by Starla Kaye
Gloriana watched Elizabeth as she swept her gaze over Rowan’s powerful, handsome body. She saw the flare of interest in her eyes. Gloriana felt a second of jealousy before letting it go. But it irritated her that someone had deliberately tried to cause a problem for Thomas and Rowan.
“Rowan is not a callous lover. He is very loyal.” Both Elizabeth and Rowan glanced at Gloriana’s fierce defense of him. True, she hadn’t known him long, but she had decided to love him along with Thomas. She didn’t love easily, but when she did love, her loyalty was steadfast. “And I do not like someone going about spreading tales about Thomas, either.”
Elizabeth smiled in approval. “Nor would I, but the man is dead now. His tales died with him. As far as I know, he only told my husband about the matter one time when they were sharing drinks together. He tried to spark an interest in Abernon, which didn’t end well for him.”
She heaved a deep sigh. “But his admission angered my husband. It made Gavin even more determined to keep James from Thomas.”
Rowan fisted his hands at his sides. “He cannot judge Thomas by this matter! And, know you this; I am your brother’s first and only male lover.” He ground his jaw. “Know you this as well, I will walk away from him forever if necessary. Thomas needs and deserves his son.”
Gloriana gasped at his warning. “Nay, Rowan!”
Thomas stirred on the bed and drew their attention. His eyes were slightly glazed with weakness, but he said grimly, “You will not walk away from me.” He drew in a ragged breath, struggling not to cough. “I want my son, but I will not make such a great sacrifice as to lose you.”
“Thomas,” Rowan began.
But Thomas shook his head to stop his protest. “My son does not even want to be with me. He hates me. He told me as much the last time I tried to speak with him about coming to Montrose with me.”
Gloriana, and clearly Rowan too, hadn’t known about that. She gaped at him. How could James have spoken so cruelly to his father? How could he have hurt him so badly? Were he here in front of her, she would have shaken him by his ears.
It was Elizabeth who said softly, “James was but eight when he said that. He had not seen you since two years before that time. He hardly knows you, Thomas. You cannot hold a child’s fears against him.”
At once Gloriana regretted her angered thoughts about the boy.
“She is right, husband,” Gloriana said. “I feared you, too, when I first met you. You can be rather intimidating. I can only imagine what a mere lad would think of you, a father to him and yet a stranger.”
“You no longer fear me, wife.” Thomas’s gaze softened as he accepted her gentleness, her reasoning. “Mayhap there is hope that I can become less fearful to James as well.” He looked to his sister. “I wish to see James on the morrow, when I am stronger and out of this bed.”
Elizabeth worried her lower lip before saying, “He is not here, brother. Gavin fostered him to our neighbor over a month ago.” Thomas sat up, had to brace himself on his arms, and glowered murderously. “Yet he said nothing of this in the message he sent to me? Yet he demanded—aye, demanded—that I come here with my wife and Rowan to talk to him about James?”
She shook her head, looking guilty. “Nay, he refused to even answer your message. It was I who wanted you all to come here. I who hope to find a way for you and my husband to make peace. I who want you to make peace with your son. But first it must be made with Gavin. He can be a very trying, very stubborn man.”
Gloriana had been listening in amazement, surprised at Elizabeth’s manipulation and daring, impressed as well. “Yet your husband allowed us entry here. Even when he clearly either strongly dislikes Thomas or hates him.”
Now Elizabeth smiled in mischief. “A wife has her ways. He likes sharing a bed with me more than sleeping alone.”
Gloriana blinked and then giggled. “We really must get to know one another better.” Rowan snorted, though he sounded amused.
Thomas lay back and grumbled about conniving women. Then he reached for Gloriana’s arm and tugged her so that she all but fell on the bed beside him. “I will confront Abernon on the morrow. For now I need to have my lady at my side, making me feel better, showing me her wifely ways.”
Elizabeth walked toward the door, nodded for Rowan to follow her. “There is a maid here who says she knows you. She has asked to see you again, if you were interested.” Rowan glanced back at Thomas and Gloriana. His gaze heated, but he sighed and left the chamber. “As long as I do not have to face your husband…” His words trailed off as he closed the door, but Gloriana worried for him.
***
Thomas had been watching Gloriana sleep for about an hour, worried at the dark circles of weariness still under her eyes. Their ride here had taken much out of her. And then she’d nursed him through his illness. But the tempting scent of her, the ache of longing he felt were too powerful now. He gently shifted her hair out of his way and nibbled at her neck.
She stirred, slowly coming awake. He trailed the tip of his tongue over her small ear lobe and she shivered. “Wife, I have need of you,” he said huskily.
He shifted over her, careful to not crush her, and rubbed his hard cock against her woman’s place.
She smiled up at him and spread her legs. “Tis fortunate then that I have need of you, husband.”
He put a hand over her mound, slid a finger inside and grinned, pleased to find her moist already. “You are ready for me.”
“Always.” She put a hand to his face and studied him for a second. “You are sure you are up to this?”
Thomas used his arms to brace himself above her and drove inside in one long slide. He sighed in satisfaction. “Most definitely.”
With a sigh of her own, she clasped her legs around his back. “I have missed this, my lord. I am most impatient.” She arched up to meet his drives.
“As am I.” Well pleased with his wife, Thomas gave way to his fierce need of her. He took her steadily faster and faster. Thrust deeper and deeper, grunting as she worked him with her clenching inner muscles.
All too soon he felt her explode around him, heard her precious cries of release. He, too, reached that point but tried to force her legs to free him, panting in strain when she refused to let go.
“Glori, you must—“
She glowered up at him and held him tighter. “Nay! You will not pull out of me this time.” “You have not drunk the tea,” he gritted out, grimacing in near-pain as he fought against shooting into her body. “I must—“
“I drank your special tea only the one time, Thomas. I poured it out the window each time after that.”
“You what?” he growled. She had betrayed him, gone against his wishes. He tried to withdraw again.
She refused to allow it, pushed her legs down on his back with more strength than he’d thought she had. This time he couldn’t stop himself. The desperate need in him was too strong. Her warmth around his throbbing cock was too much. His body went wild. He pumped in and out frantically until he roared out at the same time he filled her with his seed.
With a satisfied sigh, she lowered her legs.
But Thomas was furious. He rolled off of her and climbed out of the bed. “You deceived me.”
“Did you not deceive me as well by forcing those teas upon me?” Her face was grim with anger, too.
“I had already told you I could not give you a child,” he gritted out, pacing the room. She sat up in the bed, and he tried not to look at the naked woman he treasured, yet now felt betrayed by.
“What will you do if we find that I am, in fact, with child? Will you force a tonic down me to get rid of the babe?”
He heard the fear in her voice and saw the tears in her eyes. But it was his own fears that held him captive right now. Fear of losing her in birthing. Fear of failing another child as a father. He found his braies and pulled them on, and then his tunic and boots. He strode toward the door, stopping to look back at her.
“I could not d
o that, but I am not sure I can live with a wife who tried to trick me.”
He opened the door, walked out and closed it, and then leaned back against it in turmoil. He listened in anguish to her heartbroken cry of, “Yet I was expected to let you trick me.”
Chapter Nine
God, what have I done? Thomas drew in a deep breath filled with shame at the way he’d treated Gloriana. He’d have to find a way to make things right between them. She was forcing him to truly face his feelings about having another child. As Rowan had told him many times, he was being a fool about the matter. She wasn’t asking too much of him, but he’d been willing to give too little of himself.
He rubbed a hand through his hair, trying to calm down. What exactly were his reasons for not wanting to have another child? He’d long claimed—to himself—that he couldn’t risk endangering another woman to give him another child. Sarah shouldn’t have died because of giving birth to James. And yet she’d wanted a baby. She’d known the risks of childbirth and accepted them. The worst had happened in her case, but it wasn’t anyone’s fault…not his and not hers. It had simply happened. Losing Sarah had been a tragedy that he’d felt guilty about for many reasons. But losing Gloriana… He closed his eyes and struggled against the nearly overwhelming fear that filled him at such an idea. He couldn’t imagine his life now without her in it. But she desperately wanted a baby, so much that she was willing to risk going behind his back by not drinking the tea he’d tried to force upon her. He still didn’t think she’d known exactly what it was, but she’d evidently sensed something. They had tricked each other. And he hated that.
Thomas shoved away from the door. It was time he started dealing with the jumble he’d made of his life. He’d take back control one step at a time, beginning with confronting Gavin Campbell. With that goal in mind, he marched down the long hallway to the lord’s bedchamber. Dawn was approaching and he fully intended to be on his way to get James within the hour.
Thomas pounded on the heavy wooden door, unconcerned if he infringed on a private moment between his sister and her husband. “Abernon! I must talk to you. Now!”
“After we break our fast,” Gavin called back, sounding annoyed.
“Now!” Thomas would not be put off. “If I have to break down this door to talk to you, I will.”
He heard the rustling of bed linens, followed by angry footsteps crossing the wood floor. Then softer footsteps hurried after the first ones.
It was Elizabeth who opened the door. She looked worriedly at him, standing there in her chemise with her fiercely scowling husband behind her. “Should you be out of bed? Are you all right?”
Thomas couldn’t help softening a bit at her concern. “I am much better this morn. Do not fret about me.” He still felt weaker than he should, but it wasn’t going to stop him from what he intended to do.
With that in mind, he fixed his gaze on Gavin. The man of similar height and build was naked and appeared not to care about the fact. His wide shoulders were stiff, and he clearly didn’t want Thomas there right now. But Thomas was determined to see this through.
“We talk in private, or we talk in here with Elizabeth present. It matters naught to me. But I will speak with you now. I will know to which of your neighbors you have sent my son.”
Gavin’s mouth tightened and his eyes flashed with warning. He looked ready to physically lift Elizabeth out of the way. Again, his sister intervened. She nudged her husband back and made room for Thomas to enter the room. “I will hear this discussion.” She gave neither man a choice.
His brow wrinkled in vexation, and then Gavin stormed across the chamber to drag on his braies. He didn’t bother with donning a tunic. At the same time he went to partially dress, Elizabeth went to retrieve a cloak from atop a second trunk and pulled it over her nightclothes.
Thomas closed the door behind him and tried to control his temper. He stood there, fisting his hands at his sides, torn between doing what he’d come here for or going back to Gloriana and begging her forgiveness. Evidently Elizabeth picked up on part of his distress, maybe because he kept glancing at the door.
“You have argued with your wife, have you not?” his sister questioned, disapproval and sympathy on her pretty face. “I recognize the guilt in your expression; see how you fight not to go back to her.”
His gaze darted to Gavin, who actually appeared calmer now.
They shared a man’s second of understanding about dealing with a woman. Once more Thomas pulled on his patience. “Tis a private matter, but one I must deal with later. She needs time away from me for now. Time to—”
Elizabeth sighed and shook her head. “Time to remember how much she loves you.” Thomas closed his eyes for a second and blew out a frustrated breath. “I can only hope she loves me enough.”
He focused on Gavin once more. “We have two issues to settle, Abernon. I cannot fix my problem with Gloriana until I deal with these issues.”
Gavin perched on the edge of a trunk by one of the windows. A cool breeze fluttered the edges of the oiled paper window covering behind him. The candle on the bedside table flickered, and the smell of melting wax drifted about the chamber. As he stretched out his long legs, the man narrowed his eyes. “I assume you want to talk about Rowan and James.”
“Listen to my brother, husband. Be as fair in your judgment with him as you are in dealing with your many people.” Elizabeth stood beside him and put a gentle hand on his leg. “You are a good man, this I know.”
He nodded, seemed to slump a bit at her manipulation. “Speak.”
It irritated Thomas that he couldn’t read his brother-in-law’s expression. His jaw was set; his posture was stiff. Yet he appeared to be waiting and ready to listen. Thomas prayed he’d have the patience to not make matters worse. Much depended on what he said now.
He forced himself to meet Gavin’s eyes. “Elizabeth has already explained to me that you have been told Rowan and I are lovers. I will not deny the truth of it.”
His stomach knotted as he watched the other man’s face, saw the expected tightening of the muscles in his cheeks. He really didn’t want to have to explain himself, but he made an effort anyway. “What happened between us came about due to certain circumstances. Understand that I make no excuses for what we did. Nor for what we continue to do.” He watched his brother-in-law. “Until Rowan, I was never drawn to another man, could not even imagine being so.”
Gavin studied him intently, but remained silent. Elizabeth kept her calming hand on his leg, gently squeezed it.
Thomas thought about Rowan. He thought about the horrors his friend had survived growing up and yet turned into a man of such loyalty, such honor. “There is no other man that I trust with my life or with Gloriana. We went through much, fighting on the battlefields together in Tunis. We saved each other’s lives time and again. Our bond was special because of that. The other … cannot be explained. It just is. In truth, I care not how you feel about my relationship with Rowan.”
“What about Gloriana?” Gavin asked.
This wasn’t something Thomas wanted to talk about in front of his sister. He hesitated, trying to figure out what to say.
“Gloriana loves Rowan, too, husband,” Elizabeth said softly. “As we cared for Thomas while he was ill, neither would leave his side for long. I observed them. I saw the way she looked at him and saw how she worried about him.”
She looked from Gavin back to Thomas. “While her feelings are strong for your first knight, brother, it is you who owns her heart. There are many levels of love, from what I have observed. You are fortunate to have two people who love you so much.” Again, Thomas hoped he had not destroyed Gloriana’s love for him by how harshly he’d spoken to her. He couldn’t imagine living without her. He refused to live without her!
“I have decided whatever goes on between you, Rowan, and Gloriana should not be my concern. I know my wife believes I can be unreasonable about men loving men.” Gavin looked at Elizabeth, clearly wanting
her to understand him. “It is not truly so. I simply do not encourage such actions, or desire for such actions to in any manner harm others. Such as James.”
When he saw Thomas about to speak, he held up a hand to stop him. “I do not believe you would do anything to harm James.”
Thomas felt a wave of relief at having the problem about Rowan finally settled. They did not flaunt their relationship in front of anyone, except for Gloriana. And she was now a big part of it. Still, there was something in Gavin’s eyes that warned him matters about his son were far from settled. He grew tense again, held to his strained patience.
“Yet you do not want me to take James home with me to Middlemound,” Thomas said it as a statement and not as a question. His stomach tightened as he waited for the other man’s response.
Gavin jutted out his chin. “All of us in this room know that James is not really your son.”
Thomas’s nostrils flared. He dug his nails into the palms of his fisted hands. “He is my son and I have always claimed him. Mayhap I was unprepared until now to act his father, but he is my son.”
He saw Elizabeth’s eyes mist over and her lower lip tremble at his fierce declaration. Gavin held his gaze and said grimly, “All at Montrose know Sarah let another man into her bed when you were away. All know how few times you and she had relations. The people there have not seen James since he was but a babe, but they would see his blood father in him. Not your dark hair, not your blue eyes.”
Thomas squared his shoulders, fought back his long-buried anger with his first wife. Times were difficult for them and between them. He had known about her cuckolding him. He could have stopped it, should have. But the past was the past. He could not change any of that.
“Sarah was my wife when she gave birth to James and died,” he stated forcefully. “The true father cared nothing about his son, or about Sarah. I offered the man a horse for James, although I did not have to offer him anything. As her husband, I had the right to claim the boy.”