by Caitlin Sara
I will show them exactly what they need to see. Nodding her head, Ara sat back in her seat, unable to shake the thought that this was probably how the conversations between Shirley and Congressman Bugia started also. Shirley and Raina went through the same formalities before taking their places.
Her ears continued to hum with the familiar tune of blood rushing to her head. She was sure by now her makeup looked as if a preschooler had applied it with finger paint as she gently dabbed her forehead with the supplied Kleenex.
“For when you cry,” the set dresser had told her reassuringly. Ara supposed everyone cried; some with false tears, others genuine, but surely everyone cried.
Shirley’s hand touched Ara’s and again she returned to reality, awkwardly realizing that she had missed the entire opening segment. Repeating herself in her concerned voice, Shirley prompted Ara to tell the viewers about Brad. Ara gripped the arm of the chair tightly, using it as a stress ball to focus her nervous attention to.
“My husband was everything to me.” Her eyes focused on Barry. He’d made her promise to nail the interview, and she’d already slipped up. Turning her attention to Shirley, she said, “He could make you laugh while washing the dishes and turn a flop of a fundraising event into a success, all without loosening his tie. Loving him was easy.”
Lane withdrew back into the off-camera darkness as she continued, “Everyone enjoyed being around him. He was one of those extraordinary men who made you love yourself more when around him. Brad had a way of making you feel special.” She made sure to speak slowly, hoping to pass off her lies as the truth.
“Sounds like the perfect gentleman!” Shirley said, nodding. “But you’ve learned a little more about your husband since his passing, correct?”
“No matter what I learned, I know I loved him very deeply, and he loved me. We were lucky to have each other, even if things weren’t perfect in our marriage. Brad never acted without thinking, he made every move in life with intention. I am sure there was a reason for the things he did.”
“Until that dreadful night,” Shirley led.
“Yes, until that terrible night.”
“I think most agree there seems to be some big holes in the story of what happened. Is there anything you can tell us here tonight to help address those?”
Ara nodded and searched beyond the cameras for any signal from Barry, unfortunately, thanks to the lighting, she would have to continue on her own.
“I wish I could make better sense of it myself, honestly. It all seemed to happen so fast. We were out celebrating a recent victory Brad had at work. I had recently found out that I was pregnant and thought it would the perfect time to tell him, but when we got to the restaurant Brad said he had a surprise of his own for me later that night. I felt guilty bursting his bubble and decided it would be best to wait to tell him my news.”
“This is why you waited in the car, correct? Because he had a surprise?”
“Yes. Brad told me to wait for ten minutes or so before coming upstairs. It was cold, and I was anxious in the car. I knew he would be happy with the news of becoming a father, but I couldn’t think of what he wanted to surprise me with. I couldn’t help feeling like it was a trap, like somehow instinctively I knew something bad was happening.” Pausing, Ara took a single breath before continuing. “It wasn’t that weird that I took the stairs, I did it sometimes if I was stressed from a day at work or something. I found it gave me time to unwind. From my understanding, there are no cameras that would capture me in the stairs, but I believe there is footage of me walking from that direction to our door and there is also the pedometer on my phone.”
“Even so, Ara, that doesn’t necessarily explain what happened once you entered the apartment,” Shirley said, slightly stirring the pot.
“When I entered the apartment my whole world collapsed around me. Brad was on the floor, and there was so much blood. I remember seeing the gun on the floor and the blood coming from his chest. I knew he was dead.”
“You would never learn what his surprise was, and he would never know he was going to be a father.”
Ara felt the well-timed tears build. “No, I will never know.”
After finishing her version of the events, Shirley cut to the chase, saying, “Things were not as perfect as they appeared in his life. Someone wanted him dead.”
“To this day, I can’t imagine someone who would want to hurt him, hurt us, in that manner.”
“I have to note here that you said ‘hurt us.’”
“Yes, us. My life ended that night with his. He would never know the news I was going to share or that we were going to be starting a family.”
Raina reached over to Ara and squeezed her arm, which Ara returned with a simple smile. Shirley turned her attention to Raina, a now second-time guest on the show.
“Raina, you knew Ara and Brad better than most. Is there any scenario you could even consider where Ara had something to do with her husband’s death?”
Ara swallowed the lump building in her throat.
“You didn’t need to know them well to know that it wasn’t an option. Their relationship was the kind you hoped for a best friend and sister. Their dedication to each other was inspiring.”
“It’s been pretty well documented that Brad was not faithful. Most would not feel inspired by that type of betrayal in something as sacred as marriage.”
Ara pulled her hand away from Raina and adjusted her seating. “The world wants to believe we had secrets, but we did not. Brad and I had an honest understanding of where we both were in our lives and who we were spending time with. Even if it was unconventional.”
Pausing, Ara turned to the camera. The lights caught a shimmering trickle of a tear building in the corner of her eye.
“While I’m not expecting everyone to understand our situation, I do think people can relate to it in some way. I was pregnant and we were finally going to have a family, something that Brad wanted more than any pleasures he was seeking outside of our marriage. I know Brad was not faithful, but our love ran much deeper than any physical indiscretion he had. When two people are as open as we were with each other, forgiveness and love always win.”
What she was saying may not have been entirely true, but it also was not a complete and utter lie. In many ways, Ara had come to terms with who Brad was, after his death. Prior to that—what she’d actually known about or been comfortable with before his death—was another story.
Raina’s breezy appearance had shifted. Her face now bore a forced grin as Ara and Shirley continued with the racy details of Brad’s extramarital affairs. Raina seemed to be having trouble swallowing, looking increasingly uncomfortable next to an outwardly calm Ara.
It didn’t go unnoticed by the professionals. Shirley asked Raina if everything was OK.
Raina sputtered, “It is just crushing to learn details like this about someone like Brad, someone I trusted to care for my sister. Every time I hear something he did to her, I could . . .”
This time, Ara placed her hand on Raina’s knee. “Yes. Betrayal can be a tough pill to swallow.” She then pulled Raina into her, holding her close, but in a way that ensured Raina’s expression was left exposed to the camera. She looked as if she might throw up.
After releasing Raina, Ara said, “I am lucky I have such a great support system of friends. Without them, I am not sure how I could have survived after suffering such a blow,” Ara continued.
A silence hushed the studio. Finally, the executive producer cleared her throat, moving the interview along. A half hour later the team said they had plenty for the segment and politely assured Ara and Barry that they would adhere to the preaddressed agreement when editing. The team assured Barry no statements would be used out of order, or in incomplete fragments to create a different story. Shirley thanked the women before exiting. From across the studio, Ara saw Lane and nodded at him. Raina called her name as Ara walked away from the platform.
“I’m sorry, Ara,” she said.
“For what?”
“I guess I didn’t know all of the details about Brad’s affairs. It’s just . . . so sad for you.”
“Sad,” Ara repeated. ”That is one way to look at it.”
Raina shook her head in agreement as they shared a lips-only smile.
CHAPTER 40
At first, Ara hadn't even wanted to watch the completed interview, certain it would be too difficult, but Lane finally persuaded her it would be good to see how the world was now going to see her.
He picked up their favorite, pizza and red wine, and they picnicked on the living room floor. Lane had learned patience was not a trait Ara carried well, so he persuaded her to wait long enough so they would be able to fast forward through the DVR recording, avoiding any breaks or commercials. He wanted to get through this as quickly as possible. When the interview started, he offered up sweet compliments on the insignificant matters to ease the growing apprehension steaming through Ara's pores.
Ara appeared very natural on screen. Then there it was. As she’d eloquently meandered through Brad's infidelities, Lane noticed Raina appeared queasy and off-kilter. The TV crew hadn’t missed it either; they had a knack for finding the drama. And in this case, drama was an understatement. Ara was casting herself free of the burden that came with being a woman scorned, while Raina appeared flush with guilt.
It was in that precise moment when Ara turned the interview that he knew she knew about Raina and Brad. Lane had tried to come up with a way to ask Ara what she knew about them ever since Maro and Ameno had conveniently leaked the secret, but if she hadn’t known, he didn’t want to be the one to tell her. Why Raina, Brad? Why dig the knife even deeper into Ara? Could Brad have wanted to strike Ara where it would cause the most damage?
Now the burning questions he had for his best friend could never be answered and at this point he didn’t mind it that way. Some deeds were not deserving of an explanation. Especially from a word slinger like Brad.
On screen, the sisters were in what could have been perceived as a warm embrace. But the cameraman zoomed in on Raina's face, highlighting her tense jawbone. Now, sitting with pretzel legs and two hands gripping her wine glass, Ara was glued to the screen.
Not only did Ara know what Raina had done, she had made her move against her by manipulating the interview and leaving the world tidbits of betrayal to run with. Instead of revealing all the eggs in her basket for all to see, she allowed just a glimpse of the truth, letting the rumors explode like wild fire on social media until it engulfed all parties involved. Burning them to a crisp. Certainly, the rumors could be no worse than the entirety of the truth.
Lane’s body ticked with a reaction the world would share. He wanted to cover her eyes, guard her from her sister and husband’s betrayal, but instead he kissed her right cheek, determined to bring a sense of peace to her broken heart.
After an extended breath, Ara wrapped both arms around Lane, resting her right ear on his chest. His heart nearly beating out of his chest from the pure adrenaline pumping through his veins.
“Oscar-worthy performance, Ara Hopkins.”
Letting go of his torso, she pushed the hair from her shoulders.
“I'm so sorry, Ara.”
A single tear broke free and fell from her face, splashing onto her thigh.
“You didn't deserve this, baby, he should have just let you go. Divorced you. Anything would have been better than this.”
“Maybe I do deserve every last bit of this for being so foolish,” she said without breaking her stare, allowing more tears to trace paths through her cheeks.
“I was blind to everything, Lane, because I didn’t want to admit it,” Ara said, “He should have never married me, he was never happy. I deserve all of this because deep down, I knew it wasn’t what he wanted. It was what his father wanted, he’s the one that pushed Brad to check all the boxes: happy wife, home, and life. I knew Brad didn’t want all that, but I didn’t want to accept it. I was insecure, and checking boxes with him was easier than being alone.”
Lane clumsily wiped her tears, as if he could catch each one and put it back. “No. You didn’t. I won't sit back and let them do that to you. You said it yourself: his lies, his sins, that’s what killed him. They all caught up with him. A person can’t get away with living a life that’s a lie forever. The world somehow catches up, but you would have never hurt him, you loved him.”
Ara let her lips linger on her glass, taking a long-drawn sip before saying, “I don’t even know that I did love him anymore, Lane. I thought I did, but I have no idea about anything now.”
Shaking his head, Lane took the glass from her hands and placed it behind her on the end table.
“Just know that I am here now and that I will never hurt you the way he did. Brad was a fool, not you, for believing he was a good man. You wanted so badly to believe in his good side, and I did, too, but as we both know now, that was only a small part of him.”
He scooped her up, trying to undo the damage his friend had bestowed on her life, and laid her back on the fleece set out under them, swept the hair from her face, and kissed her, hard, as if he had something to prove for the both of them.
“You never deserved this to happen to you,” he said, tracing her jawline with the back of his fingers.
Lying behind her, looking over her shoulder, he watched as a transformation took place in Ara, her body relaxing as they finished watching the interview, a change from the overall depression that had hung above Ara like a cloud, to an even deeper sorrow. Looking down, Lane saw a woman who wanted to believe in so much good in the world, and it bothered him to know the people closest to her had not only let her down but had gutted her, leaving her insides exposed. After this interview, everyone would assume that she got burned not only by her husband, but her stepsister, too. It was a play she had to make, but Lane knew she didn’t like it.
CHAPTER 41
For once Ara’s plan played out perfectly: Raina was cast into a cloud of suspicion and the heat would be lifted, slightly, from her. Even if some still thought she did it, now she had a reason most could understand. Not many men would sleep with their wife’s stepsister and friend, but Brad Bugia did.
After the interview, she couldn’t even let Lane touch her, she needed space to process what she had started. Brad’s father and his team were most likely already plotting how to control the damage, scheming how to tuck his son’s sins and shortcomings back into a pretty box. Her own mother finally gave up after she ignored six of her calls. She would deal with Arabelle tomorrow.
Lane finally allowed himself to fall asleep sometime after 2 a.m., and he was breathing shallowly next to her in bed. It was now 6 a.m. and his alarm would be going off any minute for work. Rolling toward him, she put her head on his chest.
“Did you fall asleep at all?” he said as he wrapped both arms around her.
“No.”
She moved back to her side so they were face-to-face. Leaning in, she let Lane kiss her, dragging her hand to just above the elastic of his boxer briefs. He undid her button-down pajama shirt, revealing a bare chest. Now skin to skin, suddenly needing to feel him, their embrace felt desperate but right.
He moved on top of her and kissed her chest, then neck, savoring each. Nibbling slightly at her ear before coming back to her lips.
“Are you OK?”
Ara pushed his now longer dingy blonde hair from his eyes and shook her head yes.
Smiling a knowing, boyish grin, he kissed her, delicately cupping one of her breasts in his hand as she opened her legs, feeling his length pressing into her.
Sex was sex. At least that’s how it had been since her first time when the emotion was stripped from the act in Dan’s office. Sure she always enjoyed it, but she was often left numb from the void of true intention. As Lane moved on top of her, every one of her nerve endings danced with an unfamiliar zest. She wanted him inside her and to feel what could never be said through words. In some form, the se
cret was out. Raina and Brad committed the ultimate betrayal, and knowing that the world would know made letting it go easier. Many times throughout their relationship, she would assure herself that she really did love Brad and that marriages weren’t easy or perfect.
But here with Lane, basking in the early morning sunlight that poured in from the window, she felt something different.
Her hands pushed him deeper into her. She let her entire body release, leading to a feeling of true pleasure. As her body tightened, Lane came before collapsing on top of her leaving each gasping for their breath.
“I love you, Ara.”
Her body trembled slightly as she turned on her side, bringing her knees up to her chest, suddenly feeling vulnerable. After years of keeping everything in, the past forty-eight hours had been a rollercoaster of emotions for her. Curled up in the most innocent of positions, Lane held her.
“Things could get worse before they get better, Lane.”
“I know.”
“If you love me, promise you will be here no matter what.”
Lane rolled over and swung his feet to stand from the bed. Leaning down he kissed her forehead and said, “Promise, promise.”
CHAPTER 42
The banging on the door was relentless. The building’s board would be sending a letter in the next few days complaining of the commotion. God damn prudes.
Dan weaved his way over to answer it, his gut burning from the afterthought of five bourbons on an empty stomach. He was always a lousy drunk but after everything that happened with him and Ara, he’d needed to feel numb. The bourbon a perfect solution. The peephole revealed the last person he wanted to see standing in his hallway. After debating whether to answer, the insistent pounding forced him to unhinge the chain and unbolt the lock.
Raina looked equally as inebriated, maybe more: shaky on her elevator heels, lipstick staining the area under her bottom lip. Her normally cheap debonair look seemed helplessly flawed as she popped her hip out from habit.