As Long As I Have You (London Sullivans 1)

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As Long As I Have You (London Sullivans 1) Page 13

by Bella Andre


  “I’m your mother’s worst nightmare, aren’t I?”

  She grimaced. “Pretty much.”

  He digested the information. “You’re close to her, aren’t you?”

  She nodded. “As close as you are to your family.”

  He smiled. “That’s got to be a point in my favor, wouldn’t you say?”

  “Normally, I would. But I’m afraid that you could solve world hunger, end all wars, and invent the cure for cancer, and my mother might still feel that I’ve betrayed her by being with you.”

  His expression darkened. “I would never want to come between you and your family, Mari.” Then his hand found hers again. “But I don’t want to let you go. Not now that I’ve finally found you.”

  She loved the way he refused to give up on her. Her chest ached with longing, and her heart skipped a beat with the knowledge that everything she felt for Owen, he felt too. And yet her loyalty to her family at home was strong enough to hold her back despite the yearning.

  “I get where your mother’s coming from,” Owen continued. “Anyone would, given the circumstances of her breakup with Charlie. But if she could see how excited you were when you were talking with Gran about reopening the bookshop, if she could see the way your skin flushes and your eyes glow when we’re together—I can’t imagine she would want anything to steal away your happiness.”

  Owen’s words stopped Mari in her tracks. Yesterday, on the river, he’d said that she helped him to see things with his grandmother in a new light. Today, he’d just done the same for her with her mom. “You’re right that all she’s ever wanted is for me to be happy.”

  Which meant that despite a lifetime of hiding both her true feelings for England and her longing to own a bookstore from her mother in order to protect her from future emotional meltdowns, it was long past time for Mari to pull out every last stop to make Donna see that running the bookstore, living on Elderflower Island, and especially being with Owen were the keys to her true and lasting happiness. And no matter how difficult that task might be, after all the hurdles she’d already jumped over this week, she realized that she felt up to it. Only it wasn’t enough to send another email. It wasn’t even enough to make a phone call.

  “I’m going to ask her to come here,” she told Owen. “That way, she can see how wonderful my life on Elderflower Island is, and I’ll be able to talk with her, face-to-face, about any of her concerns or worries.” Though her stomach twisted at the thought of Donna walking into Charlie’s store, she said, “You’re right that she loves me enough to travel here to meet me and to listen. And because she knows how much I love her, too. Once she meets you, she’ll understand why you’d never hurt me the way Charlie hurt her, and she’ll give us her blessing.” Mentally, Mari was crossing every single finger. “She’s got to.”

  “She will.” He lifted her hands to his lips and pressed a light kiss to each of them. Her entire body was tingling as he said, “And until then, we’ll be friends. Really good friends. Until we can be more.” He brushed the pad of his thumb over her lips—miles beyond something just friends did but not quite a kiss. “Even if I want to kiss you so badly right now that it’s tearing me up inside.”

  Her breath caught in her throat. It was pure agony to have him so close and know she wouldn’t be able to throw herself into his arms and kiss him yet. “That’s how I feel too.”

  Owen continued to stare at her mouth for a lingering moment. “I should probably leave.”

  Before she could beg him to stay and to forget everything she’d just said about needing to iron things out with her mother first, he stood up.

  “I’m not going to hug you,” he announced. “If I do…”

  She stood too. “I know.” A hug would surely lead to kissing. Which, at this point, would lead inevitably to more. “I’ll see you tomorrow.”

  His gaze was lingering, heated. “Yes, tomorrow.”

  For a long moment, she wasn’t sure he would actually turn and leave. She could so easily picture him sweeping her into his arms, carrying her into the bedroom, and making love to her.

  Or maybe they wouldn’t make it that far. Maybe they’d simply rip each other’s clothes off in the living room and have gloriously hot sex on the rug.

  Yes. The rug definitely had her vote if it meant his arms around her and his mouth over hers. In fact, if he didn’t make a move soon, she was—

  “Everything you’re thinking, everything you’re wanting,” he said in a low, slightly pained voice, “I’m thinking and wanting too.” His gaze fell to her lips again before he tore it away. She got the sense that if he could have flown a transatlantic jet to pick up Donna Everett right this second and have her on Elderflower Island as soon as humanly possible, he would already have been gunning down the runway. “Once your mother is here, she’ll see how happy you are. How happy living your dream of selling books makes you. How happy everyone is to welcome you into our community. And then everything will be fine.”

  She wanted to believe it as much as he did.

  * * *

  After he left, she stared at the closed door for thirty seconds, maybe longer. It took every ounce of self-control not to run after him. To convince him that throwing caution to the winds was the best possible decision they could make.

  She knew it wasn’t, though. Not when so much was at stake. The most important relationship in her life was the one she had with her mom. And while it wasn’t perfect, it wasn’t one she ever wanted to lose.

  She didn’t want to lose Owen either.

  Fueled with determination—and other much warmer feelings that came straight from the center of her heart—she picked up the phone and dialed her parents’ home number.

  “Mari?” Her stepfather’s voice came over the line. He’d obviously seen her cell number on caller ID. “I’m so glad you’ve called. I was just about to call you.”

  “Is everything okay?”

  “Eleanor has been admitted to the hospital for emergency surgery.” Eleanor was her mother’s best friend and a surrogate aunt to Mari. “Your mother has gone to the hospital to be with her.”

  “Oh no. Is Eleanor going to be all right?”

  “I certainly hope so,” Gary replied. “Her appendix has flared up, and they’re planning to take it out before it bursts. Evidently, it’s a routine surgery but one that can have a somewhat difficult and painful recovery. Donna will be staying with her to cook and help her around the house until her daughter comes on Friday.”

  “Please let me know as soon as she’s out of surgery. I’d like to send her a get-well-soon bouquet so that she knows I’m thinking of her. I hope Mom isn’t feeling overwhelmed with it all?” If Mari had been in town, she would have volunteered to help as much as she could.

  “You know your mother—she always puts on a good front, even if she’s breaking apart inside. Which is why it’s so good to hear your voice, honey, and hear you sounding so well. Lord knows your mother certainly doesn’t need anything else to worry about right now.”

  Though Mari’s heart was sinking at the realization that there was no way her mother could come to England any sooner than a week from now—and that seven days of hitting the pause button with Owen was sure to feel like an eternity—Mari made sure to keep her voice upbeat as she replied, “Things are going well. I’ve had a chance to meet some of the locals, and they’ve all been really nice.”

  “I’m glad to hear it. I keep reminding your mother not to worry about you. You’re a bright young woman who has always had both her head and heart in the right place. I have every confidence in you. I’m looking forward to hearing all about your experiences when you get back.”

  It was on the tip of her tongue to explain that she had called to ask them to come to England because she wasn’t coming back. But given that Donna was likely already worried sick about Eleanor, the last thing she needed at the moment was another reason to panic. “Thanks, Dad. I don’t want to disturb Mom at the hospital, so could you let her know I
called? Whenever she’s able to give me a call back would be great.” And hopefully by then, Donna would be better rested and more able to take in what Mari needed to say to her.

  “Absolutely. She’ll be delighted that you called us.”

  Mari wasn’t at all sure about that, not once she explained her reasons for calling. “Love you, Dad.”

  “Love you too, honey.”

  She hung up the phone, letting out a big sigh. She’d known it wasn’t going to be easy, and that was before she’d considered unexpected complications like her mother being out of commission with a sick friend for a week.

  Seven long days before she could introduce her parents to Owen and everyone else on the island, and make absolutely sure that she had their blessing. Seven long nights of keeping her hands and mouth off him. Considering she hadn’t even known him until her arrival, it shouldn’t seem so impossible. But it really, really did.

  On the plus side, it meant she now had a week to get the store in as good a shape as possible. Mari knew it wouldn’t erase Donna’s feelings about the store having been Charlie’s, but it certainly wouldn’t hurt to have the business running smoothly.

  It was tempting to call Owen to ask him to cancel his evening plans and to continue sorting out the store with her. But while it would be easier to rely on Owen, or his sister, or even the cat to help make her smile, that was a cop-out.

  Now that she had made the decision to stay and run the bookstore, she was also going to fight for it. Her father, she finally realized, had been a fighter. He’d fought to stay sober. He’d fought to carve out a new life here on the island. He’d even fought for her happiness, in his own misguided way.

  At last, she finally understood—her happiness wasn’t up to anyone else. Not her mother. Not her brother. Not Charlie.

  It was up to her.

  And gosh darn it, she was going to be happy even if it killed her!

  She laughed out loud at the thought.

  But at least she was laughing, right?

  CHAPTER SEVENTEEN

  The next morning, after Mari was drinking her second cup of extra-strong cup of coffee to combat the sleeplessness that longing for Owen had pitched her into last night, she checked her email and found a message from her brother.

  Mari,

  Sorry it took me so long to reply. I saw your message just as I boarded my plane to Singapore, but then the in-flight Wi-Fi went out, and I was stuck watching bad movies while wishing I was out walking the Thames path with you instead.

  It’s great that you’re loving Elderflower Island. And it’s even better to hear that you’re going to try making bookstore ownership work. You’re right that I was not only hoping that was what you’d decide, I was betting on it too. Although—and I hope you don’t think I’m being a pushy older brother—you should take the word try out of the equation. You’re going to make it work, Mari. I have faith in your determination and abilities. You should too.

  I’m glad you’re out there in London living life to the fullest. I’m hoping to fly over to your neck of the world to see you soon.

  With love from a hotel room in Singapore,

  Carson

  Mari smiled. Carson was pushy. But he was also usually right. She’d sent him her email before finding Charlie’s stories and had been only partly committed to making the bookstore work at that point. Of course Carson was insightful enough to pick up on that. He would be glad to know that she’d made a firm decision to stay.

  Before she could email back to give him the news, the store’s buzzer rang. Heading downstairs, she saw that Owen had turned up with Alice. Mari knew she and Owen must have been thinking the same thing—that given their current kissing ban, it would be easier for the time being if they weren’t alone with each other. Which was why, when Jacob had dropped by fifteen minutes ago saying that he had a few hours off and wanted to see if she could use a hand in the store, she’d gratefully pulled him inside. At present, he was eating one of the scones she’d baked last night.

  Mari tended to bake when her brain was working overtime to figure out the solution to a problem. Last night, between bouts of bookshelf cleaning and sorting, she’d baked scones, lemon bars, red velvet cupcakes, and chocolate chip cookies. Mars the cat had even come up to the flat to keep her company while she measured and whisked.

  She’d all but cleared the shelves of the corner grocery. The owner, a man named Arjun, couldn’t have been nicer. On her third visit to his store in three hours, he’d jokingly asked her if she was planning to enter The Great British Bake Off.

  It had felt good to laugh, to be reminded that things were by no means doom and gloom. After all, she was on Elderflower Island with the entire contents of a bookstore at her fingertips, and everyone she’d met had been absolutely lovely.

  Especially the man smiling at her on the sidewalk outside her store.

  “Good morning, Mari.” Owen leaned forward to kiss her cheek, and though she tried not to react as anything but a friend, she couldn’t hold back a swift intake of breath at the feel of his lips. She knew he’d heard it by the way his hand found her waist, ever so quickly, but long enough to leave her tingly where he’d touched her.

  Alice was far more outwardly ebullient in her greeting as she gave Mari a kiss on each cheek. “It’s so good to see you. I’m sorry I wasn’t able to stop by again before today. I’ve been thinking of you and your back garden the whole time, though, I promise.”

  “It’s nice to see you too,” Mari said, smiling as she stepped aside to let Owen’s sister in. “Jacob is already here. He’s offered to take a stab at the Cooking section.”

  After Owen, Alice, and Jacob all said hello, Alice scanned the store. Mars was standing and stretching on the counter, his black fur standing up straight along his spine. “You’ve done so much since the last time I was here. I’m really impressed.”

  “Thank you,” Mari replied. “Although, I’m not sure I’ve made quite as much progress as I would have if I didn’t keep falling down one book-sized rabbit hole after another. Charlie’s section on the rock ’n’ roll history of Elderflower Island could fill a museum, and I find it all so fascinating that every time I look up, three hours have gone by and I’ve only dealt with two shelves, because I’m so busy reading.”

  Just then, Mars hopped off the counter and made a beeline for the open front door, not bothering to greet anyone when nature was clearly calling—as were the scraps of food surely waiting for him outside the pub’s kitchen door.

  “That’s why we’re here to help,” Jacob said. “I’m going to get stuck in cookbooks and food memoirs now. Any directions you’d like me to follow, or should I just get on with the way I’d like to see them organized?”

  Mari had spent enough time in bookstores over the years, both enjoying them and secretly dreaming of what it would be like to own one, that she had plenty of ideas and opinions about how she wanted her shelves arranged. At the same time, she was always open to learning from other people—especially when they had special knowledge on a topic. “I’d love it if you could set things up the way it feels right for you as a chef.”

  He looked thrilled. “I’m like a kid in a candy store, getting to play with all these lovely cookbooks. But be sure to let me know if my organization plan doesn’t work for you. My feelings won’t be hurt.”

  “Okay, will do.”

  “And how about I finish putting together the Gardening section,” Alice suggested, “then move outside to start weeding the patio garden?”

  “That would be great.” Mari appreciated the help more than she could ever adequately express. “I’ll bring down some of the baked goods I made yesterday so everyone can help themselves when they get hungry. I’ll also bring down mugs and tea bags.”

  It had already occurred to her that setting up a tea station downstairs in the store would be very helpful—for herself and employees, but also for customers. It didn’t need to be anything fancy like a full-fledged café, just a pretty table with
mugs and tea bags and sugar cubes at no charge. Something to make the store feel like home and encourage customers to stay awhile. And at the rate she was baking, she could also keep it stocked with an array of little cakes.

  “I’ll come up and help,” Owen offered.

  So much for not being alone with each other. Not that she was complaining, of course. Being with Owen, even if she couldn’t touch or kiss him, was a million times better than not being with him at all.

  Once they were in the flat, Owen’s eyes widened at the amount of food covering her countertops. “You’ve been busy.”

  “Some people take a shower when they’re hoping their subconscious will give them an answer to a problem—I bake.”

  He reached for her hands, pulling her closer. Closer than they should be given how much she longed to be in his arms…and never leave them.

  “Tell me what happened yesterday when you called your mother. Why can’t she come sooner?”

  Last night, after getting off the phone with her stepfather, Mari had sent Owen a short text message letting him know that it would be at least a week before Donna could come and that she’d give him all the details in the morning.

  “Her best friend, Eleanor, is in the hospital for an emergency appendectomy,” Mari explained. “Mom is taking care of her until Eleanor’s daughter can come to stay at the end of the week.” Mari sighed. “I didn’t feel right about saying anything that might freak out my mom while she was sitting in the waiting room at the hospital. But as soon as she’s gotten some rest, I’m going to ask her to come so that we can talk about everything face-to-face.”

 

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