have to tell her the truth. Any one of those tests could harm me or the baby.
“I’m pregnant,” I blurt out and the room fills with silence. My eyes instantly search for Ethan’s and I watch as his face crumbles.
That’s the only look I need to see to be reminded that this entire thing between us has been a sham. A tear slips by, but I control the full waterworks because the one piece keeping me strong now is this baby.
Ethan
Pregnant.
I swallow hard as I lean against the wall next to Kelsey’s bed. Kelsey’s pregnant. With my baby. I take a couple of concentrated breaths before I look up at her. Her gaze is pointing down to her hands where she holds them laced in her lap. I see the tears running down her cheeks and her chest as it moves slowly with each breath she takes. My heart breaks as the nurse looks between Kelsey and me before she quietly excuses herself from the room.
“Why didn’t you tell me?” I step toward her.
Kelsey swallows but doesn’t look up.
“Ethan, you should probably leave for a bit. Give everyone some time to process this.” Sara is standing in front of me, speaking quietly. I force myself to look at her. Leave? She can’t be serious. Kelsey and I have a lot to talk about. How can she not see this? I just found out I’m going to be a father, and she wants me to leave.
“I’m not going anywhere,” I say firmly and take a step around her toward Kelsey. Sara grabs my arm, and I snap my head to look her in the eye. What doesn’t she understand?
“Ethan, please,” she pleads. I stare at her for a moment then look back to Kelsey. She’s watching us as the tears continue to spill from her eyes.
“Is this what you want, for me to leave?” I ask her. She keeps her red, swollen eyes locked on mine for what feels like the longest moment of my life and then nods.
I want to yell. I want to hit something or even slam her door as I go, but I don’t. I don’t say anything as I leave her room. My heart feels like she just gripped it and squeezed as hard she could.
I haven’t cried in a long time. I’m a man and we don’t cry. I step into the elevator and the doors close in front of me. The elevator is filled with silence, giving my mind more power to yell and scream at me for everything I have done wrong. I want to cry. Cry for the way my heart feels. I want to cry because Kelsey’s in pain because of me. She’s pregnant because of me. She looks terrified because of me. And now she doesn’t want anything to do with me, and I want to cry because I just lost the best thing that ever happened to me and I don’t know how to fix it.
The one thing I do know I need to do is get my father out of my life. And when I get home to find him parked in my driveway. The anger building inside of me urges me to punch his teeth out.
He opens his door, standing to glare at me. “I sent you here for one thing. Look at the mess you made.”
“You need to leave.”
“I’m not going anywhere until I get—”
“Get the fuck off my driveway and out of my life!” I yell. His head jerks back as he stares at me.
“Excuse me? I’ve done nothing but give your spoiled, ungrateful ass everything you have today. You have no right to speak to me that way.”
“I don’t want anything from you, except for you to leave. Take it all. The truck, the house, the bike. I don’t care. The one person who means anything to me is lying in a hospital bed with my unborn child, and she wouldn’t be there if I hadn’t wanted to be accepted as your son so goddamn bad. None of that matters to me now. You don’t matter to me. Just leave.”
“Oh that’s brilliant, Ethan. Add to your mess by knocking up the—”
I step toward him, fists clenched at my sides. “Leave! Get the fuck out of here. If I have to say it again, I will hit you and won’t stop until someone drags you away from me.”
His eyes glance at my hands before he points at me.
“You are not welcome in my home, ever again.”
I throw my hands up as he gets in his car and backs away.
I will gladly never see that man again. If I have any chance of redeeming myself with Kelsey in order for us to have a real family, my father needs to be as far away from me as I can get him.