by Jami Wagner
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I never thought I’d be so excited for a doctor’s appointment. Today I find out if my baby is a boy or girl. My fingers are crossed as I wait not so patiently, hoping he or she is in a position to know for sure. I want to call Ethan to tell him about it and invite him to join me, but I’m scared.
My mind is still going haywire since my brother left. I’m excited for him and his new son. And I hope things work out for him. What he said to me, about not being in his son’s life made sense, but I just don’t know if I have in me to risk being hurt again.
“It’s a girl,” the doctor’s voice distracts me as he runs the tools over my belly and watches the screen. “See right there, she’s bending over for us. No mistaking this one. You’re definitely having a girl.”
Tears form in my eyes. My baby is now my little girl, and there isn’t anyone here to share this moment with.
That’s your own fault, Kelsey.
“We’ll get you a copy so you can share it with your friends and family,” he says, leaving the room. I adjust my shirt over my round belly that’s now extremely noticeable to everyone. I was never hiding it, but there was a time where you couldn’t tell whether I was pregnant or putting on some extra weight.
I walk down the short hallway back to the waiting room to make my next appointment. There’s a man and a woman sitting together, both bent over with their attention on the baby carrier in front of them. The woman laughs and the man kisses her temple. I’ll never have that. I’ll never get to experience what it’s like to be a happy family. I sit down as I wait my turn, but I can’t take my eyes away from this new family.
Ethan hasn’t given up on us. God, he told me he loved me. I know he didn’t say it just because I’m pregnant. The emotion that comes with it went straight to my heart. I was mad then, but right now, I’m thinking clearer.
I shouldn’t have just walked away. I should have given him a chance to explain himself. Just because we can’t get a relationship right the first time, or second, or even third doesn’t mean we can’t make one work in the end.
“Ms. Brian,” the nurse behind the counter calls my name. The new mother gives me a small, sad smile. She must have noticed me watching her and how alone I am.
I give my paper to the nurse, she types a few buttons, and we schedule my next appointment. Another nurse hands me the picture of my baby girl. At the door, I take a final look back at the family. I could have that. I could be happy. It’s clear what I need to do.
I close myself inside my car and pull out my phone. I need to call Sara and find out where Ethan is. I’ve been wrong this whole time and hope it’s not too late for him to take me back.
“Hi, how was it?” Sara answers.
“Do you know where Ethan is?” I ask her instead of answering her question.
“What?”
“Ethan, Sara…where is he?”
I hear her whispering—to who I don’t know, but I have a pretty good guess. She giggles and tells whoever she’s with to stop what they’re doing.
“He’s at home,” she says into the phone with a laugh. “Why do you ask?”
“I need to talk to him. I need to fix everything,” I say and hang up, tossing the phone onto the passenger’s seat as I drive straight for Ethan’s house.
I stand outside his door waiting as patiently as I can. He has to be home. He has to answer this door right now. I’ve made countless mistakes in my life, but having a life without Ethan isn’t even an option anymore. I want it all. And I want it all with him. Please. Please answer the door.
Ethan
I really hope Logan isn’t messing with me. On cue, Kelsey’s car pulls into my driveway. I don’t take my eyes off her as she runs to the door, bundled in a winter coat and pair of jeans. Logan warned me, but Kelsey coming here doesn’t really sink in until I see her.
I stand with my hand over the knob, giving myself a quick pep talk before I open the door. I’m finally coming to terms with the way she wants things. She and I won’t be together and our baby will grow up in separate homes. I remind myself how hard it’s going to be when I see her, when I look into her eyes, and she doesn’t want me back. She doesn’t want us. And I need to stop convincing myself she’ll change her mind.
I turn the knob slowly and open the door. Kelsey looks just as beautiful as any other day I see her. Only this time, her coat is hanging loose at her sides and her belly is poking out toward me.
I swallow hard. Forget what I just said. I’m not giving up.
“Did you mean it?” she asks, not missing a beat.
“Mean what?” I gesture for her to come inside.
“That you loved me.”
I hold her hand before she can walk inside any farther, turning her to face me until her eyes line up with mine.
“Yes.”
“Then how could you hurt me like that?” A tear slips down her check and I brush it away with my thumb.
“I’ve asked myself that question every day since we’ve been apart, and I can’t come up with any other explanation other than I spent so much time willing you to trust me that I failed to trust myself or to trust that you would understand. I feared your reaction. Losing you terrified me, and in the end, no matter what choice I made, I was wrong.”
More tears drip off her cheek as she sniffles.
“But you trust me now?”
I nod.
“I was wrong, too, about everything,” she says as she steps forward and reaches for my hand. “I love you and I want this. I want us.”
“I want us, too,” I say, kissing her forehead and wrapping my arms around her. “Promise me that next time something bad happens— even though I hope it never does, but just in case— promise me we talk, we tell each other everything. No secrets and no lies. It’s us, all in or nothing.”
“I promise,” she says without hesitation before kissing me. I pull her close and feel a flutter against my stomach. She giggles, breaking the kiss, looking down to her stomach.
“She must be as excited as I am right now.”
She.
She grabs my hand, pushing my fingers against the side of her belly. The flutter happens again, and I swallow back the tear working its way out. Kelsey swings her purse around and pulls out a small photo in front of me.
“Is this our—?”
“Daughter, yes, it is,” she finishes.
Her eyes are bright and watering as they look into mine. Everything that’s happened leading to this moment doesn’t matter anymore. Everything I want is standing right in front of me. This time, it’s going to be forever.
Epilogue
Six Months Later…
Kelsey
I sit in one of chairs at the patio table in Sara’s parents’ backyard. It’s her twenty-third birthday and her parents invited everyone they know to her party, everyone except Ethan’s father. No one has made amends with him, not even Ethan. I don’t think anyone cares. The only thing Ethan is still trying to mend is his relationship with his brothers. They’ve promised to visit soon, but I’m okay with waiting a few years.
Laugher surrounds me and I take it all in. I have a feeling they’re celebrating something besides Sara’s birthday and are going to announce something big since they also invited their own friends, but it’s yet to happen. My money is on the new bar her father bought in Colorado. I’m not supposed to know about it, but I bet anything that’s his gift to her.
Sara is patiently getting her picture taken over and over, giving her best smile each time. “You’d think she is some kind of celebrity,” Ethan chuckles next to me as Clara coos in my arms. I smile as he leans over to kiss my cheek. It still amazes me how lucky I am to have someone like him in my life.
We eloped the week before Clara was born because I wanted to have the same last name as all my children, but we still plan on having a big wedding. Ethan’s just as excited as I am for the future. I couldn’t ask for a better husband or father for our daughter.
“She wasn
’t gone that long. It’s not like she’s some world traveler now. Mrs. Mulligan has been following her all afternoon asking questions. Doesn’t she know other people missed her, too?” Logan says, taking another pull off his beer.
After Ethan and I got back together, Sara left for another trip and Logan has been the most upset over it. I give Ethan a quick glance and try to hide my smile before he sits foreword, resting his elbows on his knees.
“She’s been back for weeks. Three actually, since she came back the day Clara was born.” Logan points to the small blessing in my arms then glances back to Sara.
“She probably hasn’t seen Mrs. Mulligan, or Mrs. Mulligan assumes she’s already shared these stories with everyone else,” I say.
Logan lets out a frustrated growl and gets up. “Or Mrs. Mulligan is still just a nosey neighbor. I’m getting another beer—do you want one?” he asks, looking at Ethan.
“No thanks. As long as Kelsey isn’t drinking, I’m not drinking,” he says, reaching his arms around me and Clara, kissing my shoulder.
Logan watches us a moment. He takes a breath, swallows, and nods his head. He gives us a half-smile that quickly fades at the sound of Sara’s laughter, and he storms into the house. That man has got it bad.
My mother takes Clara from me, covering her in grandma kisses. Surprisingly, both she and my father have made the effort to see Clara every day. It helps that I now live across the street from them. My father has also been acting the most fatherly to me in the last few months that he ever has. Mom’s convinced it’s because he finally accepts that I’m a grown woman now. She’s probably right. I’ve let it go because I don’t want Clara to grow up without her grandfather just because of our past.
I take this opportunity of my mother watching Clara to get some alone time with Ethan. I lace my fingers with his as I pull him toward the side of the house. We don’t need to hide our affection anymore, but being sneaky is much more fun.
We quickly make our way around the house, Ethan unwinds his hands from mine, moving them to my waist as he walks behind me. I can feel the warmth of his breath as he’s about to say something into my ear, only he doesn’t. We’re too distracted by the laughter we hear coming from the trees. Ethan pulls me close to the corner of the house as we check to see who it is.
Logan steps around a tree with a wide grin and scans the area before he reaches his arm behind him. I thought he went inside. Small fingers latch onto his and Sara steps into view. She looks at Logan, happier than I have ever seen her, and she kisses him.
I open my mouth to confront them, but nothing comes out because Ethan quickly covers my lips with his and pulls me against his body. We hold on tightly to each other as we kiss passionately on the side of the house—in the same exact spot where our story started.
Life will never turn out the way we plan for it. You never expect that a moment you once thought ruined everything is only the beginning or that the worst moments are actually the best. I’ve shared both the good and bad with Ethan and never once did I think I would stand in this spot with him again.
But it’s true: Our happily ever after story started with just one kiss.
Thank You
THANK YOU for reading Just One Kiss, the first in my new Black Alcove series. I hope you enjoyed it. Keep an eye out for the second in the series, the story of Sara and Logan.
Acknowledgments
I want to thank everyone who has supported me on this new journey. You’ve all been there for me in ways I will never be able to repay you.
It’s hard to believe that this story is actually out in the world for everyone to read. I’ve spent a lot of time working on it and I’m beyond happy to finally share it.
Holly, Mom, and Dad – I love you. You are the best family a girl could ask for. Every phase of writing a book is stressful and none of you ever stopped believing in me.
Dana Volney – You have listened to me day after day. You let me vent to you when I was stressed. You motivated me when I felt lost. You’ve read my work and you never gave up on me. Thank you for being a truly amazing friend.
Mary Billiter – The day I stepped into your class was the best decision I’ve ever made. You taught me everything and more. Without you and your support, I would not be reaching my goals. You are an amazing person who I am honored to call my friend.
To the ladies in my Wednesday night writing class – You all rock! Your feedback and advice has been wonderful, and I will never forget any of you. See you soon.
Mallori Roth and Shira Ferwerda – Thank you for being my beta readers on this novel and for helping me make this book stronger. You’re awesome.
Grant Rogers – I can’t thank you enough for being in my life. You understand how much this means to me, and your support never goes unnoticed.
Julie Sturgeon – Holy freaking amazing editing. You took the stress off and wanted nothing more than to help me develop this story into something I could be proud of. You did it and I couldn’t be more thankful.
Christa at Paper and Sage Design – Your covers are amazing and your talent is beautiful. Thank you for making this easy and enjoyable for me.
Allison Linhart, Alyssa Navarro, Kate Maxwell, Megan Phillips, and Trisha Butcher – Thank you for being there and for letting me go on and on about the books I write and the books I read. I love that you all have taken such an interest in this part of my life and I love having you to share these moments with.
And finally, thank you to the readers, bloggers, and social media fans that have read Just One Kiss and are spreading the word. Your support is the best thing I could ask for.
First Chapter of Date in the Dark
Read on for the first chapter of
Date in the Dark by Jami Wagner