Promise Me Always

by Kari March

  I stopped dead in my tracks and turned around, starring daggers at her. I had never once cheated on any girl in my life. I would never stoop to that level—ever. If I was that unhappy in a relationship, that I needed to get my dick wet somewhere else, I would end it before I ventured out. I stomped back over to where she was standing, the look on her face telling me that she was feeling uneasy.

  “I never cheated on you, Kristi. I’ve never cheated on anyone in my life!” I said, appalled. “My morals are higher than that. Maybe if you would have just come out and asked me, we would still be together. Instead, you slapped my fucking face and told me to fuck off. I tried coming after you but you refused to see me. So, who’s the ass now?” I snapped at her through gritted teeth. I could tell she was a little taken aback by my statement. She was looking everywhere except at me, her cheeks becoming the color of her drink. She didn’t say a word for the longest time and all I could do was glare at her.

  “I’m sorry, Blake, really. I didn’t know. You’re right, I should’ve asked you instead of jumping to conclusions,” she admitted. “But we were seventeen and I didn’t know any better.” She finally looked up at me as she continued, “We were so happy and I completely ruined everything. I wanted to ask you, but Christina kept telling me that you would deny it.”

  “Wait… Christina who?” I questioned her. I had a sick feeling I knew which Christina we were talking about, but I wanted to make sure.

  “Christina Summers—she told me about you two a couple days after we got back from Florida. She said that the two of you had been together the whole time I was gone and that you both swore to take it to your graves. That’s why she said that you would deny it even if I asked you about it.”

  That bitch! She was ruining my life even back then! That girl had a world full of issues that she needed to figure out and, more than likely, they were daddy issues.

  “I can honestly say that I never touched that whore in high school,” I stated, plopping down into one of the lawn chairs. Kristi sat slowly, sinking down into the chair next to me.

  “I should have known better than to believe her. When she told me, she had just come out of my older brother’s bedroom, adjusting her skirt. I always knew she was a fucking slut.” We both started to laugh because that sounded exactly like Christina.

  Kristi and I continued to talk through everything that had happened all those years ago. As the evening progressed and the party goers got louder, we continued to talk about our lives—both past and present, on the tailgate of Devin’s truck. I told her about Tess and how much I loved her and how I didn’t think I was good enough for her. She informed me that I was crazy for thinking like that and I deserved to be just as happy as the next person.

  She told me about the abusive relationship she got into her senior year and how she barely escaped his rage the night he went to prison. She also told me about her current boyfriend, who was away on a business trip this week, and how they were moving in together after he got back. I was surprised by that one, with the way she approached me earlier, but she was still hurt and I kind of understood why she did what she did. She was trying to make me see what I missed out on.

  Out of all the places I could have ended up that night, I was surprisingly content lying in the back of Devin’s truck, looking up at the stars while talking to Kristi. Never in a million years would I have ever thought that I would ever see her again, let alone have these conversations, but it was a breath of fresh air—it was like I was talking to the sister I never had.

  She asked me about Devin and how he was handling everything going on in his life. Besides Tess, she was the only other person I had ever told about our childhood. She knew the darkest secrets of our past, even things I never told Tess. She always had a deep understanding for what happened to us and it was easy to talk to her about it. It made me think of Tess, though, and how much I wished I would have revealed more to her about what happened to me as a child. I think, in some ways, it would have bound me to her even more and I wanted to be tied to her in every way possible.

  “Tess, seriously. Snap out of it, doll, and let’s go do a shot!” I heard Lexi yell over the music as she nodded her head towards the fully packed bar. I smiled at her and stood, following her across the crowded room as the base thumped loudly in my ears.

  The girls and I were living it up at Club Vanity, a very popular night club in Larimer Square in the heart of downtown Denver. I tried to plaster on my best ‘having the time of my life’ smile, but, every now and then, I would slip and my mind would start to wander back to Blake.

  I had seen a glimmer of hope that weekend at Shane’s house after our short, but emotionally draining conversation. But every day that had gone by this month, my hopes diminished more and more when I didn’t hear from him.

  I tried my hardest to get back to normal life, but as time went on, I noticed that life just wasn’t going to be normal unless I was with Blake. He was my soul mate and I felt empty and alone without him. It didn’t help any that I had chosen to take off so much time after graduating. It seemed like a great idea after working my ass off for two years. But after Blake sent my world into a tail spin, the idea seemed stupid. I had absolutely nothing to take my mind off the situation at hand, except running. My days were full of tears, working out, and more tears. I didn’t even have crazy ass Jared following me around anymore.

  I had gone to the police station after the last incident to fill out a report. Palmer wasn’t going to leave me alone until I did and I was sick of her bugging me about it. I filed for a restraining order but, unfortunately, no one could even find Jared to serve him with the papers. He had been missing since the day he followed me to Shane’s house and that had been over a month ago.

  Every once in a while, I would meet one of the girls for lunch or dinner. On those days, I would actually shower, put on my make up, and plaster on my fake smile, never once alluding to just how depressed I actually was.

  This was just another one of those days. They all thought it would be good for me to get out of my apartment and try to move on from Blake, but the truth was—I would never move on from him. He was a part of me and, no matter how hard I tried, I would never be able to let him go.

  As I approached the bar where Lexi was already ordering us God knows what, I decided it was time to push Blake from my mind and start enjoying the night. After all, the girls had planned this incredible evening just for me and I didn’t want to be a stick in the mud and ruin everyone’s night—just because I couldn’t get Blake out of my head.

  “Bottoms up!” Lexi said as she handed me a shot glass full of an amber colored liquid. I assumed it was Fireball Whiskey, Lexi’s favorite. She never shot or drank anything else, except for the occasional beer. I took the glass, holding it up to her before pouring the cinnamon liquor down my throat. I could feel my stomach warm as it settled.

  I asked the bartender for a beer and, just as she handed me the cold bottle, I felt Lex tugging on my arm, pulling me over to the dance floor. The rest of the girls were already shaking it provocatively to “Give Me Everything” by Pitbull as we approached them. Once I was in arms length of the group, they pulled me in, wrapping their arms around me and forcing me to dance. I couldn’t help but laugh at these amazing women in my life. They were always there for me and I loved each and every one of them infinitely.

  Soon we were all dancing and singing at the top of our lungs to the music. We were attracting the attention of many male spectators as we grinded into each other. None of us were at the club to pick up guys, so when they approached, we use the typical female move at dance clubs and pretended we were one hot group of lesbians—pulling each other away anytime a guy got up the nerve to try and spoon with one of us.

  We spent the whole night dancing, drinking and laughing our asses off. It was exactly what I needed to take my mind off the miserable month I had just lived through.

  After hours of dancing and many shots later, we finally decided to call it a night.
We stumbled out of the club around one thirty and piled into Avery’s car. Once again, she had opted to be the designated driver and, of course, we didn’t argue. She wasn’t going to drink and we all knew it.

  “I love you guys! Thanks so much for dragging my ass out tonight!” I slurred, throwing my arms around Cara and Lex who were riding in the back with me.

  “Of course, doll! We’re just glad you came. Don’t think we haven’t noticed how unhappy you’ve been. You try to cover it up, but you really suck at it,” Lex teased as the rest of girls started to laugh.

  “Shit! Here I thought I was actually putting on a good show!” I said, crossing my arms over my chest and pretending to pout.

  “Tess, we know you better than you know yourself. You really thought you were fooling us?” Palmer asked, looking back at me with her eyebrow raised.

  “Okay, geez, I get it. I am a horrible actress.” I threw my hands up in defense.

  We spent the rest of the thirty minute car ride giggling at stupid jokes and talking about the stupid men in our lives. When “Holding Out for a Hero” by Elise Lieberth started to play on the radio, we all sung the lyrics as loud as we could, arms swaying to the slow beat above our heads as we drove down the highway. The slow version of the song was hypnotic and, in that drunken moment, there was only one person’s face I could see.

  By the time Avery dropped me off at my place, it was almost two thirty and I was exhausted. My feet were killing me from dancing in heels all night and I was starting to lose my voice from all of the singing, yelling, and laughing we had done throughout the evening. All I wanted to do was get into my comfy yoga pants and crawl into my bed and sleep for at least ten hours.

  I waved goodbye to Avery from the bottom of my apartment steps and I watched her drive out of sight. Yawning, I turned and headed up to my door, digging for my keys in my purse. I finally found them when I reached my apartment on the second floor.

  I unlocked the door and, just I was turning the knob, my whole body was slammed up against the cold steel. My head crashed against the metal forcefully, crushing my body and knocking the wind out of me.

  What the hell was going on?

  I was instantly dizzy from the blow and my vision went dark, as pain rushed through my head. When I finally came out of it, I was being held up against the door with my hands bound behind my back. My mouth was covered, making it impossible for me to scream. I fought against my aggressor, but I was too disoriented to do any damage.

  I felt someone’s warm breath on my neck and the heavy stench of vodka invaded my nose. My mind was racing as I fought to keep my wits about me. Panic was not going to get me anywhere.

  Then I heard Jared’s frightening voice and I froze, fear paralyzing me. “I told you I would find you, babe,” he whispered sinisterly. My whole body started trembling, shaking with pure unadulterated fear.

  Before I could even realize what was happening, he was pushed me into my apartment, kicking the door closed with his foot and throwing me onto the ground. Landing on my hip, I felt a stinging twinge run through my body and I winced in pain. A deep laugh escaped his throat as he removed his black leather jacket and threw it on the ground next to me. He looked extremely demented as he stood there, staring down at me, his breathing heavy—those dark green eyes that I once found mesmerizing were now black with rage.

  “Did you miss me, Tess?” he seethed, his eyes widening. He tilted his head in a way that made my skin crawl.

  My head was pounding and I too scared to move away as he started making his way further into my apartment. Never taking his eyes off me, he made his way over to the couch. He sat down, making himself comfortable, crossing one leg over the other and resting his arm across the back of the cushions. Stroking his chin with his other hand, he asked, “What’s wrong, Tess? Did you really think I was going to give you up so easily?”

  My mind was still trying to process everything that had happened in the past few minutes. I heard him speaking but barely registered what he was saying. The room was spinning and I couldn’t tell if it was from all of the alcohol I had drunk or the blow to the side of my head, but I needed to try and refocus. Jared was here, in my apartment, and I knew he wasn’t here to talk. I didn’t know exactly what he was capable of, but I knew—whatever it was, it wasn’t going to be good.

  My head finally started to clear a bit and I forced myself to concentrate. The feelings in my limbs had returned, so I knew I could move around. My fear was far from gone, but I knew I needed to get out of the apartment, and fast!

  I started to stand up, my legs were shaking and my head felt like it was being hit repetitively with a hammer. As soon as I thought I was stable enough, I made a quick move towards the door.

  “Ah, ah, ah, Tess!” Jared taunted me, jumping up. I could hear him coming up behind me as I reached for the handle. Just as I was pulling the door open, he grabbed me by the hair, pulling me back and throwing me down on the couch. “I wouldn’t try that again if I were you,” he warned. His eyes were glazed over, watching me in an eerily fucked up way, as he pulled a large hunting knife from the back of his pants and slowly waved it around in my face. My heart stopped and I couldn’t breathe, suddenly realizing this was way more serious than I ever imagined.

  He leaned down, getting right in my face, as my body trembled. I felt the cold metal of the blade trace the contours of my face as Jared whispered into my ear, “Don’t make me have to use this, baby. I would hate to mess up this perfect little body of yours because you broke the rules.” He ran the blade down my neck and chest stopping at the top of my breasts. “Are you going to be a good girl and do what you’re told?” he asked me.

  “Y… yes,” I stuttered as I closed my eyes, praying that he would retract the knife.

  “Good girl.” He patted me on the head as he pushed away from me, returning to the couch. He sat down in the same position as before, only this time he was grasping the knife instead of his chin.

  I took a deep breath, trying to calm myself down. My survival instincts started to kick in and I knew I was going to have to play nice and do what he said, for as long as I could. If I wanted to escape this nightmare, somehow I needed to call for help.

  My cell phone, luckily, was still in my back pocket, but I couldn’t get it out with Jared seeing. I just needed a few moments where he couldn’t see me, but I knew he wouldn’t let me out of his sight. My mind was frantic as I tried to come up with a plan—all I needed was just a few seconds to send out a call. Then it hit me—I knew what I was going to have to do.

  “Um, C… Can I get you something to drink, Jared?” I asked, my voice shaking. I mentally berated myself. If I was going to pull this off, I was going to have to act like I wasn’t terrified of the lunatic sitting across from me.

  “Now, that’s more like it, babe,” Jared said, a new found excitement in his voice, “I would love a vodka tonic. But first, I need an apology.” He patted the seat next to him as he glared at me, untrusting of my new attitude.

  Reluctantly, I rose to my feet, my legs still quivering as I slowly staggered over to him. The thought of having to ask for forgiveness, for something that he caused, made bile rise in my throat. I sat down slowly, watching him carefully, praying he wasn’t going to swing at me with the knife.

  His empty hand moved to my thigh. He squeezed it tight and let out an exasperated sigh. The feeling of his hand on me was foreign and unwelcome, especially when he started caressing the inside of it. I had to make a concerted effort to keep my stomach from expelling its’ contents.

  “Tell me what I need to hear, Tess.” he snarled, making me flinch.

  I knew exactly what he wanted me to say. Knowing I had no choice in the matter, a shiver ran up my spine as I said it, “I’m yours, Jared. I’m sorry.” I tried to be convincing, forcing a smile onto my face and as much sweetness in my voice as I could manage.

  “That’s my good girl. Now get me that drink so I can finish what I came here to do,” he said as he continued t
o stroke my leg, pushing harder and harder with each passing.

  His words set off an alarm in my head and I knew this wasn’t going to end well. I stood up and started towards the kitchen. As soon as I passed the couch I heard, “Ah, ah, babe. I think you forgot something.” My stomach plummeted, thinking he saw my phone in my back pocket.

  He pointed the knife to his cheek. “I need a little lovin’ from my girl first.”

  My stomach churned at the notion, but I was relieved he hadn’t noticed the phone. I smiled sweetly at him and headed back over to kiss his cheek. He watched me intently as I leaned down and planted a soft kiss on the side of his face. A sinister smile spread across his lips as I backed away from him and headed into the kitchen. I was careful not to turn my back side to him, in fear that he would spot my phone.

  Once in the kitchen, I got out two glasses and pulled the vodka out of the freezer. I was only going to get one shot at this and it needed to be executed perfectly.

  “You know, babe, you’ve been a bad little girl this past month,” I heard Jared say as I pulled out the tonic water and closed the door to the fridge.

  “I’m sorry,” I said softly. I needed him to keep talking, knowing it would be a distraction, so I kept my answers short. My opportunity was coming up soon and I needed to focus.

  “I never wanted to cheat on you—you know that right?” he asked as he glared at me with a spine-chilling, cold look in his eyes.

  “Do you want ice?” I asked, avoiding his question.

  “Sure,” he said.

  I turned towards the fridge, putting his glass under the ice dispenser. When I turned back around, I pretended to accidentally drop the glass on the floor. Having this plan in my mind the whole time, I knew this was going to be my only chance.

  “Shit!” I said, coating my voice with annoyance while I crouched down, pretending to pick it up. Once I was out of his sight, I quickly pulled my iPhone from my back pocket.