by Alta Hensley
I forced myself to be brave. I took a calming breath to steady my nerves. I breathed evenly through my nose, slowly counting to five. I could do this. I had to do this. I had to fight back, or Jillian would kill me.
Before Jillian could react, my hand reached out, fingers connecting with the silver handle of the knife. When Jillian realized what I was doing, she lunged for the blade. But she wasn’t fast enough. Her eyes bulged in shock just as I stuck the blade into her upper arm.
Jillian screamed as she glanced down at her bloody arm in horror. Her dark eyes flashed with rage as she knocked the knife out of my hand, sending it flying across the ground. Jillian grabbed a hold of my neck and squeezed with a renewed, superhuman strength. Struggling for air, I realized I was going to die by Jillian’s hand. I had missed my chance.
Axel
My chest felt heavy as I walked back into the club. The realization that Quinn had probably left by now made my throat tighten, but knowing I was the one who’d turned my back on her hurt even more.
Go to her.
Those three words repeated over and over again in my mind, screamed from my soul.
I walked halfway to the VIP area when I finally couldn’t stand it anymore. I had to see if Quinn was still out there. Maybe she hadn’t left yet. Maybe I still had the chance to make things right. I needed to make it right.
I threw open the back door and froze in place, panic rising in my body as I watched the scene before me. With a burst of rage, I charged toward Quinn. She lay flat on her back, with Jillian on top of her, choking the life right out of her.
Suddenly Quinn snapped into a state of alertness, landing a nasty punch to Jillian’s jaw. Quinn reached to grab a jagged rock near her hand, crashing it down on the side of Jillian’s head. The blow sent her into unconsciousness and she collapsed on top of Quinn.
The silence deafening, I surged toward Quinn. “God, Quinn! Are you okay?” I pulled her from under Jillian’s body.
Quinn
The sound of Axel’s voice brought tears to my eyes. He was here! Help… a miracle… Axel was here.
Almost instantly, my entire body began to shake. My breath came out in ragged gasps. Air. I needed air. Jillian was dead! I killed someone! I took another’s life!
“I’m here, Quinn. Everything’s going to be okay.” I felt Axel’s hand on my forearm. Blinking with confusion, I looked down and saw that my bloody hand still gripped the rock.
“I killed her! Oh my god!”
Axel placed his hand on Jillian’s throat and checked for a pulse. “No. She’s alive.” He pulled his cell phone out of his pocket and dialed 911. In a hurry, he explained the situation to dispatch and demanded they send the police and ambulance.
“It’s okay, Quinn. You were defending yourself.” The soft reassurance of his voice soothed me. I loosened my grip on the rock and let it fall to the ground.
“Are you all right?” he asked gruffly.
I stared into his dark eyes for a long moment before finally whispering, “No.” And then I threw myself at him, needing his strength.
I clung to him desperately as I sobbed for what felt like a lifetime. Weak from exhaustion, my body collapsed against his. The next thing I knew, I was in his arms, and he stroked my back with his big, warm hands. “It’s all right,” he said softly. “You’re all right now.”
He pulled back slightly, remorse clouding his shadowed eyes. “I’m so sorry. I should have never left you.”
Tears stung my eyes. “I’m sorry I put you in a situation that you felt you had to. I know you may never trust me again.”
Axel’s features creased with remorse. “I left you, and you got attacked. It’s all my fault.”
“You had no way of knowing.”
Axel looked ready to argue, but a shout from behind put an end to the conversation. I turned to see two police officers immediately hurry toward Jillian’s unconscious form.
“What happened?” the cop demanded, his steely eyes fixed on me and Axel.
In a calm yet firm voice, Axel told the officers everything. When he finished, he glanced at me and smiled. It was a smile that let me know it truly would be all right. Everything would be fine… with Axel.
After hours of answering questions and filling out paperwork, we were finally free to go. I felt relief when Jillian regained consciousness as the paramedics arrived. No matter what, I didn’t want to hurt her, and definitely didn’t want to kill her. The incident was the most terrifying experience of my life. I refused to press charges even though the police urged me to do so. At the end of the day, Jillian needed help. Not jail, but help with her demons, and definitely help with her addictions.
Axel escorted me to the limo and gently assisted me inside. “Do you hurt? You have cuts and bruises.”
“A little, but I’ll be fine.”
Axel watched me intently. His eyes shone with so much protectiveness. So much uncertainty. He reached out, cupping the right side of my face ever so gently in the palm of his hand. “We’re going to the hospital to get everything checked out.”
“I’m fine. Please, I don’t want to go to the hospital. I have some cuts and bruises. That’s all. The paramedics already checked me out. Please.”
Axel sighed. “Fine, but you’re staying with me tonight. Don’t even try arguing. I’m not asking, I’m telling.”
I blinked back more tears and he leaned forward and slowly, reverently, pressed a kiss to my bruised cheek. He repeated the gesture, kissing my cut cheekbone, then the bridge of my bloody nose, the curve of my beaten jaw, my eyelid. Finally, he found my mouth and pressed his lips to mine. I started to cry as he pulled me close and wrapped his arms around me.
“I’m not going anywhere, Quinn. I will never leave your side again.”
“Oh, god,” I said, my hands curling into the fabric of his shirt as I pulled him closer, almost as though I tried to merge my body with his. “You have no idea how afraid I was.”
Axel nodded. “I’ll never let Jillian near you again.”
I shook my head. “No. I don’t care about Jillian and that whole incident. It’s over. I was so scared of losing… you.”
“Never again,” he whispered as he dropped a kiss onto my forehead.
I leaned into him deeper. “You’ll forgive me?” I asked and rested my tear-stained face in the crook of Axel’s neck for a moment. His hand found my back and massaged it lightly in small circles for a long moment.
“I can’t stand seeing you cry.” He leaned over and kissed my damp cheek. “I love you.”
“Let’s go to your place and work things out. Let us start over, please. Let’s make us whole again,” I pleaded. “Forgive me and love me again.”
16
No More Fucks
Axel
With uncertainty and nerves twisting my stomach, the night was an emotional blur. The entire ride to my place, was filled with relief to have Quinn sitting safely beside me, mixed with confusion and pain I couldn’t quite shake off. I didn’t know what to expect when we got home. My mind working in overdrive, I closed my eyes to try to clear my thoughts.
Quinn reached for my hand, and the soft touch made my heart leap out of my chest. I didn’t want to face the woman I so desperately loved only to see betrayal. I couldn’t give her reassurance, so I gently pulled my hand free. Silence was the only thing I could offer.
“Axel? I’d really like to show you something if I can.”
I didn’t want to be dramatic and continue with my fury, call off the relationship, or do any other rash action that ran through my head. At the end of the day, I loved her completely. Seeing her hurt only intensified my feelings for her. She was everything I could ever dream of. I wanted to make this work. Quinn had already surrendered her love and given her entire heart. It was obvious. And she was sorry. That much was obvious. But could I trust her?
She reached into her purse and pulled out a bunch of papers wrapped in a rubber band.
“What is all that?”
I read her written name, confused. “Your name?”
“Yes, my name. Quinn Sullivan.”
“I don’t understand.”
“When I was a child, my grandmother always told me that I had a name that should be lit up in lights. I had a name worthy of a queen. She told me that with a name like Quinn Sullivan, I was destined for success.” She paused to take a deep breath. “Every time I place my name on something I write, I feel like I am honoring my grandmother’s memory.” She took another deep breath and continued on. “There was not a lot of love in my home growing up. My parents weren’t affectionate and rarely offered praise. It wasn’t a bad childhood or anything. Just cold. But things were different with my grandmother. She made me feel like the most special person in the world. Her words and encouragement made me feel like I could do whatever I wanted. She actually made me believe I was destined for great things.” She paused as she wiped at a falling tear. “She made me promise to do something special with my life. She made me promise to make Quinn Sullivan a name not to be forgotten. She made me promise to shoot for my dreams, because with a name like mine, dreams would come to reality. It doesn’t excuse my lies…”
I reached for Quinn’s hand and linked my fingers through hers. I offered a smile, finding it impossible to be angry at the woman before me. She squeezed her fingers tightly between mine, and a shiver of satisfaction went through me. The simplest touch confirmed that Quinn was the only woman I would ever need.
Quinn was here… fighting. Confiding in me like she’d never done before. Deep down I’d hoped she would come to me, that the bond between us was as powerful as I believed. It had been weeks and I had tried my best to forget all about her, blocking the painful memories of her lies from my mind.
But here she was, sitting before me with her face shadowed in the dim light of the passing streetlights. She was a woman of such beauty that she took my breath away. Her skin was smooth, golden—gorgeous even with the bruises and cuts. Her hair an enchanting brown, richer and deeper than any woman’s I’d seen. It fell over her delicate shoulders with a slight curl at the bottom. Her eyes were closed, her lashes lying thick and dark against her cheeks. I needed to see into her eyes… into her heart. But she kept them shut, her face saddened by her memories.
I couldn’t stop myself from reaching out to her. It seemed like an eternity since I last touched her. I skimmed my fingertips along the edge of her swollen jaw.
She gasped, but instead of pulling back, she leaned closer, her eyes fluttering open. “I know I don’t deserve you,” she murmured. “I wish I could do it all over…”
I slid my thumb up over her chin and then across her bottom lip. On a shaky sigh, she parted her lips. She stared directly into my eyes.
“Axel…”
I leaned down and closed the distance between my mouth and hers. My hands still cupping her face, I tipped her chin up. Then I brushed my lips gently across hers in a whisper-soft kiss.
“I’m sorry. I came here to get a story that could really make Quinn Sullivan a name people had heard of. I saw the possibility of a book deal, and I saw potential success. I came here, and I met you, for all the wrong reasons.” Quinn wiped at a falling tear. “But I swear to you, that somewhere along our path, everything changed. I fell in love. I gave you my entire heart. I gave you the entirety of my soul. Not because of a book, but because I truly fell in love with you.”
I nodded as the pain in my heart subsided. Quinn reached out unexpectedly and gripped her hand around my neck. In one swift movement, her mouth came down powerfully on mine, her tongue plunging past my lips as if she were claiming me, possessing me as hers. I clutched at her arms, deepening the kiss, leaving nothing but overwhelming love.
Arousal sparked in my body as if Quinn had lit me on fire. I parted her lips with the force of my tongue, my hands desperately clinging to the fabric of her shirt. Our tongues danced together as electric currents rippled through my body, my cock hardening at the sensation of Quinn’s body pressing against mine, my mind spiraling out of control with the knowledge of the erotic gratification we could bring each other.
She cleared her throat. “I will apologize every day if you’ll let me. Just don’t walk away.”
I wiped at the tears streaming down her face. “I’ll never give up on us again.”
The one thing that was clear was what I wanted, what I’d always wanted. I wanted her back. The only woman I’d ever truly loved. Being without her for even this short time made me realize that. The question was if I could trust her. Did I truly believe her about the book? I wondered if I deluded myself into thinking she wouldn’t use me now that we were in love. That things had changed since she first arrived. Her intentions were different. Was she really in love like she claimed?
I couldn’t stop believing that we had this love at first sight: crazy love. A kind of love that no matter the insecurities or the anger, never lessened. There had been a time when it would have been impossible for me to admit to myself, much less say out loud, how much I was in love. But I could clearly see that I’d fallen hard—she was all I wanted.
It hurt. It hurt badly to have Quinn lie to me. But I had to forgive in order to move on, and it did appear as if she felt truly sorry. I knew this was love. I felt it in every fiber of my being. I loved her. I always would. And I was sure that she loved me, too. But even as I thought it, doubts assailed me. This is what we needed to work out. This is what I needed to work out.
As we walked into the loft, I glanced around, grateful I hadn’t left the place a mess. Immediately, nerves formed a tight knot in my stomach, my heartbeat slamming against my rib cage. I tossed my keys on the granite counter and immediately went to grab a bottle of red wine.
“Can I pour you a glass of wine?” I asked as I popped the cork.
“Yes, please.”
At the sound of her voice, inches from my ear, I spun around to see Quinn leaning against the counter with a smile. With a thud, I dropped the bottle on the counter, grabbing her, hauling her close and covering her mouth with my own, running my hands all over Quinn’s body.
With a soft moan and a light giggle, she broke away from the kiss, a frown creasing her forehead. “This is for real, right? My heart can’t take it if you compare me to a groupie again,” Quinn said, her voice cracking slightly.
I shook my head, continuing to run my hands over her back. “I shouldn’t have said those things, or acted that way. I was mean and wrong. I was hurt, but that doesn’t excuse me lashing out at you.” I stopped, shaking my head, closing my eyes briefly. “I know I hurt you, too.”
“I thought I lost you,” she said, looking away briefly.
“I don’t want our love to be delicate like you said. We’re strong enough to get through anything. Even if I did a horrible job of showing you that.” My heartbeat harsh in my chest, I looked into Quinn’s eyes. “Do you forgive me?” I asked, my eyes searching hers.
I saw regret cloud her eyes before she turned away. I felt everything in my body freeze as I gazed at the woman I loved, attempting to read the emotions in her eyes, trying to determine their meaning.
With tears releasing from her eyes, Quinn placed a hand on my arm. “Axel, please don’t apologize—” She broke off, swallowing hard. “I’ll never doubt your love for me… for us. I’ll always trust in you… as long as you can trust in me.” She stopped, wiping at her tears. “I love you. I always will.”
Any other words were forgotten as I brought our mouths together.
Quinn laughed around the kisses as I led her to the room and kicked the door to the bedroom open, bundled her in my arms, and with long strides, placed Quinn down onto the bed.
“I want you,” I said
. With a groan, I rapidly began to undress her, only to be rewarded with Quinn doing the same to me.
“God, I want you, too,” she said, her voice breathless, as she frantically pulled at my pants.
I felt my body burn in eager anticipation as I stared down at the vision of Quinn splayed out in front of me. I ran a finger down the line of her throat, down the midline of her body, before stopping at the juncture of her thighs.
Locking my eyes on hers, I stroked a finger deep inside her, her walls clamping tight against my invasion. With a groan, I withdrew, my finger covered with Quinn’s sexual desire.
I loved how good it was between us. She was always so responsive to my touch. I closed my eyes briefly, my desire growing thicker.
“I’ve missed this,” I said with a groan, fighting the urge to spread Quinn’s legs and press my cock deep inside her willing warmth.
But I wanted to take my time. Separating her pussy lips, I watched in heated fascination as she lost control. With every drag and pull of my finger, Quinn’s walls clenched and released in rhythmic pulses, her cream easing down and covering my hand. All control was lost.
“I’ve got to taste you,” I said, spreading her legs farther apart.
I tasted.
I devoured.
She was mine again.
Quinn
The first stroke of Axel’s tongue against me had me rearing my body up and off the mattress, a cry tumbling from my lips. I moaned softly, my hands coming out to brace myself on the bed as Axel flicked his tongue over and around my clit, toying with me before surrounding my pleasure point completely within the warm cavern of his mouth.
On and on it went, alternating between stabbing flicks of his tongue and long sweeping kisses, driving my passion to a whole new level. When Axel drew his tongue completely out and nibbled gently, an orgasm washed over me—gentle at first but then intense as it grew. His fingers slid into me, going deep, causing stars to flash behind my tightly closed lids as I came, crying out as the tremors rocked my entire body. Entirely wrung out, my body collapsed onto the mattress, my muscles weak