by Kip Nelson
Tristan looked at her, and didn't see the same girl he saw before. No longer did he tingle all over just by looking at her. No longer did he see an angelic glow around her. She was just a girl. Tristan looked at her with cold, unforgiving eyes. When he spoke, his voice was raspy with emotion.
“I accept your apology, but the two of us never can be friends again,” he said.
As he turned away his eyes were stinging with tears. He heard a small choking sob come from behind him, but he told himself he didn't care. He was alone now and that was alright. Nobody ever would have that kind of power over him again, and he never would be hurt that much again. Love was something that had burned him and he wasn't ever going to indulge it. He was going to be like a stone. Yet, even as he told himself this, his eyes watered and he had to force himself not to let the tears run down his cheeks.
CHAPTER SIXTEEN
A FEW DAYS went by and some of the patrols started returning. Mack was watching out for them and went with Grace to see what they had brought back. Many other members of New Haven were curious as well. The patrols often were met with something akin to a parade when they returned, making them feel like celebrities. While everyone valued their own roles in New Haven, and saw themselves as an important cog in the machinery, almost everyone agreed that those who went out on patrols had the most important job. Without them, New Haven would not have the supplies it needed to flourish. This meant that when the patrols came back with food, they were cheered and treated with adulation, but when they had nothing to show for their efforts, a gloom spread throughout the settlement. People were forced to wonder if they could make it through the winter, and the future beyond that.
It was up to Mack and Grace to keep their spirits up. It was natural for people to get scared, but they tried to remind everyone to keep a positive mindset. Instead of focusing on what people didn't get, they told people to think instead of everything other patrols found, and that there still was much of the city left to explore. Somewhat surprisingly, food was not met with the biggest cheer. That was reserved for new clothes. Whenever this happened, the clothes were arranged in a big pile and people searched through them to find new things to wear. Most people wore the same things every day, and were glad for the change. It made for an odd sight, however, as people doing menial tasks while were wearing clothes that would have cost around a hundred dollars. But it gave people an opportunity to own things they never could have afforded otherwise.
The mentality of New Haven was far different than that of the city as it had been before the EMP had caused the downfall of civilization. Back then, humans had been in a possessive mindset, keeping things for themselves. A measure of success was based on looking at how many things a person owned, but that model simply didn't work now. Sharing was a necessity, as food would go bad if it wasn't eaten quickly enough. There also was no guarantee the patrols who came back with something always would find a bountiful supply of goods. It was better to let everyone have a share of everything, then everyone benefited.
It made Mack wonder what the old world would have been like had they adopted such a mindset. However, it would have been hard to implement because the idea of owning things was so ingrained into the collective consciousness. People only had been able to adapt to this new model because survival depended on it. If they ever got to the point where there was an abundance of resources again, they all would have to watch themselves to ensure they did not fall into the trappings of the old society. They did not want to be doomed to repeating the same mistakes of those who went before them.
Overall, the patrols that returned had enough food to settle the concerns of the people in New Haven. The food in the Lost Children's territory still was there, although there were more people in New Haven than the children, so the food wasn't going to last as long. Hank talked with the people in charge of the supplies. They made a comprehensive inventory of everything that came in, and then made a list of how to ration out everything. Mealtimes were mostly a communal thing. Everyone was allotted three meals a day, with extra snacks such as fruit and things available to those who wanted them. People took their meals at different times. Some preferred to keep to themselves in their own homes, but mostly people ate together.
There was a real sense of familiarity spreading through the settlement, which pleased Mack immensely. His plan to mix up the patrols had worked as well. When the first few had begun to return, he noticed how they had changed since they first had left. Then, they had been strangers forced to work together, but now they were old friends, teasing each other and slapping each other’s backs. It was good to see.
When they returned, they were taken to the office and gave a report of what they had found, of how the area looked, and if it seemed as though there would be any more resources there, or if it was barren. Then Grace or Mack would mark the map to show where they had explored, and the patrols would be given new assignments. After a day's rest back in the settlement, they would be sent out again. The system was working well so far, and already the map of the city was being marked, showing their progress. There were still areas far away that had yet to be heard from. Mack hoped that by the time they had explored all of the city they would have enough of a set-up that New Haven could be self-sufficient.
But the patrols didn't only talk about the state of the resources in the city, they also spoke of the general area. Mack wanted to know if there were any other camps around. Knowledge was power, and at the moment, when it came to the city, they were powerless. However, a few of the patrols started telling him disconcerting things, things that made him gaze out at the city with a concerned look in his eyes. The concrete jungle seemed so quiet, but there was much out there that would come and find them eventually, he was sure of that. The patrols said similar things, each of them with fear in their voice, but to their credit they were not too afraid to go out on patrol again. Mack was proud of them for that. Their accounts all were quite similar to the first report he had heard, given by the third patrol to come back.
“We thought there were going to be other people there. There were a lot of footprints and signs of life. We did what you said and approached, but when we couldn't hear anything we investigated. We found only dead bodies littered around the place, and their camps had been ransacked. At first, we just thought it was a normal kind of attack, but when we looked closer there were some bodies that had claw marks on them, as though an animal had attacked. Whatever it was, it must have been a huge animal. We haven't seen any sign of a large group, but they've gotta be out there somewhere,” they said.
Mack replied that he had seen similar things before. He told them they should be careful, and if they got any hint that these people were nearby they were to return to the settlement immediately, no matter what. After their reports, Mack marked off where they had seen these fallen camps, and soon a pattern emerged. Mack was relieved since, if they followed this pattern, it would not lead them to New Haven. But whoever or whatever this group was, he didn't know anything about them and couldn't predict how they were going to act. It wouldn't be surprising for them to start learning about New Haven, and if that happened they were sure to come there. Mack had to be ready. New Haven had defended itself once, and it would do so again. He wanted it to be a modern-day Troy, being able to withstand almost a decade of an enemy’s siege. But he needed time to get that implemented, and time was their greatest enemy.
To prepare Mack and Grace organized a group of people to go outside and form a blockade of cars. They pushed the cars into position, which meant that nobody could storm the entrance of New Haven. It had taken a lot of effort since they had to push the cars by hand. Many of them were powered by electronics, which now were useless. Mack knew that somewhere out in the world there were cars still able to be driven, at least until they ran out of gas. They moved the cars as much as possible outside New Haven, on all the roads that split through the settlement. When it was over, they at least were satisfied that they were going to make life harder for an
y large force who tried to come in.
After it was over, everyone who had taken part was sweaty and tired, but felt as though they had done a good piece of work. It was perhaps something they should have done a while ago, but everyone had been focused on creating the walls and making sure the inside of New Haven was as good as it could be. The cars also had formed part of the barrier, but now other materials had been used to make that stronger, they were able to use the cars to block the roads. It hopefully would give them an advantage and allow a few more moments for them to get ready.
Mack also made sure to post lookouts at key points across the walls. It was a lonely job, but one that was vital in case anyone approached New Haven, not even anyone hostile. It was possible that survivors would come upon them, but the lookouts would have to make sure they did not pose a threat before they would be allowed into New Haven. Once it was done, Mack felt safer, and he wiped the sweat from his brow. Grace was beside him, his loyal and able deputy. He trusted her completely.
“Is it worth us sending word to the mental hospital and the settlement in the forest to see if they want to join? Winter is going to be harder for them since they're out in the forest, without the same shelter as us, and we have room for them.”
Mack liked that she still thought about the people their lives had touched over the course of this journey. Sometimes, with everything going on, it was easy to forget about those in the past. Although he was curious about how their old friends, were faring he didn't think it was the best idea, though.
“Perhaps in the future,” he said, “but for now we need everyone working together to make sure New Haven is safe. We can't afford to let anyone leave long enough to trek that far out. Anyway, I'm sure the doctors and patients in the mental hospital are in the best place for them. They were set up for years. As for the people in the forest settlement, well, they were a resourceful bunch and they've been doing this for much longer than we have. They've known winter is coming, and I'm sure they're prepared for it. They'll be okay, just as we will,” he said, and flashed her a reassuring smile. After this, they returned into New Haven.
Although they had to be careful with rationing food, Mack was aware of the importance of morale. He wanted to ensure there were community events that brought people together. So, since they had a good store of food, he checked with Hank if they could have another feast. Hank checked the inventory and made a list of what food they could spare. Then later in the evening, people were brought together for a celebration of the future. People were in a joyous mood and Mack was glad to see everyone was happy. Yet, he couldn't help noticing Tristan still was detached from the community. Mack imagined he was at the feast only because Maggie told him he had to attend.
Mack mingled with his friends and others as the food was passed around, and everyone had a full belly afterwards, except for perhaps Saul, who seemed to have an unending appetite. He was standing close to Alison, and Mack noticed the two of them sneaking off before the festivities were over. Mack smirked, and silently raised a toast to Saul. The fire in the middle of the town square crackled brightly and people had fallen into a comfortable mood, enjoying each other’s company. Then Anna caught everyone's attention.
“I'm sure most, if not all, of you have heard about the little group I've put together to preserve the human spirit. We've only been meeting for a few days, but I'm proud to say New Haven has some really talented people. We've all been feeling so inspired. We thought we'd do some readings and perform some of the things we've created. Please forgive us if they seem rough because, as I said, we've only had a short time to work on them, but hopefully you'll enjoy them!”
Then she surrendered the stage to other members of her group. Some people read poems they wrote that summed up the sorrow and loneliness people felt. Mack noticed how others grew closer together as they were reminded of some of the hard feelings they had experienced. Others read through short stories about their experiences, and others nodded as they had experienced similar things. Sometimes a group of people acted out a short scene or two from a play, but the one that Mack most enjoyed was a comedy sketch that poked fun at Mack and the others, and reduced the audience to tears. It had been a long time since people had had a good laugh.
“Thank you for doing this, the people really needed it,” Mack told his wife.
“I'm just glad it's worked out,” she said.
Then she noticed there was something on his mind, as they always was. She asked him about it as she wrapped an arm around his neck.
“I'm just worried about the future. There are still threats in the city, and I want this place to stay safe.”
She kissed him on the cheek. “If there are threats, then we'll deal with them when they come. For now, just try to enjoy yourself, and look at what you've built.”
Mack looked around at all the happy faces coming together to share these times, and he smiled. New Haven was blossoming. The food stores were healthy. People had their roles and Mack couldn't have been happier. So, why did he have such a nagging feeling that it all was going to come apart? Perhaps it was just because he had been trained always to be suspicious, but he was sure it was something more. He only stopped thinking about it when Anna pulled him away from the feast and the lingering embers of the fire to return to their bed, where they made love.
CHAPTER SEVENTEEN
THE WORK on the barricades and blockades was an ongoing thing. New Haven had a lot of moving parts, and it was important to keep the place clean to prevent people from feeling like they lived in squalor. Some houses still had not been explored to their fullest extent, and the same was true of some stores that had been caught in the New Haven area. So, people chipped in and helped do that. The physical labor was extensive. It was fortunate there was plenty of food in the stores as people were beginning to get strong appetites.
As Mack looked at the barriers he also looked at the area outside New Haven and thought to himself that one day they could expand New Haven to encompass more of the preexisting city. He hoped that eventually they would welcome more people into the fold and that they would need to expand, although he doubted the city ever would be its own full entity again. While everyone who was free helped with the barriers, others went about their business, like Freddie, who had his hands full trying to help as many people as he could.
In his opinion, everyone needed therapy. It was good to talk to a qualified professional about issues, and even just things that lingered on the mind, but sadly there still was something of a stigma when it came to going to see a counselor. It was as if it was a sign of weakness that you had to go talk to someone about your problems. In some ways, Freddie resented Hank. People were more willing to go to a religious leader to speak about confidential matters rather than himself. But he tried not to be jealous and focused on trying to do the best for the people who did come to see him and welcomed his help.
When the Lost Children had been accepted into the settlement and reunited with their parents, Freddie had offered to help them through the process, as it was going to be tough on both parties. The children were not the same as what their parents remembered, and it would take time for them to adjust to the new situation. So far, things seemed to be going well. Freddie was making the rounds to check in on them, just in case they needed to chat.
There had been some difficulties, especially with the younger kids since they weren't used to being disciplined. Peter had let them run rampant without any thought of consequences. So, they acted out and screamed loudly, throwing tantrums, which only made the parents think they were doing something wrong. In their minds, their children should have been as glad to see them as they were to have them back. But Freddie had to remind them that the kids had been through a lot, too, and it was going to take time to remind them what it was like to have parents. He gave them some exercises to work on, and that seemed to help. The more he checked on them, the more progress they had made, and they seemed to be in better spirits. It pleased Freddie to see them so happy, al
though it filled his heart with a little sadness as he thought about his own life and how lonely he was.
Although Freddie specialized in human emotion, there was something about him that made him never fully able to connect with other people. There had been relationships, but never one that felt like the relationship. Despite all the new people he was meeting in New Haven, there hadn't been anyone he felt like embarking on a romantic relationship with. In some ways, it felt as though he still was in a state of limbo. Maggie had Tristan, Hank was getting close to Mindy, and now even Saul was getting close to Alison. Mack had his wife back, and Luis and Grace were together. Almost everyone he had been traveling with had paired up.
While Freddie tried not to compare his own life to that of other people, it still made him feel a little strange for all that he was missing. He did want to be close with someone, but it didn't seem as though it was going to happen any time soon. There was also a sense of detachment as well. Although he talked to many people, it was always as counselor to patient, which meant they weren't technically friends. Sometimes Freddie felt entirely lonely, but it wasn't a strange feeling for him. It just struck him that so much had changed since the world ended, but so much had remained the same.
Even the city still was familiar. He had lived there his entire life, although his neighborhood had been on the other side of the city. Perhaps one day he would be able to make it back there, although he wasn't that bothered about it either way. Life moved on, and he had to move on with it. He moved from family to family, talking with them about their problems. Some still were struggling, especially those who had lost spouses and had to explain that to the children who now were reunited with them. Sometimes he spoke with them as a group, and other times he spoke to the parents alone. He always made sure to have some time with the children alone, though, because there were some things they wanted to talk about that they couldn't share with their parents.