As Long As I Have You (London Sullivans 1)

by Bella Andre

  “You should be happy. People who used to come to the shop are going to love the way you’ve preserved the essence of what Charlie created here while incorporating your unique changes. And people who are coming in for the first time are not only going to want to buy more books than they can carry home, they’ll also want to come back again and again.”

  “Has anyone ever told you that you’re brilliant at giving pep talks?”

  “What about pep kisses?” He was lowering his mouth to hers when the door opened.

  “Good morning, lovebirds!” Alice grinned as she handed over a bag. “I’ve got freshly baked apple cinnamon muffins. I was hoping to get a chance to give the patio garden a quick shine before everyone arrives. A little sprinkle of water and some dead-heading, if necessary.”

  “Go for it,” Mari said.

  The words were barely out of her mouth when Jacob and Bernard arrived with trays of one-bite breakfast quiches. Sue from the Chinese takeaway was going to bring egg rolls at noon. By the time Owen had jumped in and out of the shower, then changed into clean clothes, Jill and Oliver from the boathouse had brought two huge sets of colorful helium balloons, one to tie outside the shop, the other to put inside. And Alfie from the pub had come across with coffee.

  The rest of Owen’s family rolled in next. Tom had organized a harpist for the morning hours and an acoustic guitarist to play in the afternoon. Malcolm volunteered to run the register while Mari chatted with customers—he’d found the instruction manual online and knew the device inside out. Fiona had brought a half-dozen artful flower arrangements. Owen’s mother and father carried in a large cake container. And Mathilda, of course, was queen of her own personal Bookshop on the River corner of the shop.

  Owen had checked one of her fan message boards last night and found dozens of messages from Mathilda’s local readers who had learned of the bookshop’s reopening—and their favorite author’s role in making it happen—saying that they were planning to come and buy new copies of her books for his grandmother to sign for them. As soon as the first pictures hit the Internet, word would spread like lightning to her fans around the world. They would want to make a special trip to Elderflower Island just to take pictures in the Bookshop on the River set Mari had created.

  He’d alerted Mari that there might be a swarm of Mathilda Westcott fans descending today and that his family was on high alert to help out in case of potential crowd-control issues.

  Already, the shop was a hive of activity and chatter. Mari beamed as each person gave her a hug. She was so grateful for everyone’s help—he must have heard her say thank you fifty times already. They were all just as grateful for her.

  Especially Owen.

  * * *

  Elderflower Island Books officially reopened for business at ten a.m. By three that afternoon, Malcolm had rung up enough sales to run out of bags. Part of it was down to the incredible support the island locals were giving Mari and the shop, as each person who came in made sure to buy something before leaving. But it was also due to Mathilda’s fans coming out in droves to meet their literary hero for the first time in a year.

  Mari was thankful she had ordered a dozen extra boxes of Mathilda’s books. Granted, she’d thought the copies would last a few months—not that they’d be flying out the door at record speed on her first day. At present, Fiona was restocking the shelves for the fifth time, while Tom and Aria helped keep Mathilda’s fans in a happy and orderly line.

  It couldn’t be going better. The only problem was that Mari’s parents hadn’t yet arrived. She’d checked their flight details online and knew the plane had arrived on time. She’d sent several texts, but hadn’t heard back.

  Where were they?

  “Mari!”

  At the sound of her brother’s voice, she turned and practically ran into his arms, she was so happy to see him. At least, she would have run if she could have made her way through the swarms of customers.

  “Carson, I’m so glad you’re here.”

  After giving her a bear hug, he said, “Your store looks incredible! It’s night and day from what you showed me when you first arrived.” He grinned at her. “I knew you could do it.”

  “It feels amazing. I’ve never known it was possible to feel so satisfied…or so tired,” she added with a crooked smile. “It was worth every ounce of blood, sweat, and tears, though.”

  “No kidding. You should be ecstatic.” He looked around the store. “Mom and Dad should have gotten here a couple of hours ago, right? How did she react when she saw all this?”

  “Actually, they haven’t come yet. And neither one is responding to my texts or calls. Their plane landed on time, so it’s not that.”

  “That doesn’t sound like them. There must be a reasonable explanation.” Obviously sensing her unspoken worries that she had been trying so hard to push away, he added, “We both know Mom has some seriously deep-seated issues with your birth father—but there’s no way she’d let that stop her. Not after you specifically called to ask her to come.”

  “That’s exactly what Owen’s been saying,” Mari said.

  “Owen?” Carson raised an eyebrow. “Is he the man you told me about? The one who’s—”

  “In love with your sister.” Owen moved to Mari’s side and held out his hand. “Owen Sullivan. It’s great to meet you.”

  Mari watched Carson size up Owen for a few tense seconds before finally shaking his hand. “It’s good to meet you too. Mari mentioned you in an email, but beyond that, I’m afraid I don’t know much about you.”

  “Whatever you want to know, I’m happy to share,” Owen said.

  Mari instinctively reached for his hand, suddenly nervous that her brother might not like the one person she wanted him to approve of most. Though she couldn’t imagine what Carson might disapprove of, in her experience, big brothers tended to be overprotective at the most awkward times.

  “What was your relationship with Mari’s birth father?” Carson asked. “What do you do for a living? And how the hell did you manage to gain my sister’s trust—and her heart—so quickly?”

  Mari reeled from her brother’s pointed questions. But Owen didn’t look the least bit put out.

  “Charlie was my friend,” Owen said first. “He was a friend to most of us in here. Especially my family.” He gestured to the packed bookshop. “There are a good dozen Sullivans in the shop right now, and I’m sure you’ll meet all of them over the next couple of hours.” With that said, he continued on to Carson’s second question. “I manage my grandmother’s literary career.” He pointed to where Mathilda was holding court with her throngs of fans. “And I honestly have no idea how I managed to convince your sister to trust and love me…just that I’ll never stop being thankful that she does.”

  “You’re kind, helpful, encouraging, and honest, for starters,” Mari said to Owen. “And it doesn’t hurt that I adore your family too.” She turned back to her brother. “Seriously, the Sullivans are amazing. You wouldn’t believe how much they’ve done to help me.” Alice was within reach, so Mari pulled her over. “Alice, this is my brother, Carson. Carson, this is the brilliant and amazing Alice Sullivan, who is responsible for the gorgeous patio garden you’ll soon see in the back.”

  As Alice’s and Carson’s eyes met, Mari could have sworn she saw a bright spark of electricity arc between them.

  “Hello.” For the first time, Alice almost looked shy.

  “Hi.” Carson couldn’t stop staring. To the point where Owen was now adopting the overprotective big-brother stance on his sister’s behalf.

  Fortunately, just then Owen’s grandmother called him over. Alice was still standing beside Mari, blushing furiously, when suddenly, Mari felt a change in the air. One that had nothing to do with the obvious attraction between her brother and Owen’s sister.

  CHAPTER TWENTY-SIX

  Mari’s mouth went dry, just as her palms went damp and her heart began to race.

  Somehow, she managed to put on a smile a
nd walk across the shop as though she was perfectly at ease.

  “Mom. Dad.” She gave them each a hug. “It’s so good to see you both. Thank you for coming.”

  “We wouldn’t have missed it for the world, honey,” her stepfather said. “How fortunate that we were able to make your grand reopening.” He turned to Mari’s mom. “Don’t you agree, sweetheart?”

  But Donna looked nowhere near ready to agree to such a sentiment. In fact, she looked as though she’d rather be anywhere but in her ex-husband’s former shop.

  As her silence continued, Gary picked up the slack. “I’m sorry we’re late. Neither of our phones will connect to the British network, and the taxi driver got horribly lost.”

  “I’m just glad you’re finally here,” Mari said, though her stomach was clenching tighter and tighter with every moment of continued silence from her mother.

  “Why don’t you show us around?” her stepfather suggested.

  “Of course. You’ve already seen a little bit of Elderflower Island on the drive in, so you know how lovely it is. Everyone is so friendly here too.” She singled people out for her parents. “Jacob and Bernard own the café. Sue owns the Chinese takeaway. Alfie runs the pub. Jill and Oliver manage the boathouse. And then there’s the Sullivan family, who have been absolutely lovely and so helpful. Mathilda Westcott is not only the matriarch of the family, but also a bestselling mystery writer. Standing by Mathilda, holding the cup of tea, is her daughter, Penny, and the man next to her is her son-in-law, Simon. And then their five children. Tom is doing crowd control for his grandmother with that little girl, his daughter, Aria. Malcolm is manning the register for me. Fiona is the one by the window putting together a vase of flowers. Alice is talking to Carson. And then there’s Owen.”

  Despite her tightly clenched stomach, Mari smiled as she said his name. As though he knew she needed him—just as he always seemed to know—he excused himself from his grandmother’s side and crossed the room to her.

  “Owen—” She reached for his hand at the same moment that he reached for hers. “I’d like you to meet my parents, Donna and Gary Everett.”

  “Hello.” He shook Gary’s hand and didn’t make a big deal about the fact that Donna didn’t extend hers. “It’s wonderful to meet both of you. Your daughter is an extraordinary woman. You must be very proud of her. I know I am.”

  Instead of replying, Donna turned on her heel and bolted out the door.

  * * *

  Mari’s mother was moving so quickly, heading up the road past the boutiques and the café as though she were planning to make an escape via the bridge, that Mari had to jog to catch up with her.

  “Mom, wait!”

  It wasn’t until her mother reached the gates of the manor house that she finally stopped and sat on one of the benches, dropping her head into her hands.

  Mari’s heart was galloping in her chest—not just because of the speed with which she’d chased her mom, but because Donna’s reaction was even worse than she’d feared. She’d never seen her mother so angry before.

  Only, once she was close enough to sit beside her, Mari realized it wasn’t anger that had propelled her mother out of the bookshop. It was sorrow. Donna’s shoulders were shaking as she sobbed.

  “Mom, it’s okay. Everything’s okay.” Mari held her as she broke down. For so long, she’d feared sending her mother into another massive emotional breakdown. And just as she’d known they would, her mother’s tears broke her heart to pieces. “Please, let me explain.”

  At last, Mari’s mother lifted her head from her hands and wiped her eyes with her fingertips. “No, I’m the one who needs to explain.” Her words were ragged when she finally spoke. “My biggest fear was always that Charlie would come back into your life and take you away from me, just like his negligence almost took you away when you were a little girl. I had almost started to believe I was safe from that ever happening—but then, when he died, all my fears came true when you got on that plane. I told Gary, ‘She’s never coming back.’ And you aren’t, are you?”

  Mari didn’t want to lie, but she didn’t want to cause her mother more pain either. “I never meant to hurt you by coming here, I swear I didn’t. But I couldn’t stay away. I had to see where he lived, where he worked—had to learn more about the other half of where I came from. And I’d be lying to you if I said that I regret doing any of it. I would give anything to take back the pain my leaving, and deciding to stay in London, has caused you, though. I’m so sorry, Mom. I truly am.”

  “None of this is your fault.” Donna’s voice was so clogged with emotion, her words were almost indecipherable. “You don’t need to be sorry. I do. All your life, I’ve tried so hard to take care of you. To shield you from pain. And to guide you toward happiness. But…” Another sob emerged. “I blew it.”

  “You didn’t.” It was the last thing Mari had expected to hear her mother say. “I love you, and you know how much I appreciate everything you’ve done for me.”

  Her mother was shaking her head. “I held you back. Not just from your father. But from your true calling with books. As soon as I walked into the store, I could see it. Finally see what I’ve been trying to ignore for so long. You’ve never looked so happy. As much as I wish otherwise, the truth is that you belong here. In his store. In his country.” Donna looked as downcast as Mari had ever seen her. “Not mine.”

  Mari had been desperate for her mother see how perfectly she fit on Elderflower Island and in the bookshop. And yet, at the same time, she couldn’t stand to see her mom so sad. “You’ve always done what you thought was best for me. And I have been happy in California. I liked my job. I liked my friends and my hobbies.”

  “But you never loved any of it, did you? You’re so much happier here, aren’t you?”

  In her mother’s questions, Mari could hear a faint thread of hope that she might still say she wasn’t actually happier in England—and that she would sell the shop and flat and go back to Santa Monica. But Mari could no more give her mother false hope than she could stop being true to herself.

  All these years, she’d been searching for her place in the world. At last, she’d found it.

  “I am happier here,” she told her mother, hating that the truth hurt, but knowing it needed to be said anyway. “But had I come to Elderflower Island any earlier in my life, I don’t know if that would have been the case. For so long, I’ve secretly dreamed of what it would be like to live and work here, but I don’t honestly think I was ready to actually live my dream before now. If Charlie hadn’t passed away—”

  “You would still have come,” her mother said in a voice full of reluctant acceptance. “I always knew I was going to lose you one day. I should be happy that I got to keep you with me for so long. I’m trying to be happy for you.” Donna’s face crumpled again. “Even though I’m doing a terrible job of it.”

  “You’re doing just fine,” Mari said gently. “And you haven’t lost me. Yes, I want to live on Elderflower Island now and sell books, but I’ll still come back to California to visit as often as I can. And you and Dad can also stay here with me, as often as you like.”

  Her mother shook her head. Hard. “I can’t, honey. I can’t stay with you in Charlie’s flat. I can’t even stay on this island. You don’t know how hard it was to step inside his store. Even though he isn’t there anymore, and I know from Carson that you’ve completely redone things, I can still feel Charlie in the place. And that’s all it takes for the anger, the fear, the helplessness from that horrible day on Third Street to come rushing back.”

  It was enough that her mom finally understood what was in Mari’s heart. It wasn’t fair to expect her to be okay with being on her ex-husband’s turf overnight—or ever, maybe.

  “I know he let you down, Mom,” Mari said softly. “He let me down too. But he’s still my father. And even though a part of my heart may never stop being angry with him for walking out of my life and never coming back, another part of my heart will al
ways love him.” It was so much more than she’d ever admitted to her mother before. She let out a shaky breath as she decided to hold nothing back. “When I was cleaning the shop, I found some notebooks he wrote children’s stories in. Stories about me and him, illustrated with characters who look like us. Playing Conkers with Mars is one of the books. Now I know for sure that he didn’t forget me.”

  “Is that what you’ve thought all these years?” Her mother was clearly stunned. “That he forgot you?”

  “What else could I have thought when I never heard from him?”

  Donna looked like she was going to start sobbing again. “I swear I never meant to make you feel unloved. I’m so sorry, honey. So sorry for everything.”

  “I don’t feel that way anymore,” Mari said. “I know I’m loved, by so many people. And you don’t need to apologize to me for anything. All I truly want is for you to accept the life I’ve decided to live. Because when I’m here in London, when I’m working in Charlie’s bookshop—in my bookshop—I’m finally myself. Finally the woman I’ve always dreamed of being.” She paused for a moment before adding, “I also hope you’ll one day be able to accept the people I’ve decided to share my heart with. Not only the women and men of Elderflower Island who have already taken me in as one of their own, but also the wonderful Sullivan family who have gone out of their way to help me at every turn. Especially Owen.”

  “He’s in love with you,” her mother said. “I could see it in his face when he looked at you, and I could hear it in his voice when he told us how proud he is of you.”

  “I love him too.” Mari’s words came out in a rush. “I know the last thing you want is for me to fall for a charming Englishman. But he’s a good man, Mom. The best kind of man. If you give him a chance, I know you’ll see why I couldn’t help but fall for him. Your biggest fear was that I would leave one day. My biggest fear is you won’t be able to accept the man I love because he reminds you too much of Charlie.”