by Kristi Gold
With a satisfied expression, Joanna complied. Rio handed the baby off to Brendan O’Connor, relieved that the infant’s color looked good.
“Is she okay?” Allison asked in a tear-filled voice.
Brendan spoke without turning from the newborn. “She looks great so far and she’s breathing on her own, but I need to take her to the NICU and observe her for at least twenty-four hours.”
“Can I see her first?” Allison asked.
“Sure.” Brendan placed the baby in her mother’s arms and stepped away from the bed.
Rio noticed that the exhaustion on Allison’s face disappeared with the first glimpse of her daughter. “You were supposed to be a boy, little one.” She brushed a kiss across the baby’s cheek. “But you’re still my miracle.”
As far as Rio was concerned, every birth, every baby was indeed a miracle, and so was the fact that he had found Joanna. He wanted to tell her right then, but he didn’t want an audience playing witness when he spilled his guts.
After he finished his final doctor duties and the baby had been whisked away in the care of Brendan O’Connor, Rio looked up to see Allison reclined on the bed, her eyes closed against the fluorescent lights. He searched the room for Joanna only to discover she was missing. That sure as hell wouldn’t do. He had to find her and fast, before he lost his nerve. Before another minute passed when he could say what was on his mind, in his heart.
Quietly he turned to leave Allison in Sara’s care until “Dr. Madrid” came from behind him.
He faced the bed to find Allison now looking wide awake. “I thought you were asleep,” he said.
“I’m not sure how much I’ll be able to sleep until I know the baby’s okay.”
“You need to try and rest. Once you have her home, sleep might be at a premium.”
“Since I doubt I still have a job, I’ll have plenty of time for that.”
Rio moved back to her side and sent her a sympathetic look. “Is there anyone I can call for you?”
She shook her head. “I’ll phone my dad in a while, but he’s in New Jersey with my sister.”
“Anyone else that might want to know?” Rio realized he was fishing, but he hated to see Allison go through this alone.
She turned away from him and focused on the window but not before he saw a few latent tears. “No.”
“Okay. Just let me know if you change your mind.”
Allison met his gaze. “Thanks for everything. And you know something? You two were amazing.”
“Excuse me?”
“You and Joanna. The way you both worked together to deliver my baby was absolutely incredible, as if you were practically one person. Most people live all their lives hoping for that kind of synchronicity in a relationship.”
He had hoped for the same though he’d never realized it until now. Until Joanna. “We work well together.”
Allison afforded him a grin. “It goes way beyond your working relationship. Anyone with half a brain can tell that you two love each other.”
He shot a glance in Sara’s direction. She appeared to be paying more attention to the cleanup than the conversation, but Rio knew better. “Get some sleep,” he said to Allison in a mock-firm tone to cover his sudden self-consciousness.
“I promise I’ll try. As long as you promise to hang on to what you and Joanna have found together.”
Exactly what Rio had planned. “I’ll see what I can do. Wish me luck.”
“Good luck,” Sara said, her back turned to him and a smile in her voice.
“You don’t need any luck,” Allison said. “Not as long as you have each other.”
If he could just be assured that he would have Joanna. Only one way to find out.
After Rio told Allison and Sara goodbye, a deep-seated longing followed him all the way down the hall while determination quickened his steps in his search for Joanna.
She was very much a part of him now, as his mother had told him it would be with the special woman destined to change his life. He hadn’t believed her, hadn’t believed that he would ever be capable of loving someone as much as he loved Joanna, or that he would hurt so badly over the prospect of losing her.
To hell with his old ideas about marriage. He wasn’t his stepfather, and she wasn’t his mother. Commitment was no longer an unpalatable prospect. He valued all that Joanna was as a person, valued her love, and if he had to get a license to prove it, then so be it.
Rio experienced a sudden sense of liberation as he acknowledged that he had finally found true freedom through his love for Joanna Blake.
Now if he could only find her.
Joanna entered the NICU to check on Allison’s daughter and came upon Brendan O’Connor talking to a respiratory therapist. She hung back until the conversation ended before addressing the neonatologist. “Hi again.”
His drop-dead smile and calm demeanor left no room for doubt in Joanna’s mind as to why Cassie had fallen for this particular physician. “Hey, Joanna. Great work during the Cartwright delivery. Maybe Cassie and I should consider hiring you and Dr. Madrid with our next baby.”
“I’ll keep that in mind over the next couple of years.”
He glanced away. “Try the next seven months.”
Joanna’s eyes widened. “Cassie’s pregnant again?”
Brendan’s chagrin turned into a self-satisfied smile. “Yeah, she is. We didn’t exactly expect it to be quite this soon, but Cassie’s always said that the best things in life aren’t planned, and I couldn’t agree more.”
Neither could Joanna. She certainly hadn’t planned to encounter a devastating doctor on New Year’s Eve, but she had, and regardless that she saw no real future for them, she would never regret meeting—or loving—Rio Madrid.
“Congratulations, Brendan. I think it’s wonderful. Tell Cassie I’ll call her soon.”
“I’m sure she’d appreciate some adult conversation.”
Joanna decided she might need Cassie’s shoulder to cry on in the near future. She scanned the rows of cribs, most housing critically ill infants. “Where’s baby Cartwright?”
Brendan gestured across the large area divided into various sections according to the level of care. “She’s in intermediate at the back of the unit. She looks great. I’ll probably release her in the next couple of days.”
“That’s wonderful news, and if it’s okay, I’d like to check on her before I leave.”
“No problem. But just so you know, she has another visitor at the moment.”
Joanna immediately considered that Rio had beaten her to the punch. “Dr. Madrid’s here?”
“No. Dr. Billings, the neurosurgeon.”
“Is a neuro check standard?”
“No, and he doesn’t handle pediatrics. He just showed up all of a sudden and asked to see her. Beyond that, I have no idea why he’s here.”
The cogs in Joanna’s brain started turning at warp speed. “Tell me something, Brendan. Is Dr. Billings married?”
“No. Why? Are you interested in him?”
Lord, no. She had more doctor than she could handle in Rio. “Nope. Just curious.” She started toward the rear of the room to avoid more questions. “I’m going to see the baby.” And to size up Dr. Lane Billings.
Maybe her imagination was running helter-skelter, but Joanna couldn’t help wondering if the neurosurgeon might be the missing link in the Cartwright baby’s parentage.
After stopping a resident who pointed out the newborn, Joanna hesitated in the aisle when she noticed the man standing over the transparent crib. She wouldn’t have pegged him as a doctor had it not been for the lab coat covering his boot-cut cowboy jeans and the plastic credentials pinned to his lapel. His medium-brown hair looked as if he’d run his fingers through it several times, but aside from that, he had above-average looks. His tanned skin indicated he’d spent a lot of time out of doors. His sober expression revealed he very well could have suffered a recent shock. One that might involve learning he had a new daughter.
Feeling like an intruder, Joanna considered leaving him alone. Unanswered questions drove her forward.
She moved next to the doctor and looked down on the sleeping infant. “A beautiful baby, isn’t she?”
Billings looked at her, surprise reflecting in his dark-brown eyes. “Yeah, she is.”
Joanna offered her hand. “I’m Joanna Blake, the midwife who assisted in the delivery.”
He took her hand into his for a brief shake. “Dr. Lane Billings.”
“Nice to meet you. Are you here to check out the baby?”
“No.”
“Just visiting then?”
“You could say that.”
A man of few words, Joanna decided. Or perhaps he didn’t appreciate her nosiness. “I take it you know Allison.”
“She worked for me at one time.”
“Really? I thought she worked for attorneys.”
“Not until seven months ago. I’ve been gone a while. I only returned to Memorial about a month ago.”
Joanna did a mental countdown. Seven months would be about right in terms of timing and Allison’s pregnancy. And Allison had said that the baby’s father had been on leave.
He turned his attention back to the infant. “Is she okay?”
“Dr. O’Connor said she’s doing great.”
“I meant Allison. O’Connor told me she had a rough delivery. Something about preeclampsia.”
“It was touch-and-go for a while but she’s fine. She’ll probably need to stay here a few extra days.” Joanna took a breath and a chance. “Since she has no family around here, I’m sure she’d love to see you.”
“I’m not sure she would.”
“Oh. Then you didn’t part on good terms.”
He lowered his head. “I didn’t know she was pregnant. If I had known, I wouldn’t have taken off like I did.”
The puzzle was finally coming together though Lane Billings looked as if he might come apart. “Maybe you should tell her.”
He released a coarse, weary sigh. “I’m not sure she’ll believe me. I wouldn’t blame her if she didn’t.” He met Joanna’s gaze. “I have no idea why I’m telling you all of this.”
“Me, neither, but Allison is my friend as well as my patient, and I think you should talk to her.”
“Maybe I will. At least I can try.”
Joanna nodded toward the infant who seemed totally serene among the clanks, bells and clatter of the NICU. “You owe it to her.”
Billings’s gaze returned to the little girl with the light-brown hair and a small cleft in her chin, a miniature mirror image of the doctor. “I owe both of them. Life is too short to keep making the same mistakes over and over.”
How well Joanna knew that concept. And because she did have that personal knowledge, she also knew what she had to do after she left the hospital.
Backing away from the crib, she murmured, “Good luck,” then turned and left the doctor, hoping that maybe somehow he and Allison could at least make amends, if not a family.
Joanna longed to have a family too. One that included Rio. But that wasn’t going to be possible, not unless Rio was willing to cross the self-imposed boundaries that kept him from commitment. She also realized that with each passing day, it would only become more difficult to distance herself from him.
For that reason, she’d come to the conclusion that leaving Rio now would be best, before she couldn’t leave him at all.
Eleven
Joanna gathered the last of her things and put them into the final box then surveyed the lilac room with yearning and sadness. She might miss this place, but she would definitely miss Rio more.
After leaving the hospital, she’d returned to the center and approached the administrator about temporarily staying in the on-call room. She’d received an affirmative answer but with the deal came the agreement that she would take call most of the time for the next four months. No problem for Joanna since she would need all her hours filled in order not to think about Rio or how much she missed her son.
In the meantime, Joanna would focus on the good things that had happened today. She’d received a great review, a substantial salary increase and with any luck at all, she would save enough money to pay off a few more bills, find a suitable place for her and Joseph to live by the time summer rolled around. It wouldn’t be the same as living with Rio, but it was the best she could do for now.
Joanna made a mental note to call and check on Allison before she left the house, but first she intended to load her car. Gathering the box under one arm and draping her hanging clothes over the other, she trudged down both flights of stairs and stopped at the bottom to look up at the stained-glass cat that seemed to be staring at her with judgment.
“I have to go. I don’t have a choice.” Talking to an inanimate object made Joanna feel somewhat ridiculous, but her feelings of regret overrode all others. She didn’t really want to go but she knew she must.
Although Joanna wanted to avoid a confrontation, leaving without Rio’s knowledge seemed totally unfair. She decided to wait until he returned home. She owed him at least that much. She owed him a lot. He’d taken her into his home without question, welcomed her son with a kindness she’d rarely seen in Joseph’s own father, and he’d made love to her as if she really mattered, even if he didn’t love her in the way that she wanted to be loved.
The sound of hoof-paws echoed in the foyer as Gabby came bounding in. Amazingly, the dog rose up and planted her massive feet on Joanna’s chest.
“A fine time for you to get sentimental on me, Gabby girl. Normally you wouldn’t bother to give me the time of day. But then you probably just need some attention and I’m the only one available. Now get down for a sec and I’ll pet you.”
Gabby complied, her tail wagging furiously. Joanna set down her things, took a seat on the bottom step and gave the dog a good scratching behind her ears while she waited. Tears filled Joanna’s eyes and Gabby stared at her with an almost sympathetic look, as if she knew how hard it was for Joanna to go.
“It’ll be okay,” Joanna said in a soft voice. “He’ll be okay. After all, he has you. He doesn’t really need me.”
“Yes, he does.”
Joanna’s hand stopped midstroke on Gabby’s coarse fur and her gaze drifted to the den’s entry. And there stood Rio, his hands shoved in his jeans pockets, a black T-shirt drawn tightly over his chest, his dark hair pulled back at his nape to reveal the gold earring twinkling like the chandelier above them. Almost the picture-perfect image he had presented the night she’d left him in the ballroom, minus the suit and the smile.
Joanna’s heart took a little tumble. Had she really heard him right? He needed her? Maybe so, but need and love were two entirely different things, so she had to remain strong.
He approached her and surveyed her with pensive eyes. “I’ve been looking all over for you at the hospital.”
“I stopped by the NICU to see Allison’s baby.”
“So did I, but I must have just missed you.”
“Must have.”
He eyed her belongings set out on the stairs. “Are you going somewhere?”
Joanna stood on wobbly knees and all the emotions she had been determined to hold back welled up inside her. Her eyes blurred from the tears she didn’t want to claim. “I can’t stay, Rio. Not with the way things now stand between us.”
He held out his hand. “Come with me upstairs. I want to show you something.”
If he meant to persuade her by taking her to his bed, she’d never be able to leave. “Rio, I really don’t think—”
“Trust me, Joanna. This is important.” His compelling voice, his solemn expression, drove her to take his hand.
As if she had no will of her own, Joanna allowed him to lead her back up the stairs, his grip firmly intertwined with hers, her heart soundly tangled up in her love for him. They entered his bedroom where he seated her on the small sofa facing the fireplace. The lingering smell of wood smoke blending
with incense brought back memories of the night before when Rio had stoked the fire within her, a flame that still smoldered regardless of her attempts to douse it.
But Dr. Rio Madrid wasn’t easy to ignore, even now when he crossed the room to the bureau near his bed. She concentrated on the roll of his narrow hips encased in faded denim, thinking he was such a dichotomy—sensual male interwoven with consummate doctor. Another thing she dearly loved about him.
He returned to her holding a small faded jade-colored box in one large palm. After taking a seat beside her, he opened the box to a silver ring with a topaz stone. “This was my mother’s,” he said. “My father gave it to her when they married. He bought it off of a street vendor in San Diego, supposedly with all the money he had.”
Joanna surveyed the ring and found it beautiful in its simplicity. “That’s a wonderful story.”
“Try it on.”
Joanna raised her gaze from the ring to his powerful golden eyes. Without waiting for her response, Rio pulled it from the box and slid it onto Joanna’s left ring finger. “It’s perfect,” he said. “I knew it would be.”
Joanna couldn’t fathom what was happening. Was he presenting her with a goodbye gift? A token of his esteem? Something to remember him by? As if she really needed an object as a reminder of him, of what they had shared. “I can’t accept this, Rio. It has to have a lot of sentimental value.”
He brought her hand to his lips and kissed her finger right above the ring. “It belongs to you, Joanna. Just as we belong together.”
Joanna’s heart shuffled into her throat. “I don’t understand.”
“Yes, you do. I’m saying I love you. I’m saying that I’m willing to make a commitment to you and Joseph, and I want to prove it.”
Joanna was nearly rendered speechless. “By giving me a ring?”
“The ring is a token. I intend to give you more.” He brushed a gentle kiss over her lips. “My mother once told me about a Mayan ceremony when lovers unite for life. I wasn’t paying much attention to what was involved, so that means we’ll have to go with the contemporary method, a license and someone official to perform the ceremony.”