by Rue Allyn
“You must clean and rebandage this wound every day, Mrs. O’Malley. If you cannot do that, please come to the dispensary before work. I or one of the volunteers will help you. If you get an infection, you could lose the arm, and then you would lose your job. Do you understand?”
“Yas, doctor. I’ll be sure t’ keep it clean and dry just like ye tol’ me.”
James waited impatiently while the woman gathered her things and left.
“Where is she?”
“Good day to you, too, James. I assume you refer to Miss Alden?” Hugh turned away, poured water into a bowl and washed his hands.
“I do.” Talking to the man’s back was a bit disconcerting, but as long as information was forthcoming, James would talk to a stone.
“I have not seen her, but your sister stopped by an hour ago to volunteer to help in the dispensary every afternoon. She invited me to join her and Mae for lunch at the school. So I assume Mae is there.” The doctor emptied the bowl, then proceeded to wash it and rewash his hands.
“School?”
“Has she not told you?”
“Has who not told me what?”
Picking up a towel from a shelf, Kerry turned as he dried the bowl and his hands before putting the bowl away and tossing the towel into a basket James assumed was intended to hold dirty linens.
“Has Mae not told you about her plans to open a school in the building across the street?”
“No, she did not choose to confide in me.” He clenched his teeth to keep from growling his frustration with his entirely too independent lioness. How could she possibly fund the purchase of a building and upkeep of a school? Her stipend was already stretched to the limit each month.
“I confess,” continued Kerry, “I was surprised myself to hear she would be supervising renovations at the building when I explicitly told her to rest.”
“No more surprised than I was to find her away from home, since she said she understood the consequences of not obeying your instructions.”
Kerry grinned. “I’ve found Mae Alden amazingly quick to adjust her meanings to suit her intentions. She may have meant something entirely different than you thought when stating her understanding of the consequences.”
She may have, James agreed. He would clarify that point when he saw her. “You said this school building is across the street?”
“Yes, the former Eldstein brewery.”
“She’s setting up a school in a brewery?”
Kerry’s grin broadened in a most irritating manner.
“Oh, I doubt the place will look anything like a brewery by the time Mae is done with renovations.”
“Hmm. Would you care to walk over with me?” James asked, out of good manners. He’d prefer to confront Mae alone, to save her embarrassment. He could get rid of Lalie by simply requesting privacy.
“Sadly, no.” Kerry tilted his head and peered at the window behind James’s shoulder. “I see another patient arriving and must tend him before I can close the dispensary for lunch.”
“Then I will leave you. I’ve spent far too much time on this goose chase.” He left the mill and crossed the street, taking the steps to the open door of the old building in pairs.
His sister stood directing some workmen in the center hallway.
“Where is Mae?”
“James.” Lalie turned to him, smiling. “What a pleasant surprise. Mae will be delighted to see you.”
He would almost forgive Mae anything to see his sister this happy once more. “I wouldn’t be too certain of that.”
“Tosh. Of course she’ll be happy. She’s been out of sorts all morning because I won’t let her get up and direct the workmen herself.”
“You won’t allow her to get up?”
“Her spirits were quite low when I visited earlier. She explained about her promise to you and Hugh after yesterday’s incident. How horrifying for her to see a man shot before her eyes. But all’s well, since Hugh says the man will recover. Anyway, Mae told me she was unhappy to have to delay progress on this school because of her promises. I commiserated, and we came upon the idea of having me direct the work while she rested in the room that will become the schoolmaster’s office. For comfort, we ordered a few items brought from the manse, and voila, here we are.”
“So where is this schoolmaster’s office?”
“I’ll take you.” She led him down the full length of the hall lined with closed rooms and opened the door to a chamber at the back of the building. “I’ve brought my brother to see you, Mae.”
He stepped into a large high-ceilinged space. She reclined on a chaise that sat beside a low table flanked with two chairs. A blanket had fallen to the floor. On her lap was a traveling desk, and papers littered one side of the surface in a sloppy stack. Sunlight streamed in through a long window, the beams falling on Mae’s golden hair. She lifted her head. “James?”
The sight of her made his heart stutter.
“Yes, indeed. He’s the only brother I have. I’ll leave you to bring him up to date on our activities. I want to supervise installation of the curtain rods. Then I shall order our luncheon served and tell the workers they may stop for an hour to eat their own midday meals.”
The door closed behind him, and he approached his wayward Mae.
“This is how you rest?”
“I swear to you I’ve not moved an inch from this chaise since we arrived.”
“Hmm. You’re treading very close to the edge, Mae.”
She widened her eyes and blinked at him. “The edge of what?”
“The edge of my temper.” He removed the lap desk then sat beside her on the chaise. It was improper in the extreme, but she’d pushed him as far as he would go.
A pretty blush bloomed on her cheeks, and all the fury left him. How could he even pretend anger when all he wanted was to love her? “Forgive me. I get angry when you neglect yourself for the sake of others and I forget myself. I would never hurt you.”
He took her hand and toyed with her fingers as he waited for her to decide if he was forgiven. He wanted to sweep her into his arms and never let her go.
She gazed at him for a long while. “Thank you for that re-assurance. You can be quite intimidating when you choose.”
“Am I forgiven?” The scent of violets and Mae filled his head.
“Yes. But you should remove yourself to a more appropriate distance.”
“May I kiss you first?”
He held his breath while she considered. “I’d like that.”
He leaned in to grasp her shoulders, brought her close and kissed her as if it were his last act on earth.
• • •
Excitement trembled through Mae at the first touch of his lips. His palm at her back and fingers in her hair, the pressure of her breasts and thighs against his body sparked molten heat that pooled in her core and sent fire racing along every nerve and sinew.
This was no gentle persuasion but a storming of her lonely senses. Surrendering to mindless desire, she lifted her hands, pulled him closer and reclined against the slope of the chaise. He followed her down, shifting his hard length to lie nestled between her thighs. She gloried in the sweet tension invading her body when his hand swept across her breasts, then settled to tease her aching nipples. The sensations thrilled her with unbearable temptation. She thrust her tongue into his mouth seeking more of his flavor, needing greater closeness. This was passion, and she was starved for it. She’d feared intense emotion for so long that having now yielded, she would not retreat. She wanted more. Needed more.
She groaned a plea when James pulled his mouth away. He trailed his hands down, releasing the buttons of her shirt waist. She watched in eager fascination as he pulled on her chemise, exposing her breasts. Then she moaned her delight when he trailed wet, suckling kisses from chin to throat to aureole. Restless need rocked her hips and arched her back. His lips closed on her nipple, his hands wandered lower. Her skin tightened, torturous pleasure leading her deeper into
the search for unknown desire. Satisfaction eluded her, left her empty and desperate.
Her hands moved on him, seeking she knew not what until she found the hot, taut skin beneath his shirt. But even that was not enough. His tongue played with pleasure on her breasts, creating delight so dizzying, her fingers clutched him for fear she would spin away and miss a moment of the buffeting sensations. That desperate emptiness spread from her center. Her thighs clenched, trying to stop the ache. His body and his hands kept her open.
She felt his fingers probe the damp opening of her drawers. She gasped at the unaccustomed touch. “James?”
“Shh. Let me, please. I can help.”
Help? How could he possibly know the emptiness and longing she felt? He sucked hard on her breast, and his palm pressed against her wet heat. The world dimmed, sensation wracked her body. Then the pressure eased, and his fingers soothed her. His tongue lapped at her breast, bathing her nipples, encouraging that longing.
“Please.” Need rasped her voice. She wanted more of that sweet invasion.
“Sssh. In a moment.” His fingers continued to explore, drawing moisture and wonder with every deft caress, only to flutter away to sooth the tension in her thighs.
“No. Now!” She wriggled her hips trying to shift his fingers back where she knew they belonged. Where she needed them. Where she needed him.
He smiled against the breast he laved, then raised his head to look at her. Still he held his fingers back. “Let me show you what passion can be. Please tell me you want that too?”
Fearful and eager at the same time, she locked her gaze with his. “Yes.”
His chest swelled against her breasts, and passion fired in his eyes. He kissed her again, and his hand eased upward along the flesh of her thighs.
His mouth drew on her breast, and her back arched as pleasure curled along her nerves and longing coiled in her belly.
Her pounding heart ached as much as her body, twisting with some unnamed emotion. Restless with dissatisfaction, she tossed her head then grasped his cheeks, lifting his face to hers and kissed him deeply, desperately.
“James, I need…”
“You need this.”
Finally that glorious pressure returned, his finger pushed within her, teasing her body and swelling her heart. She’d thought it impossible to want more, but she could not resist the demand of her body to move on that stiff length probing her softness. Still yearning, her hands drifted to his buttocks, squeezing. He withdrew, and she moaned a protest, sighed her pleasure when he returned to thrust first one then a second finger within her. Her body bucked and his thumb pressed between her folds.
Delight shocked her, and she pled. “More.”
“With pleasure.” He thrust with his fingers and swept her with his thumb creating a tantalizing rhythm that built and overwhelmed her with every panting breath.
The tension spiraled to an unbearable sweetness until the sensation burst over and within, along her skin and beneath as his name keened from her lips. The universe spun away. Only James’s arms remained. Only his lips anchored her in place, whispering praise in her ear, telling her how glorious she was, how she pleased him. Only his body was solid and real.
Long moments later, she became aware of James kissing her face and murmuring apologies.
“Mae, forgive me.”
Suffering from the most pleasant exhaustion, she made a herculean effort and fixed her gaze on his. “Why?”
He stilled and lifted his head. “I lost control. You were so sweet, so eager. I should have resisted, should have kept you safe but could not.”
Her brow wrinkled. Something in what he said was wrong, but she was too dazzled from pleasure to figure it out. So she smiled at him. “I’m glad you could not resist. Hence, I shall not forgive you.”
“But…”
Placing a finger against his lips, she silenced him. “No, I regret nothing.”
“We must marry now. You know that.” His voice became stern.
“Don’t…” Drifting and dazed, Mae could not gather herself enough to think clearly.
“James. What in the world are you doing to Mae?” a female voice intruded.
CHAPTER TEN
“Lie still and don’t speak,” James whispered.
Mae couldn’t have risen if she tried. Lassitude imprisoned her limbs.
She slitted her eyelids but kept her gaze on James.
He lifted the blanket from the floor and draped it over her, covering the evidence of their indiscretion all while shielding her with his body then faced Lalie.
“Sssh. She’s exhausted and has fallen asleep.”
Mae watched his hand snake backward and twitch the last fold into place over her rumpled skirts.
The squeak of wheels and noise of light steps could only be Lalie pushing a tea cart into the room. Mae risked lifting a lid to peek at her friend.
James’s sister looked at him with raised brows. “Sleeping? That’s a new name for it. I suppose crooning a lullaby disordered your clothes.”
He stood. His back to Lalie, he arranged his clothing, then turned to his sister.
In the doorway behind her, Mae caught a glimpse of Hugh Kerry glowering. “I had not thought you one to importune a defenseless woman, Collins.”
Defenseless? Me? Is that what they all think? That I’m helpless and weak? She had been. If she were honest, she still had moments when she doubted her strengths, but if she allowed her friends to coddle her, she’d never gain the independence and confidence that she longed for.
“You may ask her yourself if I’ve offended her in any way. However, please wait until she wakes.” With as much nonchalance as he could muster, he tucked his shirt back inside his trousers.
“I will certainly wait to speak with Mae until she is… more herself,” stated Hugh. “However, if Lalie will excuse us, you and I should talk now. I believe the room next door is empty.”
James’s shoulders stiffened. “You are awfully free with my sister’s name, Kerry. Perhaps I should interrogate you about your intentions.”
“I’ll meet you next door.” Hugh nodded, turned on his heel and left.
Lalie rolled her eyes, walked over to her brother, and with a hand to his shoulder, urged him aside. She continued to push him away from the chaise. “Mae, Hugh, and I are good friends with a common goal, of course we dispense with the formalities. Now, please go have your manly conversation, but stop this ridiculous posturing. I need a few moments alone with Mae.”
Mae quickly shuttered her eyes and waited. She heard the door close on James before she felt Lalie nudge her arm. “They’re gone. You can stop pretending to sleep.”
Mae cautiously lifted one eyelid while straightening her skirts and buttoning her blouse beneath the blanket.
Lalie sat in a chair directly across the table from the chaise. She poured lemonade into two sturdy mugs.
Mae removed the blanket, swung her now covered legs to the floor and pulled herself upright. She took the mug Lalie held out, then sipped while deciding how best to handle the situation. Her inability to lie well was one of the reasons her sisters had helped her hide from Grandfather. It was also a major reason why she had not gone searching for Kiera with Edith. To find their sister, Edith would need to live a lie. Mae could never have done that successfully. So lying was out. Could she obscure the truth? Did she want to? She had no regrets over her intimacy with James. Truth be told, she wanted to do it again. She’d no idea passion could be so beautiful, so liberating.
“You know, Mae, my brother would make an excellent husband,” Lalie summed up the situation bluntly.
“I don’t need a husband.” To give herself time to think, Mae took a sip of lemonade.
Lalie smiled. “I must beg to differ. James is so taken with you, he forgot himself in what is essentially a public place, and you allowed him.”
Mae didn’t blame James. He’d sought her permission, and she’d given it—would gladly do so again. His touch, his consider
ation of her every need, his surprising delight in giving her pleasure was a heady mixture that left her heart and body clamoring for more. And with that thought she realized that Lalie had a point. Could the pleasures of the marriage bed compensate for the absence of love and the loss of independence? She wanted to sample more of what James had given her, but was it worth the price. “Y-your brother is very persuasive.”
Lalie nodded. “He can be, and if I imagined he persuaded you against your wishes, I would do all in my power to prevent him from touching or seeing you again. However, you were a willing participant, yes?”
The question was rhetorical.
Unable to admit the truth aloud, Mae nodded. She had been willing, but the experience had left her swimming in confusion. Longing to be back in James’s arms danced a jig with her reluctance to wed. She could satisfy every physical need, if she accepted his proposal. Passion, money, comfort, security for herself, her sisters, and the mill workers, all could be hers with a single word. The temptation to sell her soul for an easy life was great. Too great. Since avoiding James was impossible, she would have to find the fortitude to resist her own inclinations.
“At least you aren’t deceiving yourself about your feelings. However, you are deceiving yourself if you imagine you don’t need a husband.”
“Why?” Mae tried to keep her voice level and relaxed. Inside she was close to panic. When she’d hidden from Grandfather and the world, she’d been able to escape her own emotions. The braver she became, the harder it was to deny her emotions. Her desire for James was much stronger than she’d realized and threatened to undermine her efforts to take charge of her life. “No one who might talk about the events here today knows of any indiscretion.”
“True, Hugh and I would never gossip about it. I am uncertain how he regards James, but Hugh is very fond of you. I, of course, love you and James both and admit I would happily call you sister.”
Mae bent her head over her lemonade to hide her expression. She returned Lalie’s affection. In all honesty, her feelings for James were warmer than was wise. And that was why she couldn’t allow Lalie to see those emotions.