We continued play until once again a tie came up, but this time he played an Ace over my two and was the one to take the M&M’s. He popped each one into his mouth slowly, exactly as I had, relishing his opportunity to rub in it.
The rest of the game followed suit until we were out of the tasty little candies, but we both had cards left.
“What are we going to play for now that you robbed me of M&M’s?” He got a mischievous look in his eye.
“Questions.”
“What do you mean questions?” I had a feeling I wouldn’t like where this was going.
“When I win you answer a question, and vice versa.” I almost laughed. The game was never about the candy. This was his plan the whole time. I hesitated before agreeing. I had no idea what questions he might ask, and I wondered again how much he’d already been told. He wouldn’t go easy, it wasn’t in his nature. I knew that much, but if I refused to play it would only make him that much more curious about my secrets.
“Fine, but only questions I deem are reasonable. I don’t know you that well and I’m not going to share every personal detail of my life.”
“Fair enough.” We resumed the game, only I was more anxious now that the stakes were higher. I wouldn’t just be giving up M&M’s but bits of myself. It would give me the opportunity to pry him with my own questions and I was looking forward to that. Kyden was the first to win a question.
“Why do all of the pictures here stop when you’re about thirteen?” Okay that wasn’t too bad, I could handle this.
“My mom died from cancer when I was twelve. Until recently I hadn’t been back to this house since, and almost everything is the same as she left it.” He nodded his head in understanding but there was no pity in his eyes when he looked at me and I was thankful for that. I couldn’t stand seeing pity.
“Where was your dad?”
“Nuh uh. That’s another question.” I wasn’t giving any freebies.
The next war resulted in me getting to question him. I already knew what I wanted to ask first. “How old were you when you started playing music?”
“Four.”
“Wow, that’s pretty young.”
“Yeah, my mom was all about instilling discipline and having the most accomplished kid to show off. Started me on the piano first and by the time I was six I was learning the violin and cello as well. It wasn’t until I was seven that I got my first guitar and I was hooked.”
“Wow that’s really impressive. Do you still play them all?”
“I think you’ve used up your question.” He seemed more upset by it than he should of. For some reason it was a touchy subject but I had no right to pry when there was so much I was holding back as well. When he won the next war, I knew what was coming.
“Your dad, Princess?”
“He wasn’t around when I was a kid. I didn’t meet him until after my mom died. I was sent to live with him after spending a couple months in foster care while they tried to track him down.” I’d only recently learned that my dad had actually known all along where I was, but had his reasons for leaving me there. It was just one of those new bits of information that left me questioning whether my father truly was the monster I had always believed him to be or if there was more to him.
“You’re not close with him.” It was more of a statement than a question, but I still answered.
“No I’m not.”
The next two questions went to me and I asked basic things, like favorite food. We both agreed that Mexican is the best, but when I asked him his top ten favorite movies, that led to a heated debate during which I spent ten minutes trying to convince him that Will Ferrell is evil. He refused to see reason.
I had hoped that by keeping my questions light, he would take the hint and do the same. I wasn’t expecting him to say, “Your room.”
“That’s not a question.”
“I want you to show me your room.”
“If you think that by getting my into my room, you can-”
“That’s not why I want to see it, but if you have something in mind I could be persuaded.” He added suggestively.
“Then why do you want to see it?”
“I’m just curious about the room you grew up in; what kind of kid you were.” That’s twice he said something I wasn’t expecting to hear.
“Oh.”
“So what’s it going to be Princess?” Should I show him? There really wasn’t anything too personal he could gain from seeing it. It hadn’t been my room in almost ten years and everything from that time in my life was the good stuff.
“Um sure, I guess.” A real smile spread across his face and suddenly I wanted to do everything I could to please him just so I could see it again. I gave myself a mental slap upside the head. Thoughts like those needed to stop.
I led him up the stairs and stood in the doorway while Kyden entered the room and did a full 360, taking in everything. It was a little embarrassing having him see all the pink, and girly frill everywhere, but hey, I was twelve. He moved to inspect the giant picture collage hanging above my dresser. It was a timeline of my friendship with Bas. He made it for my tenth birthday and across the top in big, bold lettering it said “Soc and Jaz.”
He raised his eyebrows in question. “Soc and Jaz?”
“It’s our initials. That’s how I got the nickname Jazz. My full name is Jaxyn Avery Zane and his is Sebastian Oliver Cross. I don’t remember when we came up with them, only that mine stuck and he’s used it ever since.”
“Cute Princess.” The only other person in the entire world who ever called me Princess was my mom. Hearing him us that nickname, in this room that had been my very own enchanted fairy tale land, caused the memory of my mom telling me to wait for the guy who would treat me like a princess to resurface. I wanted to laugh. There was no way she meant someone like Kyden. Everything about him would have made her want to lock me up in a tower.
“Why do you call me that?” I had to know.
“The tattoo, Princess.” Reflexively my hand went to the back of my neck where the words ‘Once Upon A Time’ were scrolled up my neck, behind my right ear in elegant, curling script. “I saw it when you threw yourself on me at the bar.” He smirked.
“I was pushed.” I corrected, not that it mattered to him.
“If you say so, but you don’t have to be embarrassed. You’re not the first girl to throw herself at me, although you did it more literally.”
“You’re funny.” He wasn’t and my tone let him know that.
“And you’re cute Princess.” He ruffled my hair and I wanted to be more irritated than I was by that. “Seeing all this, “ He gestured around the room. “It all makes sense now.” I wasn’t sure what he meant by that but I felt like I needed to explain.
“My mom loved fairytales, and every night before bed she would tell me a story. Sometimes they were from books or movies and other times she would make one up, but every single one began with “Once upon a time.” There was always a princess and no matter what happened, the story would end with a happily ever after.” I missed those stories. I missed the way her eyes would light up as she spun tales of adventure and true love. I could always tell when the princess was about to meet her prince charming because my mom’s voice would get excited. It was her favorite part of every story. My own anticipation would build along with hers for that inevitable moment when their eyes would meet and the rest of the world would disappear. In that second, even if the characters didn’t realize it yet, I knew they were already done for. Soul mates, destiny, divine intervention, call it what you want but Mom ate that stuff up, and in turn so did I. Or at least I used to.
“I think she loved them so much because her childhood lacked all of that and she wanted to make sure mine was different. She always encouraged me to believe in the impossible, have faith no matter what and create my own fairy tale. After I turned eighteen, getting the tattoo just seemed like a good way to honor her and remind myself of what she wanted for me.” I felt a
little self-conscious opening up to him so much, like I had just let him have a glimpse inside my soul, and now he could worm his way in there and see everything.
His eyes bore into mine as he closed the distance between us. His hand reached forward and he tangled his fingers in my hair. He moved slowly around me until he was standing at my back. With almost no space between our bodies, I felt like prey in the clutches of a dangerous predator. He swept my hair away from the spot where the tattoo was, and goose bumps immediately rose over my skin. He brushed his fingers gently over the words and I couldn’t stop myself from melting into his touch. I tipped my head down giving him better access.
“Beautiful, Princess.” He let my hair fall back over my shoulder and he came to stand in front of me again. I was caught in his piercing gaze. He was so close I could feel the heat emanating from his body and see his eyes darken as he loomed over me.
“Are you going to kiss me?” My voice came out breathless and the corners of his mouth curved up into a devastating smile.
“Believe me, you’ll know when I’m going to kiss you.” He lowered his face until it was just inches from mine. My heart rate increased and a flush crawled up my neck and over my face. His eyes were locked on mine and I was unable to look away or move, even though I knew I should. He leaned in even closer until his lips hovered just over my jaw. He took my chin gently in one hand and trailed his thumb over my bottom lip. I felt his warm breath on my neck as he moved to whisper in my ear.
“You’re not ready for me yet Princess, but when you are, I promise you won’t have to ask whether or not I’m going to do it.” Just like that he pulled away and walked right out of the room. It took me a moment to collect myself and I was left wondering what the heck just happened. Holy heart attack Batman. I was in trouble. That much I knew.
With just a look and a few breathy words he was able to turn my thoughts into mush and wipe out any self control I thought I had. I didn’t know whether I wanted to kiss him or punch him, but I was sure I wouldn’t make it through the rest of the night alone with him, without doing one of those things. I was afraid I knew which one it would be too. Even now I was imagining what it would feel like to have his lips on mine. I was confident it wouldn’t be like any kiss I’d ever had, not that I’d been kissed a lot. If I let Kyden kiss me even once though, I wouldn’t be able to say that again because I don’t think I’d be able to tell him to stop. That wasn’t something I could let happen. It was time to call in reinforcements. I pulled out my phone and sent a quick text. The reply was almost instantaneous and I breathed a sigh of relief. He was on his way.
Chapter 8
“You expecting anyone else Princess?” Kyden hollered from the living room as the knock sounded at the front door.
“Yes.” I came dashing out of the kitchen, where I had been pretending to tidy up in order to avoid him, for the last twenty minutes. I tried to reach the door before him, but he beat me to it. He pulled the door open and took in the large, well muscled figure standing on my porch. He wasn’t as tall as Kyden but he still stood at six foot and had a thicker build.
I hadn’t seen Shane since the day he showed up at my apartment in Portland and once again I was struck by just how much he resembled our father. Same squared jaw, hooked nose and close cropped haircut. His eyes were the only real difference between him and our Dad. He has his mother’s blue eyes. In fact, all of my siblings got their eye color from their moms. None of us have the same mom. Shane was the oldest at twenty four, then me, followed by Cathryn, just a year younger and Ryan who was eighteen. Of all of us I was the only child to inherit my Dad’s unusual eye color. I hated it.
“Who’s this?” Hostility poured from Kyden’s mouth. He didn’t even bother to address Shane himself.
“This is Shane.” I let that soak in for a moment before I finished. “My brother.” His shoulders, which had stiffened, noticeably relaxed. “Shane, this is Kyden.” My brother stuck out his hand and Kyden took it. During their brief exchange, there was a moment when they locked eyes that I saw some macho battle of wills taking place. Guys!
“Shane is going to stay with me the rest of the night, so you’re officially off the hook.” I informed Kyden, and he looked less than pleased.
“Nobody said anything about him being here. Chris told me I was supposed to stay until he comes over in the morning.”
“Yeah, well, that’s because nobody bothered to check with me before making those decisions. Thanks for being here, but you can go now.” Kyden wasn’t the least bit happy about being dismissed. I just had to hope he wouldn’t immediately inform Bas or Chris of the change in plans. I wanted a little more time to figure out how to explain Shane’s presence and convince Bas not to kill him.
Until last month, things between Shane and I were akin to the relationship between North and South Korea. In this depiction my father would be cast as the evil dictator and each of my siblings played the part of puppet oh so well. Suffice to say Bas had swooped in on many occasions to come between them and me, especially Shane. Often it had resulted in one or the both of them bloody and bruised. Everything changed when he tracked me down in Portland, well at least everything between the two of us. I wasn’t the only one to make life altering decisions in the last three years.
“So why exactly did I need to rush over here and rescue you?” Shane asked after Kyden was gone.
“It was either that or you’d have to hire a lawyer to get me off on murder, because if I was stuck with him one more hour I would’ve killed him.”
“Mmhmm, I’m sure that’s what you would’ve done.” He said mockingly. I responded by shooting him a dirty look. “What’s the matter sis? You seem a little flustered.” I groaned. I had traded one smug jerk for another. At least I didn’t have to worry about this one destroying my sense of morals and self-respect.
Shane followed me into the living room and helped himself to the remaining snacks. I flipped the TV back on and we both fell asleep watching the latest Marvel film. I was sprawled out on the couch with my feet across his lap and it was after one in the morning when I was startled awake by a surprisingly loud and unfamiliar ringtone. I looked over to see Shane passed out with his head tipped back and his mouth partially open.
“Shane, your phone.” I nudged him with my foot so he would wake up and answer it.
“S’not me.” He mumbled groggily, then shifted his body to rest his head on the arm of the couch and went back to sleep. I realized that he was right. The noise was coming from the coffee table where my phone was sitting. I reached for it and found that it was indeed my phone blaring the words to Animals by Nine Inch Nails, but that wasn’t one of my ringtones.
When I looked at the caller ID that popped up on the screen it all made sense. Kyden must have set the ringtone when he entered his number.
“Hello?” My voice was heavy with sleep and irritation.
“Princess, please fucking tell me you’re okay.” His voice was verging on panic.
“I’m fine, why wouldn’t I be?” I was confused as to why he was checking up on me in the middle of the night, and then realization hit me. He must’ve talked to Bas or Chris.
“We’ve been calling and texting you for over half an hour and you haven’t responded.” I pulled the phone away from my face and saw that I had eight unread text messages and twelve missed calls.
“You talked to Bas?”
“Chris called him after he got home from his date and I explained why I wasn’t with you. What’s going on Princess?” Just then I heard the sound of a car door slamming followed by footsteps hammering across the porch. I hung up the phone, swung my legs down and shook Shane. He sat up just as I heard a key turning in the lock.
“I had hoped to save this until morning but Bas is here.” As soon as the words left my mouth he appeared in the living room, ready to rip someone’s head off. He halted as he took in the two of us on the couch. His gaze swept over me, checking to make sure I was in one piece and then when he was satis
fied he narrowed his eyes on Shane.
“What’s going on Jazz?” Bas demanded without looking away from my brother.
“It’s okay. This is my fault. I should have talked to you earlier, but there’s still so much I’m processing and I didn’t know how to explain it all to you.”
“Well you can start with why Connor’s best friend is sitting in your living room and how come I’m not beating the shit out of him for it.”
“He’s not here to cause any trouble or hurt me, Bas. Things are different now.”
“Are they now?” He scoffed. Clearly he wasn’t buying it, and honestly I couldn’t say that I blamed him. I was just as skeptical when it had been Shane standing in front of me, trying to convince me to trust him. Ultimately he had, and I knew Bas would come around once he heard the full story too.
Before I could go into further explanation another set of car doors slammed outside and we were joined by Chris and Kyden looking just as distressed as bas. “Jeez, was it really necessary to bring the whole damn cavalry Bas?”
“I told you Princess, you weren’t answering your phone.”
“We were worried Tink.” Just as Bas had done, Chris fixed a glare on Shane, trying to take in the situation. “The three of us were already on the way when you finally answered, and then you hung up and we didn’t know what was going on.”
“Well everything is fine. I’m fine, he’s fine, so you can all go home.” I knew the likelihood of any of them cooperating was low.
“I’m still waiting for you to tell me why my fist isn’t in his face, Jazz.” I tried to think of a way to make him understand without revealing too much in front of the one person in the room who knew nothing about this part of my past. I really wanted to keep it that way. “Like I said, things are different. Shane is different. We’ve been talking lately and we sorted through a lot. He’s helped me to see some stuff from a different perspective and we’ve gotten to a place where I trust him Bas.” I meant it. Getting here hadn’t been easy for either of us, but after a lot of apologies and tears, I had been willing to give him a chance at being in my life. He gave me some very good reasons to, one I especially couldn’t ignore.
Finding Ever After Page 10