“But I’m not strong.” I whispered.
“Yes you are. Through all the pain and shit you’ve been dealt, you still haven’t given up. You’re kind and smart and determined. You refused to let Dad, or anyone else beat that out of you. You’ve never been afraid to love and I understand now, that love isn’t weakness at all. Loving someone is one of the bravest things you can do. It’s a choice you make that requires you to give a part of yourself but you become even stronger for it. You’ve always had that strength inside of you. So when you doubt yourself or think that doesn’t matter, know that it that matters a hell of a lot to me because if it weren’t for you I might have made the biggest mistake of my life.” Damn it I was going to cry again.
I was still wiping the tears from my eyes when we reentered the living room a few minutes later. “You promise I can finally meet her tomorrow?”
“Yeah, I’ll bring her and Luce for dinner. They both really want to meet you.” After Shane gathered his keys and phone I did something I had never done before and I wrapped my arms around him. I could tell that he was caught of guard. His body tensed for just a second and then he returned the gesture and squeezed me back. He pressed a kiss to the top of my head before we separated. “See you tomorrow little sister.”
“I’m gonna crash at Dad’s tonight. Ky you wanna come snuggle?” Kyden shot him a look that was far from amused. “Oh come on, I thought your rules only extended to females.” Chris ribbed him. I was curious what he was referring to though.
“Rules?” I asked.
“I don’t sleep with anyone Princess.”
“Hmph. I find it really hard to believe that you don’t sleep with the girls from your shows.” I retorted.
“It’s not sleeping that we do, Princess and when we’re done I say goodbye. I don’t spoon, or cuddle or do mornings after or any of that other bullshit.”
“Yes, how unreasonable of a girl to expect any decency or consideration after giving it up to you.” His eyes darkened and a scowl covered his face.
“You think they come to me half dressed and lust crazed looking for a good cuddle? They know exactly what they’re getting and I can assure you they’re plenty satisfied when I’m done.” He growled.
“On that note, goodnight. You kids try to play nice.” Chris waggled his eyebrows and made his exit.
“Well Casanova,” I did nothing to try and hide my contempt for his debasement of my gender. “Your choices are the couch or the princess bed. You can take your pick. There are extra blankets in the closet by the stairs.” I informed him before making my way up the stairs. I was beyond exhausted and wanted nothing more than to crawl between my soft sheets and sink into a blissful sleep. Bas followed me and I heard Kyden trailing behind him. I almost laughed myself trying to picture him wrapped up in pink blankets and the sparkly gauze canopy that draped around my old bed. That would certainly be a sight and a good blackmail photo.
Chapter 9
The next morning I woke to the sound of a doorknob rattling and the bedroom door scraping over the carpet. I slowly pried my eyes open. The sun was already streaming in through the curtains and Bas’ face was still buried in the pillow next to mine. He started to stir at the same time I remembered the sound that woke me. I heard a sharp intake of breath and snapped my head toward the door way to see Lissa standing there staring at Bas lying next to me in the bed. Her face was a mix of betrayal and outrage.
“Crap.” I muttered under my breath, but it was enough for Bas’ eyes to finally pop open and upon seeing my face he followed my gaze.
“I knew it. I knew you were going to sleep with her.”
“Calm down Liss, it’s not like that.” He pulled the covers back and stood to face her. I remained in my spot on the bed, but I sat up, which made me feel slightly less vulnerable with an irate girlfriend glaring daggers at me.
“Don’t tell me to calm down. I caught you in bed with that slut.” Her shouting brought Chris into the room to see what was going on. I had to assume that he had let himself in this morning, presumably to raid my food since all his dad usually has in the cupboards is organic, whole grain, high fiber, super food. He had to have let her in as well.
“I’m sorry.” He apologized, confirming my suspicions. “She said she was just here to talk to Sebastian. I didn’t know she was gonna freak out.”
“On what planet would any girl not freak out when finding her boyfriend in bed with someone else?”
“The one where they’re not actually screwing each other. It’s really not a big deal. They used to sleep over all the time together in high school.” Chris’ attempt to rectify the situation had the opposite effect.
“Even better.” She glared at Bas. “You’ve been sleeping with her for years and you lied to me about it.”
“Wait, no. I didn’t mean like that. I meant they just slept in the same bed. Key words being just slept.”
“Right. I’m not that naïve so you can quit trying to cover for them.” Chris just put his hands up in surrender and took a step back from her.
“Liss we’re both still in our clothes for fuck’s sake. If you would just stop being so damn emotional for five seconds you’d realize I’m not lying to you.” Oh no. Wrong thing for Bas to say. Apparently I hadn’t taught him anything about dealing with ticked off females, because you definitely don’t accuse them of being emotional.
“I. Don’t. Fucking. Care. You were in bed with her.” She said the last part like I was some kind of disease she was afraid of catching. “You should have been home. With me, but you weren’t. You were here, sleeping next to another woman.”
“And I just told you nothing happened. When I told you I was coming over here to check on her last night, you told me not to come home, so where did you expect me to be?”
“Not in bed with her.” She yelled.
“She’s my sister, Liss. Why are you making a big deal out of it?” Chris and I made eye contact and silently agreed to give them their space to work this out or yell it out, without an audience. Chris turned and quietly left the room and I got up and started to move toward the door to follow, but she stopped me in my tracks.
“Don’t you move you home wrecking whore!” There was so much acid in her voice, I almost felt a physical sting. She turned back toward Bas. “She’s not really your sister. You should have slept on the couch!”
“She is my sister and I don’t know how many ways I can explain it to try to make you understand that. But you’re not going to stand here, in Jaxyn’s house and verbally assault her.” She huffed, taken aback by Bas asserting himself like that. I’m not sure what she had been hoping for, but whatever it was she didn’t get it. She redirected her anger back on to me. “Are you happy now skank? You got what you wanted.” I started to speak but Bas didn’t give me the chance.
“Enough, Lissa. I’m done talking since you’re not listening. If you’re just going to continue to hurl insults and accusations, you need to go.” If dirty looks could kill, Bas and I would both be dead.
“Fine.” She snapped and then stormed out of the room, down the stairs and out of the house, slamming the door behind her.
“Bas, you should rethink this and go after her. I don‘t want to come between you two.” I tried to reason with him.
“No! I’m done giving in to her. It’s bullshit that she doesn’t trust me. She’s acting like a jealous bitch.” He practically shouted at me.
“But you love her.” I reminded him.
“It doesn’t matter. She’s done nothing but attack me and accuse me of cheating all week.”
“Then go right now. Show her that she matters.”
“I’ve showed her that every damn day this week by staying away from you and I’m not doing it anymore. I’m not going to leave you hanging because she’s insecure.”
“Hey, we’re good, and we’re always going to be good. She’s not going to change that. Our friendship will survive your relationship with her, it’s just going to take time for her
to see that I’m not trying to take you away.”
“Jazz, you’ve been my best friend since kindergarten. If she wants to force me to choose, then I’m going to choose you.”
“Not over this. I love you Bas, which is why I’m not going to let you ruin things with the girl you love because of your pride, or your misguided attempt to defend me. She’ll come around to me, but in order for that to happen, you have to go after her.”
“No.” The withering look he gave me said our conversation was over, then he turned and walked out of the room.
“Stubborn mule.” I mumbled under my breath as I threw myself back on the bed and stared up at the ceiling. Things were such a mess. I came back to repair my relationships, not destroy everyone else’s. If Bas was planning on proposing to her before I came back, then I knew she was special and I couldn’t let him blow it. That night in the restaurant I’d gotten the feeling that Lissa suspected there was something more than friendship between Bas and I. She wasn’t the first girlfriend he’d had who thought I was trying to steal her man. I couldn’t blame her entirely either. I know how hard it would be for me to understand a relationship like ours if I was looking at it from the outside, especially if it were my boyfriend and another girl.
I had no idea what to do to convince her I didn’t have feelings like that for Bas. Our one and only kiss had been clumsy and awkward and left us both embarrassed and unfulfilled. It was during our eighth grade year. With all of the new hormones and social pressures to start dating, we both suffered from delusions for a brief period when we convinced ourselves that we felt something more and owed it to each other to pursue it. However, after that one kiss we both knew without a doubt that we would never be more than friends. It had literally felt like I was kissing a relative, his reaction had been much the same and we both agreed never to speak of it again.
Again I thought of how different kissing Kyden would feel. There would be nothing awkward or brotherly about kissing him. Ugh. Knock it off. That was the last thing I needed to be thinking about. His lips wouldn’t be coming anywhere near mine no matter how tempting they were, but I couldn’t resist taking a peak into the princess room to see if he was still asleep. He hadn’t appeared at all when Lissa was yelling.
If I was in danger of being attracted to Kyden in all his arrogance, then I knew I was precariously close to falling over that ledge when I looked down at him tangled in my hot pink sheets. Asleep there was a gentleness to his face that I hadn’t noticed beneath the smug expression and crooked grin he usually wore. He always looked devastatingly handsome but right now, he was more than that. The peacefulness and vulnerability of his rest made him beautiful in a way I never thought a man could look. There was no furrow in his brow or tension in his jaw. He wasn’t trying to reign in his every thought and emotion and bury it behind a cocky exterior.
Suddenly I found myself wondering about his past and what he had to hide. He’d mentioned his mother but was he close to her, were his parents still together, did he have any brothers or sisters? What had happened in his life to make him the unattainable bad boy? These were questions I couldn’t afford to dwell on lest they push me right over that edge. They were the things that would make him more … human; more … attainable.
I needed to put a stop to that line of thinking. It wouldn’t do me any good to try and unravel his story. He wasn’t a puzzle for me to solve. He was heartbreak waiting to happen. Really adorable heartbreak, snuggling with my Beauty and the Beast pillow. I slid my finger across the screen of my phone and opened the camera. I made sure the flash was off and as stealthily as I could manage I leaned over the bed to get a picture of him surrounded by pink, his head resting right next to Belle’s face. One second I was snapping the picture and the next I was on my back pinned beneath a hard, warm, nearly naked body.
“Good morning Princess.”
His body covered mine and his hands pinned my wrists on either side of my head. Every inch of my body hummed with an acute awareness of all the places our bodies connected. With nothing on but his boxer briefs, our hips were aligned and his strong thighs pressed into mine. His bare chest hovered just inches above me and I breathed in his distinctly male scent; a seductive combination of his body wash and natural musk.
“I think I’ll take this.” He shifted my wrists into one hand and held them above my head while wriggling the phone out of my grasp. He slid his fingers across the screen and I can only assume he deleted the picture I had taken. “That wasn’t very nice Princess.”
My heart rate was beating so quickly. I was sure he could hear it. My thoughts were such a jumbled mess that I couldn’t focus enough to form a coherent sentence. All of my senses were on overload because of his nearness. He chuckled softly and lowered his upper body until every part of him was pressing down on me. With his nose he traced the outline of my jaw until his face was nuzzling my neck. He inhaled deeply and let out a sigh. “Mmmm. If this is what I’m missing out on waking up to I may have to reconsider my stance on sleepovers.”
I felt the briefest touch of his lips, and his tongue darted out to taste my skin on a path from my shoulder up my neck to my ear. I let out a gasp, as every neuron in my body fired off and I was lit up in a frenzy of need. With his weight still pinning me to the mattress, I could do nothing to escape his tantalizing assault on my flesh. He pulled my earlobe between his teeth and nibbled before abruptly releasing my arms and lifting himself off the bed. I was still stunned in place as I watched him throw on his discarded clothing and saunter out of the room without sparing a second glance. It was a full two minutes before my breathing slowed down and I could process the signals from my brain to my body telling me to get up.
After a lengthy shower I dressed and went downstairs to find Chris and Bas lounging in the living room and an enticing aroma wafting from the kitchen. My stomach rumbled and I followed the delicious breakfast smells. Kyden was standing barefoot in my kitchen over the stove wielding a spatula, flipping omelets and stirring fried potatoes. There was something intimate about the whole scene that made butterflies take up residence in my stomach.
“Hungry, Princess?”
“Not really.” I tried for indifference but my traitorous stomach chose that moment to let out another fierce growl. He chuckled and turned to pull four plates out of the cupboard. He obviously felt at home in my kitchen.
“Sit.” He commanded and I obeyed. He dished up a plate and set it on the table before me.
“Umm, thanks.”
“Smells good. Food done?” Chris asked joining us. He immediately grabbed a plate and piled it high with food before taking the seat next to mine. He was closely followed by Bas who dished up equally daunting portions and claimed the seat across from me.
“Mmmm. Wow, this is amazing.” I said after taking my first bite. There were bits of cheese, bacon, onion and chives in the omelets and I was convinced that there was nothing this guy couldn’t do well.
“Much better than Nutter Butters in strawberry milk, that’s for sure.” Bas teased me for my guilty breakfast pleasure.
“Princess, cookies aren’t breakfast.” The seat on my other side was pulled out and I glanced over to see Kyden setting down his own plate and two glasses of orange juice. He slid one over in front of me and lowered himself into the chair.
“Thank you, but they are if you put them in a bowl and add milk. This is really amazing too though. Thank you for cooking.”
“You’re welcome.” He flashed a smile that was almost sheepish, like he was embarrassed to be thanked for doing something nice. Probably wasn’t something he was used to.
“Hey, where’s our juice?” Chris whined.
“You dickheads can get your own.” Chris scoffed, but got up and grabbed a cup before digging in the fridge for the juice.
“You really have to get a coffee pot, Jazz. I can’t survive without my morning brew.” Bas moped.
“Nope. I don’t drink that sludge, so if you want coffee when you’re here you can buy t
he coffee pot.”
“We’ll pick one up when we go shopping later.”
“Shopping?” I raised an eyebrow at him.
“You need to get stuff for dinner because I’m pretty sure we just cleaned you out and I’m going to need to pick up a few things I’ll need over the next week or so.” I took that to mean that he didn’t plan on fixing things with Lissa any time in the near future.
“Oh man I can’t wait for dinner.” Chris said excitedly before shoveling another bite of egg into his mouth.
“Man how can you already be thinking about dinner when you’re still eating breakfast?” Bas asked his brother.
“Easy, I haven’t had her cooking in three years.”
“Who said you’re even invited? I’m cooking for my brother’s family.” He just laughed.
“Like I said, I haven’t had your cooking in three years. The fact that it was announced that you are making dinner is all the invitation I need. So what are you making?”
“I was thinking I would make lasagna.”
“And I was hoping you would say that. Oh and you have to make cheesecake, please say you’ll make cheesecake?”
“Strawberry okay with you?” I asked sarcastically.
“Hell yes!” I just shook my head and sighed. I forgot how excited Chris got about food.
“So you two can go do your shopping and we’ll head back to our place and meet you back here this afternoon.” It seemed Kyden had invited himself for dinner as well. I told them if they were coming, they might as well bring all of the guys.
Everyone cleaned their plates; Chris even went back for seconds after devouring his first heap. I was rinsing dishes and loading them into the dishwasher when Kyden came to stand beside me. Bas and Chris had already moved out of the kitchen so it was just the two of us. He took the dishes I was rinsing from my hand and began loading them for me. “You cooked, you don’t have to do the clean up as well.” I tried to protest.
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