by William Bebb
Lou caught most of the appreciative comments but missed the question about his eyes entirely. Flipping the lights back on, he looked at his watch and then his wife. “Honey, we better get going or we're going to be late.”
Sheila broke free and ran to him as he stood by the front door. “Bite me daddy. Drink my blood.”
In spite of his fierce headache, he smiled and lifted the little girl up and playfully nibbled at her neck, careful not to accidentally bite her. Because, in addition to glowing in the dark the fangs were wickedly sharp. He had already accidentally bitten his tongue and gums several times and knew that for a fact.
After hugging Sheila goodbye, he led his wife outside and spit a gob of bloody spittle into the bushes.
“It's a great outfit Lou. Aren't you going to drive?” Carol asked, as he climbed into the passenger seat.
“Nope. I still got a headache from that...thing we went to earlier.”
“Okay count. You really do look scary though, especially your eyes.” She said starting the car and backing out of the driveway.
Josey felt bad about frightening the first kids so badly and decided to concentrate on just scaring older ones as he sat patiently on the bench. Having his hat pulled down low kept the kids from seeing his face but at the same time made it hard to tell how old they were. He heard some little girls giggling as they walked up the sidewalk and remained motionless as they rang the doorbell. A second later the sound of the door opening made him tilt his head enough to see Maria come out holding a giant orange plastic bowl of candy.
“Oh my goodness, what do we have here?” Maria asked, looking down at the group of young children.
As they shouted “Trick or treat!”, Josey felt no temptation to scare the pack of little girls dressed as butterflies. There's no sport in scaring them. I'd probably terrify them just wearing my normal clothes anyway. He thought with a grin.
After they said thank you and were walking away, Maria came over sat on his lap, lifted his hat off and gave him a very nice kiss. “Thank you, for not being a monster to those girls.”
“It wasn't easy. You know butterflies freak me out. By the way, you taste like chocolate. Better not eat too much of that stuff or you'll get even chubbier.” He teased, wrapping his arms around her, giving a bear hug while sniffing her hair. It smelled of strawberries.
“I'm not chubby. You're the one who's getting flabby.” She said, gently poking his belly. “You need to start jogging or something.”
They kissed again as Maria wondered if now would be a good time to tell him that he was soon going to have a very much chubbier girlfriend, at least for the next six or seven months. Being raised to believe their son or daughter needed parents who not only loved them but were also married she had tried before to mention getting married. She knew he loved her but every time she brought up the idea of marriage Josey got nervous or scared and quickly changed the subject. And since the doctor confirmed her at home early pregnancy test results, she'd been worried about how the man she loved dearly would react. It's not like he won't notice my belly swelling up in the next few months, anyway. She thought.
“Josey, there's something I need to tell you.” She said, as the kiss ended.
“Shush. You hear that? Someone's coming, quick go inside.” Josey said with the same boyish grin that had made her fall in love in the first place.
“Okay, but we need to talk later.” She said, before quickly slipping inside.
“I've seen the hot little slut who lives here and she's extra fine in all the right spots.” Jessie said , leading his two friends up the sidewalk. “If her giant goofy looking husband's not home maybe she'll give us an extra sweet treat.”
Josey overheard the boy, and tensed up ready to pounce when they came closer.
“Think she's really a slut?” Another boy asked, hopefully.
“Well, I know she's not married and living with some dumb asshole. Oh yeah, she'll probably want all three of us to take a ride. Who knows, maybe all of us at one time.” Jessie said, leading the others up on to the porch.
As he heard the kid ring the doorbell, Josey flipped the strobe lights on and stood up screaming. Standing well over six feet tall with his large muscular body, he towered over the three teenage boys. Their eyes expanded to the size of pumpkins as they screamed in undeniably authentic terror just as Josey had hoped. The two shorter ones took off running, with their overcoats flapping in the air behind them but the third apparently got confused and turned the wrong way before running.
Jessie ran face first into the brick wall and howled in pain before staggering back around, holding his broken and bloody nose in his hand swearing.“Fuckingdamnedmothersucking!”
Maria had overheard some of the boy's unflattering statements about her, and watched with a righteous grin as Josey lifted the struggling boy up over his head and threw him several feet onto the other boys who had stopped. They fell in a confused tangle of arms, legs, and overcoats in the yard while Josey began walking toward them.
“Go! Run, you fuck heads!” Jessie called back over his shoulder as he jumped up and sprinted away.
Seconds later, his friends were up and running too.
Josey took pity on them after chasing them for a block and a half. Partly because it was hard to run while laughing as hard as he was, and also the boys had outdistanced him by an additional block after realizing they were being chased.
A minute later, walking up the sidewalk, still chuckling and tired, Josey smiled at Maria standing on the porch holding out an open bottle of beer to him.
“You're my hero, Josey.”
Still breathing hard, he sat on the bench and downed half the bottle within seconds, while she rubbed his shoulders.
“I wish they'd come back sometime. They're great motivation for me to get some exercise. You know? Jogging, like you suggested a while ago.”
She sat beside him on the bench, leaning her head on his shoulder. In silence, they looked up at the large red harvest moon rising up in the slowly darkening sky before kissing again. They stayed that way until the sounds of more children coming made them get back in their positions.
The garage doors were down, and Katie knew they were the automatic electric kind so didn't even try to lift them. Instead, she ran past them to the regular door and twisted the knob hoping it wasn't locked but it was. As Dabney yanked on her hair, shouting “Let me down!”, she ran and checked to see if her mom's car was unlocked. While Ringo Dingo the clown screamed from somewhere in the backyard, she found her mom had locked the car.
“Dabney, you gotta be quiet. Mom and the clown are sick. We have to be quiet. Understand?” She whispered, setting her brother down on the driveway.
Looking toward the sounds of screams, Katie tried to fight down the growing panic inside her.
“Momma's sick? Ringo too?” He asked, quietly.
“Yes, and we've got to be quiet.”
“Car locked?”
She nodded and led him by the hand back behind Ringo Dingo's van. It was painted bright pink with pinwheels and confetti of different colors all over. In desperation, she tried the back doors of the van and found them unlocked. She pulled Dabney over and lifted him inside. He looked at the collection of party hats and props used at various parties and giggled.
“You just stay in here, I'll try to find a way inside to call for help.” Katie whispered.
“Get spare key for momma's car.” Dabney suggested, as he put a cowboy hat that made it appear as if the boy had been shot through the head with an arrow.
“It's inside the house, you turd brain.”
“Momma put one under the car yesterday. It's a secret. She doesn't want you to know.” Dabney said, placing his dirty index finger against his lips to demonstrate the secrecy of the information he was divulging.
I take the car for one joyride and this is how she reacts. Are all mothers like mine or am I just extra special? Katie wondered before whispering “Okay, you stay here and be quiet, I'll b
e right back.”
Shutting the van door, she crouched down and quickly went to her mom's car and got down on the driveway to crawl under and look for the keys. She heard Bad Kitty meow at her from nearby and saw the cat resting a few feet away. It was hard to see under the bumper and she ran her hand along underneath hoping to find the keys as Sparky whinnied in fear somewhere in the backyard. Wishing she'd asked Dabney if she'd hidden the keys under the front or back of the car, she heard the horse galloping across the yard coming closer.
Her hands were covered in gunk and dirt but she still hadn't found the keys as Sparky quickly clomped across the driveway followed by the clown. Katie squirmed all the way under the car and hoped Ringo Dingo wouldn't see her. Peering out she saw the clown wasn't wearing pants. As if that weren't disturbing enough, his legs were covered in blood that seemed to be leaking from his crotch. What the Hell is going on? She wondered, watching as the clown chased Sparky across the enormous front pasture.
Katie had no way of knowing her mother had always had an unfilled sexual fantasy to have sex with a clown. After the party, she had invited Ringo to her bedroom in spite of her growing headache. The clown had been more than willing to go along with her wishes that he leave on his bright rainbow colored wig, face makeup, and of course his red rubber nose.
He'd never had a woman willing to provide oral sex before and when Katie's mom had ripped down his saggy red pants it had seemed like they were both going to get what they'd always wanted. Her grunting and scratching, almost clawing, fingernails on his skin had only heightened Ringo's mood until she bit down and quite effectively neutered him. That was the source of the scream Katie had first heard in the stable earlier.
She was still watching the clown chasing her horse when she felt something yanking hard on her hair, pulling her from under the car. Screaming, she grabbed onto the muffler and pulled away but it felt like she'd been snatched partly bald in the process. Squirming further away, she turned and saw her mother clutching a few strands of her torn hair while trying to crawl after her.
Her mom's face was streaked in blood and her bare breasts were being dragged across the concrete driveway as she stared at her with eyes leaking blood. Though terrified, Katie still loved her mother and tried to talk to her.
“Mom, stop it. You're sick. Go back in the house and I'll call an ambulance or something.”
In answer, she snarled and grabbed a hold of Katie's jacket, dragging the terrified girl back toward her. There wasn't much room to maneuver under the car and Katie reached out to grab something to stop her being pulled back. She grabbed hold of something soft and threw it at her mother's face not even taking the time to think what it was.
Bad Kitty earned his name by being an angry, unloving, scratching, and biting feline even at the best of times. Already scared and in hiding, the cat scratched and clawed at the woman's face when Katie threw it at her. While her mother howled and fought the cat, the girl took the opportunity to crawl out from under the car. Uncertain what to do next, Katie saw the enormous red harvest moon rising and the silhouettes of Sparky and the clown running back toward her.
“Yay! Run Ringo, run!” Dabney shouted and jumped up and down, standing beside the front of the van.
Katie ran and swept up her annoying little brother in her arms. She considered the van, but Ringo was close enough that he'd see them climb in. Instead, Katie ran between the car and van into the backyard. Her mother had squirmed back out from under the car holding two good size bloody chunks of Bad Kitty in her hands. Katie didn't pause to think and ran for the stable as Dabney shouted over her shoulder at his mom.
“No, no! Bad mommy! Leave kitty alone!”
“Come on, you were the one so excited to come out here tonight. Don't just sit there like a bump on a log.” Carol said, as she got her pom poms from the back seat and climbed out of the car. Lou, also known as Dracula at least tonight, was sitting in the passenger seat staring blankly ahead. His headache had grown fiercer as they drove to the country club. At one point during the trip, he almost suggested they go to the hospital when things began to appear strangely out of focus. It was as if he were looking through a fish eye lens but it passed and even his headache backed down again after he took a couple pain pills he'd brought along.
He looked at his wife with his luminescent red eyes and shook his head as if to clear it, before unlatching the seat belt and climbing out. The country club's parking lot was nearly full, but Lou saw Mike Jefferson's new Mercedes parked nearby. It was hard to miss. It was a top of the line beauty, which easily cost five times more than his two year old Lexus. He's going to offer me a place at his practice tonight. I just know he will or I'll tear out his throat. Lou thought, as he clutched his wife's hand and walked quickly to the club.
The main dance hall shook from the heavy bass speakers blaring the band's passable but not great rendition of Creedence Clearwater Revival's Bad Moon Rising while a sizable portion of Albuquerque's most affluent residents enjoyed the Spooktacular Party. The mostly costumed crowd numbered close to twelve hundred, scattered not just in the hall, but the bar and locker room as well. The locker room had been converted, for the evening, into a mini casino complete with slot machines and various table games. The dance floor was nearly packed by all manner of gyrating monsters doing their best to get in the spirit of the evening. And even as the people danced and drank a considerable amount of alcohol women screamed while being 'attacked' by a wide variety of monsters.
Lou's headache roared back the moment he walked into the main hall. The flashing lights and loud music made his brain recoil as if it had been tossed into a pot of boiling water. He left Carol, who had seen and joined a few of her friends, quickly heading for the bar. Staggering past several couples, who were in the midst of various nearly pornographic public displays of affection, Lou managed moved down the hallway and found his way into the bar. Compared to the crowded confusing din of the main hall the place was nearly deserted, even though there were twenty people talking, laughing, and drinking.
He leaned against the bar, holding his aching head in both hands and felt the tremors coming back only much stronger than before.
“Hiya Lou. Nice costume.” The bartender, dressed as a mad scientist wearing a white laboratory coat, with a necklace of plastic fingers and eyeballs around his neck said, handing a tray of drinks to the waitress. “Too loud down there, isn't it? You look like a man in need of a drink. What can I get ya?”
“Uh, uh I don't know.” Lou stammered, still leaning against the bar.
“How bout a Bloody Mary? Since yer a bloodsucker and all, that seems appropriate.” The bartender said, laughing and assembling the required ingredients.
“Lou? Is that you over there?” A voice called out.
Looking up, with his vision doing that weird fish eye thing again, Lou had a hard time identifying who was speaking. He nodded back in the general direction the voice came from and took the drink the bartender placed in front of him.
“Nice teeth. Did you make those yourself? And, how on Earth did you get your eyes to do that?” Dr. Michael Jefferson, owner of Albuquerque's most prestigious dental practice, asked while climbing onto the empty bar stool next to him. He was dressed as Zorro, complete with a velvet mask and sword hanging at his side through a loop of his belt.
Lou felt the tremors increasing as his mind began to lose any hint of coherency.
“Uh.” Was the last thing he managed to say before madness swept him into a frenzied homicidal fit.
“Look mommy, that dog's pooping.” A little girl, dressed up in a princess costume, informed the lady holding her hand as they walked along the sidewalk. The sun sank below the horizon as the scarlet full moon cast it's eerie red light making everything seem almost unreal. Billy smiled and waved at the girl as they went by, while tugging gently on Boris's leash. Dang dog, hurry up. Jake thought, wanting to move on in search of more free candy.
Boris was either unwilling or unable to move on and Jake
leaned against the light pole. Watching the kids running, laughing, and squealing as they went about their appointed duty of gathering up as many pounds of candy as possible, Jake remembered something his grandfather once said about Halloween.
It's legalized extortion, that's all it is. One night a year, children are given the chance to dress up and threaten their neighbors. Trick or treat. You know what that boils down to don't you Billy? The kids may not understand but in a nutshell it's give us a treat or we'll trick you. I was the king of tricks back then. But really only had one that I really enjoyed doing.
When I was a boy, I'd leave paper bags filled with dog shit on some people's porches, light it on fire, ring the doorbell and run like Hell. I only did that to the assholes in the neighborhood, you understand? They were just for the ones who never gave out candy or were generally jerks all year round. The month before Halloween, I'd start collecting poop and by the time I was ready to go trick or treating I usually had enough for a dozen different houses.
Usually, I'd set the bag afire, knock on the door and someone would come out and stomp out the flames. Course, one time it didn't work out the way I'd planned. The principal of my junior high was the worst failure of them all. He comes out swearing like a sailor and stomped down on the bag, which he was supposed to do but then his foot in the bag of shit slips and he falls slap down on top of the smoldering bag. I couldn't help bursting out laughing behind his big oak tree and he recognized my voice. So, still sitting there on his porch he clears his throat and calmly says “Mister William Lester, will you please be kind enough to report to my office tomorrow morning?” I, of course, wanted to be quiet but found myself unable to do it. So, like a jackass, I said “Yes sir.”