She pressed her hands together between her knees. “What’s going on?”
“I’ve got orders.”
Her eyes blinked rapidly as she stared at him unfocused. “Ohhhhhhhh.”
He’d expected this reaction. She had spent years trying to get Josh to stay put, and here Alex was, leaving.
Cameron perched on the edge of her chair, her hands wringing in her lap. “I guess I’m not surprised. The way the project’s been coming to a head, especially for the past couple of weeks. And the way you responded when the major mentioned it at dinner. I could tell that you would rather be out in the field with your team than just having video conferences.”
“Of course, I would. Those are my buddies and we have each other’s backs. I can’t really do that very well from here.” Dang, he hadn’t meant to be curt. Cameron was the one person that needed to understand. “I’m sorry. That came out wrong. I’m just tired and have a thousand things running through my mind. I joined the Army to fight with a unit. This isn’t a combat assignment, but my need to be with my team is the same. I took the post at Ft. Dunwoody specifically because it’s a non-deployable position, but that doesn’t mean travel doesn’t happen. And when I get orders, I have to go.”
She dropped her gaze to her hands. If she wrung them much more, they would be raw. “I get that. I know sometimes you think I don’t, but I do. I just don’t like it.”
“I know you don’t. As excited as I am to get out with my unit, I hate the idea of leaving Mariana… and you… behind. Even for barely more than a week.”
She nibbled at her bottom lip. She eventually shook her head, still not meeting his gaze. But there were tears. They weren’t falling, but they were close. “I don’t know if I can do this. I knew the day I met you that you were in the Army. That’s why I tried to stay away. I tried, I argued, but you just kept coming back. Now you’re leaving. Just like Josh.”
“Not like Josh. I’m not searching for my next peak to climb. And I’m certainly not spending months at a time away from my family.” He winced. That was exactly what a future deployment could require. “This is just a short business trip. And it’s not a combat assignment. I’ll also be in touch with both Mariana and you, if you want me to be.”
“But you want to go.”
“Of course, I do. This is my duty. Those are my friends out there. And more importantly, this is my system that they are implementing. Without me. I can’t be as effective here at this point. I know how you feel about my being in the Army and the potential for being deployed. But this is who I am and always have been. And if you don’t understand that about me, then maybe this isn’t the right relationship for either of us.”
“Maybe it isn’t. I don’t want Lizzie to have to deal with another absentee father figure in her life.”
Cameron’s words stabbed him in the heart. He didn’t want to upset Lizzie any more than he did Mariana. But he’d talked to Mariana. While she didn’t like the fact he was leaving, she understood. Could he do the same with Lizzie? “I can have a conversation with her before I leave tomorrow. Explain the situation to her—”
Cameron leapt to her feet. “No, I’ll talk to my daughter. Not you.”
He heard the emphasis in her words. Lizzie was not his concern. “If that’s what you think is best.”
“I do. We were fine before we met you, and we’ll be fine after you’re gone.”
“I’m only going for eleven days.”
Cameron shoved her hands on her hips. “This time. But what about the next time? I don’t think I can deal with months and months of not knowing where you are or what you’re doing.”
He stood. “It’s not like that.” Alex longed to explain, but Cameron had stopped listening. Nothing he could say would matter now.
“This is for the best. This time away will be a clean break for us. “
What if he didn’t want a clean break? What if he didn’t want a break at all? If she loved him, which he doubted or she wouldn’t have thrown him overboard so easily, then she could have accepted what being in the Army meant for a family.
Cameron’s chest heaved. What if he reached out and wrapped his arms around her? Would she welcome it? Doubtful. She’d made it clear that he no longer had the right to do that.
The fact that he needed her arms around him didn’t matter, did it?
They stared at each other for a minute, neither saying anything.
He guessed that was it. He nodded and stepped out the front door.
* * *
Lizzie gently closed her bedroom door so Mom wouldn’t hear and then dashed across her room. She swiped at the tears on her face and grabbed her phone.
She pressed a few buttons and a minute later, Mariana answered.
“It’s Lizzie. Your dad was just here. Everything is messed up.” She threw herself on the bed and buried her face in her pillow.
“What happened?” Mariana’s frantic whisper carried through the phone.
“Your dad is going overseas and they had a fight and I think they broke up.” Lizzie sniffled and brushed away the tears that fell down her cheeks.
“He told me today he’s leaving for a short trip. Why did they break up? We can’t let them do this. If only my Dad wasn’t going on this trip.”
“How can we stop it? That’s his job.” Lizzie had done everything she could to get her Mom and Alex together. Now she and Mariana would never be sisters.
“I don’t know, but if he stays home, he and your mom can talk and they won’t break up.”
“But how do we keep him here?” Lizzie was completely out of ideas.
The phone was quiet for a minute before Mariana’s voice echoed in her ear. “I’ve got it. Here’s what I’m gonna do.”
Mariana rattled off her idea and Lizzie’s tears dried up. This was perfect. Operation Sickout to the rescue.
Chapter Ten
Mariana checked the hall. Daddy was busy packing in his room. Hopefully he wouldn’t hear the microwave. “Come on, come on.” Why was it taking so long? She didn’t have much time before they had to leave. She had to do this. She just had to.
Finally, the microwave beeped and she snatched the water bottle out. She pressed it to her forehead and snuck down the hall. She peeked in Daddy’s room where he was still rolling his clothes and shoving them in his bag. Perfect.
She hurried into her room and grabbed the pink highlighter off her nightstand. A few splotches on her face and arms should be enough. As soon as she was done, she climbed in the covers and held the water bottle to her forehead and cheeks. Daddy just had to believe that she was sick.
* * *
Alex rolled another T-shirt and shoved it into the corner of his duffel. Roll, shove. Roll, shove. The rhythm was satisfying. Hopefully by the time he was done packing, he’d have worked out his frustration. He wasn’t sure if he was mad at Cameron or himself.
No, he was sure. He was mad at himself. He’d replayed the conversation with Cameron over five times in his head and had come to the same conclusion.
He’d handled their entire relationship completely wrong. He knew Cameron was afraid since she’d been burned by Josh. Alex should have been discussing this possibility with her all along. They weren’t teenagers, fumbling their way through first love; they were mature adults. If only he’d asked her to take their relationship more seriously before, then she wouldn’t have been blindsided when the reality occurred. But he didn’t have time to fix it now and didn’t know how to anyway. Not yet. But he would.
He checked his phone. Forty-five minutes until he had to leave for Joint Base Andrews. Then it was a nine hour C5 flight to Ramstein with an indeterminate layover before he’d climb on a C17 bound for Syria. One hopefully short hop in a Blackhawk later and he should be at the military installation.
And all that time, Mariana would be with Mrs. Rodriguez. Thankfully, she had agreed to let Mariana stay while he was gone. Mariana could handle this. She was ten years old, and she looked up to the older w
oman like a grandmother.
It would be okay.
If only saying it would make it so. His gut tightened at the thought of someone other than him tucking her into bed each night. Video calls just wouldn’t be the same thing. Not that he didn’t trust Mrs. Rodriguez, but leaving Mariana with Cameron would have felt like, well, family.
He pulled up one of the selfies he’d taken of him and Cameron that night on the mall. Before the police had shown up.
They looked happy. Correction—they had been happy.
They could still be if things hadn’t gone south.
He hung his head. That wasn’t fair of him. It took a special kind of person to be mar-, uh involved with a soldier. While he thought Cameron had the strength to handle it, that didn’t mean she wanted to. His opinion of what she should do with her life didn’t matter.
But for the first time, he was considering whether the Army was the right long-term goal for him. He loved his work, but being a single parent was hard. This trip proved that not even a non-deployment position was guaranteed in the military.
Could he really do that? Could he change who he was at his core?
No sense worrying about that right now. Time to leave. He grabbed his bags and stepped into the hall. “Mariana… it’s time to go.”
No answer. And no sound of movement anywhere in the house.
“Mariana, come on.” He pushed open her door, expecting to find her picking out books and clothes for her stay at Mrs. Rodriguez’s. Instead, she was curled in a ball on her bed, her back to the door and the covers tucked up to her chin. “I know you don’t want me to leave, but it’s only eleven days.”
He brushed her hair back from her eyes. Her skin was warm beneath his fingertips.
“Turn over and look at me, honey.”
Mariana groaned as she rolled over. She raised her droopy eyes to him. Her cheeks were flushed and she had pink splotches on her skin. He pressed the back of his hand to her forehead. Was she sick? This was all that he needed right now.
“I don’t feel good, Daddy.” Mariana’s voice was weak and strained. He pulled his daughter into his arms and squeezed her tight. He was out of his league here. It wasn’t like he had a normal job where he could call in sick. When the Army called, you answered.
He brushed his hand down Mariana’s back. “Lay here another minute, honey, while I call Mrs. Rodriguez.”
He stepped into the living room and tapped on his phone screen. This was not good. “Mrs. Rodriguez, I’m so glad I caught you. I was just getting ready to bring Mariana over and, uh, well, she isn’t feeling well.”
“Oh, my poor dear. What’s going on with her?”
He rattled off Mariana’s symptoms.
Mrs. Rodriguez didn’t respond.
“Mrs. Rodriguez?”
“I’m so sorry to hear Mariana isn’t feeling well, but it’s a health code issue for me to have her here if she’s contagious. I’m afraid I won’t be able to watch her.”
What now? This wasn’t Mrs. Rodriguez’s problem, it was his. “I understand. Thanks so much, Mrs. Rodriguez.”
“I’m so sorry, Mr. Sanchez. Please tell Mariana I hope she feels better soon.”
He clicked off and squeezed the phone in his fist. What was he supposed to do now? He was due to get on a plane in—he flipped his wrist and checked his watch—ninety minutes.
Wait a minute, had Mrs. Rodriguez said contagious? He and Mariana had spent a lot of time with Cameron and Lizzie recently. Almost every day. No matter how angry Cameron was with him, he owed it to her to let her know some germ might be poised to wreak havoc in her house.
He tapped the screen to turn his phone on. Cameron smiled back at him. He’d snuck this photo of her one day when she hadn’t been expecting it. But it made him happy every time he turned on his phone, so he’d put it on his home screen.
If this situation surrounding his TDY showed him anything, it was that he loved Cameron and Lizzie and the thought of leaving them tore him up.
He pressed a few buttons. One ring, two, three… She finally picked up right as the fourth ring started. “Uh, hello?”
“Cameron, thank God. Mariana is sick. Her face is flushed, she feels like she’s got a fever, and there are splotches on her face and arms. Mrs. Rodriguez says she’s probably contagious.” Daggone it. He needed to hear Cameron’s voice. He hadn’t known how much. But did he tell her that? No, he just blurted out what was going on.
“It’s all right, Alex. Calm down.” Cameron’s voice was soothing. Was she sitting on her couch right now, or was she chasing after Boomer, dealing with one of his many mishaps? Alex shook his head. That wasn’t why he called. “It sounds like she may have chicken pox. Did she get the vaccine?”
“How in the heck am I supposed to know that? I just… Valentina handled everything about Mariana when she was little. And then my mother took charge after Valentina died.” He was lucky he’d gotten Mariana’s medical records transferred when he changed stations. He hadn’t even settled on a pediatrician. Mariana had been healthy so it hadn’t been a priority.
“What about Lizzie? I’m worried that Mariana may have given it to her. The girls spend so much time together. I’ll feel awful if Lizzie was sick.”
“There’s no need to worry. Lizzie got the vaccine before she started school. And I had chicken pox as a child, so we’re both fine.”
Thank God for that, at least. “Whew. I’m glad. At least you guys won’t be infected.”
“Aren’t you supposed to be leaving for your trip? What are you going to do with Mariana?”
He sank onto the couch. Now that he knew for sure that Cameron and Lizzie were okay, he could deal with his current dilemma. “I don’t know yet. Mrs. Rodriguez can’t take her because she may be contagious. And unfortunately, in the Army, family medical leave is a bit complicated.” There he went. Unloading on Cameron again. She didn’t want that in her life anymore.
Cameron didn’t say anything for a long time. She was too quiet. Then, a few shaky words. “Why, uh, why don’t you bring Mariana here? She can stay with us while you’re gone.”
“I don’t know, Cameron. Do you think that’s a good idea?” It was all he could do to stop himself from shouting “yes” the minute she offered. He wanted to be with Cameron. But she’d made her fears about his deployments clear, and their inevitable effect on her and Lizzie. But he didn’t have a choice whether to travel or not. This was an impasse he didn’t know how to resolve. At least not in the next thirty minutes.
“Don’t worry about what happened between us right now. This is about Mariana. I know you have to go.”
“I can’t ask you to do that.” Not that he had any clue what else he could do.
“You’re not asking. I’m offering. Stop being stubborn and say yes.”
She’d called that right. He was stubborn. “Cameron, I don’t deserve this from you. I can never thank you enough. I know you’re doing it for Mariana, and I appreciate that so much. I’ll bring her by as soon as I can get her packed.”
“I’ll see you soon.”
Cameron clicked off without another word. But he’d been seeing her in a few minutes. He could say some of the things he’d failed to tell her the other night. Like the fact that he was falling in love with her. And that she was worth fighting for.
* * *
Cameron stared at the phone long after the screen went dark. What was she thinking? She was thinking about Mariana. Where she should be focused. Not on Alex. Not even after she’d tossed and turned all night, wishing she could fix what she’d broken.
“Did I hear you say that Mariana’s gonna stay with us?” Lizzie’s excited voice rang out from the doorway.
“Yes, Alex is bringing her over. Mariana wasn’t feeling well and Mrs. Rodriguez couldn’t watch her if she was sick.”
Cameron brushed her hands down her hair. Did she have time to touch up her makeup before Alex got here? She grabbed a couple of magazines from the couch and stacked them on th
e coffee table. Then she straightened one of them. And again. Okay, this was ridiculous. She took the blanket that was balled up on the couch and folded it neatly over the back.
“Everything will be okay, Mom. This will give you a chance to talk to Mariana’s dad and fix things.”
Cameron’s hands stilled. Lizzie hadn’t said much when Cameron told her that she and Alex had broken up. She’d expected a temper tantrum of epic proportions. But no, Lizzie had been calm and reasonable. “Lizzie, come sit down and talk to me for a minute.”
Lizzie tilted her head in that way that reminded Cameron so much of Josh. It had taken a long time, but she didn’t get angry every time she thought of him now. How could she, when he’d given her the best thing to ever happen to her?
“What’s going on, Mommy?”
“I know that you were upset when I told you I wasn’t seeing Alex anymore. Just because I offered to help out a fellow parent doesn’t mean that we’re getting back together.”
“Don’t you love him?”
Did she? She thought she did. But was she ready to accept that Alex could be gone for months at a time, just like Josh?
Their problem wasn’t his, but hers. She was afraid to love him. Afraid to trust herself. Wasn’t it easier to leave things as they were and not risk the heartache? Either way, those weren’t topics for her ten-year-old daughter. “It’s not that simple, honey. Things are complicated in a grown-up way that you’ll understand when you’re older.”
“But Grandma always says if you love each other, you can figure out the hard stuff together.”
Leave it to a ten-year-old to boil her issues down to something that easy. Was Lizzie right? Was Cameron letting her fears complicate what should be an uncomplicated situation—two people falling in love? Every couple went through growing pains. But this felt as bad as the “you’re thirteen years old and you grow three inches overnight and every bone in your body ached” kind of growing pains.
Mommy Loves The Military Man (Mommy's Little Matchmakers Book 2) Page 9