“What?”
“That boy you used to have a crush on? Noah something?”
She didn’t bother reminding him of Noah’s last name. In fact, she regretted ever mentioning him. “Yes?”
“He called the restaurant, looking for me.”
Her heart began to pound. “He did?”
“According to a note I received from Becka.”
She remembered Becka, a hostess at the restaurant. Addy missed her and yet not enough to want to go back. She was happier here in Whiskey Creek. Despite the memories, despite the secrets, despite everything, this was home.
Noah played a big role in that, but she didn’t want to acknowledge his importance. What we have won’t last.
“What did he want?” she asked, but she could guess. Eve had told her at Black Gold Coffee that Noah was interested in finding out where she’d worked before and who she’d been with. He thought that might solve the mystery of who dropped her into the mine. He’d even asked her for her ex’s name.
“That’s what I’d like to know. Wasn’t it his twin brother who raped you?”
She wished she could say no, but that was more of a rhetorical question. “I’d rather you didn’t talk about what happened back then, Clyde. With anyone.”
“Is that why he’s calling me? Does he suspect? Is he digging for answers?”
Fortunately, he didn’t even know to ask those questions.... “I can’t say for sure, but...it’s important that he never find out. I can...I can trust you, can’t I?”
“Why don’t you finally bring those bastards to justice?” he demanded.
“It’s complicated, as you well know.”
“That kid died while you were defending yourself, Addy. It’s not as if anyone could blame you.”
Except for Noah and his parents and everyone else who might view the situation differently. They hadn’t been there. They didn’t understand how hurt and terrified she’d been. And, after seeing that presentation at the football game, she was positive they could never imagine Cody doing what he did, even less now than before. “I’ve got it under control.”
“We both know that isn’t true. Maybe if you’d come forward years ago, our marriage would’ve had a chance.”
Closing her eyes, she searched for a way to diffuse his pain. Now that Noah had Clyde’s name and number, she definitely needed to keep this as amiable as possible. “That isn’t what destroyed it.”
“You’re blaming me? Saying it was my affairs?”
He’d been drinking. She could hear it in his voice, and that worried her. What if Noah reached him when he was drunk? “I’m not pointing any fingers. I’m not even searching for those kinds of answers.”
“Well, I am, damn it! I never had a chance with you. You didn’t even give a shit when I cheated on you.”
She wished she could say that wasn’t true, but she hadn’t cared as much as she should have.
“I wouldn’t have looked at other women if you’d been capable of loving me like a wife should,” he went on.
“It wasn’t the rape that stopped me,” she said.
“What then?”
She’d already been in love...with Noah. He was the only person she’d ever felt strongly about, and she couldn’t seem to change that. But she knew better than to reiterate the fact that Noah had overshadowed their relationship. Clyde would reveal her secret for sure. “You and I...we weren’t meant to be.”
“That’s bullshit!”
“It doesn’t matter anymore, anyway. Listen to yourself. We’ve been divorced for over a year.”
“It wasn’t much of a marriage to begin with.”
“Then you didn’t lose anything.”
He didn’t respond for a moment. “Maybe you’re right. I don’t know what I’m talking about. You just...drive me crazy. You always have.”
“I’m sorry.”
He ignored her apology. It wasn’t the first one she’d offered. “So what should I tell Noah if he calls back?”
“Tell him you never did anything to harm me. Tell him you don’t know anyone who would.”
“What the hell is that supposed to mean?”
“Just say it, okay? Please? That’s all you need to do.”
She heard him sigh.
“Maybe, maybe not,” he said, and hung up.
Addy sat on the edge of her bed, nibbling on her bottom lip as she agonized over what would happen if Clyde decided to be spiteful. She had to quit seeing Noah. She was being selfish, reckless, even foolish, to continue sleeping with him.
But no sooner did those thoughts go through her head than she heard a soft knock at her door. “Addy, it’s me.”
Noah. She told herself she’d find out how Baxter was doing and say goodbye. But Noah looked so emotionally strung out that she couldn’t turn him away, even after she learned that Baxter would recover. His best friend had almost died; Noah was still worried about what the future would hold. So when he slipped his arms around her waist and buried his face in her hair as if he’d reached his safe place, her resolve instantly crumbled.
She could tell him tomorrow that she wouldn’t see him again....
“I’m sorry if I woke you. I had to touch you,” he breathed, and a few seconds later all their clothes were on the floor and they were in her bed.
* * *
Noah made love to Addy slowly, gently. He didn’t want to wake her mother by causing the headboard to bang against the wall. This wasn’t about satisfying his physical desires. He just wanted to feel close to Addy, to take comfort in the warmth of her body. That was also the reason he didn’t leave immediately afterward. Curling around her, he stared into the blackness that cloaked her room as her breathing evened out.
He hadn’t told her that Baxter refused to see him at the hospital. Although he’d been relieved to hear the doctors say Bax was going to be okay, his rejection hit Noah hard. He’d never thought he’d see the day when his best friend wouldn’t want anything to do with him.
Baxter’s refusal to let Noah come into the room confused Mr. and Mrs. North, too. And it surprised the hell out of the rest of their friends—especially since no one else was banned. Noah had left the hospital feeling as if everyone thought he must be to blame for what Baxter had done.
As Addy shifted, he moved to allow her more room.
“You okay?” she murmured.
He kissed her temple. “Yeah.”
“Baxter will eventually come to terms with who he is and what he wants out of life. He’s just...having an identity crisis.”
“I know,” he said, but he also knew that whatever happened, he and Baxter would never be the same.
She covered a yawn, but didn’t go back to sleep. She roused enough to ask, “How did his father behave?”
“He’s stunned, hurt—and oblivious.”
“To Baxter’s sexuality.”
“Yes.”
“The pressure we put on people to be what we want them to be sometimes isn’t fair.”
He stroked her side. “Has someone put that kind of pressure on you?”
“Clyde.”
He lifted his head. “You’re using his name?”
“He called me tonight.”
“Do you hear from him very often?”
“Not anymore. He wanted to tell me you’ve been trying to reach him.”
He went silent because he wasn’t sure how she was going to react to that.
“He isn’t the one who hurt me, Noah. I promise.”
“Then why won’t you tell me who did?”
“Some things are better left as they are. Trust me on that.”
He hated not knowing, couldn’t imagine why she wouldn’t tell him. But that wasn’t what bothered him the most, not at the moment. He was trying to figure out how Clyde had known his call was connected to Adelaide. He hadn’t mentioned her—or even Whiskey Creek. He’d provided his name and number, which shouldn’t have been enough to give him away. His area code covered a wide section of Nor
thern California.
“Would your ex have any reason to recognize my name?” he asked.
She stiffened. He could feel her reaction.
“Not really. I mean...I probably mentioned you once or twice. That’s all.”
“In connection with what?”
“Because I used to have a crush on you. That’s what I’m guessing.”
Noah tried to accept her answer. But he couldn’t believe that most men would remember the name of an old crush mentioned once or twice over a long period of time, not if they’d never met the guy. It wasn’t as if he’d ever dated Adelaide, or remained in touch. As far as he was concerned, Addy would’ve had very little reason to bring him up.
“Why don’t you want me to talk to him?” he asked.
“Because he’s my ex! Would you want me talking to anyone you used to date?”
Possibly not. He could see that side of it. But there was something about Adelaide that made him nervous. He liked her too much. Otherwise, maybe the fact that she was keeping secrets from him wouldn’t seem so threatening.
“Where are you going?” she asked as he got up.
“Home.”
She said nothing until he was dressed. “Are you upset?”
“A little.”
“Why?”
“Because I’m starting to care about you.”
Silence.
“The fact that you have nothing to say is not reassuring,” he said.
“I—I appreciate that you’re open to...feeling something.”
He frowned. “Again, not quite the reaction I was looking for.”
“I don’t know what you want me to say. I’m hoping we can remain friends.”
He rounded on her. “Friends, Addy? We’ve made love several times in the past week. Is that what you do with your friends?”
She spoke even more quietly. “You know I don’t.”
“So what is it? What’s standing between us? You don’t trust me? I don’t have a good track record? I’m not reliable? I hurt you before without realizing it? What?”
“Why are you trying to put this on me?” She was still whispering, but her words were harsher. “You’re the one who isn’t the type to settle down, to...to commit. You’ve never had a steady girlfriend. I’m just saying I understand and accept your limitations.”
“My limitations? Since when did I tell you I don’t want a commitment?”
“You haven’t. But you haven’t asked for one, either.”
“Because it’s too soon. That doesn’t mean I won’t.”
“You don’t have to. I’m not pressuring you.”
“I think that’s the problem. I’m the only one who wants more. So what do we have? An open relationship?”
She seemed flustered. “I guess...if that’s okay.”
“And if it’s not?” He stopped her before she could respond. “I know what you’re going to say. You tried to warn me. You agreed to be friends with benefits. Never mind that I assumed you were joking.”
She crossed the room, touched his arm. “I’m sorry, Noah. I...I was wrong to get involved with you. I never dreamed you’d want...more than I could give.”
This wasn’t going the way he’d thought it would. She was about to break off whatever they had. He could hear it in her voice. But that made no sense. They had a great time when they were together. He could feel the chemistry, could tell she liked being with him. So what was the problem?
“I’m not one to take things too fast. This is unlike me. I’ll give you that. But...I sense this odd resistance in you. I could wait, see what happens, except I get this really weird feeling that no matter how well it goes, you’ll back out in the end.”
She said nothing.
“Why have you been sleeping with me?” he asked.
“Because I haven’t been able to stop myself!” she admitted.
“But you would if you could.”
“Yes!”
He raked his fingers through his hair. “Great. Well, I feel something for you. That’s got to make a difference,” he said, and walked out.
He was getting into his truck when he realized someone was sitting across the street, watching the house. He tried to get a good look at the man’s face, but whoever it was didn’t relish the scrutiny. Snapping on his headlights, the other driver shot into the street.
But Noah knew that vehicle. It belonged to Kevin Colbert.
25
Kevin could see Noah’s headlights bearing down on him in the rearview mirror and cursed under his breath. He shouldn’t have gone to Addy’s. He’d given the others that big speech about lying low and staying away, but he couldn’t seem to abide by it himself. He wanted to believe he’d be fine if she spoke up, that he’d just refute any claim that he’d raped her. He doubted she’d be able to prove it, not at this late date. But he couldn’t stand the thought of having his reputation ruined. He was respected here in Whiskey Creek. The position he held as head coach of the football team meant more to him than anything, even his rocky marriage.
When he realized that Noah would follow him all the way home, he pulled over and waited for Cody’s brother to come to his window.
It was cold out and the wind was picking up. Noah wasn’t wearing a coat, but didn’t seem to feel the chill breeze that ruffled his hair and rippled his clothes. “What the hell were you doing at Addy’s?” he demanded.
Kevin had never seen him so angry. Noah had always been congenial. Of the two Rackham boys, Cody was the one who’d had the temper. “Nothing.”
“It’s three o’clock in the morning, Kevin. There has to be some reason you’re not home in bed with your wife.”
The excuse he’d planned to give suddenly seemed lame, but he couldn’t come up with a better one. “I was...curious about her. I mean...we haven’t had a scandal in Whiskey Creek for a long time, if you don’t count Noelle killing Kyle’s baby without telling him.” He attempted a laugh at the deliberate way he’d phrased that, but it fell flat. “I thought maybe I’d see if someone was skulking around.”
“Someone was skulking around,” Noah said. “You!”
“But not because I mean her any harm. If you’re thinking I’m the one who dragged her to the mine, you’re wrong. She’s a beautiful woman and...and...”
“You’re married,” he stated flatly.
“Right, but—” his mind finally latched on to something that might be believable “—Audrey and I haven’t been getting along. We had an argument a few minutes ago—”
“In the middle of the night?”
Determined to convince him, he rushed to explain. “That’s right. I couldn’t sleep, so I woke her up for a little...you know what, and she wasn’t too happy about it. That brought up a whole bunch of other complaints. So, after I’d had enough of her bitching, I stormed out. But I didn’t have anywhere to go. So...I thought I’d drive by and see if anything strange was happening at the Davies’ house.”
Noah’s expression remained skeptical, but he didn’t say anything.
“I didn’t expect to see your truck,” Kevin continued. “You two aren’t dating, are you?” He’d known they were seeing each other, of course. He’d been making Addy’s business his business. But he’d been telling himself not to worry. Noah never lasted long in a relationship.
With a scowl, Cody’s brother shoved his hands in his pockets. “She’s scared of you. Why?”
“She’s not scared of me! She would have no reason to be.”
“I saw how she reacted to you at the coffee shop. And Ted mentioned that you were with her at the restaurant one night. That there was an argument.”
“Not really. She didn’t want to seat me at closing time, that’s all.”
Resting his forearms on top of the car, Noah leaned in, all but glaring at him.
“What?” Kevin snapped.
“If anything happens to her—if she gets hurt again—I’m coming to you for answers. Do you understand?”
Kevin sat where he was f
or several minutes after Noah drove away. What the hell was going on? Obviously, Noah was sleeping with the girl he and his friends had raped. Noah didn’t know it, or he would’ve had very different words at finding Kevin outside her house. But...how long before Adelaide came clean?
“Son of a bitch,” he muttered, and punched the gas pedal. Things weren’t going the way he’d hoped, but if his wife noticed he was gone, they’d get even worse.
* * *
I feel something for you. That’s got to make a difference.
Addy wished it could. She’d never wanted anything more. But she was keeping too many secrets. Those secrets would tear them apart eventually—which reminded her that she needed to drive by Stephen’s place to get a good look at his truck.
Going out into the dark and cold didn’t sound appealing, but this was the first chance she’d had since Friday. It wasn’t as if she’d be able to sleep. Not after the way Noah had left.
She pulled on some thick, warm sweats, a beanie to cover her ears and a pair of tennis shoes. Then she slipped out through her bedroom door and put the transmission of her 4-Runner in neutral so she could coast farther away from the house before starting the engine. Gran could sleep through anything, but she had her mother to worry about. She definitely didn’t want to explain to Helen why she was sneaking out of the house. Her mother would, no doubt, make a big deal of it: Aha! See? You’re not so different from me.
Fortunately, her engine started right away. Considering how rough it had been running, she was hesitant to drive it, but she didn’t think this errand would take long.
She turned up the radio to distract herself while she drove. When Whitney Houston’s “I Will Always Love You” began to play, she quickly changed the station.
Stephen’s house came up on her right. Like before, it was dark, but chances were good that Stephen would be home and in bed. It was Sunday night; most people had to work on Monday.
This time the garage door was down. She guessed—hoped—she’d find his truck inside.
Careful not to veer into the ditch that ran parallel to the road, she parked some distance away and shut off her headlights. Then she sat there, staring at herself in the rearview mirror.
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