Her voice broke. Cracks appeared in the wall around her heart. Suddenly Gideon was too close, though he hadn’t moved.
Gideon took a deep breath, and Sabrina watched in fascination as his chest expanded. “This, your sudden turn here, is coming at me like a freight train.”
His gaze bore into her, and she couldn’t look away if the world suddenly ended.
“Yesterday we couldn’t keep our hands off each other,” he started, his voice still hard. “And today you’re giving me the ‘let’s be friends’ talk? Something doesn’t make sense, and you owe me more of an explanation than what you’re giving me.”
Sabrina nodded. Yes. Yes she did. She owed him honesty. “I realized something last night, Gideon. I realized we don’t match. I thought I could have an affair with you; I thought I could deal with it when the affair was over.”
She shook her head and looked away. She tried to swallow part of the lump in her throat but couldn’t. “But I can’t.”
“Who says it’s going to be over?” he demanded.
“Come on, Gideon,” she said with a bitter laugh. “This, what we have, isn’t an affair for the ages. We’ve worked together very closely for a long time, and that breeds a sexual tension that needed to be broken.”
“So that’s what this was? That’s what this last week was all about?” His voice lowered, and anger seethed out of him. His hands didn’t come out of his pockets, but Sabrina saw them curl into fists. “Scratch an itch?”
“I know how you like a challenge,” she began. “And I had a fantasy.” Sabrina stopped, tripped over the words. She couldn’t continue with that line of lies. “But if this affair goes on too long, it’ll only harm something we both love, genuinely love—the company.”
He nodded once, with a short jerk of his head. “If that’s what you want.”
No. No it wasn’t. Sabrina nodded. “Yes. Yes, it is.” She swallowed and tried to breathe. It seemed so very unimportant when all she could smell was Gideon.
“I’ll be on vacation for a while, a couple weeks. And then Macau. But when I get back,” her voice broke and she cleared her throat. She could do this. Be strong. Say what needed to be said.
“When I get back, I hope we can work together like we always have.”
Oh, that might’ve been the hardest sentence she’d ever uttered.
“Take care, Gideon,” Sabrina added and carefully stepped around him. “And, uh, enjoy the pizza.”
No. That was the hardest sentence she’d ever uttered.
Odds:
0-14 days—100:1
15-30 days—50:1
31-40 days—20:1
41-50 days—15:1
51-55 days—10:1
56-60 days—8:1
64-69 days—6:1
70-80 days—5:1
81-90 days—4:1
91-100 days—2:1
100+ days—1:1
Chapter Fifteen
Sabrina couldn’t seem to shake herself out of the romantic-comedy movie role. She grabbed her bags from the floor by the door and raced out of Gideon’s apartment, and then waited half an eternity for the elevator to get back up to his floor. He hadn’t stopped her.
She was grateful for that. Really she was. Grateful he hadn’t stormed out of his apartment and demanded more of an explanation for her cold heartedness. Her lies. But this scene wasn’t like the one in her apartment where he’d waited outside in the hallway for her to realize her mistake.
This confrontation was it. This talk was their end.
So now she sat in a taxi and cried. The driver had taken one look at her and turned up his music. Sabrina couldn’t blame him.
Either evening traffic had tapered off already or the driver knew a secret route, but they made it to her building in record time. She bet on the latter—the faster to get the crying woman out of his cab.
With her fingers shaking and arms trembling, it took her three tries before she fit her key in the lock and let herself into her apartment building. The elevator ride up was not empty, but Sabrina didn’t bother to make excuses or even make eye contact with the other occupants. When they got off on the first floor, she didn’t know if that was really their floor or if they didn’t want to be around the crazy crier any longer.
She stepped out of the elevator and onto her floor. Sabrina only stopped long enough to stare at Duncan and Audrey’s apartment. But they were still in Chicago visiting Audrey’s family. Eliza was still in the Hamptons. And her apartment was still empty.
Exhausted and emotionally drained, Sabrina desperately wanted to sleep, to curl up on the couch with a blanket and the remote and watch anything but a romantic comedy. With feet that refused to lift off the floor, she continued down the hallway to her own door.
Two tries to open that. She was getting better.
Sabrina dropped her bags on the floor, a move she never normally would’ve made, and closed the door. She leaned against it for several moments, trying to get her energy level up enough to move again.
She’d thought about a shower, but the idea of it made her want to whimper. Instead, she grabbed a couple tissues and wiped her face, blew her nose, and flipped on the kettle for tea.
She’d had enough coffee today to fuel a spaceship.
Just as the kettle whistled, someone knocked on her door. Sabrina froze. Gideon. It had to be Gideon. He’d followed her.
And damn if part of her didn’t do a little jump of joy at that thought.
But she didn’t have the energy for another confrontation. She might tell him the truth. Might spill the entire ridiculous, stupid, insecure reason for her breaking up with him. The knock sounded again.
Swallowing hard, Sabrina moved carefully to the door as if her legs were made of spun glass. Peering through the peephole, she saw not Gideon but Granwood, Duncan’s butler. And he held a tea tray in his hand.
How had he knocked so precisely and still kept hold of the tea tray?
Sabrina opened the door.
“I was wondering if you’d care to join me for a nice cup of tea,” Granwood said in his meticulous butler’s tone. Sabrina blinked. “And perhaps,” he continued, “a bit of sympathy?”
“How did you know?” she asked, her voice hoarse. But she stepped back and let him inside.
Granwood nodded and entered, placing the perfectly set tray on the kitchen counter. “I went to return Mrs. Tyler’s steam mop.”
Sabrina had no idea why Granwood wanted to borrow a steam mop or that he’d even knew Mrs. Tyler enough to borrow anything from her.
“She said you were most distressed,” he added. “She saw you in the elevator.”
“Oh.” She hadn’t even realized who her elevator companions were. “It’s been a trying day,” Sabrina admitted.
“Bit more than trying, my dear, yes?” Granwood said as he prepared her tea just as she liked it. Oh, she loved him. “Is it your young man?”
Sabrina stiffened. She did not want to talk about it. She was drained, shattered, and in no mood to rehash everything that had happened in the last couple of days. Except Granwood was leading her toward the living room and guiding her to the couch. She gratefully sank into the cushions.
“He’s not my young man,” Sabrina heard herself say. “Not anymore.”
“Was this his doing?” he asked very neutrally. “Or yours?”
Sabrina chuckled weakly. Perceptive man, Granwood. No wonder Duncan trusted him. “I chose to end our liaison,” she said slowly, “because it was heading nowhere. Nowhere but to sadness and a deeper heartbreak later.”
Wow. Melodramatic today wasn’t she.
“I did not realize you were a certified clairvoyant!” Granwood commented with that mild British sarcasm he had.
Sabrina glared at him over her teacup but had to laugh. Sighing, she sipped her tea and shrugged. “I don’t need to be a psychic to see this train wreck coming. You met him, you know who he is!”
“He seems like a decent chap,” Granwood interrupted. �
�Your Mr. Marquez reminds me of Lord Thornhill. And Lord Thornhill doesn’t, what’s the Americanism? Lead on women.”
Sabrina stared blindly into her tea as if reading the leaves would, indeed, help her see the future. She had nothing to say to Granwood’s observations.
“You really believe Mr. Marquez is the type of man who would?”
“I don’t know,” she whispered. “I—”
“Have you seen him with many women on his arm?” Granwood continued. “You’ve worked with him a long time, have you not? Have you seen a string of women crying in the offices?”
When was the last time Sabrina had seen a woman Gideon had dated? She’d assumed, months ago when he first asked her to the opera, that a woman had broken his heart. But that wasn’t the case. She narrowed her eyes at her tea, unable to meet Granwood’s gaze. When was the last time she’d seen Gideon with a date?
“No,” Sabrina admitted.
“What’s the real reason, my dear?” Granwood asked in a kindly voice that made Sabrina think of her grandfather. “There has to be something else.”
“We don’t match,” she said decisively. “I went with Gideon to an event the other night, and I realized we don’t match. He’s wealthy and has a good, solid build.” Great build. Fantastic body. Very kissable body she was most certainly not thinking about.
“Handsome,” she continued and tried not to envision his eyes, his mouth. “And we’re in New York City. And I’m 5’4” and too many pounds overweight. That’s not a recipe for a long and loving relationship.”
Granwood set his teacup down on the coffee table with a significant click. “That doesn’t sound like a recipe for a relationship. It’s a healthy cup of respect, a ton of love, a pinch of mystery, and a teaspoon of sugar.” He frowned then shrugged.
Who knew the proper British butler would not only watch Mary Poppins, but be so romantic? Sabrina stared at him.
“But,” he added, “there isn’t an exact dress size requirement for a relationship.”
She had nothing to say to that, and just as she was struggling for a reply, another knock sounded on the door.
Sabrina ignored it. But Granwood automatically rose to answer it.
Cringing, she stopped him. Bad enough she poured her heart out to her best friend’s butler. No need to have him answer her door, too.
“No,” Sabrina said with a smile at the butler. “I’ll answer it.”
She already knew who it was. And if her feet moved slower than normal to answer the knock, she chose not to notice. Granwood stood by the door, his eyebrow raised, but did as she asked and didn’t open it.
With her stomach tied in knots and her fingers trembling just a little, her mind running in circles, Sabrina opened the door to Gideon.
Granwood, bless his ever-proper heart, nodded as he stepped around a surprised Gideon and walked into the hallway. “Mr. Marquez, please enjoy the tea.”
Gideon walked in and shut the door behind him. The click of the latch was like a shot in the awkward silence of the apartment. Sabrina shifted from foot to foot and tried not to look like she was shifting from foot to foot.
She licked her lips and took in a deep breath, but it still hurt. What did one say in this situation—what are you doing here? Or should she take Granwood’s advice?
Honesty. Could she do honesty? This stripped down, baring-her-soul level of honesty?
“Gideon, perhaps—”
Gideon stepped forward and interrupted her. “I’m not here to argue with you or rehash what you’ve already said.” He didn’t touch her, but looked as if he wanted to. Instead, he shoved his hands into his pockets.
“But I’ve made a decision of my own.” His eyes bored into hers, and she was caught. “I know you’ve taken a couple weeks of vacation, and that’s fine. But after, I need you to stay in New York. Not go to Macau.”
She tried to form words, but this threw her. She’d expected an argument. Not this. Was this an argument? It didn’t sound like one. “Gideon, I think staying here would be—”
“You won’t have to worry about me,” he interrupted again. It was getting annoying. “I won’t be stalking you in the office. I’m making you CEO, effective upon your return.”
“What?” she demanded.
This wasn’t arguing. This was insanity.
Gideon held up a hand, not that she had much else to say to his announcement. His verbal bomb. His…his…insanity.
“I think you’re onto something,” he continued. “You’re taking two weeks? I want to take decidedly longer. I think it’s time for me to find adventure away from the office. And what better time than now?”
Sabrina barely heard the words. All she heard was the bitterness. All she saw was the hardness in his eyes, the way his gorgeous mouth thinned as he paused for breath.
“No. Gideon, I don’t want you to do this.” She said it in a rush, afraid he’d interrupt her. Afraid she’d never get the words out.
“This is one thing you don’t have a say over,” he snapped.
Then he drew in a deep breath and rocked back on his heels. His lips pressed together and that hard, dark look continued to pin her to the spot.
“My plan, my desires,” he added in an acidic tone, “have suddenly changed. And I didn’t have a say in the matter.” He nodded as if she’d agreed to something. “Well you don’t have a say in this. Congratulations, Madam CEO.”
Stunned, Sabrina stared, open mouthed, at him. CEO? Was he insane? Where had this come from? Why hadn’t she known about his desire to travel or find adventure or whatever the hell he was now planning to do?
Before she could find her voice, or find a coherent thought, Gideon turned sharply on his heel. He muttered something about Melody forwarding all the details she’d need to take over. His hand was on the door.
She panicked.
Not because she didn’t want to be CEO of Gideon Hotels. Though she didn’t. Because he was leaving.
And oh, God, it was so much harder to watch him walk away than it was for her to walk out of his apartment.
“Are you a chubby chaser?”
That wasn’t what she wanted to ask. No, that was about a far from what she wanted to say as she could get. And yet it was what came out.
Sabrina swallowed as Gideon whirled, his eyes no longer hard and angry, but incredulous. They were surprised and open, and she saw how very much her question had stunned him. His mouth worked silently for a moment before “What?” eventually came out in just as incredulous tone as the look on his face.
“What are you talking about?” he demanded.
Sabrina licked her lips, her fingers playing along the seam of her dress. She cleared her throat but kept his gaze. Um…what was she talking about? She swallowed hard and subtly cleared her throat.
“I’m not your typical girl,” she began. Then her throat closed up.
Why oh why did she have to blurt out her deepest insecurities to Gideon? But he softened, his hands came out of his pockets, and he cupped her shoulders. And oh, God, Sabrina hadn’t realized how much she’d missed his touch until she felt it again.
His sigh of relief sounded as if it started at his toes and worked its way up until his breath brushed against her cheek. “I kept trying to figure out what happened,” he admitted. “I kept going back to Horatio’s party. That was the last time—” He shook his head.
“That woman who bumped into me?” he asked but didn’t expect an answer, which was just as well, as Sabrina hadn’t one. “The only reason I remember her is because I kept going over what happened there. What happened that created this distance I felt from you.”
His fingers brushed her chin and lifted it so she looked directly at him. “Sweetheart, I don’t see any other women. Understand me,” he continued in a firm voice. “I’m not saying I don’t recognize there’s a woman there, and I’m not telling you I’m not dating anyone else. I’m telling you I. Don’t. See. Them. They don’t exist.”
He leaned closer, and she
forgot how to breathe. “I only see you. And I’ve only seen you for a long time. I want every inch of your gorgeous body. I love every inch. Because I love you.”
Oh.
“Gideon,” she managed.
“I’ve known it for a while; I just didn’t know how to get you to see it.” He grinned, and Sabrina felt her knees weaken. Every reinforced wall she’d managed to reconstruct collapsed in one fell swoop.
“Flirting in the office didn’t work. That’s when I came up with this elaborate plan to take you out. No one knows me better—and I know no other woman better—than you.” Gideon’s fingers brushed her cheek, there and gone in a heartbeat. “Except of course for this misconception you have. I’m not going to break your heart, because I don’t want you to feel the way I did a few hours ago.”
“I’m sorry,” she whispered through the tears that clogged her throat. “I never meant—”
“Can we get past this?”
Chapter Sixteen
Sabrina nodded. Get past this? Yes. Oh, yes. There were probably a hundred things to talk about. A thousand things they still needed to discover about each other.
She reached up and kissed him. Wrapped her arms around his shoulders and pulled him close. Talk was overrated. It could wait.
Right now she needed him, simply needed him. Needed to show him how much she loved him and needed to feel how much he loved her. She’d doubted herself and doubted him, and she’d been a fool for it. Thank God she’d realized it and that Gideon hadn’t let her simply walk away.
Her hands grasped the lapels of his jacket and pulled him toward her.
His mouth slid over hers, hard and desperate, and Gideon’s hands settled on her hips to pull her closer. Sabrina shuddered and opened herself to him. She shoved the jacket off his shoulders and let it drop to the floor, her fingers already on the buttons of his shirt. She loosened the tie and tossed it behind her. His shirt soon followed.
Urgency pounded between them. She felt it, the need to feel him close, to feel his body against hers. To show him her words from earlier had been all lies. She wanted him more now than ever.
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