by Alta Hensley
“Good morning, beautiful.” Axel walked over and placed a mug of coffee in my hands as he leaned down to brush a kiss on my forehead.
“If you keep this up, you’re going to spoil me so much that you’ll never be able to get rid of me.”
“Well, maybe that’s my plan.” He winked at me as he bent his head, bunched his fist into my messy locks, and took possession of my mouth.
I moaned. Hunger fueled again.
“I made plans for us today. You need to get showered and get ready. I thought we’d take a boat ride to Catalina Island. The views all around are absolutely beautiful, and there’s this terrific restaurant I’d love to take you to.” He gently brushed at my cheek with his knuckles.
“One surprise after another with you,” I said as I sipped my coffee.
“You deserve it. I want you to feel the love I have for you every single day.” He took a swig of his coffee from a large mug. “And I want you to know I love you during the day too. We can’t always only operate during the night or we might as well start drinking blood.”
Quinn
Motoring in a small boat on the Pacific Ocean, I sat mesmerized by the entire trip. I couldn’t get over the scenery. Axel hadn’t lied when he said the island was beautiful. Surrounded by clear waters as far as the eye could see, sitting by the sexiest man, I was in heaven.
With the gentle hum of the engine low enough not to interfere with our conversation, we reminisced about our childhoods. Several times along the way, Axel pointed at dolphins and even a whale surfacing from the depths of the water. Watching nature in its glory, I thought this truly was becoming the best date of my life. The sun’s reflection off the water made everything sparkle, and I couldn’t help but be enthralled by the beauty of it all. I’d lived in San Francisco practically my whole life and never once appreciated the ocean like I did now. Experiencing it for the first time with Axel made it even more special.
Axel, leaning against the railing of the boat, wrapped his arms around my waist and pulled me into the shelter of his arms, lifting my chin to meet his gaze. “Watching your dark hair move in the wind is driving me insane. I’ve never seen such a beautiful woman in my life. You’re stunning, Quinn.” He placed a kiss on my forehead.
Axel turned me in his arms so that I faced the ocean, keeping me tight to his body. “Thank you for coming up here with me. It means more to me than you know.” He placed kisses on the nape of my neck. He hesitated just a moment. “We’re almost there. Are you getting hungry?” he whispered in my ear.
I stretched on my toes, turned my head to reach his mouth, and gave him a heat-searing kiss. “I am. Thank you so much for taking me here. It’s nice to step away from the nightlife of LA.”
He grabbed my hand, intertwined his fingers with mine, and led me into the restaurant, where we were seated almost immediately. It helped that Axel knew the manager and was able to get a reservation on such short notice. He had told me on the trip up how much he enjoyed this particular restaurant and how he would come up as often as he could, even though it took several hours to get there between LA traffic and the boat ride. The restaurant itself had a quaint, cozy vibe with an old wood deck that wrapped around the entire building, the view was even more spectacular here than on the boat ride up. The place sat atop a hill overlooking the ocean. The setting sun cast rays that danced on the water. All of it took my breath away. Throughout our dinner, I found it hard to pull my gaze from the view. I had never visited such a magical place before. So many firsts with Axel.
“So, what do you think? You’ve been awful quiet.” Axel’s voice pulled me out of my thoughts.
“There are no words. You have all these hidden jewels in your back pocket. How did you find this place?”
He smiled that sexy smile I loved so much as he reached across the table and gently stroked the back of my hand with his thumb. “Let’s go take a walk out on the balcony. The weather’s perfect. It’s not raining for a change.”
“I’d love to.”
Axel waved for the waiter. He ordered two glasses of red wine, paid the bill, then gently assisted me out of my seat before handing me my glass. Amazed at how perfect everything felt with him, I placed my hand in his while we walked out to the deck. I inhaled the scent of the ocean as the heels of my shoes clapped against the aged wood. I absolutely loved the smell of salt water in the air. Facing out toward the water, I lifted my face to feel the gentle wind blow against my skin. Axel brushed up behind me, slipping an arm around my waist.
“I told you it was beautiful up here,” he whispered as he nibbled where my ear met my neck.
“It really is. I can’t even express how incredible this is.”
“I’m glad you like it. I’ve never brought anyone else up here before, but I wanted you to share this place with me.”
I turned in his arms, taking a sip of my wine. I tilted my head to look into his eyes. “Not anyone? I find that hard to believe with all the women you’ve been with. Surely at least one lucky woman got to be blessed with this special place.”
“Just one,” he whispered. “And she’s wrapped tightly in my arms.” He pulled back, taking my chin between his thumb and finger. “And, just for the record, I haven’t been with as many women as you think.”
I tried not to roll my eyes or laugh. I gently punched him in the chest. “I know who you are, Axel Rye. You don’t need to lie to try to seduce me.”
“What are you trying to say? Do I have a bad reputation?” he asked with a wicked gleam in his eye.
“The Great Axel Rye. Need I say more?”
“You know, those words could get you into some serious trouble if you aren’t careful. You know what else The Great Axel Rye is known for?”
“Are you threatening me, you bad boy?” I giggled.
“I never threaten. I follow through on everything I say.” He leaned down and gently placed a kiss on my lips.
“Can I ask you a question?”
Axel nodded. “Anything.”
I was dying to know the answer. “If you grew up in such a bad home life, and your parents weren’t your examples, and you never have had any other serious relationships, then how did you become so good at it? How did you learn to love? To show love in the way that you do?”
He paused for moment as if he were trying to remember. “When I was about fifteen years old, I lived next door to this surfer and his wife. This man was so cool in my eyes. He worked some sort of construction by day, but whenever he got the chance, he surfed. His wife was gorgeous, and probably my first real crush.” Axel stopped and smiled. “I would look out my window at night and just watch them sit outside and talk. They always had a glass of wine or beer, and would sit under the stars and just laugh. They kissed, they cuddled, and they always appeared so happy. Their relationship seemed so perfect.” Axel’s smile melted away. “This was a huge contrast to my parents, who fought all the time if they were even together.” Axel paused and kissed the top of my head. “Am I boring you?”
I shook my head eagerly. “No, not at all. I love hearing about your past.”
Axel took a deep breath before continuing on. “Anyway, this couple next door was everything my parents weren’t. It was nice to see… love. Well, one night I could see the neighbors in the kitchen fighting. I mean really fighting. My heart sank, because this perfect couple I loved spying on was just like everyone else. Just like my screwed up parents. And just as I was panicking that this perfect little world I spied on was about to crumble, I watched him reach out to her, kiss her on the forehead and whisper in her ear. He held her, and she held him back. He caressed her back as she clung to him, desperate for his love. No matter what, they had that. Love. I knew that I would someday have that. I wouldn’t settle for half ass. I wouldn’t settle until I was with someone I couldn’t keep my hands off, and she couldn’t keep hers off me. I wanted love that would be forever displayed. I guess I owe my old neighbors for all my mushiness.”
“So you were a Peeping Tom gr
owing up,” I teased.
Axel started to laugh. “I guess you could say that.”
We both laughed, enjoying this evening that belonged only to us. Nothing else seemed to matter at that point, and we were oblivious to all that surrounded us. Kissing, loving, growing together as a couple. This date captured my heart.
“Do you want to know how many women I’ve woken up to the next morning, Quinn? How many women I’ve taken to my own special places? How many women I have obsessed about, how many I find myself thinking of nothing else but them? How many women I’ve trusted my heart with without planning to? One. The answer is only one.”
“Sometimes I feel like I need to wake from this amazing dream that I’m having. You’re everything I ever wanted in a man, and why you’ve chosen me is confusing.” I paused, searching for the right words. “You could have any woman you want. Someone who truly understands you and your life.”
“You are the woman I want.”
“Why?” I asked quickly.
“Why, what?”
“Why me? Of all the women you could have, out of all the women who want you, why me?” Taking a deep breath, he pulled me deeper into his arms. “Because you’re the only woman who genuinely is interested in me. You seem to care about the man inside, and not just the exterior. I know it sounds ridiculous when I tell you how alone I’ve been, since I’m never physically alone, but lately I’ve been in a dark place. I have this vision of a traditional love. I want a connection and a bond with someone that can never be broken. I want to be able to look into my lover’s eyes and no longer feel the shadows seeping in.” Axel turned me so he stared directly into my eyes. “For the first time in my life, I feel normal. I feel a new reason to get up in the morning. It is you. You.”
Quinn
I supported the phone between my shoulder and ear as I made some breakfast. I couldn’t help but wake Harrison up early to tell him all that had happened. After coming home last night, I’d hardly slept. So many things overran my mind, leaving me lost in a fog. I had to talk to someone about it.
Axel had wanted me to stay the night, but I decided it was best to come home and wrap my head around everything that happened. We had not only had sex, but we both had admitted to falling in love. Axel still wanted to see me today, so he was picking me up in an hour. Being apart for long seemed almost impossible for us both.
I’d been on the phone with Harrison for a while now. He seemed to think my growing relationship with Axel was meant to be. Harrison was happy for me and happy that Axel had me in such high spirits. From everything I’d told Harrison so far about Axel, Harrison knew we were in love. Harrison even jokingly started referring to Axel as hubby. Then, unexpectedly, Harrison asked, “What does Axel think about the book you’re working on? Did he give you a list of rules you can or cannot write about?”
I stopped and closed my eyes. I didn’t want to lie, but I didn’t want to confess my failure to reveal that secret.
“Well…” I paused to figure out how to make it less of a lie. “Axel and I haven’t really talked about it too much.” That much was true.
“Hmm,” Harrison said. “Maybe it’s better that way. He might be hesitant to fully open up to you. He may feel you are just using him.”
I sighed with relief. As usual, Harrison and I saw things the same way. My reasoning on not clarifying things about my true profession to Axel held a little more rationale now. Although the feeling didn’t last long as Harrison continued on.
“But maybe you do want to be honest. You don’t want to start things off by keeping things from him. But you don’t need to talk about it all the time. Last thing you want is for him to think you’re pumping him for information every time you two talk.”
I hated the feeling of being deceitful. This shouldn’t be so complicated. But if I were honest with myself, I knew keeping this secret for so long would upset Axel. Things were so good I just didn’t want to rock the boat.
Just as I finished cooking breakfast, Felicity walked into the kitchen. She had a big smile on her face. “Is that Axel?” she mouthed.
I shook my head and mouthed back, “Harrison.”
Felicity frowned and walked over to dish herself some eggs and bacon. She sat down facing me.
I cut my conversation with Harrison short, telling him I needed to finish eating breakfast and getting ready. I’d finished getting ready for a while now, but I could tell Felicity wanted to talk. I watched her shake her head disapprovingly as I hung up.
“You’re going to lose Axel because of this stupid book of yours,” she said. “Something tells me Axel doesn’t know everything about what you’re doing when you get back to San Francisco.”
The lump that had formed in my throat during my conversation with Harrison seemed to grow even bigger. “I know. I’m just not sure how to get out of this hole I sort of dug for myself.”
“Listen, I understand you aren’t intending to bad-mouth or disparage him, but I don’t think Axel will be so understanding. He’s going to feel like you’re using him and faking your relationship all to get close. It’s going to look super shady.”
I grimaced. “I’m not.”
Felicity shook her head as she took a large bite of eggs. “You might know that, but Axel’s going to see this book as a threat. How much does he know about you, anyway?”
I winced and looked down at my untouched breakfast. “He doesn’t know I write at all. I haven’t opened up about much.”
Felicity’s eyes popped wide open as she almost choked on her food.
“Please tell me you’re joking.” I shook my head. “You’re going to screw up a good thing. I hope this lie is worth it.”
“I’m going to fix it.” I nibbled on my fingernail. “I’m just not sure how or when.”
“The longer you wait, the worse this mess will be. You need to tell Axel.” Felicity stopped and seemed to ponder what she had just said. “Unless I’m reading too much into you and him? You like him, right?”
I knew I was blushing. My face felt as if it had increased in heat by several degrees. “I do. I’m falling in love.”
Felicity raised an eyebrow. “Love? Does Axel feel the same?”
“He says he does. Last night we… well we…”
“You guys had sex!” Felicity almost screamed. “Oh my god!”
I blushed even more and tried not to giggle. “Yes, and it was amazing.”
Felicity squealed in delight after I told her the details of my first time. She clapped her hands together, smiling in delight. “I knew you would end up in his bed. Who would have thought that you would be the girlfriend of the infamous Axel Rye?”
“The whole idea really confuses me. I’m not sure I can deal with the drugs and the clubs forever.”
“It won’t be easy.” Felicity grabbed the dishes and started to clean up. “Well, whatever you decide, I just want you to be happy. Be honest with yourself and follow your heart. Don’t let other voices and opinions get in the way of what you decide.”
9
Fucking Vanilla With Sprinkles
Quinn
Axel and I headed to a new restaurant opening near downtown. I had started to accompany Axel on more and more paid appearances. The attention made me a little uncomfortable, but it was worth it if I could spend more time with him. Plus, being with Axel gave me a self-confidence I never had before. My introverted ways seemed to vanish when I was on Axel Rye’s arm.
The place was crowded, and the media swarmed everywhere. I had taken a pill from Axel’s stash about an hour earlier, and I was feeling a bit edgy. It was some type of upper, but now I wondered if I needed a downer to help counter it. Axel hadn’t seemed too happy when I popped it in my mouth, but he hadn’t said anything either. I knew deep down it was bad to need drugs to help me cope with all the attention, but I was getting in the habit of it. It just worked. Axel, on the other hand, seemed to be doing drugs less, and barely drank. He hadn’t gone cold turkey or anything, but it did seem as if I
was alone in using some nights.
As bodies swarmed around us, Axel held me tight while posing for pictures before he grabbed me by the hand, leading me past the people and into the restaurant.
“You don’t need to walk the red carpet? Do any more interviews?” I asked, completely surprised. I had started getting used to standing to the side while Axel played the part of a famous person, but was really relieved I didn’t have to do it tonight.
“I’m doing my part,” he said. “I’m here and I’ve been photographed. I’m not really in the mood to do interviews.” He leaned in to place a soft kiss against my lips. “I just want to have a good meal with the most stunning woman I’ve ever laid eyes on. Nothing’s more important than you.” God the man was good with words.
I couldn’t help blushing. Axel always made my heart skip a beat. “I just don’t want you to get in trouble for not doing your job. I don’t want to get in the way.”
Axel pulled out a chair for me after the host led us to our table. “You are never in the way. Never. You actually make this all a hell of a lot more bearable for me. I hate this shit. You know that. I just worry all the time you are going to find this shit as old as I do and stop coming. I also don’t want you to think I’m ignoring you.”
“I can’t remember ever having someone make me feel so special before. I love how well you treat me.”
He smiled at me softly. “Good, because that is what is important to me. I love you, Quinn. There’s no question about that.”
My heart pounded against my chest and my breath caught. I could barely whisper, “I love you, too.”
Axel reached across the table and took hold of my hand. “Those are powerful words.”