by Kari March
He looked like hell. His shaggy dark brown hair was all messed up, like he had been running his hands through it all night. His dark green eyes were blood shot and he looked like he hadn’t slept in days. I silently stared at him as he looked everywhere but at me. The look on his face was despondent and, for a split second, I actually felt bad for running away last night and not speaking to him. Then images of him and Monica replayed in my mind and I had to close my eyes to keep from crying again. This man that I had loved, trusted, given my heart to, completely betrayed me. I had given up so much to be with him and I lost a piece of me along the way. I silently cursed myself for allowing him to control me for so long. I was always so scared to upset him in fear of what the backlashes would be—but not anymore. He caused me enough pain over the past six months and I was done.
After what seemed like an eternity, he stood up and wrapped his arms around me. I pushed him away. “No, Jared. It isn’t going to work this time. You fucked your assistant and lied to me.” I walked back into my apartment, making my way over to the kitchen. I couldn’t let him near me—I had to stay strong. “How long have you been seeing her?”
He followed me, closing the door behind him. He set the flowers on the counter, pushing his hand through his hair as he spoke. “It was only that one time, babe. Please believe me. I never would have done it but,” he paused for a moment, probably trying to come up with the perfect lie. “She black mailed me, Tess.”
“Really, Jared?” I asked in disbelief. “You had all night to think about this and that is the best you could come up with?” I said, anger dripping from every word. “What could she possibly have to blackmail you with?”
“I messed up at work—big time. I screwed up this huge multimillion dollar commercial account and my father would kill me if he found out. I have been trying to fix everything on my own. I left some paperwork on my desk and Monica must have seen it. She threatened to tell my father if I didn’t sleep with her. She has been trying to seduce me since the day I hired her,” he explained, his eyes pleading with me to believe him.
“Why didn’t you just fire her a long time ago if she was trying to seduce you? Or at least turn her into HR?” I questioned him, not buying the story he was feeding me.
“At first, I was flattered that she found me attractive. I never flirted back, but I still thought it was cute. Then it started to get out of control. I was going to fire her, but then I fucked up the account. I got so wrapped up in trying to fix it that I didn’t have time to worry about her. Yesterday morning, right before you called me, she threatened to tell my father everything that I had done if I didn’t take her home after work and fuck her.”
“So—let me get this straight. You cheated on me to save your ass? How romantic,” I said, looking at him with disgust. “Why didn’t you just go tell your father what happened? Why didn’t you just confess to screwing up instead of screwing her?” The initial adrenaline I had coursing through my veins had begun to wear off. “I’m glad I mean that much to you,” I whispered, putting my head in my hands. Tears began cascading down my cheeks.
Jared came to my side and put his arms around me. “Babe, I’m so sorry. I should have just told my dad everything that happened, but I didn’t want to disappoint him. I wanted to prove that I could do this job on my own. He wants me take over the company and he’ll never give it to me if he thinks I can’t handle the large accounts. I am so sorry. How can I prove to you that you’re the only one for me?”
“I don’t think you can this time,” I said, shaking my head as I pushed my way out of his arms. “I never should have taken you back. I knew you would do it again.”
“Babe, please don’t say that. I know I can fix this. I did it once—I can do it again. Please. What are you doing this weekend? Can we go away together? I’ve wanted to surprise you with a trip to Mexico for a month now. We can work things out while we’re there. Please?” God, he was good at this. He always knew what to say and when to say it. I took a deep breath; summoning any strength I had left to assist me.
“You can’t just take me to Mexico and think that everything is going to be okay. You cheated on me.” I looked him in the eyes, letting him see the devastation he had caused. “It doesn’t matter anyway,” I continued, “because I have plans this weekend.”
“Plans? With who?” He sounded concerned.
“I am going with Blake to the firefighters ball. His date stood him up and he has already paid for everything. So I agreed to go as his friend.”
I waited for the wrath of Jared to come falling down on my head. I knew he was going to be pissed, but I didn’t care. I saw his fist ball up at his sides. He took a deep breath in and exhaled slowly. “No,” he said matter-of-factly.
I looked at him, fuming with anger. How dare he try to tell me what I can and cannot do? He didn’t own me and I was sick and tired of him treating me like he did! I had spent the last five months doing what he wanted—staying away from my family and friends and losing a piece of myself along the way. Sensing I was fed up with him and this conversation, he quickly changed his demeanor.
“Umm… I’m not going to lie, Tess, I don’t like this one bit. But I need to earn your trust back. If you want to go, then it’s okay with me. I won’t try to stop you.” I could tell he was trying to be sweet, but he was failing miserably. The vein in his temple was pulsing and his fists were still clinched at his sides.
“I am going and I wasn’t asking for permission, Jared,” I informed him, annoyance obvious in my tone. “I think you need to leave. I need time to process all of this. And, personally, I don’t really want to look at you right now. Can I just call you tomorrow?” I couldn’t believe I had just spoken to him like that. I silently praised myself for standing up to him once and for all.
His face fell a little and he looked hurt. “I guess, babe, please just… you need to know how much I love you. You’re it for me. I mean it.” He gave me a kiss on the cheek and made his way to the door. Right before he left, he turned around to face me.
“Tess…”
“What, Jared?” I asked, aggravated. I just wanted him to leave already.
“I need to know something.” I saw his Adam’s apple bob as he forced a swallow. “I need to know if this is the last time I’m ever going to see you.”
“I don’t know, Jared. I’m way hurt. I’m sure we will see each other again at some point. I’ll call you tomorrow but, right now, you have to leave.” His head fell.
He calmly came up to me, taking my face in his hands, and kissed me with everything he had. I tried to kiss him back, but I felt nothing. It was like I was finally numb to him. After all of the pain he put me through, I was finally closing myself off. I just stood there as he walked out my door.
A few hours later, I was going through all the photographs I had taken while being in school. Unfortunately, a lot of them were of Jared. I had been going to college at the Art Institute of Denver for the past two years. I was getting ready to graduate with an Associate’s degree in Applied Science in Photography. Thursday was my portfolio review and I was nowhere near ready.
I couldn’t wait to graduate; we would walk in just two short weeks. I always wanted to start my own portrait photography company. There was something about capturing a moment in time with one simple click that just fascinated me.
Lexi showed up right when my eyes were starting to get heavy from all the focusing. I opened my door and she was standing there with two java chip frappuccinos from Starbucks. Yum!
“Hey, hooker! Thought maybe you could use a little pick me up,” she said, holding up the two cups. She walked in and handed me the heavenly drink.
Lexi was beyond gorgeous. She moved to Colorado from Alabama our sophomore year in high school and we had five classes together; we became inseparable. She never had any problem attracting the guys. With her long wavy blonde hair and eyes the color of the ocean, she was a knock out. Her southern accent was thick and it drove all the guys crazy.
&
nbsp; “Oh, my God! I needed this! Thank you so much, Lex! You are the best best friend ever!” I said as I took a drink.
“Of course I am! Okay, now that I’ve got your attention,” she said mischievously, raising her eyebrows at me. “What the hell was going on outside with you and Blake Bentley? You guys looked like you were about to go at it! I want details, you slut,” she demanded. We headed over to the couch and sat down.
“First of all, we did not look like we were ‘about to go at it’—we were just hugging. Second, there are no details to tell. We didn’t do anything. We’re just friends,” I reminded her. Lexi gave me a looked that just screamed liar.
“Yeah and I’m a virgin! Tessa Collins, you expect me to believe nothing happened out there? He was shirtless and staring at you like he was about to devour you.” Lexi was the type that didn’t believe that two people of the opposite sex could actually be “friends” with each other unless one of them was gay.
“I swear, Lex, nothing happened,” I reassured her. I didn’t even want to mention what could have happened if she would’ve never came outside, though. That would just fuel her fire. I started to blush just thinking about where last night could have gone. I needed to change the subject fast before she started to see through me. “So, what happened with you and Matt? You seemed a little flustered when he asked if you needed a ride home.”
Her face started to turn red and she took a sip of her frap before answering me. “Nothing happened at the party. He just offered me a ride home, that’s all,” she said, avoiding my eyes and shrugging her shoulders. Did she think I was stupid or something? She obviously was skirting around the truth.
“Nothing happed at the party, huh? Well, what happened after the party then you bitch? Haven’t you learned by now that you can’t hide anything from me, Lexi Miller?” I laughed as her cheeks turned a hundred different shades of pink.
“He just kissed me, I swear,” she responded with a giggle. Her eyes lit up and she started clapping her hands together like a little girl. “Tess, he was so sweet. Just like a real southern gentleman,” she gushed. “He opened the car door for me and then, when we got back to my condo, he walked me to my door. Oh, and then, in his low and oh-so-sexy voice, he told me he had a great night and that he would love to see me again. After staring into my eyes,” she continued all dreamily, “he finally leaned in and kissed me.”
Lexi was a hopeless romantic. I blamed all the fairytales she read growing up and the countless romantic comedies she used to make me watch with her. I swear that women are programmed from a young age that guys are sweet, romantic, knights in shining armor. When, in reality, they’re nothing but horny toads. It’s kind of a drag when you figure it out. Her daddy always told her that no one would ever be good enough for his little princess and I think she may have believed him. If a guy didn’t put in one hundred and ten percent with her, she kicked them to the curb. And the ones that were lucky enough to stick around usually ran for the hills after they met her father. He was a hard ass and was never nice to any of the guys she brought home. It was going to take a very special man to put up with her and her father.
“Maybe you finally found the one then, Lex,” I said smirking, trying not to laugh. “When are you going to introduce him to daddy?”
“Slow down there, Tess. We haven’t even had a date yet and you think I am going to let him meet my father? He would be running away faster than the speeding bullet coming from my daddy’s gun!” We both started laughing. “I think he’s different though—something about him makes my stomach do flips, especially when he smiles at me.” With that one sentence, I knew Lexi had already fallen hard for Matt. The look in her eyes when she said it gave her away and I had never seen her eyes sparkle that brightly before. I hoped Matt felt the same way or Lexi may finally be on the receiving end of a broken heart.
As I was driving home from Cole and Palmer’s, I couldn’t help but think about the kiss that almost happened last night. Tess was confusing the shit out of me. I didn’t know what to think anymore. Did Lexi save me from a big mistake or did she mess up a perfect moment? I didn’t plan what happened last night at all. Tess had been touching me all night and those sexy little smiles she kept throwing my direction were driving me insane. Once she started to lift up the sleeve of my t-shirt—I was done for. I don’t know if it was all of the shots we took or what, but I couldn’t stop imagining her in my bed, naked, while I ran my tongue over every inch of her perfect body.
What is fucking wrong with me lately?
I hadn’t thought about a girl this much in my life. Hell, I didn’t even think about Kristi this much when we were together.
Kristi was the first and only girlfriend I’ve ever had. We got together when we were juniors in high school. We dated almost two years and I was about ninety percent sure I was in love with her. That was until she broke my fucking heart. She had gone down to Florida with her parents and a few friends for spring break. When she got back, she was distant—like she wanted nothing to do with me anymore. I was pissed because I had no fucking clue what was going one with her. There’s nothing subtle about being told to fuck off before getting slapped across the face in front of the entire school.
I was in shock at first. Then, of course, I wanted an explanation. I mean, what kind of cold hearted bitch does that and doesn’t give an explanation of why? I tried calling her and she wouldn’t answer. I showed up at her house, only to have her father inform me that it wasn’t a good idea to come back if I wanted to keep my balls. I stalked her classes and locker at school, I even tried getting to her through her friends but they told me the same thing—“You know what you did, asshole.” But I didn’t know what I did and that was the problem. Finally, I just gave up. She obviously didn’t feel the same way about me or she would have at least talked to me about it. Plus, I wasn’t into chasing the drama. Maybe she finally came to her senses and figured out I wasn’t good enough for her.
I was a mess. So, I did the only thing I could think of to get my mind off of her—I turned my attention to any hot girl that gave me the time of day. Turns out, there were a lot of girls that wanted to get to know me better. I never got into another relationship after Kristi though—just sex and the occasional date, but never anything more. I guess that’s how I got my reputation of being a womanizer or some shit like that. I never once lead women on. Every one of them knew going into it that I wasn’t interested in a relationship—that it was just sex. I made it a point to tell them before I ever touched them. I rarely saw the same girl more than once and, if I did, it was usually because I ran into them somewhere while I was drunk. After all, I am a man and men have needs—nothing wrong with that.
I had sporadic stalkers here and there—girls that couldn’t take a hint that nothing was ever going to happen between us. Out of them all, Christina was the worst. That little whore would do anything to get me to settle down with her. We actually had gone to high school together, but it wasn’t until last year that I finally nailed her. I was at Club with Matt and the guys when we ran into her. By the end of the night, she was screaming my name and begging me to fuck her harder. I had given her the regular run down that I always gave girls before I slept with them—I am not looking for a relationship, just sex, no strings attached. Of course she agreed, but then a few weeks later I ran into her at a party. That’s when I made the mistake of fucking her again.
After that night, there was no getting rid of her. She somehow managed to find me where ever I went. She started calling me all the time, asking me when I was going to take her on a proper date. She even got me piss ass drunk one night and tried to convince Matt to let her take me back to her house so she could ‘take care of me’. That was the last straw. I had a come to Jesus talk with her the next day. I told her there was no way in hell I was ever going to be in a relationship with her, nor was I ever sleeping with her again. She better leave me the fuck alone if she knew what was good for her. She started crying and begging me to forgive her, but the
tears didn’t work on me. I walked away and never looked back. Apparently, being an asshole worked, because she didn’t call me or ‘accidently’ run into me anymore. But I knew it was only a matter of time before I saw her again.
When I got home, Devin was sitting on the couch in our living room watching Duck Dynasty and laughing uncontrollably. He was showered and ready for the day and it was only eleven am. I didn’t understand how he could wake up so damn early when he drank. I could sleep all fucking day after a heavy night of drinking. Devin, on the other hand, always woke up by at least seven when he drank. Even if he was up all night long, he was still awake bright and early. Personally, I thought he had been cursed.
“Hey, bro! Have a good time last night?” he asked, wiggling his eyebrows at me while he reached over and muted the TV. “It sure seemed like you and Tess were getting pretty cozy last night out on the balcony. I noticed you slept in her room last night. You get any?”
“Shit, Dev, you know we are just friends. She isn’t like that, asshole!” I snapped back. I sat down on the couch and stared at him. Did he really just ask me that? I was so mad. If he wasn’t my brother, I would’ve punched him.
“Uh, yeah, okay… whatever you say, man.” Devin rolled his eyes at me. “Blake, sometimes, I swear I know you better than you know yourself. I see how you look at that girl and I see the way she looks at you. There is way more than friendship there, bro. Wake the fuck up!”
I hated the fact that my brother knew me so well. When we were little, he always used to finish my sentences and it always freaked me out. I never understood how he could do that. I spent most of my childhood believing he was fucking psychic.